Jessie

by Karen Botha

  It’s been all over the news!

  I should have recognized him. I have my head buried in the press most of my waking hours, for goodness’ sake. But, he’s dressed all casual, and let’s face it, you don’t expect him to be on a budget airline, do you?

  Well, I didn’t.

  But, I guess, it puts into perspective why he’s so big on his life goals. Building that empire up from scratch must have taken a chunk of work. I can see why he wouldn’t want to throw it all away because either I, or one of the guys I work with, throws a tantrum. He’s not used to being told how to live his life.

  I can also see why he deals with everything like a business transaction. It’s the only way he knows how to operate. He probably lives his life as one huge contract.

  Until he met me and my ignorance, and I upset the apple cart.

  Zac

  “Whoa, stop right there, you!” Jessie stops dead, hands on hips and I groan. Here we go again.

  “What Jessie? Come on, let’s just get on the plane. We can discuss this in privacy then.”

  “I’m not going anywhere until you explain to me exactly who you are.”

  Ahh. I smile, my eyes warm with relief. “I think you’ve just worked out who I am.”

  “Bullshit.” She grabs both my arms and manhandles me until I’m facing her at which point she gives me a good once over.

  “It’s me, Jessie. Zac. Your Zac. Don’t worry about anything else.” The last thing I want right now is for her to be derailed by my name. I should have thought about this, but I assumed that when she saw the jet earlier, she would have gotten it. What I didn’t appreciate is that she lives her life around the rich and famous, so she’s not people spotting all the time. Look whose wedding we’ve just attended for goodness’ sake, the richest racing driver the world has ever known. And she’s just announced they had a thing going.

  I bundle her into the plane. I’m not risking this running all haywire again.

  “Where are we headed?”

  “Back to Belgravia. We need to get to know each other without those hoodlums meddling. If we’re to work this out together, it has to be just that. No third parties running interference. Are you up for that?”

  She nods.

  Thank goodness she is quiet. No arguments. No spats about me controlling her life. She takes this in the spirit it was intended and I finally feel like we may be getting somewhere.

  Jessie

  I’m shell shocked.

  I’m also feeling pretty incompetent right now. How could I not recognize him? I’ve been with him all week, and he’s told me what he does for a living. How could this one significant piece of information, so completely derail me?

  As I sit on board his lavish jet, I manage to find my voice again. “So, you live in Belgravia?”

  “It makes sense. The house is central for work and all the things that I adore about London. When I was a kid, I always loved to visit and so when I was able to afford to buy my own home, I jumped at the chance. I was just lucky with the investment. I bought a pad with a short lease and managed to get it extended.”

  “But, to buy a place with a short lease, you need to have the cash?” My breathing has returned to normal and I've momentarily forgotten that I'm speaking with a multi-billionaire. He's just Zac for the moment, so I’m able to communicate on a level with him again.

  “Yeah, but I was creative with where I put the money my clients paid me with so I could show the funds.”

  I nod like I understand what he’s saying.

  I understand racing. I understand how to raise your profile in the media so that you get maximum positive exposure. What I do not understand is how to juggle money that is not yours, so that it appears it is.

  I guess that’s why there are people make a living from advising you how to invest wisely.

  The plane starts to roll back and then trundle down the runway before pulling up and lifting us nose first into the air. The G-Force slams me back into my seat and I allow it to control me.

  "I cannot believe this. I thought you were just a regular guy," I say without looking at him as we climb toward the clouds.

  “I am. You got to know me without all these trappings. What we felt on that island is real. These are just accessories.” He floats his hand around the plane as though it's insignificant.

  “But it helps to know about all of this.” I wave my hand mimicking him. “Now I see why you are unprepared to negotiate." Before he has time to comment, another thought flies into my brain. "How often are you away? Are we going to manage to meet up much when I’m on the road with my work?”

  “These are all things we need to discuss. Because it could be tricky. I can be away, often in Africa. I don’t have a lot of control over where and when I travel as I’m at the beck and call of my clients.”

  An internal radar sounds again. He just mentioned Africa, and at the risk of harping on, that is where the blood diamonds are from. Was there truth in his joke after all? Unease creeps up my spine, I sit up tall, taking in his handsome features with a distance creeping between our hearts. Lead starts to encase my heart and I feel myself slipping away from him again, from this, from us.

  We've only just gotten back on track. This up and down, back and forth is ridiculous; it's wearing me down and I'm sure he feels the same. I grab a mental hold of the lead and cast it to one side. I’m still half pissed from way too many bottles of good wine, and I was rather enjoying the magnetism of wanting to hump the life out of him. I will not allow myself to be bothered with if's and but's. If that comes up later, we'll sort it out, but if I keep worrying about what may happen, we'll never make any progress.

  “OK, we’ll talk about it tomorrow. But, for now, can we just be?” I place my hand in his, interlace our fingers and rest my head on his shoulder just like I wanted to on our journey out to Norway.

  Zac

  I wake her when we land and walk her dozy self to my car which is waiting for us on the tarmac on the small landing site. We cuddle all the way to my penthouse.

  “We’re here,” I whisper softly in her ear when our black Merc pulls up on the London curbside.

  She mumbles something incoherent, but unlatches the door and is standing on the pavement before I’ve had the opportunity to be a gentleman and open her side to let her out.

  I'm looking forward to showing her my home. I’m proud of it, but as I put my key in the lock, my fingers tremor and I miss the slot the first time. Nothing I own has come easily, I’ve worked hard for everything I have achieved, and so it’s nice to be able to show it off to people I care about, but for some reason, I not only care about Jessie, but whether she will like it. It occurs to me that I want to make a good impression.

  “It’s lovely,” she says, gazing around the marble entrance off which my office sits behind sliding, mahogany and glass doors.

  “I like it.”

  She slips her shoes off and pads at my heels down the corridor. “Your home is as far from our island as I can imagine.”

  She’s right. I’m slap bang in the heart of London. I don’t even own a house. It’s a double level penthouse with a huge roof garden, but there are no parallels whatsoever to the natural beauty of Norway. This is all cityscape.

  “Come, I’ll show you my piece of heaven here.” I grab her hand and pull her toward the staircase which continues in the same marble as the floors.

  Her head cranes automatically as we climb, the glass void above has already captured her attention. “What’s this?”

  “I’ll show you. It will be beautiful now it’s dark.”

  We enter the sunroom which I had installed on the roof terrace so that I can enjoy the vista despite the British weather.

  “This is where I spend most of my relaxation time. I have a full living space downstairs, but this is where I gravitate toward when I need downtime. During the day, you can see all the way around London.”

  But now, in the pitch black of night, the tourist attractions are replac
ed solely by twinkling lights, shimmering like the night sky stars of Norway.

  It’s easy to drift away into the imagined lives of those lights, and the people they represent. “It’s not quite the night sky of Norway, but it’s the best I can get.”

  “It’s fabulous, just a different kind of fabulous, that’s all. This place is stunning. You must love living here.”

  I’ve installed a bar up here and a formal dining table as well as a corner sofa where I lounge around reading books and trade magazines. It's where I guide Jessie toward now.

  “I don’t spend enough time here to get bored with it, that’s for sure. I’m busy either working or traveling.”

  “Well, you should make more time to enjoy such a wonderful space,” she says, and she’s right, the peace of the view has a way of calming my soul, eating away at the stresses of the daily grind. Maybe I would relax more if I had Jessie here when I returned home.

  I give myself a mental slap on the hand. She’s not the type to stay home and make house for a start, but secondly, we were splitting up twelve hours ago. And that’s breaking off what hasn't even gotten properly started.

  I'm seesawing between emotions. The part of me which feels so close, so quickly to this troublesome woman that I just want to throw everything at what we have with a careless abandon which isn't a trademark of who I am. And then, a second later, I come crashing back to earth with a cold reminder slamming my feet right back on the earth with a thud I haven't seen coming, even though I should.

  This whole thing needs to just slow down.

  But, that’s for tomorrow.

  For tonight, we still have the dream.

  Jessie

  I thought I had a nice home. I earn good money and I've taken so much care when I've been picking out the pieces that until now, I was under the illusion that I had an eye for style.

  It’s nothing compared to Zac’s place. His taste is smart and homey, with the right touch of elegance. He's done brilliantly at ensuring it doesn't step over the mark and become austere. Relaxing on his couch, wrapped in his arms as we peer out at the limitless possibilities beholden in the sky, I start to think this connection between us could be real.

  His embrace is comforting. And although the day has been tumultuous, reclining against his beating heart is the perfect antidote. His chest rises and falls in time with mine as our energies conjoin. The conversation runs dry, not because we don’t have anything to say, but because we communicate without words. Our breaths are in tandem, our heads and hearts aligned.

  “I can’t believe you roughed it in a single bed with me for the best part of a week when you live like this.” My voice is soft, my mind only half on what I’m saying, the other half cradled by the stars.

  “Jessie, it wasn’t roughing it. I’m happy anywhere with you - despite you being a bat-shit-crazy-lady.” His arms tighten around me for a second as he teases me. “You needed to see this, but the time is right now. When we were away, I wanted you to get to know me. The person underneath all of this. These furnishings are part of my life, but they're not a part of who I am. Do you understand what I’m saying?”

  I nod. “I think so.” I ignore his reference to me being crazy because, much as I despise admitting it, he has a valid point.

  “Good, because if we are going to begin our life, here, together then the entirety of ourselves is important.”

  I jam myself bolt upright because he just made a huge step. Perhaps it's connected to him being in his own space, but he finally has the balls to admit that despite this being a ludicrous idea on paper, we have something that needs to be seen through. Our connection has a permanence that we can’t ignore and it’s time to stop playing games.

  “Honesty is a great basis to work out our future on.” I twist and kiss him through my grin. It’s a lazy kiss, it’s been a long day and we’re both tired, so it’s soft, needing to do no more than convey how my heart swells when he’s close.

  But, as always, our passion surges. The lust that drives us takes control and within seconds our languishing is smothered by pulling and tugging and an urgency which has not been present before.

  It’s me who is driving this. The niggles which have loitered in the back of my mind have been satiated. He now makes sense. Yes, he’s the person I met on our summer island, but he’s so much more. And that’s what was missing from the picture he was only partly showing me.

  And now, all is clear.

  I understand who this special man is with a clarity I could never have possessed previously. And that means my passions may cantor ahead, unbridled.

  I find myself on top of him, running my fingers under his top and squirming as his run up the back of mine. Our tongues are hard, working fast to discover all the hidden details about each other. To understand the messages that only our bodies can communicate. The relief when he unclasps my bra and frees me from my restraint is liberating.

  I’m out of control and I don’t care. I'm happy.

  For the first time in my life, I’m able to see a future even though I have no idea what that will be. My one certainty, is that this man will feature in it. Zac has become my future; everything else will fit in around him.

  Zac

  “I think we should do something special today. We need to talk, but we may as well do it somewhere nice. Shall we go out?”

  She looks at me aghast, her eyes wide.

  “What?” I’ve done something wrong again.

  “Your place is so beautiful. Why leave it unnecessarily?” She waves her arm around my living room. “It’s private. There’s no need to go rushing off and distracting ourselves from what's important.”

  “OK...” I didn’t see the issue, but at least she likes the home I've created, I guess.

  After I’ve nipped down to the supermarket which sprung up as soon as the planning was approved on an expensive block of apartments, and then rustled up breakfast, we have nowhere to hide.

  It’s time for ‘the talk.’

  “I’ll start...” Jessie says.

  Thank goodness. My head is whirring a million and one things I want to say, but I can’t pin down where to start.

  “OK.” I smile as though I’m being gentlemanly.

  “At first I didn’t get you. But now, knowing the full picture about how you’ve fought to build your life and how you’ve been incredibly successful in doing so, well, you make more sense. There was a piece of the jigsaw that I could sense was missing, but now I’ve found it, the picture is clear.”

  I didn’t realize that not telling her about my considerable wealth would have such an effect on how much she likes me.

  It irks me.

  Surely she’s not like that?

  I console myself. She was drawn to me when I sat next to her on a budget flight. But I'm trained to listen to detail, and that’s not what she just said.

  I decide to take a step back and not jump to conclusions. For now, I reply with, “Cool.”

  That’s safe enough.

  Then I remain quiet so she can further expand.

  “I understand now why you will not compromise, and I guess you not sharing my attentions with a bunch of guys is on that list. But.” She raises her index finger like a school teacher telling me off. “My work is a big part of who I am. So, in the same way I’m going to have to learn to make concessions about how dedicated you are to your work, and how that means I won’t always know who you are with and what you are doing, you will need to do the same for me.”

  A sickening feeling is creeping through my veins. I don't let it reach my facial muscles, but my mouth is watering. She means Ryan and the guys stay.

  I don’t trust myself to speak, so I let out an understated sigh.

  Perhaps this was a stupid assumption, but I was hoping they would go as part of our arrangement. That she would see that I can support her, and she doesn’t need to work anymore. She must enjoy traveling to stick with a job which takes her on the road so much, so, in my mind, I thought she�
�d accompany me. Well, that was my idealistic dream, this girl has a mind of her own.

  “My job is non-negotiable.” She nods as she says this emphasizing that her statement is fact.

  Guess that answered my unspoken question.

  I’m not used to not getting what I want.

  “How about a different position that would mean our schedules would be easier to align?” It’s a fair question.

  Apparently not.

  Her back straightens and her voice is raised, “Would you get a different job?”

  Jessie

  “No, I wouldn’t. I love my career and it pays very well.” He bites his bottom lip.

  “Excellent. So, that’s agreed then. We will both keep our current roles and we will work our time together around them. It makes sense to align our diaries now, so that we’ve blocked out enough time for each other, before we book more commitments.” I pick up my phone and open my calendar.

  “Are you sure you don’t want a job with me?” The smirk on his face stops me from reacting to the anger which surges. Instead, I wait for him to finish.

  “Why?”

  “Well, you’re incredibly efficient, and my PA is not.”

  “Git.” I shove him. And then we spend the best part of an hour sorting through our chaotic schedules and working out when and where we can meet. We have a day in France, another in Spain and an entire weekend in London. We have also penciled in three days in Cape Town although that may need to change.

  “The only problem with all of this is that I could be called away at the last minute.”

  He doesn’t get it does he?