The Young & the Sinner: An Age-Gap Romance (The Entangled Past Series)

by V. T. Do

  I wasn’t a stranger to orgasms, and I had explored myself on numerous occasions, but this was something else entirely. I opened my eyes and found Mason’s gaze on me.

  He was smiling, and I was still too out of it to do anything more than stand there.

  He leaned over and kissed me low on my belly, and words left me. Of all the things we did, this was the kiss that affected me the most.

  My mind became nothing more than a jumbled mess.

  It was funny how one little kiss could mess me up so bad.

  Mason stood up and pulled me into his arms. “Alright, Olivia?”

  “Yes,” I said softly. “I didn’t know it could be like that.”

  He nodded, his eyes soft. Then he pulled me closer. I felt his hardness against my belly. Pulling away, I looked at him. “What about you?”

  “What about me?”

  I moved my hand down slowly. He stopped me before I could touch him and shook his head. He softened his rejection with a chaste kiss on my lips. “That’s not important. Tonight is about you.”

  “Well, that hardly seems fair.”

  He shook his head slightly. “This isn’t a quid pro quo kind of thing, baby. Don’t worry about me. Understand?”

  Not really, but what could I say to that? I nodded, and he smiled. Then he bent down and pulled my jeans and panties up. I squirmed a little at the way the stickiness of fabric clung to my wet flesh.

  “I’m going to go clean up,” I said.

  He nodded. “And I’ll make dinner.”

  I bit my lip to keep from laughing. He said that like it was the most normal thing in the world. But what we had just done didn’t feel normal. It felt earth-shattering. I turned away and headed toward the bathroom, a small smile playing at my lips the whole time.

  37

  Olivia

  Lizzie never got back to me after Wednesday, and she never showed for school on Thursday or Friday. I didn’t know why.

  Any attempts to contact her over the weekend went unanswered. I told myself not to start worrying. She probably had a lot on her mind, but I was going crazy.

  Monday morning, I found her by the café she liked at school. She shot me a resigned smiled when she saw me, and I pulled up short. It didn’t take much to get the story out of her.

  She and Sam were getting married. In August. Just two months after her baby’s due date. She delivered the news to me with Sam nearby and with a smile on her face that didn’t quite reach her eyes. And as much as Sam liked Lizzie, I doubt he was any happier about getting married at twenty than she was.

  I couldn’t do anything but stare at her blankly, mostly because she told me with only ten minutes before my next class started, and Sam was there.

  I hugged her instead, and whispered, “Are you sure this is what you want?”

  Lizzie shrugged and that was answer enough. I shook my head and she shot me a look. “I want you to be my maid of honor.”

  I nodded, but I couldn’t even work up a smile. With that, they walked away, and I couldn’t do any more than stare off after them.

  I spent the entire day in a daze.

  By the time I got home, I was nowhere near done processing what Lizzie had told this morning.

  Max was home when I got there, and Mason was over, too, but I barely had the energy to smile at them.

  “Hey, Livie. Long day?” Mason asked.

  I blew out raspberries with my lips. “Yeah.”

  He looked me up and down, and it looked like he wanted to hug me, but Max was here, so that wasn’t possible. Which was unfortunate, because I really needed to be hugged.

  Max placed his cup of tea down on the table. “Come on. We need to do some grocery shopping. That might take you mind off things, yeah?”

  I shrugged. I doubted grocery shopping would help, but it was better than staying at home, thinking about Lizzie. Mason joined us.

  We went to Joe & Family Grocer. Joe wasn’t there—today was his day with his grandkids, so he usually took the whole day off. I smiled and waved at my co-workers while we went around the store, throwing anything and everything in cart.

  I didn’t really eat my lunch today, so I was hungry, and everything looked appetizing. Max laughed when I came back with three different kinds of chips. “Hungry, kid?”

  I nodded. “Yes.”

  Mason had his own cart, shopping for his apartment, and when he pulled up close to us, his cart barely had anything in it.

  “All done?” Max asked. Mason nodded. “Good, let’s go check out.”

  We took twice as long to checkout than Mason did, and then the three of us made our way out the door. My phone vibrated in my pocket, and I quickly pulled it out, hoping it was Lizzie.

  I bumped into Max before I could read the text.

  “Oomph.” I looked up and found both Mason and Max standing in the middle of the store. “Why are we stopping?”

  No one answered me. I looked around the two large men to see what the problem was.

  I didn’t know what to say. It had been years since I had last seen him. He didn’t look like he changed much, except he looked more mature. More filled out. Sturdier…

  Just… more.

  “Dad?”

  The thing about having a dad who had you when he was still a kid was that you didn’t see him grow old. At least, not at first. No, I lived most of my life watching him and my mom grow up.

  And he had grown up.

  “Olivia.” He seemed just as surprised to see me as I was to see him. He probably didn’t even know that I worked here.

  Max moved in front of me, as if he was expecting my dad to hurt me in some way, while Mason wrapped his arms around my shoulders, pulling me in close. Dad narrowed his eyes on that movement, a look of disgust on his face.

  I wanted to shrink back from the look in his eyes, but I couldn’t.

  “We’re leaving,” Max said, and he looked back and motioned to the door. Mason nodded.

  But before we could take another step, two little girls, younger than ten, came running toward us. No, they weren’t running toward us. They were running toward my dad.

  “Daddy! Can we buy this? Please, please?” The smaller one of the two asked, holding up a coloring book.

  I couldn’t look away from them. They looked like me. Which was to say, they looked just like my dad.

  The three of us, the two little girls and me, were all a spitting images of the man who created us. But unlike me, they never had to work hard to earn that gentle look in his eyes. No… that, he gave to them freely.

  I hated myself for being envious of them. They probably didn’t even know I existed. And I hated how my eyes burned. I looked away and tightened my hold on Mason. He cursed softly under his breath, and without another word, led me out of there, leaving his grocery cart behind.

  I didn’t look back. I couldn’t look back.

  I always wondered what happened to my dad after he left, and now I knew. He started another family. So it wasn’t that he was incapable of staying. He was just incapable of staying for me.

  I was quiet on the ride home. Neither brother said anything to me, though I caught Max’s eyes on me in the rearview mirror a few times. I looked away every time.

  There was nothing to say to it.

  It had been six years since he left. I was used to him being gone, so it wasn’t like seeing him again had impacted my life much in any way. But there was just something about knowing he had two little girls, who looked just like me, and who he had a better relationship with that hurt. And I hated how he still had the power to hurt me, even after these years. And the eldest was definitely older than six.

  This meant he had her when he was still married to my mom.

  My stomach twisted in revulsion. No wonder my parents’ marriage didn’t work out. They were both so toxic to each other. Unfaithful and obsessive, the both of them. I had thought my mom was the only one who cheated, but I guess I was wrong. I was now surprised they even lasted as long as they
did.

  I wondered if he was married. I didn’t pay attention to his ring finger when I first saw him, but chances were, he was. He had looked at me with disgust in his eyes, and I didn’t know what to make of that, either. I didn’t know what I had done wrong to deserve that kind of look, and I didn’t want to find out.

  When we pulled up to the house, I got out the car and walked to the trunk. After Mason led me out of the store, Max transferred most of Mason’s groceries to his cart. Then he came out, loaded the bags, climbed into the car and we left. I hadn’t looked back to see if my dad was looking out after us.

  I knew he wasn’t.

  Max popped the trunk, and I grabbed a few of the bags and hurried my way inside. I caught Mason’s eyes, but I couldn’t stand to look at him long. I didn’t want to see the look of pity on his face. I would break down if I did.

  We put the groceries away in silence.

  Max said he would make dinner, then smiled at me. I couldn’t muster the energy to smile back. I excused myself to my room after, closing the door gently behind me.

  I didn’t even know why I was feeling like this. Not having my parents in my life wasn’t anything new to me. And I had to find a way to get out of this dark mood soon, because I didn’t want to give my parents any more power over me than they already had.

  A silent knock came at the door then. I wasn’t sure who I hoped it wouldn’t be more, Mason or Max.

  I opened the door and Max stood there, his face solemn. “Can I come in?”

  I nodded and moved back. Max came in and my room seemed much smaller somehow. I climbed onto my bed and sat on the edge. Max sat down next to me.

  We didn’t say anything for a while. I could feel his eyes on me, but I pretended not to notice.

  “I’m sorry you had to see him like that after all those years,” Max said.

  I gave a careless shrug, as if it wasn’t a big deal. “It is what it is.”

  “Olivia, talk to me.”

  I looked at him then. “What’s there to talk about?”

  “Well, tell me how you really feel about it?”

  I looked away, my fists clenched in my lap as I tried to control my anger. “What’s the point? It wouldn’t change anything, would it?”

  “No, sweetheart. I’m sorry, but it wouldn’t. But it might make you feel better.”

  I looked back at him, no longer able to hide my anger. I stood up and paced around the small room. “It could make me feel better? How? Are you saying I would feel better telling you that I wasn’t worth my parents’ time and affection? That they must have blamed me for ruining their lives, and that’s why they left? That they couldn’t love me, no matter what I did, because if they did, they wouldn’t have left me to begin with. How would saying all that make me feel better? How, Max?”

  “Come here, Olive,” Max said softly.

  I shook my head. My eyes burned with tears, and I didn’t even realize I was crying until I felt them run down to my cheeks.

  “Please,” he whispered, but I couldn’t. Once I went to him, I would break down. I didn’t want to break down.

  “I can’t,” I said, backing away a little.

  “Yes, you can. Come to me.”

  “Why are you doing this? Why are you being cruel?”

  “I’m not, kiddo.” He stood up and took a step toward me. I backed away until my back hit the wall.

  “I don’t want to.”

  Max paused in his steps then and nodded. “Okay. I’ll stand right here until you’re ready.”

  “That’s ridiculous. You can’t just stand there.”

  “Why not?”

  I frowned at the idiotic question.

  “Your parents love you.”

  I shot him a disgusted look over the blatant lie.

  He continued. “No, they do. They just don’t know how to love you correctly, and for that, I’m so sorry. But I love you enough for the both of them, tenfold. And I will always love you. Lean on me. Let me carry some of that burden for you.”

  I cried harder.

  “Come to me, Olivia.”

  Max opened his arms, and without thinking, I ran to him. He caught me and we both fell to the floor.

  I sobbed in his chest.

  “Shh. It’s okay, sweetheart. I’m here. It’s okay.”

  I shook my head, wiping my tears on the sleeves of his shirt. “No, it not.”

  “No, it’s not,” Max repeated. “But it will be.”

  I nodded in agreement then. Yes, it would be okay. Max was here. And it would always be okay.

  38

  Olivia

  Mason left three hours after dinner. I knew part of him didn’t want to leave me here, but there wasn’t a good enough excuse he could offer Max to stay.

  And for the first time, I was thankful. I didn’t know how to interact with Mason after everything. I didn’t know how I could kiss Mason… love him behind Max’s back.

  It wasn’t the first time I felt guilt over hiding something from Max, but it was the first time that I felt I couldn’t breathe, couldn’t move until I came clean to him.

  I knew my feelings now had a lot to do with seeing my dad again and talking to Max in my room earlier. Still, I couldn’t shake the feeling that I was doing something wrong with Mason, and perhaps…

  Perhaps, I should stop.

  I could barely meet Mason’s eyes when he said goodbye to me. And he took a chance when he pulled me into his arms in front of Max, holding onto me a little longer than was necessary before he turned and walked away.

  If Max thought Mason’s behavior was unusual, he didn’t say anything.

  I went to bed early that night. But I didn’t stay asleep for long. Around two in the morning, I was startled awake. I wasn’t sure what it was that woke me, only that I couldn’t go back to sleep. And instead of calling Mason like I usually did, I got out of bed and walked to Max’s bedroom. His door was closed, so I quietly sat down, leaned my back against the wall and waited.

  Fifteen minutes later, I heard him snore softly as he moved around the bed, and I closed my eyes, smiling.

  Max found me asleep outside his bedroom door at five o’clock in the morning. He didn’t say anything. Instead, he picked me up off the floor and carried me back to my room. He pulled the blanket over me and kissed my forehead.

  “Go to sleep, kiddo.”

  “Okay,” I mumbled, and then I drifted off into a dreamless sleep.

  Over the next few days, I did everything I could to live my life as normally as possible. I didn’t want my dad to take any more of my happy days than he already had. I went to school and hung out with Lizzie. I even helped her plan the wedding.

  Lizzie said she wanted something small, but I thought that mostly had to do with the situation than anything else. She was only getting married because her very traditional mom needed her to.

  It was hard to be excited about something we knew wasn’t ideal. But we planned like it was something she wanted and pretended that things weren’t so messed up with either one of us at the moment.

  On day three, I received a phone call from an unknown number.

  I didn’t think too much of it when I picked up. I heard someone breathing on the other line before he said anything.

  “Olivia.”

  I didn’t think. I hung up the phone and threw it on my bed, buried beneath the covers. Out of sight, out of mind.

  I didn’t know how my dad had even gotten my number, but I wasn’t going to ask him. I didn’t know what he wanted, but he had already created enough damage in my life.

  I didn’t tell Max about the phone call.

  I didn’t tell anyone, not even Mason. Mason, who I hadn’t seen since the day of the grocery store incident. I had been ignoring him.

  I didn’t know how to continue whatever it was that we were doing without feeling like I was betraying Max somehow, but I also didn’t know how to end things with Mason without feeling like my heart was splitting in two.

  I
chose to ignore him. To ignore my problems, even if it was nothing more than a temporary relief.

  It clearly wasn’t a very good plan, considering Mason knew where I lived. I found his car in the driveway by the end of the week, after getting home from Lizzie’s dorm.

  He had let himself in the house, and I knew Max wasn’t home. He was off running errands and probably wouldn’t be home until much later. Even though I knew he was there, I still pulled up short when I found Mason in the kitchen, sipping coffee. He looked up when he heard me.

  For a moment, I was transported back to the first time we met.

  How far we’d come, and how much had changed.

  Neither of us said anything.

  I took him in, from his large frame to the unruly dark hair, his rough stubble, and the black suit with gray tie he wore. He looked like he’d just left the office.

  I wanted to move toward him, like I always wanted to do in his presence. There was just something about him that I couldn’t get enough of, and it went beyond his devastatingly good looks.

  “Hi,” I said meekly.

  “Olivia,” he said tonelessly. I didn’t know if he was mad that I had been avoiding him or indifferent. And I didn’t know which was worse.

  “How are you?” I asked politely, and it almost killed me. We were acting more like strangers than lovers. And I didn’t know how to stop feeling like this.

  Mason stood up and the chair scraped along the hardwood floor, the noise jarring. I flinched and Mason’s eyes assessed me. I wasn’t afraid of him, but that must have been what he thought, because he slowed his movements. And then he stood in front of me and I had to tilt my head back to meet his eyes.

  “You’ve been avoiding me,” he said gruffly, and I knew then, he wasn’t indifferent toward me.

  I nodded. There was no sense in trying to deny it. All those unanswered phone calls, all those texts I never replied to. Of course I had been avoiding him.