Remember You This Way

by C. R. Jane

  Remember You This Way

  The Sounds of Us Book 2

  C.R. Jane

  Contents

  Title

  Join C.R. Jane’s Readers’ Group

  Blurb

  Foreword

  Remember Us This Way Soundtrack

  Prologue

  1. Now

  2. Then

  3. Now

  4. Then

  5. Now

  6. Then

  7. Now

  8. Now

  9. Then

  10. Now

  11. Now

  12. Then

  13. Now

  14. Now

  15. Now

  Author’s Note

  Sneak Preview

  Bound

  16. Chapter 1

  Sneak Preview

  Queen of the Thieves

  Preface

  Prologue

  17. Chapter 1

  Join C.R.’s Fated Realm

  Other Books by C.R. Jane

  Remember You This Way

  The Sounds of Us Book 2

  C. R. Jane

  Remember You This Way by C. R. Jane

  Copyright © 2019 by C. R. Jane

  All rights reserved.

  No portion of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review, and except as permitted by U.S. copyright law.

  For permissions contact:

  crjaneauthor@gmail.com

  This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, locales, and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

  Created with Vellum

  For all the girls who dared to be happy.

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  Remember You This Way

  Can you ever really start over? It’s the question that follows Ariana now that she’s reunited with the boys from the Sound of Us. Haunted by the past and her hopefully soon to be ex-husband, Ari is dragged along as the band continues its world tour.

  Touring the world together...it’s what they all used to dream about. Sold out stadiums and screaming fans, it’s everything anyone would want. But with broken hearts to mend, groupies to ignore, and someone who clearly wants Ariana to leave for good, is their dream more of a nightmare?

  Can Ariana find her place in the band before it’s too late or is she destined to lose her heart and herself in the process?

  Foreword

  She couldn't care less, and I never cared more

  So there's no more to say about that

  Except hope is a dangerous thing for a woman like me to have

  Hope is a dangerous thing for a woman with my past

  -Lana Del Rey, Hope Is A Dangerous Thing For A Woman Like Me To Have

  Remember Us This Way Soundtrack

  “Always Remember Us This Way”-

  Lady Gaga

  “Wilder Minds-

  Mumford & Sons

  “Wonderland”-

  Taylor Swift

  “Hate Me”-

  Blue October

  “Lips of An Angel”-

  Hinder

  “Born to Love You”-

  LANCO

  “7 Rings”-

  Ariana Grande

  “Complicated”-

  Olivia O’Brien

  “Crash Into Me”-

  Dave Matthews Band

  “Hope Is A Dangerous Thing For A Woman Like Me To Have”-

  Lana Del Ray

  Prologue

  From the start, the Sound of Us framed themselves as the quintessential bad boys who had their heart broken and now wouldn’t let themselves get close to any other woman. As Jensen said it so bitterly one night on a talk show, “the only thing guaranteed about a woman was that she would break your heart.” Flocks of women made it their mission to heal the broken heroes’ hearts. They threw themselves at the three band members, offering up everything they possessed for the chance to have one night to change their mind about love. They ate up the band’s songs that spoke of a love they longed for but would never have. Only I knew the truth. Once upon a time they did have that love. And I ruined it.

  1

  Now

  “Did she tell you she was married before you fucked her?” says Jensen, the ugly words rolling off his tongue and sending a shiver of dread down my spine. I could feel Jesse tensing in front of me. There was a silent pause in the room as we all absorbed the enormity of what he had just said.

  “Jensen, I suggest you get the hell out of my house if you’re going to come in here saying shit like that. You’re a fucking idiot,” snaps Jesse.

  My heart sinks at his belief in me. The truth of Jensen’s words however is far uglier than he even knows.

  Jensen leans against the doorway, a smug expression on his face. He’s looking right at me and I know that there must be confirmation that he’s telling the truth all over my face with the triumph that flashes in his eyes. Tanner is staring at me too. Disbelief spreads across his face briefly before his entire expression shutters closed. He was always the best out of the three in hiding what he was feeling or thinking. His face is like a blank mask.

  Jesse gets off the bed, not bothering to hide the fact that he’s completely naked. Despite the tension in the room I find myself admiring his perfectly sculpted ass, before reminding myself of the seriousness of the situation. Jesse tries to go for nonchalant as he pulls on a pair of sweats that were on the floor, but I can see the rage that he’s trying to control in his stiff movements.

  “Do I need to walk you out myself?” spits out Jesse, and I cringe at the ugly way he’s talking to his best friends.

  “Jesse,” I say softly. He looks back at me, his face softening.

  “It’s okay baby. I’ll take care of it,” he says.

  “No, Jesse. This was what I needed to talk to you about.”

  He turns around slowly, his eyes widening in disbelief. “What you needed to talk to me about? Are you saying it’s true...you’re fucking married?” he says in a voice laced with pain and disbelief.

  “It’s more complicated than that,” I gasp out, wringing my hands as the situation spins out of control.

  “Did you get bored with your husband and just decided that you wanted to fuck a rockstar?” spits out Jensen. “Thought we would be easy prey considering how much you had us wound tight around your finger in high school?”

  The three of them look at me with so much loathing that I can barely breathe. In my panic I’m having trouble knowing what to say, remembering what the truth of the matter is...what happened with Gentry just last night.

  “My marriage is over,” I tell them pleadingly.

  “Oh, that’s convenient,” spits out Jesse. “Did you just think that you would upgrade once you got your claws in us again?” In his rage he tears a picture off the wall and throws it across the room, shattering the glass everywhere.

  I start to shake, similar scenes with Gentry darting through my mind and starting a panic attack that I have trouble keeping at bay. As the walls start to close in on me, the sheet I had been holding slips out of my hands, revealing the top half of my body. I see Tanner’s eyes widen, but the look in them is not one of lust, it’s one of sorrowful rage.

  “Where d
id you get those?” he says, walking towards me as if he can’t stop himself. I realize that the bruises from last night’s fight must be visible. Jesse hadn’t been able to see them in the dim lighting this morning. Tanner traces a tentative finger over my bruises, making me cringe with pain even from the light touch. I feel everything in that moment. I must have been running off adrenaline up to this point but now I’m not sure how I’m even still awake with how bad the pain is. My ankle is throbbing painfully, and I’m quite sure I couldn’t walk on it if I tried. My throat feels bruised and delicate, and there’s a host of other aches and pains spread across my body.

  “My husband did this,” I whisper. “Leaving bruises across my body has been his favorite past time for years. I finally was able to fight back enough last night to leave him.” Tears start to well in my eyes as I look at the three devastated men standing in front of me. “I never meant to deceive you,” I whisper. “I didn’t plan for any of this to happen.” I take a deep hiccuping breath.

  “Pretty girl,” Jesse whispers, his voice heavy with self-loathing as he kneels at my feet that are dangling off the side of the bed. I pull the blankets back over my body feeling self-conscious at their continued horrified inspection of my body.

  I take his face in one of my hands, my other hand keeping a strong grip on the blanket pulled up to my chin. “I’ve been trying to tell you. I’m so sorry,” I whisper.

  “How long has this been going on?” asks Tanner in a hoarse voice.

  “For three years,” I say bitterly. A thick silence descends over the room.

  “I’m going to kill him,” says Tanner in a deadly voice as he goes to leave the room. Jensen grabs him roughly by the arm causing Tanner to lash out and strike him across the face.

  “Mother fu…,” snarls Jensen as he curses in pain.

  “If your husband is responsible for all of that, why is he on tv right now begging for your return?” snarls Jensen, looking up at me while holding his cheek where he was just hit.

  I give a little gasp. “What are you talking about?” I ask, my mind having difficulty comprehending Gentry’s level of obsession that he would do something like that and risk tarnishing his family’s perfect name. Jensen strides across the room and grabs the changer off the nightstand next to the bed. I can feel the confusion radiating off of him. He flicks on the television that hangs on the wall and we all turn towards it as Jensen flips to the local news. A newscaster is standing in front of the City Hall. I’m astonished to see Gentry behind him standing in front of a podium that’s been set up in front of the building. Gentry is standing in a sharp suit and tie that would look polished if it weren’t for the fact that his face is a kaleidoscope of blacks and blues from my efforts last night. I feel a perverse sense of pleasure of seeing evidence of my small victory.

  “Is that from you?” asks Jesse, a proud gleam in his eyes. I nod, unable to take my eyes off the screen as the camera switches from the reporter to Gentry.

  “Last night at approximately 4:30am my wife and I were the victim of a home invasion. My wife was viciously dragged from my bed by one assailant while another made sure I wasn’t able to follow,” he says, gesturing at his face. “I’m asking for the public’s help in finding my wife. She is immeasurably precious to me and is my whole world,” he says in what sounds like a broken voice. “I will pay any price to get her back,” he says, his voice choking with what I know are fake tears. As he speaks the screen flashes to a picture of us on our wedding day. I see Tanner turn away from the screen as if he’s unable to look at my picture.

  The screen cuts back to Gentry as he begins to answer questions, but I’m no longer paying attention. It’s never going to end. I’m never going to escape him.

  “I have to go back,” I whisper forlornly, not comprehending what other options I have now that Gentry has made this into what is sure to be a national story.

  “That’s not happening,” says Jesse fiercely, standing up and grabbing his phone from off a table. “Pull the sheet down,” he says as he presses a button on his phone and turns it towards me.

  “What are you doing?” I ask, pulling the sheet up higher.

  “We need proof of what he’s been doing.”

  “Nothing is going to work. Don’t you think that I would have left the first time that it happened if I was able to?” I ask in a forlorn voice.

  There’s silence and I see the guys exchange glances. My heart drops. “You think I just stayed?” I choke out. They look at each other again and their silence says everything.

  “I’m not weak,” I whisper, remembering the strength that I was able to come up with last night.

  Jesse strokes my face but remains quiet. I stare impassively at the tv screen as the story about me continues to run. Jesse starts taking pictures of my injuries, and I just let him. I’m suddenly exhausted, all the action of the night before hitting me at once. I’m painfully aware of all the aches and bruises covering my body.

  After Jesse is done taking pictures, I politely ask them to leave so I can rest.

  “You have a lot to explain…” begins Jensen. I wave him away. “I don’t owe you anything more right now. I understand that you have a lot of questions, but the bottom line is that I made a horrible mistake three years ago, and I’ve had to live with that mistake since that time. I have more than paid my dues. I will answer whatever questions you have after I rest. If it wasn’t clear by the bruises covering my body and Gentry’s black eye, I went through a lot last night trying to finally make him apart of my past. Please leave.”

  Jensen looks at me, an indecipherable look in his eye before he storms out of the room. Tanner’s been looking out the window for the last ten minutes, a frustrated and pained look on his face. He starts to walk out but stops in the doorway and looks back at me. “Was he why you never came?” he asks.

  I give a low bitter laugh that’s filled with all the pain of my memories. “No,” I answer. “That’s a story for another day.”

  Tanner blanches at the sorrow in my voice and then walks from the room. Jesse sits on the bed next to me, his eyes locked on the television screen which is showing another picture of Gentry and I on our wedding day.

  “I always used to picture you in a wedding dress. But in those dreams, you were walking down the aisle to where I was waiting for you,” he says in a broken voice. He stands up and brushes a kiss across my cheek. “You were a beautiful bride, pretty girl,” he says, before he too leaves the room. I hear a crash downstairs and I jump. Shouting begins but I make no move to go downstairs and intervene. I want them to have a little taste of all that I’ve been through.

  I weep silent tears. They stream down my face, soaking the sheets that I still have pulled up to my chin. I can’t help but watch the highlight reel of Gentry and I’s life together. Each picture that they splash across the television screen holds a different memory than the one portrayed, memories filled with immense suffering.

  “I’m not yours anymore,” I whisper fervently as I stare at the screen. I wish I really believed that.

  2

  Then

  “I’m giving you a ride,” Jensen says gruffly after I get out of my last class of the day.

  The way he says it gives no room for argument and I give him a look to tell him I don’t appreciate his tone. I look around for Tanner. We had discussed that I would be spending the afternoon with Tanner before the guys’ practice, but he’s nowhere to be found. I ignore the hallway full of students who months after I started school, still follow my every move because of my friendship with them, the Sounds of Us, or as Amberlie likes to call them, “The Three.”

  “Where’s Tanner?” I ask, while obediently following Jensen out to the parking lot where his black Escalade waits for us. He opens the door and helps me inside before answering.

  “Tanner’s father unexpectedly came into town. Tanner is dealing with him.”

  I immediately start worrying about Tanner with Jensen’s pronouncement. From what I’ve hea
rd, Tanner’s father isn’t that great of a person. Something that Jensen and Tanner both have in common. “Will he be alright?” I ask, turning to look at Jensen who has a stressed look on his face.

  “Baby, he’ll let us know if he needs anything. Don’t worry,” Jensen says, and I try to relax in the plush leather seat. We drive for twenty minutes and I realize that I have no idea where we’re going.

  “This isn’t the part where you tell me you’re taking me somewhere to kill me, is it?” I ask, only half joking.

  Jensen scoffs and then clears his throat. “I’m taking you to my house,” he says, and my eyebrows shoot through my forehead. “Is that okay?” he asks hesitantly.

  “Sure,” I say, staring out my window as we pull into another neighborhood of mansions. All three of the guys are beyond wealthy, but while much of Jesse’s neighborhood could still pass as a regular suburban neighborhood, there’s no mistaking Jensen’s for anything but a neighborhood for the upper class. We pass mansion after mansion, each one bigger than the one before. We get to the end of the street and Jensen pulls into the driveway of a house that looks like it’s made up entirely of glass. A giant glass house. You somehow can’t see inside the house despite the floor to ceiling windows, but a shiver runs down my spine because it feels like people are watching us from inside.