Tortured Souls (Rebels of Sandland Book 2)

by Nikki J Summers

  But most of all, I’m sorry that you’re hurting. I want to take it away, but I don’t know how. Everything I do or say seems to make it worse, and I’m lost, little warrior. I’m lost here.

  I don’t know what else to tell you right now, but I hope that one day you’ll find the happiness you deserve. I pray that one day I get to see it. All I want is to see that sparkle in your eyes again.

  I’ve attached a video link. I guess it says how I feel better than any words I could use. Watch it. And when you do, know that this is my message to you. I’m not a good guy, but I want to be. I haven’t always done the right thing, but with your help I hope I’m learning.

  Be strong, little warrior. One day, it’ll all turn out right.

  Brandon x

  I was shaking and the tears were streaming down my face. His words were unexpected and just so beautiful.

  I had no idea what the YouTube video would show me. I’d never heard of the song Demons by Imagine Dragons, but I put my Air Pods in and clicked on the link, and I watched and really listened.

  Holy shit.

  I thought I was crying when I read the message, but the video damn near broke me. I replayed it over and over again. I even Googled the words and cried harder at what they were telling me. He was a broken boy, and I was a broken girl. He wanted to heal me, but he didn’t know how.

  I wiped away my tears so I could see the screen of my laptop. I tried to stop my hands from shaking so I could type a sentence.

  LadyStoneheart23- Tell me something that made you smile today.

  I didn’t know what else to say. But this was my way of reaching out to him. My own olive branch. I couldn’t just leave the message as read and not respond. I wasn’t totally heartless, despite feeling like my chest was a hollow void of nothingness most days. There was still something there, and he’d just ignited a small spark within me.

  The dots instantly started dancing about to show me he was responding. I held my breath, waiting for what he’d say.

  Legion – You.

  You made me smile.

  Thank you for reading my message. X

  I stared at the screen, not sure what I should type back. I was lost for words, drowning in a sea of emotions and feeling totally and utterly drained.

  LadyStoneheart23- Every journey starts with a single step. I took a step today. You did that for me. Thank you. X

  Legion- Anything for you, little warrior. Anything. X

  With a heavy heart, I logged off. I didn’t want to go into the main chat. I’d got what I came for. I’d needed to share and unload some of my grief. But instead, he’d shared a piece of himself and that was enough. His honesty had given me what I’d needed. It was okay to be angry, to not know how to react. But I needed to remember that in my darkest times I wasn’t alone, and I could do this. I could find my way back. It was time for me to try and start living again.

  This was what I’d missed. What I’d grown envious of to the point of wanting to fuck shit up over.

  Our parties.

  Knowing the lads had started them back up without me had hurt, I couldn’t deny that. But tonight, it was all about my comeback. This was what I’d been waiting for and I might sound conceited, but I couldn’t give a fuck. It was what the people wanted too.

  I hadn’t expected to see Emily chipping in to help set things up, but she did. The girl swept the floor in the main area of the waterworks like she was preparing for a visit from the queen. I kind of felt sorry for the broom with how hard she was working it. I guess she was trying to distract herself from her Dad’s trial. It was into its second week and the publicity on that thing was brutal. The press was dragging her dad, Alec Winters, name through the mud, and Emily’s too. But Ryan was doing a good job of taking her mind off it. Ryan, and the broom she was currently abusing.

  “I think you missed a spot,” I said, tutting and pointing to the part of the floor she’d swept for the twenty-fifth time.

  She stopped and wiped the sweat from her brow and blew her hair out of her face.

  “Don’t you have a bag you should be punching somewhere? Or a person? Maybe you could practise on yourself?”

  I threw my head back and laughed.

  “Nice to see you still have some fight left inside you. I missed sparring with you, Winters.” I held my fists up and punched the air and she huffed out a laugh.

  “I missed it too. I like giving my brain a workout, thinking up new ways to insult you.”

  “I like a woman with brains.” I shrugged.

  “You like a woman if she’s breathing. Brains doesn’t even come into it.”

  I faked a shocked look and went to give her a cheeky response, but Ryan cut me off.

  “I’ve just got another text.”

  I turned and watched Zak and Finn walk towards us, getting their mobile phones out of their pockets.

  “Yeah, me too.” Zak sighed and rubbed his hand over his face in exasperation.

  “I changed my mobile number three days ago and they’re still texting me? Why?” Finn asked, sounding exhausted. I think the paint fumes were getting to him. He needed to take a break from his Effy masterpiece.

  “Because, like it says, we need to pay for what we did,” Ryan said, then turned to look at Emily. “I’m sorry to say it, babe, but your dad is in on this. I just know it.”

  “Did you get a text?” Emily asked, spinning round to face me. All four of them pinned me with an expectant stare.

  I took my mobile out of my back pocket and tapped the screen, but there was no message. I knew it’d look suspicious, but I wasn’t about to hide the truth from them. Not anymore. I’d had enough of hiding.

  “Nope. I got nothing.” I held my phone up as if to show them, not that they could see anything from where they stood.

  “Why are they texting you three and not Brandon?” Emily was asking the million dollar question that was on all of their minds.

  “Because whoever is sending these texts thinks Brandon is innocent?” Finn offered, looking hopeful and giving a shrug. I liked his optimism.

  “Or they don’t know he was involved?” Zak replied, and Ryan groaned at both of their lame responses.

  “Or our friend here knows more than he’s letting on.” Trust Ryan to go straight for the jugular.

  “What are you trying to say, mate? You think I sent those? You think I don’t have anything better to do than send shitty texts to my best friends. Fuck that and fuck you if you don’t believe me.”

  I didn’t have time for this shit. Our energies would be better spent on trying to figure out who was sending them. That, and my awesome comeback fight.

  “I believe you,” Emily stated firmly. “Ryan, I think you do too,” she said, giving him the side-eye. I guess he didn’t like the prospect of sleeping on the couch as he shrugged and nodded in agreement.

  “Zak, haven’t you been able to get a breakthrough on it? Come on. Tech is your thing, man. If anyone can find out who’s sending them, it’s you,” I added, taking the heat off me for a while. “Or maybe you don’t want to say anything ‘cos you know who it is already and you’re protecting them.”

  Zak bustled forward like he was going to teach me a lesson, but Ryan stepped in his way and tried to calm him down.

  “Zak’s tried,” Ryan said, looking between the two of us. “We don’t know. Do you think we’d be standing here wasting time if we did?”

  “Maybe you should let Kian take a look. I know he’s got a mouth the size of the Blackwall Tunnel, but he knows his stuff.”

  I knew Kian had skills. He’d tapped into Harper’s internet fast enough. Maybe he could help out here too.

  “A fresh pair of eyes might help,” Emily replied, looking ever hopeful.

  “Maybe. But for now, we keep this between us. The less people that know, the better. We watch our backs, and we watch each other. If someone’s out to get us, they’ll have to go against all of us.” Ryan folded his arms over his chest and stood tall.

  �
��Damn fucking right,” I replied, lifting my chin to show them that I was right there with them. You hurt one of us, you hurt us all, and that included Emily.

  Five hours later, and the grey empty space we’d been stood in before was transformed into the hottest event within a thirty-mile radius. Zak’s strobe lights and thumping bass made the atmosphere electric. The people were packed in; wall to wall bodies that were dancing, drinking, smoking, and living life the way they wanted to live it. That was the fucking point of all this, after all. We were giving our two fingers to the establishment. They could try taming us and slap all the restrictions they liked around the town, but if we wanted to party, we would fucking party.

  I stood to the side and scanned the area. I didn’t know why I was looking for her, but I was. Stupid, really. Why would she come to a thing like this? She’d barely left the house since I’d been back.

  I couldn’t deny I felt a twinge of disappointment that she wasn’t here though. In some twisted way, I wanted to share this with her. It was my big moment, and I was pumped and ready for it. Brandon Mathers was back in business.

  “Don’t look now, but Lockwood just walked in,” Emily said, coming to stand next to me and nodding to the far end of the building.

  “Which one?” I asked, not really giving a shit.

  “Both of them.” She raised her eyebrows at me, obviously unsure what my reaction would be.

  “They came to see a decent fight. A fair fight.” I shrugged. “That’s something they don’t usually take part in.”

  I already had my arsenal fully loaded for when I saw Lockwood. I knew he’d give me a wide berth though. This was my territory he was on, and he was outnumbered, outskilled and outsmarted. He’d never choose to go against me, not in front of everyone. His defeat would be too humiliating. He was saving himself for a time when I’d be alone. Thing was, I was never alone. The demons he’d given me all those years ago followed me everywhere, and retribution was what they fed on. I’d always be ready for him.

  I made my way to the back room, where Kian was hyping the crowd up for my first fight. I was so ready for this. I was going to give them a show they’d never forget. The words that Lockwood had said to me all those months ago still rang in my ears.

  “You’re a wannabe Tyson Fury without the charisma. You’re less gypsy king and more shitty king. You know, like the shit they found you in when your mum left you to bone every drug dealer she could get her hands on.”

  When he’d said that before, I’d snapped. I’d let my anger get the better of me and I’d lost my head. But not today. Today that memory was spurring me on.

  No charisma?

  I was going to fucking ooze the stuff.

  I couldn’t give a rat’s ass what he said about my mum. She was a piece of crap. But every time he spoke, every time he showed the world what a low-life cunt he was, hitting Harper like he did, it fuelled the demons inside me. It gave me even more reason to focus, channel my energy, and release that tension in the best way I knew how. Through my fists.

  Finn had already taped up my hands, and when I got into our custom-made ring, with its hay bales and the usual crowd of familiar faces hanging off the edge, I smiled.

  I fucking loved this.

  The smell of the sawdust and the hay, the buzz from the masses; this was what I was made to do. I was a fighter. I’d always be a fighter. This was my world, my life. If I didn’t have this, then what was the point in anything?

  I was fighting some kid from a few towns over; Callum Kendall I think his name was. Kid had a similar build to me, but that didn’t mean shit. From the look on his face he thought he had this all wrapped up. But I’d enjoy teaching him a lesson in manners.

  I was the fucking king around here.

  The crowd began to cheer and shout as I took my t-shirt off and started to roll my shoulders and jab the air with my fists. My adrenaline was through the roof, but I was good at keeping myself in check. I couldn’t let ego get in the way of my performance. Well, not yet, anyway.

  I painted on my trademark evil grin and stared at Kendall before I turned to the crowd and held my arms up.

  “You thought I wouldn’t show up? Thought you’d seen the last of me?” I shouted over the noise with a wicked smirk on my face. “Now, why would I piss around? I came here ‘cos I’ll throw down with any motherfucker who talks shit about me in this town.”

  The crowd started chanting my name, and I could see Kendall gritting his teeth. He knew he was getting stitched-up and I fucking loved it.

  “Did you miss me?” A few called out yeah, while the rest told me to shut the fuck up and get on with it. “Of course you did. What else would you be doing on a Friday night but watching me smack the shit out of this little fucker here?” I thumbed to Kendall and laughed. The crowd was fucking lapping it up and I was on a roll.

  “I’m undefeated,” I shouted, flexing my arms and giving Kendall a wink. “But you’re welcome to have a go. You see this?” I pointed at my fist. “Weapon of mass destruction. You’d know all about that, wouldn’t you, Lockwood,” I said, turning back to the crowd. The booing that ensued told me they already knew what a piece of shit he was.

  “I know you’re hiding in here somewhere. But I’ll find you. You need payback, and I’m not talking about the shit that went down with me and my brothers. See, this is what we do for our women, Lockwood. We throw parties. You? You throw your fucking fists, you absolute bellend.” I nodded to myself, feeling that anger starting to surge forward.

  “I know you, Lockwood. You can’t hide from me. You’ve put on a bit of timber since we last met, and they do say you are what you eat. Well, you must eat woman beating pieces of shit ‘cos that’s exactly what you are.” The crowd erupted into jeers and angry catcalls.

  I’d done that.

  I’d shown everyone who didn’t already know what he was really like.

  I pointed around the crowd and then turned to face Kendall, still pointing but giving him my last smirk of the night before I fell into my zoned-out, crazy motherfucker, fighting mode.

  “I’m Brandon fucking Mathers, and that means something around here. Can you smell that?” I sniffed for dramatic effect. “That’s the smell of your own fucking fear.”

  He shook his head and spat on the floor. This little shit was more disrespectful than I thought.

  “Come on then. I’ll let you have the first punch,” I said, tapping my chin. “But after that, it’s your fucking funeral.”

  The boos and shouts I heard didn’t faze me. I knew what I’d said was controversial, considering what’d happened at my last fight, but I wasn’t gonna give anyone the impression that that had affected me. I needed to show them I was still the hardened bastard they thought I was. No fear, no mercy. Get the job done and give the people what they came to see. Me, doing what I did best.

  The ref gave us the run-down of the rules and wished us both good luck for the fight. I didn’t need luck. I had talent and determination on my side.

  I kept my promise. I let him hit me and I braced myself as I took that blow. It was fucking hard, and he caught my ribs good and proper, but I righted myself soon enough and went in on him, raining blow after blow like he was my own personal punching bag. Kendall leant against the hay bales holding his sides as the ref separated us and checked he was okay. If he was floundering already, this was going to be easier than I thought.

  I stood firm in the middle, with my fists up to protect my face, and my muscles clenched, ready to attack. Kendall stepped forward, ready to restart the fight, and a few of the crowd shouted our names in encouragement. My eyes were on him though, reading his thoughts, working out his next move. I liked to think I was a clever fighter. I tried to outmanoeuvre my opponent in speed, strength and skill. Anyone can throw punches, but me, I threw tactical moves with my hits, and that took focus and ability. A fucking God-given gift, that’s what I had.

  I smiled and beckoned him on with my left hand. I knew the crowd would love that. It
was all part of the show. He smirked back at me and just as I was about to duck his left-hook I saw something out of the corner of my eye that took the breath right out of my body and totally pulled my concentration from the fight.

  She’s here.

  It was her long blonde hair that I saw first, then the way she was clenching her hands in front of her face and biting her nails. Her eyes were wide, scared even, and she was looking straight at me like she might keel over at any second.

  My little warrior.

  And then I felt it. The thud as his fist connected with my head. My whole body shuddered as I felt the dazed confusion from the force of the punch that hit me. Any boxer will tell you that a blow to the head is the worst. And I’d just done something I’d never done in all the years I’d been fighting. I’d lost my concentration and let the other guy get the better of me.

  The crowd started to shout as I staggered to the edge of the ring. I looked up to where she’d been standing, but she was gone. I couldn’t see her anywhere. I suddenly felt desperate. I had to get out of there, but I also needed to win this fight. I wasn’t about to go down for the first time ever on my comeback appearance.

  I shook my head to right myself, pictured Lockwood and Yates in that bathroom back in school, and I got my fucking shit together.

  “Are you okay to carry on?” the ref asked me.

  I nodded and stalked over to Kendall, threw my fist back, and smacked him in the face. He hadn’t expected me to come back at him so hard, and he did a crap job of protecting himself. I gave him a few more steady left and right hooks and he was down and out for the count before I could come up for breath. The ref came over to hold my arm up and declare me the winner, but I couldn’t bask in this glory, not after she’d left like that.

  Fuck.

  Had she heard me say it was his funeral?

  I’d really fucked up. She was never going to forgive me after this. There I was being hailed as a champion and I felt like the biggest loser. There was no golden wave of glory radiating through me. No rush of adrenaline making me want to punch the air. All I felt was shame. Shame and worry.