“I like that, our little secret.” I pressed my lips into his again.
“Hold up.” He arched back, staring me down. “It’s not our little secret, is it?”
I shook my head. Flames licked my face.
“So he knows, too?” he croaked.
“Yes. I’m sorry. I didn’t know.” Hot tears sprang to my eyes, and I wanted to crawl right out of my skin.
“Hey, don’t worry about it. I’ll make you forget all about it.” He captured my mouth with his lips. Kissing me softly at first, wrapping me up in his arms. And I almost did forget. Almost.
Chapter 19
Clusters of violets had sprung up in the cracks of the cobblestone sidewalk. How long had they been there, and I hadn’t noticed? Such a colorful contrast to the gray skies of this early-March Monday. Today my heart was a mylar balloon, floating above the bleakness of this gray world. Or a violet springing up out of nowhere—announcing to the world that changes were coming. Spring was almost here. A chance to begin again.
Students and teachers streamed around me, and I barely glanced up. Everything around me faded into a haze today as I trudged across the quad. Everything except the violets.
Somehow I made it to my Salinger Hall without one iota of how I’d gotten there. I couldn’t stop thinking about last night—that first kiss and the revelations that came with it. Will, the Interpreter. Could he really help me make sense of our visions? One question blared through my mind over and over again about those strange visions of him, of us. Was Will my destiny?
I shivered at the thought. We were both too young to think about destiny. Weren’t we? How could I have a future with that guy? Or any guy, at almost-seventeen?
On the surface, it didn’t make any sense. Yet somewhere in the recesses of my still-healing heart—it did. That’s what scared me the most. Could I really be falling for Will? He definitely wasn’t the guy I thought he was six months ago.
Stumbling through the crowded halls like a complete zombie, I finally made it to Western Civ II and took my usual seat in the middle of the mini-stadium.
Then my destiny waltzed through the door, walked down the stairs and slid into the seat next to me.
“Hey, gorgeous. Bet you forgot I was even in this class.” He plopped his bag down and eased into the chair next to me.
“Yeah, kinda.” I rubbed my eyes, adjusting to the strange new reality at my side. “What’re you, a mind reader now?”
“Not exactly. You had this really cute, confused look on your face.” Leaning over on his elbow, he tweaked my nose. “Too much?”
“Maybe a little.” I scrunched my forehead at him.
Mr. Harlixton waddled down the stairs, and the loiterers in the back found their seats. He shuffled some papers at his desk, and bits and snatches of conversation resumed.
“Then this will really be too much for you.” With less-than-subtle precision, Will slid his hand over mine. “Especially if you don’t want the you-know-who’s to know about the fact that you kissed me last night.”
“Hey, you kissed me too, you know.” I turned toward him, careful not to dislodge his hand. Something like a tiny lizard crawled up my arm. I shivered.
“Oh, I was there.” A small smile rippled across his lips. “I just didn’t think you’d want the whole world to know.”
Thirty students all grew silent. Just to watch us. Correction, they were openly staring and whispering behind their hands—even pointing. I shrugged it off. Let them gawk and gossip all they wanted. They couldn’t touch me. Not anymore. No one else got a say in exactly when I could move on. That decision was all mine to make.
“Maybe I don’t care what people think anymore.” Somehow, his magnetic charm had sucked me in. I kinda liked the warmth of his hand, even though it completely outed us to the entire Montrose rumor mill.
“That’s good to hear.” His eyes danced from my mouth to my face and back again.
Heat seared up my spine, pulling me closer to him.
“Excuse me, people.” Mr. Harlixton cleared his throat, eyes narrowing ever-so-slightly in our direction. “Let’s get started.”
Thrusting my hand into my bag, I yanked out a notebook and banged it on the desk. Mr. Harlixton launched into a story about some ancient war, and I finally removed my hand from Will’s. It felt colder, stiffer, as I tried to write coherent notes. I’d be lucky if I could ever decipher this chicken scratch.
My phone buzzed in my pocket, but I kept writing. Two seconds later Will nudged my elbow, jerking his head to the left. Great, he was texting me in class? No way could I focus now.
I pulled out my cell and opened his message. Let’s get together tonight. Got something to show you.
Like the stealth spy I always knew I could be, I slid my phone under the desk and punched out a reply. How can a girl say no to that?
When he glanced at his phone, his face lit up.
Pick you up at 8? came his reply.
Okay, I typed back. As soon as I hit send, a shadow fell over me, and the whole room went quiet.
“Miss McAllen.” Mr. Harlixton stood in the aisle next to us, voice booming. He held out his hand. “I’ll take that. You can have it back after class. Needless to say, I’m very disappointed in you.”
With stiff, robotic movements, I handed my cell over like a scolded toddler.
Will nudged my foot with his sneaker toe, and it actually helped a little bit. I gave up trying to write notes, hoping I’d learn through osmosis today. But it only made class drag on forever.
As soon as class ended, I bolted down the stairs, ready to retrieve my phone.
“Lucy, a word please.” Harlixton handed my phone back.
I slipped it in my pocket, shoulders slumping down with it.
He waited until most of the students left, lowering his voice. “I don’t think you should be meeting this boy alone. It’s too dangerous.”
I narrowed my eyes right back at him. “I’m only doing what I was told.” Take that, Guardian-lover.
“I don’t think that’s what you’re doing.” He stared down his nose at me. “I think you’re doing whatever you want to do. Which means you’re just falling into his trap. Into their trap.”
“You know what, you’re right. I am doing what I want for once.” I gritted my teeth together. “I’m not letting some group, any group, tell me what to do any more. And it feels pretty good. Besides, what do you, or any of the Guardians, care? You chose not to protect me. So I’m protecting myself.”
With that I spun on my heel and booked it up the stairs. Far away from the Guardian who hung me out to dry, then tried to judge me making my own choices. Fire seared across my cheeks. Harlixton had lost his right to tell me what to do—along with Bryan and all the rest of the Guardians.
“Hey, you okay, Lucy?” Will stood in the doorway and grabbed my hand. “What’d he say to you?”
I rolled my eyes, clenching my fingers in his grip. “Same old, this-guy-is-dangerous routine. It’s getting old.”
“Forget about him.” Will laced his fingers through mine and gave my hand a reassuring squeeze. “You’ve got something to look forward to.”
“What’s that?” I asked as we walked hand-in-hand up the marble staircase to Biology.
“We’ve got a date tonight.” His mouthed curled up in that subtle way of his.
“A date? Is that what it is? I thought you were just going to show me something.” At the top of the steps, I stopped and turned to look at him. I could look at this boy all day. Streaks of sunlight glinted from the arched windows, giving his chiseled cheekbones a golden glow to match that artfully mussed sandy hair.
“Technically, it’s our first date.” The way his eyes crinkled at the edges as he studied my face made my heart feel lighter than it had in weeks, maybe even months.
“Our first date. That is something to look forward to.” Gnawing on my lip, I rocked back on my heels, unwilling to go to class just yet. “Hey, wait a minute. How’d you know I have cla
ss on the second floor now?”
He shrugged like Mr. Oh-so-cool Guy and kept walking, tugging me down the hall with him.
I lingered in the doorway, my fingers toying with his strong hands.
“Don’t worry, you won’t have to wait that long. I’ll be right here when you’re done.” A smile danced in his eyes. He gave my fingers another squeeze and walked down the hall to his next class.
Somehow I found a seat in Biology, now in even more of a daze.
Did I just agree to go on a date with Will? A new tingle zapped my spine, sizzling into my toes. The scary part—I couldn’t wait for my first real date with him.
***
True to his word, Will met me right outside of Bio and walked me to lunch. He even sat us at a different Nexis table with Mindy, the Madisons, and that guy from Shanda’s party they were all fighting over. Will slung his arm across my chair and I didn’t even care what anyone thought. It felt good to have a drama-free lunch and make a few new friends.
“You ready to face the music?” Will laced his fingers through mine and led me out the door onto the quad. Rays of sunlight peeked through gray clouds as we walked hand-in-hand back to Salinger.
Heads turned our way. People gave us strange looks, but it didn’t affect me like it used to. Their whispered comments just bounced right off me. I was about to turn seventeen. I knew what I was doing, and they could just butt out.
Will stopped, right before the front steps, and turned to me. “Are you sure you want to do this, being seen publicly with me, Guardian enemy numero uno?” Lines etched into his forehead as he stared down at me.
My heart clenched at the look on his face. “If I didn’t want to be with you, I wouldn’t have let it get this far.”
The lines tightened, his eyes crinkling. “You really want to be with me?”
My insides flip-flopped, but my answer remained the same. “I want to try.”
The lines in his forehead relaxed as his mouth curled. “Good. Then, I’ll walk you to French.”
“Thanks.” I leaned into him as he rubbed my shoulders. “I could get used to this.”
“You’ll just have to, gorgeous.” He squeezed my hand, and we climbed up the stairs together. In one fluid motion, he opened the door for me and pulled me closer into his side.
A hush fell over the marble foyer as all the students turned to stare at our entrance. I huddled closer to Will, and kept walking. The teenage crowd resumed their chatter, even if more of them were now gossiping about Montrose Academy’s newest couple.
I spotted Bryan lurking not ten feet away, hawking us from behind a bank of lockers. He jerked his head to the left, like he wanted me to follow him. Then he disappeared into the empty art studio before Will saw him.
I stopped in front of the ladies room. “I’m just going to fix my makeup. Meet you after class.”
“I’ll be waiting.” He leaned in and whispered, “But you don’t need to. You always look gorgeous.” Then he gave me a quick peck on the mouth.
I curled my lips at him. “And that’s why I need to reapply.”
He shot his hands up, all mock innocence. “Oh no, your boyfriend likes to kiss you. Tell the cops.”
“Boyfriend?” I quirked my mouth at the major bomb he’d just dropped.
Running his fingers down my arms, he took both my hands in his, face full of light. “Maybe it’s not the greatest timing in the world, but it’s how I feel. How I’ve felt for a long time. I understand if it’s too soon for you or you’re not ready. But I am. And I can’t keep it in anymore.”
“Well, okay then.” I stared down at our hands, entwined together. Hadn’t I once thought Bryan’s hands fit so perfectly in mine? Yet in a way, this felt right, too. I couldn’t explain why, but in some ways being with Will felt more freeing than one moment with Bryan. And I didn’t know how to make sense of that just yet. “We’ll talk about it. I’m open for discussion.”
“Excellent.” His smile broadened, sparking the gold flecks in his gray eyes and deepening that adorable chin cleft. “I can handle that. See you in an hour.”
I watched him walk down the hall, then ducked into the bathroom. After a quick touch-up, the bell rang. I poked my head out of the bathroom to find the hallway completely empty. Still, I felt the need to tiptoe all the way to the studio.
When I opened the door, I found Bryan pacing back and forth in the dark room.
“What is he, your boyfriend now?” His practically growled like Mufasa.
“Were you spying on us or something?” I shot a glare at him, stopping dead in my tracks, heart pounding.
He tried to shrug it off, but weird gray shadows swirled around him. Streaks of light clashed with the dark shadows as a battle waged around him.
“Bryan, this has got to stop. Do you have any idea what you’re doing to yourself?” I gasped, slapping my hand over my mouth.
He marched up to me and stood an arms’ length away. “Why, what do you see?”
I blinked, but the vision remained. “It’s not good. It’s like you’re all mixed up.”
“Tell me something I don’t know.” He stared at me for the longest time. “I just can’t get you out of my head. Sometimes I wish I’d never fallen for you. It’s too hard.”
“You made your choice.” I ground my teeth together, clamping my hands to my hips. “Did you really think I’d be a good little spy and get all the dirt on Nexis without hurting anyone? It’s a dangerous game you’re playing, messing with people at the whim of the Guardians. And I for one want no part of it.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” He leaned in close. A little too close.
“It means I’m not your little spy.” I backed up, fingers curling into my palms as remnants of old anger curdled in my stomach. “I can’t pretend to like someone just because the Guardians told me to.”
Bryan’s face went white, his jaw slack. “So then you’re actually into Will now? How did this happen?”
“You don’t remember?” I raised my eyebrows at him, shaking my head. “You dumped me in front of the whole school. So you don’t get to care about what happens next.”
“But Lucy, I still care about you. Please tell me you know that.” He stepped forward and reached out as if to rub my arms.
I flinched and pulled back. “I don’t know that anymore, because you’re my ex-boyfriend now.”
He cringed, his face crumpling. “I thought we were just on a break.”
“Yeah right, Bryan.” I practically choked on his name. “You broke my heart when you chose the Guardians over me. And now you’re just gonna have to live with that choice. Whether you like it or not.” The contents of my stomach threatened to reappear. I knew just where to aim it too.
“I was afraid of that.” He raked one hand through his now-almost-shaggy hair, mussing it beyond recognition. “Do you love him?”
I bit my lip, the anger churning into an electric ball in my stomach. “Not that it’s any of your business, but no. It’s only been a couple of months since we broke up.” I wanted to add, not yet, but I couldn’t be so cruel. Because I knew it would crush him.
“That’s something at least.” He exhaled the biggest sigh in the history of the world. “I heard you went to a Nexis meeting. Have you gotten any good intel yet?”
“That’s what you’re really after, isn’t it?” I blinked. White-hot rage boiled over and I slapped my thighs. “I can’t believe what a Guardian stooge you’re being. Even now.”
“Please, honey.” Bryan narrowed his eyes into slits. “I’m no more a Guardian stooge than your new boyfriend. Will’s a Nexis legacy. You better not forget that.”
I leaned in, ready to let him have it, but all of a sudden my inner fury fizzled out. His words didn’t burn me up like they used to. Sucking in a deep, calming breath, I took a step back. Wheels turned in my head as I analyzed the truth behind his words instead of reacting to the emotion first. Maybe I was finally getting over him.
“You’re wrong a
bout Will. Ever since I met him, Will has found little ways to break the Nexis rules for my benefit. He’s not the monster you pretend his is.” I bit off the next part about last night’s revelation in the Nexis chamber. Some secrets were worth keeping.
“Don’t tell me you’re falling for their pack of lies. You’re not going to join Nexis now, are you?” Bryan exhaled a hot breath.
“As opposed to your pack of lies? Please, I have no intention of joining Nexis.” I crossed my arms over my chest and leveled my gaze at him. “I’m quite fed up with secret societies in general. They’re kind of stupid and ridiculously demanding.”
He actually rolled his eyes at me. “Demanding or not, we’re helping people. And we’re going to stop Nexis.”
“Good, I hope you do.” I couldn’t look at him anymore, so I inched closer to the door. “But in the process, the Guardians are trying to exploit me. I’m sure Nexis wants to do the same. Well, I’m here to tell you I won’t be exploited. By anyone, least of all you.”
He stood there, mouth gaping, staring at me for five, ten, twenty heartbeats. “So where does that leave us?”
I shrugged. “I don’t know. I guess we’re at a stalemate.”
“Funny.” He puffed out one breath, then two. “I never thought we’d be here. Is there any way I could change your mind about me?”
He took two steps toward me, one finger grazed the back of my hand as if it were porcelain and would shatter any second.
Rearing back, I ran my hands through my hair, twisting and untwisting it. Bryan’s eyes followed my every move. Silent. Waiting.
The idea was a tortoise, slowly crawling through my mind. My heart beat once, twice, then curdled into a stone that plummeted down my throat. Because I already knew what’d he say. But I had to ask anyway.
“Maybe if we just drop all this spying and go find my brother in Europe…” I trailed off, staring down at my little winter half-boots.
His fingertips grazed my cheek this time, sending goosebumps parading down my neck. “Sweetie, it’s too dangerous. And we need the intel.”
Crossing Nexis Page 19
