The Young & the Sinner: An Age-Gap Romance (The Entangled Past Series)

by V. T. Do

  Only one thing was looking up: I had finally decided on a major. I was going to study Directing and Theatrical Production. It was a mixture of the theater world and the business world. I got to study what I loved and still be practical about it. If anything, the business aspect of it would hopefully make me appealing to future potential employers once I graduated.

  I was pretty happy with my decision, and when I told Max, he had smiled wide and told me he was proud of me. It should have made me feel over the moon, only all I could think about was how I couldn’t share the news with Mason.

  For the rest of that first day, I went through the motion of going to class and listening to the professors discuss what was on the syllabus. I met with Lizzie. She was wearing a loose-fitting sweater that hid her pregnancy well.

  But to me, she was glowing.

  I placed a kiss on her head when I neared, taking a seat across from her. “Hey. How are you feeling?”

  She rolled her eyes. “You know, you’re just as bad as Sam?”

  I frowned. “What do you mean?”

  “Being pregnant doesn’t make me an invalid. You can both relax.”

  I didn’t realize my worry about her was so obvious. “Right. I know that.” She raised one eyebrow, as if to say she didn’t believe me. I grinned. “Okay, so you’re pregnant. Not a big deal. You’re only carrying a foreign life force in your body, whose main goal is to suck all of the nutrients from your body so that it can grow and thrive.”

  She frowned, and I know she couldn’t decide whether or not to laugh or be offended. I bit my bottom lip to keep from laughing, only to lose it when Lizzie did.

  She threw a piece of napkin at my face, and it bounced off my cheek and onto the floor. “Hey, don’t throw your disgusting used napkin at me.”

  “That’s what you get for suggesting my baby is some sort of alien. What kind of godmother are you?”

  “The kind that will love this baby so much, alien or not.”

  She leaned back against her seat and patted her stomach, a content smile on her face.

  “Seriously. How are you feeling Lizzie?”

  “Happy. I know I didn’t plan on it, but I really love my baby. I can’t wait for him or her to be born.”

  “Good. I’m glad to hear that.”

  “Thank you. You know we get to find out the sex of the baby on our next visit?”

  “Really? What are you hoping for?”

  “Sam wants a little girl. But I don’t really care, as long as our baby is healthy and happy.”

  I rolled my eyes. “What is it with men wanting a daughter?”

  “I think it’s so they can have a daddy’s girl.”

  “A boy is just as good.”

  “That’s true.”

  “Especially if you raise them right.”

  In one of those rare instances, I allowed myself to think about Lorenzo. I wondered what went wrong to turn him into a rapist. If I had a boy, I would raise him to love and protect women. I would raise a gentleman.

  Lizzie patted the hand I had rested on the table. She must have known what I was thinking about, because when I looked up, her eyes were soft.

  “Yes. If I end up having a son, we’ll raise him right. We’ll raise him to be a protector of women.”

  I smiled, my eyes burning a little. “We will, won’t we?”

  She nodded. “How are things going with you? Have you talked to Mason yet?” I shook my head. She sighed. “Avoiding your problem isn’t going to make it go away.”

  “I know that,” I said defensively.

  Lizzie pulled back and took me in.

  It was my turn to sigh. “I’m just not ready to face him yet.”

  “I know, Livie. I just… you look so sad. I just want you to be happy again.” Lizzie had adopted Mason’s nickname for me, and I didn’t know if I wanted to hear that name again or not.

  I offered a small smile, but I didn’t say anything. I knew better than to believe my happiness revolved around Mason, but I seriously couldn’t see myself being happy unless I was in his arms. And yet, every time I thought about going to see him, the image of him and my mom wrapped in each other’s arms nearly made me sick.

  I wasn’t ready.

  “How are you and Sam?” I asked to change the subject.

  She gave me a knowing look but allowed it. “Things are actually going well.”

  “You sound surprised.”

  “Perhaps I am. I thought it would take some time to get used to the fact that I would be a mom and a wife soon, but the thought doesn’t scare me as much as it used to. And Sam is sweet. Almost indulgent. And very protective.”

  Her eyes went soft, and I was glad to see her happy.

  My gaze went to the sparkling engagement ring she wore. It was simple and classic, a princess cut, and so Lizzie, I almost smiled. Sam obviously knew her well.

  I was so worried when she told me she was getting married, but perhaps it could be a good thing. I didn’t know if she loved Sam or not, but if she didn’t, then maybe she could learn to love him.

  We finished lunch pretty quickly, and parted ways to go to our separate classes.

  By the time I got to my apartment building, the sky was drab and dreary, and I almost didn’t want to leave again. I had agreed to meet my dad at the coffee shop, though. We had been seeing each other once a week.

  We were slowly, but surely, building a relationship again, but I didn’t think I could ever allow us to be as close as we were before.

  I walked up the stairs to the third floor. Max didn’t want me on the ground floor, because he was afraid it would be more prone to break-ins, but Max only said that because he didn’t have to take three flight of stairs a few times a day.

  I was exhausted by the time I got to my front door, and surprised when I saw a bouquet flowers tucked into a glass vase in front of it.

  The flowers were beautiful, an array of colorful buds in full bloom strung together by a red silk ribbon. I grabbed the vase and rushed inside the apartment, bringing the blooms to my nose to sniff.

  I found a small card tucked away in the side and opened it. My heart stuttered as soon as I recognized Mason’s neat script on the card.

  For your first day of school. I hope this brightens your day as much as the thought of you brightens mine.

  ~Mason

  I traced the M on his name, my heart hurting even more than before. What the hell was I supposed to do with this? A huge part of me wanted to do nothing more than drive to Mason’s house and pretend everything was okay, yet I couldn’t make my feet move.

  I couldn’t pretend that he and my mom didn’t happen. How did I go about forgetting it?

  In the end, I placed his card on the kitchen counter, next to the flowers, and left. I was late in meeting my dad, so it wasn’t like I could stay here and mull it all over.

  Dad was already there when I got to the coffee shop. I pulled up next to his car and got out, heading quickly indoors when a cold wind picked up.

  He looked up when I entered, and there was this genuine brightness in his eyes that still pulled me up short.

  I didn’t resent that look on him anymore. In fact, I was slowly getting used to it.

  “Hey,” I said, taking a seat across from him.

  He had already ordered for us. I took a sip of the caramel macchiato; the temperature was just right. He ordered this for me every time we met up, and though it wasn’t my favorite drink, it was good, and I didn’t have the heart to tell him I might prefer something else.

  “Hi, sweetheart. How was your first day of school?”

  “It was okay. How are Ellie and Wendy?” I asked. Ellie and Wendy were my half-sisters. I grew up as an only child, so it was a bit unnerving to know that I had siblings. Dad wanted me to meet them, but I just wasn’t ready. I didn’t know when I would be, but they were still pretty young, and I was afraid that I might hurt them, unintentionally, if we met too soon.

  “They’re doing well. They started back to s
chool two weeks ago, at the beginning of the month, so we’re finally getting used to the school schedule,” he said on a laugh and I offered a small smile.

  His laugh slowly faded as he took me. “Can I ask you something?”

  “Sure,” I said, bringing the cup closer to my chest until I could feel the heat of it.

  “Are you okay?”

  I frowned. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

  “I know we don’t know each other very well anymore, and I know it’s my fault, but you seem… sad these past couple of weeks. Do you want to talk about it? You might not know this about me, but I’m a really good listener.”

  I smiled for the first time in weeks, a full genuine smile. “Thanks… I’m good. It’s nothing I won’t get over eventually.”

  I took a sip of my drink, wanting something to do. I almost called him Dad. I hadn’t call him Dad since he left six years ago. I didn’t think I was ready for that now.

  “Perhaps you don’t want to get over it?”

  I let out a sigh. “Max told you, didn’t he?”

  “He’s worried about you.”

  I let out a dry laugh. “What else is new? Max is always worried about me.”

  “I’m worried about you, too.”

  “Well, you shouldn’t be. I’m fine.”

  He didn’t say anything for a while, just sat there and looked at me. I resisted the urge to squirm in my seat. Then, surprising me, he said, “Tell me about Mason.”

  “Don’t you know him already?” I asked quietly.

  He shrugged. “I knew him as a teenager. I got to know him better when he was in his early twenties, a few months before he was set to leave for law school in New York. I don’t really know him as a man.”

  I sat up a little straighter. “What was he like?”

  Dad let out a small chuckle. “Hot-headed. Cocky. You can tell he loved Max, but he didn’t want to be like him. He wanted to be his own man. It’s probably why he chose to study law when he could have done just as well in finance.”

  “I didn’t know that,” I said. I didn’t realize Mason had such a complicated relationship with Max. Their relationship had always seemed so easygoing.

  Dad nodded. “I’m sure he’s changed since then.”

  “He’s not as steady as Max,” I said, and that was true. “But he’s dependable. And when he loves you… he’ll do anything for you.”

  “Good. I always knew he would make something of himself. I’m sure he’s a good man.” At my frown, Dad laughed again. “What, you don’t agree?”

  “No, I do. I’m just surprised that you, of all people, would think that.”

  “Why, because of what happened between him and Grace?” I nodded. Dad let out a sigh and leaned back in his chair. “He was young. We all were. And I’m not saying that’s a good excuse for what happened, but I’m just saying I understand why your mom cheated and why Mason did. It was the same reason I did.”

  “And that was?”

  “We weren’t happy.”

  I set the warm cup down and leaned back against the chair. “Were you guys really that miserable? I don’t remember that. I remember the family picnics. I remember you teasing mom for being so careless sometimes. But I don’t remember you guys arguing. Ever.”

  “That was the one thing we both agreed on when we brought you home with us. To never fight in front of you. We didn’t want you to grow up in the kind of environment where fighting between parents was a normal thing. It’s not.”

  “Oh,” was all I could say. I really did believe they were happy.

  Dad grabbed my hand. I liked that his hand was big and warm, and wrapped around mine. Growing up, I had thought of myself as a daddy’s girl. Up until the moment he left, that was. And now he was here, and that warm feeling of being near him was back. Not as intense, but it was nice.

  “Listen to me, baby. No matter the state of my marriage to your mom, it had nothing to do with you. I love you. I always have. I know I haven’t always shown it, but I do. And I want you to be happy. Mason obviously makes you happy, otherwise you wouldn’t be so miserable without him. Perhaps it’s time you learn to forgive him over something that happened years ago.”

  “I don’t know how,” I said, my voice thick with emotions as I pulled my hand away. He had a resigned look on his face. “I really, really want to forgive him. But I can’t stop thinking about him and Mom. And…”

  Dad frowned. “And?”

  I looked down at my half-empty cup of coffee, skimming my pointer finger over the rim. My cheeks felt tight, and I knew if I looked at him, he would see shame in my eyes.

  It didn’t matter. It seemed that he could read me better than I thought.

  “Don’t tell me you think Mason is still in love with your mom?” His voice expressed his horror when he continued, “Olivia, you don’t think you’re some sort of replacement for her, do you?”

  I sat back against my seat and offered a small shrug. A huge part of me didn’t believe that. I knew what I had with Mason was real, and that when he said he loved me, he meant it. But another small—yet loud—part wondered if Mason was still in love with my mom.

  “Baby, that’s not true. They don’t love each other. They never did. Honestly, I don’t think Mason even liked your mom all that much.”

  “Well, it seems like he went through a lot of trouble for someone he doesn’t really like.”

  “Grace is not an easy person to be around Besides, you can’t be her replacement. You are your own unique person, and I’m sure Mason can see that.”

  Again, I gave another small shrug.

  When I didn’t say anything, Dad finished off his coffee, and we sat in silence for a while, staring at each other.

  “Then I guess you need to make a decision. If you really think you can’t forgive him, or even take him back, then you need to let him go so you both can move on. Max told me Mason doesn’t plan on doing anything until you forgive him. I’m pretty sure he would give you years to think about it, but that’s not fair to either one of you.”

  The pinching sensation around my heart that had been accompanying me these past few weeks grew to the point where I almost couldn’t breathe.

  “How do I decide?”

  Dad tapped a single finger on the edge of the table. My eyes followed the movement, taking in the gleam of his wedding ring. Then he said the oddest thing. “You flip a coin.”

  “What?”

  He smiled. “You flip a coin. If you ever find yourself stuck between two hard choices, just flip a coin.”

  “Flip a coin? You would leave making life-changing decisions to a coin flip?”

  “No, of course not. I’m saying you flip a coin, and whatever side of the coin you hope it lands on while it’s in the air is the decision you should make.”

  “Flip a coin,” I repeated. “Hmm, that sounds like a bunch of bullshit.”

  “Language,” he said with a laugh.

  I laughed, too.

  And I didn’t stop. Not even with tears streaming down my face, I continued to laughed, feeling too much like a maniac, and Dad was looking at me like I’d lost it. Maybe I had.

  I didn’t know when my laughter morphed into tears. I was silently crying for the second time in a coffee shop. His expression changed to alarm, then worry, which only made me cry harder.

  “I don’t know what to do, Dad.”

  His eyes widened when I called him that, but I was thankful he didn’t comment or make a big deal out of it.

  Instead, he stood up and came over to my side of the booth. Then he wrapped his arms around me, and suddenly, I was twelve again. I was daddy’s little girl, and as long as he was around, I didn’t have to worry.

  I cried harder into his chest.

  “Shh, my sweet girl. Everything will work out, I promise you. I’m here with you. I promise.”

  53

  Olivia

  It was past midnight, and I was still wide awake in my dark room.

  I had tossed and tur
ned all night, and I doubted I would actually fall asleep tonight.

  I was going to look like a zombie tomorrow on my second day of school, no doubt about it. And it was the day with all my hard classes. My major required I take all the general business classes in order to graduate, and I had them set up for my Monday and Wednesday classes. We didn’t have school this Monday because of Martin Luther King’s Day, so Wednesday was going to be my first day for those classes.

  My conversation with my dad bounced around in my head like a rubber ball.

  With a frustrated groan, I pulled the covers off and sat up in bed, looking around the dark room, save for the glow-in-the-dark stars Max had insisted I take with me. I had been staring at them all night.

  I’d always thought if Max hung the stars, then Mason hung the moon. Was I wrong?

  “Flip a coin,” I said to the quiet room, my voice sounding strange, even to me. Was I really entertaining this? The whole thing seemed silly, yet… it might have its merits. I turned on the bedside lamp, my eyes squinting a little as I tried to get used to the intrusion of light.

  Then I moved off the bed and went over to where I had thrown my purse on the floor earlier. Opening it, I dug inside until I found a quarter.

  “Okay, Olivia. Just flip the coin. Heads, I go to Mason.” My heart rate sped up as I said it. “If it’s tails, I stay here.”

  I looked down at the coin, and I hesitated. I wasn’t sure what for, because I just wanted the decision to be made.

  Making a fist, I placed the coin on top of my thumb, and with a flick, I watched as it bound up into the air. At the very moment it was about to hit the ground, my mind screamed for one option and one option only.

  There was no alternative.

  I heard it drop on the carpeted floor somewhere nearby, but I didn’t bother checking. I had my answer.

  Closing my eyes, I landed back on my bed with a soft thud and… I broke down.

  It was dark in my old neighborhood, save for the same streetlight that could be seen from the garden window in Max’s kitchen.

  I pulled into the driveway and turned off the headlights quickly, afraid I would wake someone, though at two o’clock in the morning, that didn’t seem likely.