How It All Blew Up
Page 18
This book is me tearing down that wall and pulling up the curtains. How It All Blew Up is the kind of story I have always been afraid to write, but after a life-changing summer experience, it was the only story that I could write.
So many times, when I tell someone I’m gay, their first question is, “What do your parents think?” It’s a question I know for a fact they’re not asking their white gay friends. It’s the whole contradiction of my existence. But that’s why I needed to write this story: because yes, there are parts about being a gay Muslim that just plain suck, but they exist right next to the joys of discovering your identity.
I like to call this book a “Trojan Horse” of diversity. On the surface, it complies with the narratives you expect from gay people and Muslim people. It is a dramatic coming-out story. There is even a Muslim family in an interrogation room. But beneath the surface, it’s a different narrative: a Muslim family defying the stereotype and proving that they love their son. And a gay boy living his best life in Rome.
I understand that every book is personal, but let’s be real: How It All Blew Up is my most personal book.
Much love, Arvin Ahmadi
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
This book was partly inspired by the time I spent in Rome in the summer of 2018. Much like Amir, I had no idea when I landed that I would meet people who would change my life and become a special kind of family to me, if only for a short summer. Thank you to those people. You know who you are.
Thank you to my agent, Brooks Sherman, for caring about this book like it was your own baby. I know you have an actual baby now and he’s absolutely adorable, but this book is pretty cute too, and that’s all thanks to you.
To Roma Panganiban and everyone at Janklow & Nesbit, the best agency fam.
To Ken Wright, brave captain of the Viking ship, and the muscle behind all my books. To Kendra Levin, for your early support. To Maggie Rosenthal for truly bringing this book into the world. To Nancy Hinkel—petunia! Uranium! To Kaitlin Kneafsey for getting the word out like a pro. To Felicity Vallence, James Akinaka, Shannon Spann, Jen Loja, Maggie Edkins, Claire Tattersfield, Aneeka Kalia, and everyone at Penguin Young Readers, from the copy and production editors to all the incredible folks in marketing, sales, and school and library.
To the amazing team at Hot Key for their work on the UK edition, especially Emma Matthewson, Carla Hutchinson, and Lizz Skelly.
To Hellie Ogden, Emma Winter, Zoë Nelson, Ellis Hazelgrove, and Maimy Suleiman for your foreign rights wizardry.
To Adam Silvera, for listening to me babble for an hour on your rooftop about an idea for a story that I had to write. To Gayle Forman for a much-needed pep talk. To Lauryn Chamberlain for reading everything I write. To Nicole Bleuel for helping me gather my thoughts. To Patrice Caldwell for the “Has anyone actually read it yet?” moments. To Angie Thomas, Becky Albertalli, Adib Khorram, and Sara Farizan for your amazing blurbs. To all my friends for your support, especially my writing friends: Laura Sebastian, Mark Oshiro, Emily X.R. Pan, Cristina Arreola, Jeremy West, Jeffrey West, MJ Franklin, Dhonielle Clayton, Zoraida Córdova, and many more I’m sure I missed.
To Calvin Stowell for helping me get the Trevor Project scene right.
To the Trevor Project, for being such an important resource for queer teens. If you are a queer person struggling with suicidal thoughts or just want someone to talk to, please call the Trevor Lifeline at 1-866-488-7386.
To my readers: I feel honored and lucky to be able to write books for you. Stay different. Stay weird. And keep looking for your people—I promise it’s worth the wait.
To all the librarians, teachers, and booksellers for doing the real work.
Finally, to Maman, Baba, Neeki, Arman, and Nava for filling my well with a lifetime of memories, support, and love.
ARVIN AHMADI
Arvin Ahmadi is the author of two previous critically-acclaimed novels, Down and Across (2018) and Girl Gone Viral (2019). He grew up outside Washington DC, graduated from Columbia University, and worked in the tech industry prior to becoming a full-time writer. When he’s not reading or writing books, he can be found watching late-night talk-show interviews and editing Wikipedia pages. He lives in New York City.
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First published in Great Britain in 2020 by
HOT KEY BOOKS
An imprint of Bonnier Books UK
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Copyright © Arvin Ahmadi, 2020
All rights reserved.
No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying or otherwise, without the prior written permission of the publisher.
The right of Arvin Ahmadi to be identified as author of this work has been asserted by them in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988
This is a work of fiction. Names, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.
A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.
ISBN: 978-1-4714-0993-6
Also available in audio
Hot Key Books is an imprint of Bonnier Books UK
www.bonnierbooks.co.uk