Mistletoe Kisses

by Anna B. Doe

  “Thanks,” I choke out, her words being something I apparently really needed to hear.

  Despite loving Dani more than I knew it was possible to love someone, and knowing I’ll never walk away from her again, I’ve always carried guilt for our origins. I don’t regret it, because it’s led us to here, but it has gnawed at me at times.

  “You saved her,” Sasha adds, reaching up to adjust the beanie on her head, her long blonde hair blowing around her shoulders.

  I stop walking, watching Dani ahead as she tosses her head back and laughs before dropping from her brother’s back.

  “No,” I say confidently, “she saved herself.”

  After over an hour of sledding we find ourselves down the street at a little restaurant, warming up and getting a late lunch. Dani and I sit on one side of the booth with Sage and Sasha on the other. A pile of fries already rests on the table between the four of us.

  Dani grabs a fry, munching on the end of it. “I’m starving.”

  “Me too.” Sasha mumbles from behind a menu.

  Sage picks up his coffee, looking out the window beside the booth. Snow flurries swirl around, promising a fresh dusting. The tension in his shoulders is visible, but I commend him for being civil. I know Dani wishes he was more civil, but I think we’ve made great strides. She wants Sage and I to be best friends. I’m not sure that’ll ever be possible, and I understand, but at least he doesn’t completely hate me anymore—at least not in a way where his eyes scream murder any time I’m in a room with him.

  The waitress stops by for our order, derailing me from my thoughts. I order a grilled chicken sandwich, while Dani opts for a BLT, and both Sage and Sasha order burgers.

  Dani swipes another fry. “Aren’t you going to have any?” She elbows me playfully. Addressing the other two, she adds, “If you guys don’t hurry up I’ll have eaten all of these and still won’t feel guilty eating my meal.”

  Sasha laughs, taking a fry and dipping it in ketchup. “They have been taunting me.” She chews her fry and reaches for her water glass. “Do you guys have any special Christmas day plans?”

  “No.” Dani shakes her head. “Just hanging out like usual.”

  “You guys should come over for dinner,” I pipe in. I don’t know why the thought didn’t occur to me before. Normally I’m a better planner than this.

  Sage’s lips quirk. “You offering to cook for me Lach-ness? How adorable. Ow!”

  At his exclamation I know Dani has kicked him under the table.

  I smile at her brother, suppressing a laugh. “Anything for you snook-ums.”

  Sasha chokes on a fry, hacking so hard that Sage beats her back. “Should I do the Heimlich?”

  “I’m fine,” she gasps, gulping down some water. “That was hilarious though. Mind if I call you snook-ums from now on?”

  “Absolutely not,” he scoffs, but I can tell he’s trying not to laugh now that he knows she’s okay. Looking at me across the table he says, “If you’re cooking, I’m in. It’s not like I can cook worth a shit.”

  “I’m finally getting good at it,” Dani says proudly, beaming up at me. “I made breakfast this morning.”

  Sage eyes her skeptically. “And it was … good?”

  She swats at him in agitation, but he easily dodges her reach.

  “Are you two ever going to grow up?” Sasha asks, picking up her glass of soda.

  “No,” both siblings answer simultaneously.

  It’s been nice watching them fall back into a more normal sibling routine and relationship. For a while there Dani felt like a burden on her brother, since suddenly he was having to take on the parent role.

  The waitress appears with a tray full of our food and the two of them call a truce all in the name of hunger.

  Since I’m starving, I’m more than grateful for the ceasefire.

  Dani smiles up at me, love shining in her eyes.

  I know Sage might never approve me one hundred percent, but as long as she keeps looking at me like that, that’s all that matters.

  Chapter Three

  A few days later I crack my eyes open, finding the bed empty beside me and the alarm clock on the table flashing that it’s barely after four in the morning.

  Reaching over, I feel the coolness of the covers and know that Dani’s been out of the bed for a while. Wherever she is Tally hasn’t followed since the giant Maine Coon sleeps peacefully where Dani’s feet would normally be. Even Zeppelin is snoozing away on his massive cushion across the room.

  With a groan I sit up, the blankets pooling at my waist, and rub the sleep from my eyes.

  Stifling a yawn, I climb from the bed and grab a sweatshirt, tugging it down my bare torso.

  As soon as I get to the bottom of the stairs I find Dani curled on the couch, a mug of something—probably coffee—clasped between her palms, staring out the window. She doesn’t hear me approach, and since I don’t want to startle her too much, I call out a soft, “Hey.”

  She looks over with a closed mouth smile, unable to hide the sadness from her eyes.

  Crossing the distance, I sit behind her on the couch, wrapping my arms around her and kissing the crook of her neck. She releases a content sigh at my touch.

  “What’s wrong?” I murmur as her body sinks further into mine. She gives a shrug and a noise that I take it to mean I don’t know. “Talk to me,” I plead.

  “Just a little sad I guess.” She traces her finger over my wrist bone. “It’s my third Christmas without my mom—fourth,” she hastily corrects herself, letting out a self-deprecating laugh. “Four years,” she repeats. “I barely remember the first Christmas, I was still so out of it from pain meds and everything going on that I didn’t really notice. Isn’t that horrible?”

  “It’s not horrible. Your whole life changed. You were in the hospital, coping as best you could while navigating uncharted waters.”

  A lone tear snakes down her cheek. Neither she nor I make a move to wipe it away. More quickly follow.

  “I don’t know why I’m crying,” she says a minute later, her cheeks damp.

  “Because you need to.”

  “She’s never coming back and it sucks.”

  “I’m so sorry.” I kiss her cheek.

  Grief is a horrible thing. It never truly goes away and in vulnerable moments, like now for her, it catches up with you.

  Dani tilts her head back to look at me. “She’ll never see us get married or have babies.”

  My throat gets tight. “You’re going to marry me one day? Have my babies?”

  She smiles, reaching up to smooth her hand over my jaw. “Absolutely.”

  We’ve talked in the last few months about the future, but hearing her say again that she wants to marry me, make a family together, is the best Christmas present she could ever give me and it’s not even Christmas day yet.

  “Did I wake you?” She eventually asks.

  “Nah.” I shake my head, my chin brushing back and forth over the top of her head. “I woke up on my own and noticed you weren’t in bed.”

  She leans over, setting her mug on the coffee table. “And you came to find me,” she surmises. “You’re always my knight in shining armor.”

  I let out a gruff laugh. “I try to be.” She settles her body back against mine. “What do you need?”

  I want to let her have her moment. To think about her mom, the past, the trauma. It’s better than when she was trying to suppress it.

  “You,” she whispers, pulling my arms tighter around her. “Just you, here holding me.”

  “That’s enough?” I ask in surprise.

  “It’s everything.”

  I feel the truth ringing in her words. Sometimes all we need is someone we love to hold us close and remind us that despite the chaos in the world we’re not alone.

  “Tally, no!” Dani scolds the young cat for once again playing with the Christmas tree, her tiny paw batting at a silver ornament.

  I lift my eyes from the book I’m read
ing. “She’s a cat, it’s what they do.”

  Dani looks at me over her shoulder, her hazel eyes clear and shining. There’s no trace left of her crying episode early this morning.

  “But Tally is well-behaved. She’s better than this.”

  I chuckle in amusement. “Good luck getting her not to mess with it.”

  “No!” She scoops up Tally into her arms. “No,” she repeats. “That’s the Christmas tree. Be nice to it so Santa Paws will bring you presents.”

  I disguise my laugh with a cough. Amazon packages have been showing up to my house for days and my gut tells me they’re not filled with things for me, but the cat and dog instead. I wouldn’t expect any less from Dani, of course she’d spoil them.

  “I need to go to the grocery store today.” I’ve been making a list of everything I need to get for the meal I’m making for Christmas day.

  “I’ll come too,” she volunteers. “Could we get some ingredients for cookies? Ooh! Or maybe a pie? If you’re willing to teach me.” She smiles sheepishly, tucking her bottom lip between her teeth.

  I set my book aside. “How about a cake? I’ve never made a pie, and I leave cookies to my mom. I always burn them.” I’m a far better cook than I am a baker. Baking is far more technical and I usually mess at least one step up, but cakes I can handle.

  Dani nods eagerly. “Cake sounds good.”

  A couple hours later, Dani and I walk up and down the aisles of the local grocery store, located a convenient ten minutes from my house.

  I toss ingredients inside the cart as she walks along beside me, humming softly under her breath. Christmas music plays over the speakers, someone singing about having a holly jolly time. But most of the shoppers look like they’re feeling the furthest thing from holly or jolly. The majority look stressed and harried as they bustle about the store.

  “What else do we need?” Her words cut into my thoughts.

  Looking down at the handwritten list I made I name of the items, hoping that they’re not sold out with it only being days before Christmas. So far we’ve lucked out.

  Normally I wouldn’t leave grocery shopping for a meal like this so close to the event, but I got busy and let time slip away.

  Once we have the last few items on the list, thankfully in stock, we head to the checkout. The lines are massively long and the cashiers look exhausted.

  “I’m going to grab a coffee and be right back. Do you want anything?” Dani nods to the café at the front of the store.

  “Get a coffee for me too.”

  I start to pull my wallet out and she waves me off.

  “I’ve got this.”

  Before I can retort she’s already walking away. I shake my head, fighting a smile.

  I love that girl. For so many reasons and I swear I discover even more every day.

  The line moves up gradually and by the time Dani returns with two lattes in hand I only have two more people in front of me.

  Walking out of the store, the snow we walked in with has now turned into a mix of snow and rain.

  “Ugh, I hate this wintry mix,” she complains as I unlock my car, popping the trunk open. “It makes the roads so unsafe.”

  “You’re only complaining because the last time it did this you ate shit walking to the mailbox.”

  She glares at me. “I thought we said we were never going to mention that ever again.”

  I throw my head back with laughter, reaching for one of the paper bags filled with goods. “You threatened me if I ever brought it up, but I didn’t promise a thing.”

  She makes a tiny growling sound that shouldn’t be as adorable as it is.

  “I’m getting in the car. You’re on your own now.”

  I chuckle in amusement as her as she slips inside the car with the coffees and I finish loading.

  Heading across the parking lot I return the cart to one of the various stalls before turning around to walk back.

  That’s when my feet go out from under me on the slippery asphalt.

  My arms windmill at my sides but it does no good. I’m down on my ass in the middle of the parking lot.

  Looking up, I spot Dani sitting in the passenger seat of the car laughing her ass off. I can’t help but laugh too at the irony of it. With a groan, I gather myself to my feet, dusting the wet snow off my coat.

  Sliding behind the wheel of the driver’s side, I slowly turn my head to look at Dani.

  “If you don’t speak of this, I’ll never breathe a word about the mailbox incident.”

  She raises a brow. “Pinky promise?”

  She juts her pinky out to me and I wrap mine around it. “Pinky promise.” Letting our fingers drop, a little smirk tilts her lips. “Don’t worry, when we get home I’ll kiss it and make it better.”

  Chapter Four

  I blink my eyes open to find Dani rolled over in bed, head propped in her hand, staring at me.

  “Mornin’,” I croak, my voice thick with sleep.

  “It’s Christmas Eve,” she whispers conspiratorially, her nose crinkling with excitement.

  “Is it now?” I groan out, looking at the time on the clock. “Why are you up early?”

  “I was baking.”

  Even though there’s nothing wrong with her getting up early and baking if that’s what she wants to do, I see the darkening in her hazel gaze and know she’s probably been up for hours dwelling on things. I wish I’d known. I would’ve gotten up with her, talked to her, but something tells me she wanted time on her own to sort through her thoughts.

  “What’d you make?” I ask and she smiles at the reprieve, knowing there’s no way I haven’t puzzled things out.

  “You had a couple of those boxes of muffin mix. I burnt the first batch,” she admits, her teeth digging into her bottom lip. “I was … distracted.” She looks away, toward the curtains closed over the window overlooking the backyard. “But the second and third turned out great. There’s chocolate chip and blueberry to choose from.”

  “Bake anything else?” I raise a brow. I have a feeling she’s been up long enough to make a lot more than that.

  “No,” she insists. “I’m not at the bake from scratch stage yet. I can barely handle the box kind, as evidenced by the burnt lemon poppyseed muffins in the trash.”

  I chuckle, shaking my head. Reaching for her I place my hand on her cheek, threading my fingers in her hair. “Are you okay?”

  Her eyes fall to my chest and she smooths her fingers over the dusting of dark hair sprinkled there. “I’m okay. Not great, but okay.” I’m glad she’s being honest. Without my prompting she adds, “I think it’s hitting me harder this year, because I’m settled. Does that make sense? The first year I was stuck in a hospital. The next, I was…” Her cheeks pinken. “Wrapped up in my feelings for you,” she finishes with a soft laugh. “Last year I was in Paris. Now, I’m … I’m home.”

  “Home, huh?” I try not to smile too big, but it makes me so happy to hear her refer to this place, to me, as home.

  “About that?” She sits up fully, pulling away from, and crosses her legs. Her fingers wringing together.

  I sit up too, worried by her nervousness. “What?” I lay my hands over hers, stilling her movements.

  “I’m ready,” she blurts, her eyes meeting mine. “To move in here. I don’t want to renew my lease.”

  “Are you serious?” Surprise overtakes me.

  “Yeah.” She grins, the smile lighting up her face. “I’ve been spending more time here and less at my apartment and when I am there it doesn’t feel right. This place, you,” she emphasizes, “is home.”

  “Yeah?” This time I’m the one grinning.

  “Mhmm,” she hums.

  “Best Christmas ever.”

  I dive for her lips, capturing them in a breath stealing kiss.

  She falls to her back on the bed, my body tumbles over hers. I settle between her thighs and soon her giggles turn to moans.

  I keep eyeing the front door, but luckily Dani has
been oblivious to my odd behavior.

  “Are you coming with the popcorn? It shouldn’t take that long,” she calls from the family room, the opening credits of whatever movie she’s chosen already playing in the background.

  I check my phone for the hundredth time this evening.

  The text that came in ten minutes ago reads, Almost there.

  I blow out a breath. “What drink do you want?”

  “I already have one!”

  Finally there’s a knock on the door.

  “Can you get that?” I ask her, my hands shaking with excitement.

  “Are you expecting a package or something?” Her voice sounds hesitant from the other room. “It’s kind of late.”

  “My mom said she was sending something to come today,” I lie.

  Ever since we finished dinner an hour ago I’ve been waiting for this moment.

  I step into the hall just in time to see Dani open the front door. “Oh my God!” she screams. “Ansel!”

  “Surprise.” Her best friend laughs when she dives into his arms.

  At one time I believed Ansel was the better choice for Dani. I never told her that, it wasn’t my place to push her into the arms of someone else. But I would’ve understood if she chose him over me. I know nothing romantic ever happened between them, but it doesn’t change the fact that at one time he was very much in love with her. In a lot of ways I believe Ansel could have been a better choice. But fate, or whatever you want to believe, always pushed Dani and I back together. Where we belong. Now, I hold no ill will towards the guy and I’m happy Dani has someone like him in her life. I reached out to him, willing to pay for a plane ticket to bring him here for Christmas, knowing it would mean more to Dani than anything else, but he confessed his parents had already bought a ticket, he was just hesitant on coming back. After some coaxing I convinced him that a short visit was what everyone needed and he agreed to keep it a secret.

  “You knew about this!” Dani releases him and turns around to look at me with accusing eyes.