by V. T. Do
Max, I hoped, was still oblivious to how I reacted every time Mason was near, and I could almost pretend things were going fine and I wasn’t dying to touch Mason.
I didn’t know how impatient I was until I was forced to not act on my desires where Mason was concerned. It was only a matter of time before I exploded.
Friday night was Lizzie’s first date with Sam. And though I wanted Lizzie to be with whoever made her happy, I didn’t think Sam was it.
I got to know him pretty well, since he had lunch with us for most of the week. Sam was nice enough. Totally sweet, especially for a football player. Plus, his family was well off, which made him popular at the school already. With wavy dark blond hair, brown eyes and tan skin, he was beautiful in a wholesome, American-boy kind of way. And he adored Lizzie, despite the short amount of time he’d known her.
The thing that really made me uncomfortable, though, was how obvious it was that he liked Lizzie more than she liked him. I didn’t think she needed to go out with Sam, because I didn’t think it was fair to either one of them. It wasn’t fair to Sam because Lizzie didn’t like him as much as he did her, and it wasn’t fair to Lizzie because she would be settling for her second choice, and we both knew who she wanted to be on a date with tonight.
I expected to be coming home to an empty house, because Lizzie was off getting ready for her date, and Mason and Max were usually still at work. But when I pulled into the driveway, I found Mason’s car already there—and Max’s wasn’t. Finally, we would be alone, even if it was for a short time.
My heart felt heavy with guilt from such thought. It wasn’t like Max was purposely being home because he didn’t want Mason or me alone. But it still didn’t stop me from hoping for it, and it seemed I might be getting my wish after all.
The house was silent when I walked in, and I found Mason in Max’s office, working on his laptop. They had been sharing the office since Mason moved in, and though Max never said it, I knew he wanted his office back. Max was even talking about remodeling the basement so that there would be more rooms added to the house.
Mason looked up when I entered, and the smile on his face told me he didn’t mind that I was home. “Hey, Livie. How was school?”
I shrugged. School was school. Kids were still weird, Lizzie and I still kept to ourselves, and most professors got off on power. Nothing new. “It was okay.”
“Just okay?”
“Yeah. Nothing exciting really ever happens at school.”
He grinned. “Well, it’s still the beginning of the semester. Just wait until midterms and whatnot. Things will definitely get more interesting then.”
I nodded. “Where did you go to school?”
He leaned back on his chair in the most casual way, his broad shoulders moving from the stretch, drawing my eyes to them. I was fascinated by his shoulders. Mostly because they were so big. In fact, everything about him was big.
When my eyes moved back to his, there was this knowing look to them that made me blush all the way to the roots of my hair. Luckily, he didn’t comment on the obvious way I had checked him out.
“I went to the University of Chicago for my undergrad, and Columbia for law school.”
“Did you like New York?” I asked. I wanted to know if he missed it. Especially the ex-girlfriend he left behind.
He shrugged. “It was my home during a time in my life when everything felt uncertain. My feelings about New York are very mixed. I can’t say I felt at home there; I had always considered Chicago to be my home. But it was a good experience for me, to move away and learn to be independent. And it was nice to get away from everything.”
There was a faraway look in his eyes, and I knew he was talking about the abuse he faced from his hockey coach.
“Would you ever go back?” I didn’t know what I would do if he had said yes. Were some Chicago memories too painful for him?
He stared at me for a moment or two. I fidgeted on my feet. “No, Livie. I don’t think I will ever go back.”
My smile was probably as wide as North America. “Good.”
“Yes. I suppose it is.” And I didn’t know what to make of that statement, so I said nothing.
Mason stood up, and I bit my lip to keep from saying something stupid—like how incredibly handsome I thought he was. He was still in his work clothes, a white button-up shirt that fit him well and black slacks. His suit jacket was off, and the sleeves of his shirt were rolled up to his forearms.
I had seen Max look like this before, when he had come home from work and still hadn’t changed out of his work clothes, but I had never reacted so hard to something as innocent as Max showing his tanned forearms.
Mason was a different story. His skin was tan and there were veins popping out in a pattern, drawing my attention. I wanted to touch him.
He walked over to me, and I balled my hands in a fist. He was so tall, I had to tilt my head back to meet his eyes. We didn’t say anything for a long moment, just stared at each other, and for a second, I thought he was going to kiss me.
I wanted him to kiss me.
“Come on, I got something for you.”
“For me? What?”
He tapped my nose with his finger, and I wrinkled it at him. He let out a tiny, amused laugh. “You, little one, are simply too adorable for your own good. And you’ll find out soon enough. Come on. I left it in the bathroom upstairs.”
“Bathroom? That’s weird place for gift-giving, don’t you think?”
He laughed again. I really like the sound of his laugh. “You’ll see.”
He walked ahead of me, and I didn’t know what to do with my hands. Following behind him, I grabbed onto the back of his shirt.
He paused in his steps, looked behind at me, and then resumed walking. I smiled at his back. At this point, he could lead me anywhere and I would happily follow.
29
Mason
I led her up the stairs, aware of her every movement. I shouldn’t be so attuned to her, but I was. Just like I shouldn’t be plagued with thoughts of her, but I was.
I was sure I seemed preoccupied since I’d come to stay with them. And Max took notice, too. I was sure that was why he was home so much. He didn’t want me to be alone with her. I turned on the light and we stood side-by-side in front of the mirror. She frowned at our reflections.
“What?” I asked.
“No wonder you call me little one. You’re huge!”
I smirked. She was an amusing little thing, that was for sure. I always found my smile whenever she was around.
“Are you just now noticing, little one?”
“Yeah, I mean, no. That’s not what I meant. I always knew you were huge. But compared to me…” She trailed off on a tiny shrug. She was tiny compared to most people. A little on the small side of average, and infinitely too precious for the likes of me. I kind of love the way she admired my size whenever I was nearby.
Her frown deepened, and I resisted the urge to smooth away the small wrinkle between her brows. “Look at this,” she said. “I barely reach your shoulders.”
Our eyes met in the reflection, and I couldn’t look away. My voice was a bit gruff when I said, “Yeah, I know.”
Then I grasped her shoulders and pulled her back so that I could rest my chin on the top of her head. “You looking like this just makes me want to do nothing but protect you from everything bad in the world.”
“Now you sound just like Max.”
I grunted, before tightening my hold on her just a fraction and letting go. I didn’t want her to see me like Max, though that was probably what I should hope for.
“Ready for your present?”
She lit up at the mention of gifts. Most girls would pretend not to care. Or feign humility. But not Olivia. She was practically brimming with excitement.
She held out her hands and made a grabbing motion. “Gimme, gimme.”
I laughed. “Like I said, so adorable.”
Her smile widened, and I re
alized how much I was willing to do just to keep that smile on her face. I pointed at something to my right, and for the first time, she noticed a small black box on the sink countertop.
“What is it?” she asked, though I thought she had probably guessed what it was. She didn’t seem excited anymore, and my heart clenched. I didn’t know if it was the right decision to buy her this, but I felt like I had to do something.
“Open it,” I said.
She slowly unlatched the box, and I noticed a slight tremor through her hands. “You got me a makeup box?”
“Yeah.”
I started to say more, to reassure her, but she spoke first. “I don’t want it.”
She made a move to leave, but I blocked the door. She crossed her arms and glared at me. “Move out of the way, Mason.”
“Just hear me out, Livie, before you say anything.”
“I don’t want to. I told you about not being able to wear makeup since… well, that, and now you’re giving me a makeup box full of makeup? For what? To shove it in my face?”
“Do you really think I would do that? Do you think I would want to hurt you like that?”
Tears pricked her eyes and it was like a punch to the gut. I didn’t want her to cry. I didn’t think I could handle it.
“Why else would you do it?”
“I don’t want that bastard to take away any more from you. If you let what you’ve experienced keep you from doing anything, even if it’s something as simple as putting on makeup, then he wins.”
Her lips trembled and she turned away from me. “But I can’t do it. I already told you. Why are you pushing this? Why are you being so mean to me?”
“Mean?” I asked softly. I took a step toward her and moved my thumb gently across her soft cheek, wiping away a single tear. “Do you really think I’m mean to you? Does this feel mean?”
She shook her head, and I was relieved she didn’t look like she would cry anymore.
“Let me help you.”
“How?”
There were a few different ways to go about this. An idea came to mind, and I grabbed the makeup box in one hand and her small hand in the other. Then we walked out the bathroom and into her room. I had only been in here a handful of times, yet this time felt dangerous. Like I shouldn’t be here. Ignoring that, I motioned with my head for her to sit on the bed and ignored the way my heart reacted to the sight of her there.
Too young. She was too young for me.
I needed to remind myself that, or I’d feel like a monster trying to take advantage of an innocent.
I grabbed her desk chair and put it in front of the bed, in front of where she was sitting. She pulled her legs up and sat cross-legged, facing me. I put the makeup box down by her side.
“How about this? I do your makeup and you can do mine. We’ll start out small today, and when you’re finally feeling comfortable enough, you can do your own makeup for me.”
Her eyes widened in surprised and I bit my lips to keep from laughing. “You want me to put makeup on you?”
“Sure, why not? I think I can pull off makeup well; don’t you think?” She laughed, surprising me. I frowned. I was pretty serious.
“We can’t do that?”
“Why not?”
“Because it would be weird!”
I grinned and a small smile threatened to show on her face. Then I wiggled my eyebrows and another laugh burst out of her. What a wonderful sound that was.
Feeling playful, I ran my hands up and down her side in a mock tickle, and she wiggled a little. I ignored how much I wanted to grab her waist and haul her in close to me. “Come on, Livie. Let me show off my makeup skills.”
She shook my head. “You’re going to make me look hideous. I have no doubt you’ve never even touched a makeup brush.”
“Oh, I wouldn’t say that. Max and I played with our mom’s makeup when we were children. Made a huge mess in the bathroom with her foundation and everything.”
She smiled. I knew she met my parents a couple of times. I knew my parents adored Olivia, simply because they knew how much Max loved her.
She looked to the makeup box again, thinking. “We can stop whenever?”
“Of course, sweetheart. Just say the word. I even brought home some makeup remover wipes. They’re in my room.”
Her eyebrows raised in surprise, and I could feel my face warming a bit. “You thought of everything, didn’t you?”
“Ah, no. The saleslady that helped me pick out the box suggested makeup remover. I thought it was a good idea, so I figured why not?”
I offered a small shrug.
She grabbed my hand and squeezed. “Thank you.”
I squeezed back. “Of course, Livie. Now, let’s get started, shall we?”
We spent the next half-hour putting makeup on each other. I was clearly unpracticed, and besides lipstick and mascara, I didn’t know what anything else was for.
But my cluelessness got Olivia to laugh through the entire process, so I deemed it a success.
She closed her eyes when I slathered on some blue eyeshadow, which I was now convinced wasn’t her color. I should have gone with the softer pink, but I remembered the soft blue shirt Olivia wore last week, and I thought this would match her. Obviously, I was wrong.
She bit her lip to keep from laughing, and I probably took longer to put on the eyeshadow than I should have, too caught up in that unguarded look of hers.
When we were done, I took a seat next to her and held up a small mirror in front of us so we could both look at the same time. Our eyes met in the reflection for a long pause, and then we both lost it.
We fell to the ground laughing our asses off.
Max found us like that not long after. I didn’t even hear him come home.
“What’s going on?” he asked.
Neither of us answered him. I didn’t think we could. Instead, Olivia pointed at me, then at her own face, and then to the makeup box still on my bed. It didn’t take him long to assess the situation, then laugh with us.
“Why would you do this to each other? Were you really that bored?”
His question set us off again. Max walked away with an amused smile on his face, muttering something about preparing dinner. It didn’t take long for us to settle down. I wiped away some of the tears that had fallen down my face and looked at her. She looked absolutely ridiculous. And still so fucking beautiful, I couldn’t breathe properly.
“Thank you,” she said when we both gained our composure.
“Of course, Livie.” I touched my thumb to the skin under her eyes. “Sorry, you have a little eyeshadow there.”
She smiled. “Better?”
I nodded and had to clear my throat before I spoke again. “Yeah. You have always been a beautiful girl. Makeup, no makeup, even badly applied makeup can’t take that away.”
Her eyes lit up and a pleased smiled graced her lips. Silly girl. Didn’t she know?
“You really think so?”
“I know so,” I answered, my voice rough. “Listen to me, sweetheart. I don’t expect you to just be able to put on makeup after this like it’s nothing. But I want you to start with something small every single day. Can you do that for me?”
She nodded. “Yes, Mason. I can do that.”
“Good. Now come on. Let’s go see what Max is doing about dinner.” I made a move to get up and she stopped me.
“Uh, shouldn’t we wipe this off first?”
I smiled sheepishly. “Yeah. I almost forgot it was on. The saleslady was right. This stuff really is lightweight.”
She giggled and I winked at her. This was probably the most I heard her laugh since the whole Lorenzo incident.
30
Olivia
That night, I took a long, hot shower before going to bed. I supposed me feeling dirty again was bound to happen after I spent the evening trying to heal part of me that Lorenzo broke. I scrubbed my skin twice, and when I came out, it felt raw.
I looked in the
mirror and could still see remnants of the makeup Mason had put on my left eye. Wetting a small hand towel, I scrubbed until I couldn’t see the makeup anymore.
I told Mason I would try every single day, but I wondered if it would make me feel as crappy as I felt now if I were to put on any makeup, even if it was as something simple as lipstick.
I walked out of the bathroom and put on some panties and one of Max’s t-shirts that I stole from him many years ago. Then, I sat down on the bed and continued my nightly routine, trying hard not to give into the urge for another shower.
I knew from past experience that it wouldn’t help.
Nothing would help but to just ride out this feeling.
Twisting my face moisturizer bottle closed, I put it on the nightstand and laid back down on the bed, staring at the stars on my ceiling.
And then I was off.
I moved without thinking. I didn’t even know where I was going until I found myself in front of Mason’s door.
The house was deadly quiet, and the only lights were the ones coming from both Mason’s and Max’s rooms, through the cracks. I knew both were still awake, but it was Mason I wanted. It was Mason who understood exactly what I was going through.
I knocked on his door quietly, not wanting to alert Max. It took a while before he answered. I was about to move back to my room when the door opened, and Mason was there filling the doorway.
“Is everything okay, Livie?” he asked softly. Then he was frowning. I must really look like a big mess. He ran his thumb over my cheek, wiping away the tears I didn’t even know had fallen. He looked over at my shoulder, to Max’s door, looking like there was a debate going on in his head.
After a moment of hesitation, he moved aside for me to come in. I slipped past him and into the room. Without a word from either of us, I climbed into his bed and pulled the blanket over my shoulders. Mason stayed standing where he was.
