by Jerilee Kaye
Emotions overwhelmed me. After that…night…he kept a good distance from me. I wanted to tell him that it was going to be okay, but I had to remember that it wasn’t me who had a problem with what happened between us. I knew I had to respect his decision and the space he asked for.
I missed him like crazy and I almost regret what I asked him to do for me. I realized that though it was the most amazing night of my life, worth every second of giving up my ‘first time’ for… nothing is worth losing Travis for. If I lost him, it would be like losing my last good memory of Tom. And I can’t give up my one remaining connection with my brother.
I hugged him tightly when he approached us. Even though he was brilliant at disappearing from my life, somehow I knew that he was still there. Still watching me. Still keeping his promises to Tom to keep me safe.
“I missed you,” I couldn't help whispering to him. He gave me a gentle smile.
“I missed you, too,” he said softly, as his arm wrapped around my waist.
I pulled him toward my parents so we could all take a picture…as a family.
“So, am I safe again?” I asked him. When he disappeared, he told me it was because I was in grave danger…of him. I wanted to know things were going to be back to the way they used to be…the way they should be.
He smiled at me gently. “I guess it's safe to say so.” I trusted that he was telling the truth. Because if there was anybody who could take hold of his strong emotions, it was Travis.
I smiled at him brightly again. “It's nice to have you back in my life. It was difficult not having you around.”
He fell silent for a while. Then he reached down and intertwined our fingers. He pulled my hand to his lips and placed a gentle kiss on the back of my hand. “It was hell trying to stay away from you,” he whispered so quietly, I almost didn’t hear his words.
My heart pounded inside my chest, and I knew I was blushing a bright shade of red. I was thankful when we reached our parents. It gave me a chance to let go of his hand, so he could hug both of them before we all posed to take a picture.
Travis chose to go to a university in the same city as me. I was happy about that. At least I would find comfort in the fact that he was close by. That I could run to him when I needed him…and he could run to me so he wouldn’t feel alone.
That…wonderful, amazing night that happened between us was best left forgotten…or at least the memory of it tucked away in a safe, special place…until there was absolute need to call on it.
I aced Mr. Atkins’s art class, and he gave me very high recommendations. At first, I was hesitant. But in the end, I took his advice and chose the fine arts program at Southern Connecticut State University.
I was geared to take over my mother’s gallery someday. I would probably try to exhibit something of my own. I lived in a dorm near the campus. I also joined a dance club. My roommate, Sarah, was a dance major, and I developed a passion for contemporary dance.
I went out on dates once in a while, but nothing really stuck.
I didn’t see Travis regularly. I did receive emails from him, asking me how I was. We would text each other, chat for hours on weekends, as if we hadn’t spoken to each other in years, talking like we were just there side-by-side with each other. It felt nice to know that he was always nearby. Travis and I didn’t need to be together every day to remember how much we meant to each other.
One Saturday, I was hanging out with Sarah at the public pool.
I welcomed the heat of the sun on my skin. It was almost spring break, and we were sitting at one of the poolside tables. I was wearing a yellow two-piece suit.
“Do you ever think about what you will do? I mean…I’m pretty sure I’ll still be unmarried by thirty. I might be dating someone seriously, but I don’t think marriage would already have been an option by then. That age is too young. What if you’ll be in the same situation? What if…by thirty, you’re not yet married, or worse…not even close to finding Mr. Right? Isn’t there a way out of your family’s…crazy tradition?”
I laughed. “I wish it was just a tradition that I could break. But with all the unfortunate coincidences happening to my relatives who broke the rule…I’m scared that it’s actually a curse. But don’t worry—I have a plan,” I replied.
“What? Like…die? Or disown your own family?”
“Relax. I’ve got that sorted out,” I said. “I will be married by the time I’m thirty-one. I won’t be ‘cursed’ or ‘disgraced.’”
“You’re so positive!” She rolled her eyes. “You’re gorgeous, I know. But we both know that these days, finding the right guy requires luck, too. What makes you so sure you will be married by then? You know guys can’t be forced into marriage nowadays.”
I smiled at her. “I’ve got…a backup plan.”
Sarah raised a brow.
“You know, one of those boyfriends who promises to marry you at a certain age if you’re still single by then?”
“A safety guy?”
I nodded. “Yeah. I’ve got one of those.”
“Wow! Good thinking!” She giggled. “And you plan to stay with this guy for the rest of your life?”
I shook my head. “Until I find the one.”
“What if he finds the one ahead of you?”
“I doubt that. You see…you’ve got to find one of those guys who is happy staying a bachelor for life. You tell him he stays married to you on paper only and for purposes of appearance. But he can continue being…a player for all you care. And when the guy for you finally arrives, you can file a divorce, taking nothing from each other and then remaining friends,” I said to her. “Brilliant plan, isn’t it?”
“Yeah.” She smiled at me. “I think…I’m going to get myself one of those…safety guys. But I won’t be as…unrealistic or crazy as you. I’ll set the bar at…thirty-eight. Before menopause.”
I looked away from her and turned to the bar instead. And I went still for a second. It was like I was seeing a ghost all of a sudden. I had to blink a couple of times to make sure that I wasn’t dreaming.
But that familiar blond-streaked black hair was unmistakable. He was looking at me, too. He nodded in acknowledgement, and then I watched him stand up from the bar and make his move toward me.
My knees were shaking. I stood up from my seat. It’d been so long since I’d last seen him. Sure, we got in touch all the time, but seeing him then made me realize just how much I’d missed him.
I smiled at him as he made his way toward me. He gave me a crooked smile that would make any other girl’s heart stop beating. But my own heart was pounding in my chest. I ran toward him, and it was like I was running toward home.
I didn’t hesitate. I threw myself into his arms. He caught me and gave me a tight hug. I closed my eyes and his fresh, masculine scent filled my senses. I closed my eyes and drowned myself in his embrace. I let myself be locked into safety. And I knew there, no one could touch me.
“I missed you,” I whispered to him.
“I can tell,” he whispered against my ear. I wanted him to say he missed me too, but for Travis to say things that gave away a hint of emotion at all was within the range of rare and non-existent.
I gently pulled away from him so I could look into his eyes. “What are you doing here?”
“It’s a public pool, and just in case you’ve forgotten, I go to Yale. We’re in the same vicinity.”
“It didn’t feel like that for the past couple of months,” I protested. “I haven’t seen you in like…” I trailed off, trying to recall the last time I saw Travis.
“I know. Months!” he supplied for me.
I knew Travis wasn’t Thomas, but it was certainly sad not having a sibling around. Thomas was also protective of me. And Travis was doing the job he was supposed to be doing…sometimes even overdoing it. Except for the past few months, when he’d just let me be.
I leaned forward and hugged him again.
“Sorry if you came here to find some girls!�
� I said, giggling. “I missed you—and all this hugging will lessen your chances of hooking up with another girl.”
He laughed. And instead of pulling away, he hugged me tighter. This surprised me. I expected him to push me away.
“I did find a girl,” he said. “She’s gorgeous as hell. I feel sorry for the guys who were thinking of introducing themselves to her. Because now, she’s like putty in my arms.”
I pulled away from him and gave him a playful punch in the shoulder.
He laughed. “You didn’t come here with a date, so I guess it’s safe to buy you a drink.”
I nodded. “But wait, I’m with…” I turned around toward Sarah. I found her chatting with a cute guy, but somehow her attention was divided between me and him. I turned back to Travis. “Never mind. Sure!”
Travis wound an arm around my shoulder again and I put an arm around his waist. He didn’t pull away from me. Instead, he leaned forward and gave me a kiss on the forehead.
We sat at the bar and Travis ordered some drinks for us. “How is school?”
“Wonderful! It’s almost break. Are you going home?”
He shrugged. “Depends on where my father will be.”
“Travis…” I narrowed my eyes at him.
He sighed. “You know he’s a difficult man.”
“You’re not too easy, either,” I argued.
“Wow! That coming from the person who could practically extort anything from me. How difficult could I be?” He rolled his eyes.
“You know you are!” I said, and then I smiled. “And thank you. Because you make it too easy for me to change your mind all the time.”
“I don’t always like it. But you know I find it so hard to say no to you.” He rolled his eyes again. I had to smile at that.
“Let’s go home,” I said—an idea had come to me. “You and Thomas talked about taking a camping trip down at your lake house on your first spring break, right?”
He narrowed his eyes at me. “You know very well that’s not going to happen anymore.”
“Well, you were doing what Thomas was supposed to be doing…protecting me. Let me do what he’s supposed to be doing with you. I’ll go with you instead.”
“One whole week with you? Wow! I’d rather be under the same roof as my father!”
“Lie!” I snorted. I knew that Travis hated nothing more than being in the same room as his father.
“Nevertheless, it’s supposed to be a guy thing, princess,” he said. “We were planning to take a hike in the woods and go camping. You’re…too delicate for that!”
“Of course not! I’m not so fragile, you know.”
“But that’s how I see you. And if you camp with me, I’ll be paranoid about your safety—it will be far too distracting,” he said.
I sighed. “All right. I get your point. I was just…offering.”
“Thanks, but no thanks,” he said. “And I plan to stay as far away from my father as possible.”
“Really, Travis, I do not understand why you hate him so much.”
“We didn’t not see each other for months only to talk about my dad the first time we see each other again, right?”
I laughed. “You gotta talk about him some day, you know.”
He sighed. “I know. But don’t hold your breath. It’s not going to happen this year.”
I smiled at him. “So, what about you? Any girlfriends? Serious relationships?”
He looked at me for a while and then he said, “How can I hope to have a serious relationship? My fate is tied to yours, remember?”
I raised a brow at him.
“I’m good at keeping my promises, cherie. Sure you know that by now. I won’t break my promise to be your safety guy. So, only after you tie the knot with another guy could I even hope to start finding someone I will have heirs with.”
Now I felt guilty. I was keeping Travis from finding his own happiness.
“Travis…” I started.
“Save it,” he cut me off. “I don’t mind. In fact, until you asked me to be your safety guy, I didn’t think I would get married at all.”
“Thanks! That makes me feel loads better,” I said. I took a deep breath and gave him a serious look. “Even if it was just a favor, Travis…I hope you smile a lot at our wedding, okay?”
He was taken aback by what I said. And then, as if something inside him softened, he reached forward and touched his palm to my cheek. “I’m pretty sure it won’t end like that, Brianne. I’m almost sure you will be married to a man who is head-over-heels in love with you…before you’re thirty-one. A lot of guys would be lucky to have you.”
I turned away from him and thought for a while. I sure hoped he was right. I was glad I was safe from my family’s curse, but a bigger part of me wanted the real thing, too. I stared back at Travis’s handsome face, then I raised my glass to him and said, “Toast to that!”
He smiled and touched the bottle of his drink to my glass.
Sarah sent me a text message.
I’ll go ahead. Looks like you’re taken care of! Details! I want every little bit of it!
I smiled. I could just as well have been the luckiest girl within a mile radius. Travis looked a lot hotter than the last time I saw him. He’d grown taller, and his muscles and abs were well-toned. His face matured, but only just a little bit. At first glance, he’d grown colder. But when he looked at me, I could still see the boy who used to pull my hair and make me cry a lot when we were eleven years old.
Looking at his abs, a memory threatened to come to my consciousness, but I immediately shut it out. I was not allowed to do that. I couldn’t allow that memory to taint the way I saw Travis. He was dear to me. He always would be. And I couldn’t allow myself to think of him as something else…even if that night was probably the most romantic night of my life.
“So, do you have plans tonight?” he asked.
I shook my head.
“Let’s have dinner. We have a lot to catch up on.”
“You honestly mean to say you don’t check up on me without my knowledge, Travis Cross?” I teased.
He gave me one hard, guilty look. Then he turned away. “Still, hearing from you is a lot better.”
My eyes widened. I was just joking. I couldn’t actually believe that I was right. “I don’t believe this!” I glared at him. “Travis James Cross!”
He raised a brow. “I told you I’m good at keeping promises. I had to make sure you’re safe…all the time.”
He stood up and paid our bill. He waved at the waiter and then he took my hand in his. I refused to budge.
“So, just exactly how do you do that? Do you station bodyguards around me? Undercover agents?”
He narrowed his eyes. “Don’t be silly.”
“Then how? How do you check up on me without asking me…without me knowing you are?”
He sighed. “Let’s just say that the head of security at your university and your dorm are good friends of mine now. I just told them to keep a special eye on you, make sure you’re safe, and to call me if something seems just a little bit off.” He held his hand out and motioned for me to walk ahead of him.
I walked toward the locker rooms and then turned to him. “I’m going into the locker room. Do you have security cameras all over the place as well?”
He raised his face toward the sky. “Oh, God! You’re still the same difficult…complicated girl!”
“And you’re still the same paranoid guy! Why?”
“Because…” he trailed off.
“Because you’re good at keeping your promises?”
He took a deep breath. “That. And some other things.”
“Like what?” I continued glaring at him.
He sighed in defeat. “Because I don’t want to lose what’s left of what I love.”
I was taken aback. I stared back at him. He reached out and touched my cheek with his palm. “You know you and Tom were the only ones I had for a very long time. I was alone for more than half
of my life. That makes it easy to grow up ruthless…cold. You and Tom were my family. But Tom’s gone, too. And now…it’s just you.” He shook his head and smiled ruefully. “Can you imagine what kind of person I’d be if I were to lose you, too?”
I bit my lip to keep myself from crying. I couldn’t say anything. So instead, I reached forward and gave Travis a hug. He hugged me back.
“So don’t go and die on me, too, okay?” he whispered.
I shook my head. I pulled away from him gently. “Couldn’t you just pick up the phone and ask me if I was doing okay?”
“I can easily do that,” he replied. “After all, if you pick up the phone, I can automatically say you’re safe, right? It’s the times I can’t be there that I worry about.”
“I’ll be fine, Travis,” I said. I smiled at him. “I’ll fight to help you keep your promise to my brother.”
“Good! So now that you know my one weakness, how much do I have to pay to keep you silent about it? For a moment there, I felt like such a weakling!”
I laughed. “No, Travis! You just became human to me!”
When I came out of the locker room wearing a pair of shorts and a shirt over my swimsuit, I found Travis waiting for me just outside.
“Where do you want to go?” he asked.
“Home,” I replied. “At least to take a shower and to change into decent clothing.”
“Why? What’s wrong with what you’re wearing?” he teased. “You’re making a good first impression on the guys right now.”
I raised a brow at him. “No, I prefer to repel boys by giving an impression that I’m a smart, boring, and prudent virgin,” I said dryly.
He looked at me pointedly. “I beg to disagree with at least two of the words you just said there.”
“The smart and prudent ones?”
“Actually the boring and…virgin ones.” He stared at me with a serious expression on his face. “I have it on good authority that you are not either of those things.”
My face turned beet red. I stood there open-mouthed. When he turned to me again, he wasn’t smiling, but his eyes were somewhat dancing. I could tell he was teasing me.
