Tortured Souls (Rebels of Sandland Book 2)

by Nikki J Summers

  I didn’t think I was being dishonest. I didn’t need to answer to anyone. I’d always been my own man. I made my own decisions.

  “It’s just boxing. It’s what I do.”

  “But it’s not just boxing to her. It’s what destroyed her life. She won’t take it well if she hears it from someone else. Don’t you think she should have a choice on whether she gets thrown back into that world again?”

  If she chose to be with me, and I really fucking hoped she did, then surely she’d already made that choice? I frowned, trying to get my head around the way Ryan was thinking, but I was struggling.

  “I am that world,” I stated plainly.

  Everyone in Sandland knew what I was. And if I was honest, when I came to discuss Pat’s offer, it was because I wanted Ry to tell me it’d be the best thing to ever happen to me. That I was going places. I didn’t expect him to throw more spanners into the works. He really wasn’t helping.

  “But are you? Really? The world Pat lives in and the one we created are two completely different things.”

  “He told me it wouldn’t affect our business,” I argued, feeling my shoulders tense up as I folded my arms.

  “And you believed him? You really think he’ll invest time and money into you to sit back and watch you piss it all down the drain by fighting some chancer from a council estate?”

  “I don’t lose.”

  Ryan was skating on thin ice now.

  “You might lose her if you carry on being an asshole about this.” Ryan gave a low, frustrated sigh. “I’ll say one thing though, life is never boring with you around.”

  Emily chose that exact moment to walk in, and the tense atmosphere became slightly more bearable.

  “Boring is not a word I’d use to describe Brandon,” she said, after hearing only half of what Ryan had said.

  “It’s all fun and games with me around, Winters.” I gave her a wink and sat my ass down. With Emily, I could spin the conversation towards something else which was bugging me.

  “Hey, Em. You’re a chick.”

  She laughed and rolled her eyes at me. “Yep. Last time I looked I was a… chick. Although we prefer other terms, like girl, woman, female-”

  “Yeah, whatever.” I rubbed my hands together, trying to think how best to word this. “What sort of things should I do if I wanted to be… I dunno… romantic and shit?”

  “Romantic and shit?” She shook her head, looking at me like I’d spoken a foreign language.

  “I wanna do something nice. You’re a girl. You know what girls like.”

  “I’m assuming this is for Harper?”

  My face grew hot hearing her name. Emily glanced at Ryan and then smiled, cuddling into his side.

  “Flowers are always lovely. Ryan bought me peonies on one of our first… times together.” She started blushing.

  “Errr, no. Flowers are a definite no.” I tensed, remembering the last bunch of flowers I sent to Harper. I think I’d well and truly pissed all over the flower giving where she was concerned. “And what the hell is a peony?” I added, frowning. “Dude, you need to take control of your balls from time to time. She’s turning you into a pussy.”

  “I am not!” She snapped then huffed and wrapped her arms around Ryan as she rubbed against him like a little kitten. “What about a picnic? Ryan had Connor make up a picnic basket for us on our first date. We didn’t eat much of it, but it was really romantic. I bet if you asked Connor, he’d do one for you.”

  “Do I look like a picnic kind of guy to you?”

  “Do I?” Ryan answered, challenging me. “On second thoughts, don’t answer that.”

  Emily sighed, rubbing her hand over Ryan’s stomach, and I could tell I probably had about three minutes left before he kicked me out.

  “Ryan buys me chocolates. Last week, when it was my time of the month-”

  I held my hand up. “Yeah, I think that’s a bit too much information, Em.” I said, grimacing.

  “What? It was sweet. I was in pain and he did something thoughtful. He’s always thoughtful.” She peered up at him, and from the heated stare he gave her, I knew the minutes counting down my departure were now seconds.

  “Chocolate. Great. I’ll do that,” I said, standing up to leave. Neither one of them made any effort to get up or see me to the door, and when Ryan threaded his hand into the back of her hair and pulled her to him for a kiss, I knew my time was up. “I’ll see myself out,” I shouted as I banged the door closed. But once I was stood outside, I smiled.

  I wanted that.

  To be so consumed by another person and for them to be totally and utterly lost in me, that the rest of the world just falls away.

  I wanted that with her.

  So maybe I needed to start taking other people’s advice. I needed to tell her about Pat, and I had to make the effort to be what she needed me to be. I had to try harder.

  I was trying to keep myself busy and steer my mind away from a certain bad boy who was dominating my thoughts recently, so I decided to bake some cookies. Who I was baking them for, I had no idea. Mum and Dad had gone away for the night to some spa retreat. Dad thought a facial and massage would help bring Mum back from the zombie state she was living in. I suppose I shouldn’t have mocked him for making the effort. It was a nice gesture. But it left me alone with nothing but my thoughts and a mountain of chocolate chip cookies that would probably go to waste. I’d even decided to wear one of my summer dresses too. I was channelling the fifties housewife vibes pretty damn well.

  I was just contemplating boxing some cookies up to take to the neighbours when I heard a knock at the front door. I wiped my hands clean on my apron, took it off, and wandered down the corridor to find out who it was. When I opened the door, I was surprised to find Brandon standing in front of me with a confused look on his face, holding up a carrier bag.

  “I bought you these,” he said, shoving the bag forward for me to take and walking past me into the house. “It smells fucking awesome in here. What are you cooking?”

  I frowned and shut the door. I couldn’t remember inviting him in, but then, I guessed Brandon never waited for an invite. If he wanted something, he went for it.

  “I was baking cookies. Not sure why though. My Mum and Dad are away.”

  Brandon’s eyes lit up like I’d told him they were liquid gold and he grabbed one off the cooling rack and ate it, even though it was probably still hot and would scald his mouth.

  “I always knew you were my ideal woman. Baking cookies and waiting for me to show up.” He winked like it was some inside joke and I stared back at him blankly.

  He grabbed another one, as the first obviously didn’t touch the sides, and I placed the carrier bag on the kitchen work surface and opened it up to see what he’d bought for me. I frowned even harder when I saw a pile of chocolate bars. There must’ve been every Cadbury bar ever made in there. Why was he bringing me a mountain of chocolate?

  “I don’t get it?” I asked, feeling confused. “Is this a joke I don’t know about? Or are you trying to give me diabetes?” I was surely missing something here.

  “I wanted to do something nice for you,” he said, like it was the simplest thing in the world. “I didn’t know what to get you though, and Emily told me Ryan buys her chocolate when it’s her… you know… time of the month and all that. She said it’s romantic.” He shrugged, taking another bite of his cookie. “I figured flowers were a no-go, so I went with the chocolate.”

  I couldn’t stop myself from laughing. Not in an unkind way. It really was sweet, but he was totally clueless. So clueless it was actually endearing.

  “What’s so funny?” he asked, laughing along with me through his mouthful of cookie.

  “You. I don’t think this is what Emily meant when she said to buy chocolate. It’s really sweet that you wanted to do that though,” I added after seeing the way his face dropped.

  “I’m trying to be different. I wanted to do something that wasn’t the usual crappy
Brandon effort.” It made my heart hurt to hear him talk like that about himself.

  “Nothing you do is crappy, Brandon. Please don’t say that. And don’t think you have to do anything special for me either. I’m the least high maintenance girl you’ll ever meet.”

  “That’s probably a good thing then.”

  I knew what he meant. He thought if my standards were low then he’d have more chance of living up to them. I was starting to be able to read him a little more clearly and it surprised me how low his self-esteem was.

  “I like you, Brandon, just the way you are. I don’t need you to change or try to be something you’re not around me. I’ve had a lifetime of fake people and lies. One of the things I love about you is your honesty. There’s no bullshit where you’re concerned.” I took a breath and watched as his eyes widened. Had I said too much? “Please don’t change. I know exactly what I’m getting into here, with you. I know who you are.”

  He nodded and a small grin appeared on his ruggedly handsome face. I liked his cheeky grins.

  “I’m a fighter. I always will be.” He lifted his chin, trying to look tough, but after wolfing down half a batch of cookies and standing in my kitchen with twenty or more chocolate bars in his bag, I knew he was anything but.

  “Yep. Yes, you are,” I said. He liked that, I could tell, because his grin grew wider.

  “And I’ll fight for you too.” He took a step closer to me and I stood my ground. I could feel the atmosphere in the room becoming heated… electric.

  “I know you will.”

  “So, no more chocolate?” He nodded down to the bag and I gave a low, throaty chuckle.

  “I love chocolate. But you don’t have to buy up the whole shop. And I’m not on my period, so-” I raised my eyebrows at him, and he took another step towards me.

  “That’s good to know.” I watched as his gaze travelled over my face, lingering on my lips, and then he looked me in the eyes. “No parents today?” He cocked his head to the side and bit his lip.

  “No. They’re away for the night. They-” I didn’t get chance to finish my sentence because he crashed his lips to mine and kissed me hard and forcefully. His hands cupped my face and held me in place as he took what he wanted. What we both wanted.

  I groaned into the kiss and he pushed his hips forward, trapping me against the kitchen counter. I put my arms around his neck and pulled him into me further, not that that was possible. We were already plastered together. I scraped my nails across the back of his head through his hair and he moaned, moving his hands down to wrap around my waist and then grab my ass.

  I loved the way he kissed me, like he’d die if he didn’t get close enough. Like I was the air he needed to breathe. He tasted sweet, like cookies and forbidden promises that we’d whispered to each other in the darkness of our bedrooms once upon a time. I’d never felt so lost in another person as I did in him. The way his lips moved against mine made me ache with want. The way our tongues tangled made the nerves spark to life inside me. I was so ridiculously turned on, so needy and horny, and I needed to move this upstairs, because my kitchen was the last place I wanted to do all the things I had planned with Brandon.

  I pulled away and my heart fluttered when I saw how cute he looked with his eyes closed. His breath shallow and his mouth ready for more.

  “We need to take this upstairs,” I whispered into his ear.

  “I don’t need a bed. A wall or a table will do.” He opened his eyes and grinned that wicked grin at me again.

  “I’m sure it will, but we’re doing things different, remember.” I slid out of his grasp and sauntered over to the door. “Are you coming? Or are you gonna stay down here and eat the rest of the cookies?”

  He gave a low, raspy chuckle.

  “I think you’ll taste even sweeter than those cookies.”

  The stare he gave me made me clench my thighs together. I remembered what we’d said in our sex chat online that night. I knew what he’d promised to do. Question was, could he live up to his promises?

  I walked up the stairs and couldn’t keep the smile off my face as I heard him bounding up behind me, taking the steps two at a time.

  “Someone’s eager.” I laughed.

  “You have no fucking idea,” he growled.

  He spun me round just as I opened the door to my bedroom, smashing his lips back onto mine and walking us backward into the room.

  He kicked the door closed, and as the backs of my knees connected with my bed, I stumbled and dropped my ass onto the mattress.

  “Do you remember what you said to me? What you typed, telling me all the things you’d do if you were ever in my room?” I asked, looking up at him through my lashes as he stood towering over me.

  “Sweetheart, I’ve replayed that fantasy over and over in my head at least a hundred times since then. And every time, it just gets better and better.”

  He brushed his knuckles lightly against my jaw and then tucked the stray hairs behind my ear. I tried to keep my breathing steady, but my heart was racing and all I could focus on was how he was making me feel, standing there looking at me that way. Touching me like I was made of glass, but he was so ready to shatter me. He was going to enjoy it. Brandon wasn’t here to play gentle; he was here to claim what was his.

  He turned around and clicked the lock on my door shut.

  “I told you I always take precautions,” he said, turning slowly back around to face me, and letting his eyes wander over my body, so seductively that I could almost feel his stare caressing my skin. Dancing over me and making me pant a little harder.

  “I should hope so,” I replied, not knowing how else to answer. My brain had checked out and my hormones were in the driving seat. “Come on then. Show me what you’ve got.”

  Fuck, where did this Harper come from? I don’t think I’d ever been so sexually confident with a man before.

  Brandon stood still, watching me as I lay there. He wasn’t charging forward like I thought he would. No. He was studying me. He obviously had a lot more self-control than I did.

  “What are you waiting for?” I asked, leaning back onto the bed and scooching a little further up so I was lying ready for him.

  “I’m watching you. I said I would.”

  He took a few steps forward until he was standing over me again, and then he ran his fingers lightly up my calf and further up to brush my thighs. “Your skin’s so soft, so flawless. I like the way you shiver when I touch you like this.”

  I liked it too.

  I wanted to hold my breath just so I could concentrate on that one sensation he was creating without anything else interrupting how awesome it felt to be touched by him. How amazing it was to be warmed by his delicate, feathered touches, as soft as a butterfly’s wings. I closed my eyes so every single focus, every sense was his to own. Nothing else mattered but what he was doing.

  “You look so pretty like this, lying here with your eyes closed. Waiting for me. So fucking beautiful.”

  I gasped, but I kept my eyes closed. I liked letting go like this. I wanted to give up control. After being guarded for so long, I wanted to feel free.

  The mattress dipped as he climbed on, and I felt the scratch of the coarse material of his jeans against my legs as he crawled over me. He held himself up with his strong arms, and I kept my eyes closed as his breath fanned across my face.

  “Look at me, Harper. Let me see what you’re thinking,” he whispered, warm and low.

  I slowly opened my eyes and looked up at him. The depth of feeling I saw in him in that moment made me sigh and reach up to caress his face. He was so beautiful. So complex and complicated, but I wanted to work him out. I wanted to know what made him tick. I wanted to know everything.

  “Are you sure about this?” he asked, begging me with the fire in his eyes to say yes.

  How could I ever say no to him?

  This broken man was mine.

  I was his.

  We weren’t perfect, but together we ma
de perfect sense. To me, anyway.

  “You are the one thing I am sure about.” His eyes softened as I spoke. “I have absolutely no clue what’s going on with my life. Most days I wake up not knowing how I’ll cope throughout the day. But you… You I get. I want you, Brandon. I want this.”

  He leant down to nuzzle into my neck, and I tilted my head for him.

  “You never have to feel alone, Harper. You’ve always got me. I’ll always be here. I’m here for you.”

  He kissed me gently on my neck, nibbling around my ear and I closed my eyes again. I didn’t realise I was gasping and moaning until I felt him lift his head.

  “Those noises you make, they’re such a fucking turn-on,” he said, and then he covered my body with his and his hand grabbed the back of my head, pulling me into a fierce and brutal kiss.

  He moaned loudly as he slipped his tongue over mine, his hips grinding into me, showing me exactly how hard he was and how much he wanted this too. Desperate, I clung to him with my hands around his shoulders like he was my lifeline.

  I opened my legs and started to wrap them around his waist, but he chuckled and pulled away from our kiss. “Remember what I said about me knowing what you need?”

  I nodded.

  “Trust me, little warrior. I’ve got you.” He brushed the back of his hand over my cheek and then he smiled. “I’ve always got you.”

  He grabbed my leg from around his waist and pulled it off, then sat up. He gave me a brief glance, just to make sure I was okay with everything he was doing, then he lifted the skirt of my dress slowly like he was unwrapping a present. Once my dress was up around my waist, he took a deep breath and hooked his fingers into the sides of my knickers and gently pulled them down my legs. My breathing hitched as I felt how wet I was for him, and how the simple act of him doing this was making me tingle and pant in need.

  He dropped my knickers to the floor, never taking his eyes off me, then he pushed my legs open. When he saw me, really saw me for the first time, I swear I heard a growl at the back of his throat.