“No, it won’t,” I say softly but with determination enunciating every syllable. “I know you must think me young and foolish, but he is the one for me and nothing you say will change it.”
My mom waves her hand at me dismissively and gives me her back, walking toward the kitchen. “Don’t be silly, Joslyn. I’m sure you were an easy target for him. I have to say though, I’m incredibly disappointed in this company. Assigning someone like that to your protection. I’m sure he took advantage of you and your vulnerability.”
I follow her into the kitchen, my blood boiling so hot I feel I could detonate as she talks.
She picks up her phone and says, “I’m going to call them right now and terminate our services. We can find someone else tomorrow.”
“Mom,” I snap at her but she ignores me.
Instead, she flips through her contacts and keeps talking. “Yes, I’m quite sure he took advantage of you.”
“He did not,” I yell at her and snatch the phone from her hands. My mom blanches and blinks at me in surprise as her mouth forms into a tiny “O.” “I made the first move. I asked him to kiss me, but before that, we had become really good friends. This isn’t some passing fancy for me. It’s real.”
She stands still, rooted to the spot. The paleness of her complexion recedes and starts turning red over my audacity. I press my advantage while I can. “You don’t have to worry about having him fired. He’s resigning.”
And now, she seems to not have anything to say. My mom merely stands there and just stares at me as if she has no clue who I am. Has no idea what I just said.
I have nothing further to say, though, as I’ve said the most important part. That Kynan is now an important part of my life, and that he’s going to have priority with many things.
Finally, she speaks and it’s with a voice so quiet, I can barely hear her. “I don’t like this, Joslyn. You have a career that is getting ready to skyrocket. Whatever Ian has for us, I think it’s bigger than you ever dared dream. You have to be ready to make a big move and if you’re involved with someone, it will tie you down. It will diminish your dreams.”
“No, it won’t.” I immediately put forth my denial.
“Yes, it will,” she says sadly. “It will distract you. Trust me, I know. I remember what young love was like. Also trust this... this is not the best thing for you right now.”
I inhale a deep breath, hold it a moment, and ask for peace to fill me. After I exhale, I tell her, “You can’t dictate what my heart feels. You can’t have sole discretion to decide what’s best for me. Now, I can’t expect you to understand what’s inside me because even I can’t put it quite into intelligible words, but I do expect you—as my mother—to respect my feelings. If you can’t do that, Mom, we are going to have issues going forward.”
I did it. For the first time in my singing career, I’ve just stood up to my business manager—or mom—however you choose to look at it. I staked my position and I’m not budging.
As she considers what I said, she must see something in my bearing that leads her to believe what I’m saying. That makes her understand that I can’t be pushed right now, and I’m not going to relent where Kynan is concerned. It may be new to me, but that makes it all the more precious and I must protect it.
“Okay,” she says with a slow nod of her head and a forced smile. “Fine. Date Kynan. I hope it brings you great joy. But please, please... do me the favor of not standing Ian up tonight. This is too important to blow off and if you and Kynan really care for each other, you’ll have thousands of other opportunities to go out to dinner with him. If you don’t see Ian tonight, you may never have another chance again.”
My body sags with relief because I caught the most important words she could have given me.
Fine. Date Kynan.
I have her blessing on that and she respects that he’s important to me.
That makes me feel generous and also because I know she’s right, I can’t miss what could be the meeting of a lifetime in regard to my career, I give her back a little peace of mind. “Of course I’ll come to dinner tonight. I can’t pass up this opportunity and Mom... I am excited about this. Thank you for working so hard to make it happen.”
This mollifies her a tiny bit. I get a half smile but she still manages a disapproving tone in her voice. “Well, thank you for recognizing my hard work. I really have put my heart and soul into securing this contract with Ian. Just promise me you won’t let anything distract you from your rise upward. You are moving up and I don’t want that to get derailed by some—”
“I promise,” I interject, before she can denigrate what I have with Kynan.
“Okay, then,” she says stiffly. “I’m just going to run out on a quick errand. Make sure you’re ready to go when I return at 5:30PM. And wear that black dress... the one with the capped sleeves.”
“Sure,” I say genially, accepting that she still needs to have some control.
When she leaves, I pull my phone out of my purse. The minute I turn it on, I see Kynan’s text and I can’t contain the yip of excitement that pops out of my mouth.
I don’t bother responding but dial him instead.
He answers almost immediately. “How did it go?”
Rather than give him the info he requested, I can’t help but share my excitement about his job. “You didn’t have to resign. I’m so relieved. I was feeling just awful about it.”
“It’s cool, love,” he says and I get all tingly over him calling me “love.” It’s so classically British but it’s the tone that makes it extra special. “Now tell me how it went on your end.”
“Mom wasn’t as accepting but I got her on board with it,” I tell him. “But I can’t see you tonight for dinner like we’d planned.”
“Why?” he asks curiously but in no way put out. “What’s up?”
I’m relieved he can roll with changes in plans, but then again, Kynan is so laid back, I figured he would. “Apparently Ian is here in Las Vegas and wants to meet for dinner. He has a contract for representation for me to sign, and apparently I’ve had some type of big offer already he wants to tell me about.”
“That’s awesome, Joslyn,” Kynan exclaims with enthusiasm. “I’m proud of you.”
“Thanks,” I say with a smile on my face but also a sadness in my heart. I have the sinking feeling that good things are coming my way but they may take other good things away from me. “Will you still come to my show tonight?”
“Wild horses couldn’t keep me away,” he tells me.
“And um... can we still go to your place after?” I ask hesitantly, my face heating up. I want to feel him again. On me, inside of me, all over me, but it’s embarrassing to me to ask.
Kynan chuckles darkly and lowers his voice. My skin prickles when he says, “You bet your arse you’re coming over. You have no idea the things I have planned for you.”
For a brief moment, I consider saying to hell with my career and just taking an Uber to wherever Kynan is right now so I can demand he do the things he just promised.
But I can’t, and I’m laughing when I tell him I can’t wait to see him later.
Chapter 15
Kynan
Cash Sorles stands outside of Joslyn’s dressing room as I walk down the hall. I wasn’t sure who Jerico would replace me with, but he’s a good choice. He doesn’t have any military background but sure as hell knows a lot about guns and hand-to-hand combat. I need to make time to take him out for a beer and find out his back story. I know it’s got to be interesting.
He sees me coming and lifts his chin. “What’s up?”
“Not much,” I tell him. Pointing at the door, I ask, “She in there by herself?”
Cash nods and doesn’t seem surprised to see me here. That tells me he knows I’m involved with her and that’s why he is now on guard duty. He also doesn’t seem to be amused by it, which is good as I’d hate to have to impart some manners to him if he were to think it funny.
I give a two-knuckle rap against the door and wait for Joslyn to call me in. I step over the threshold, and then I barely get the door closed before she’s flying across the tiny room to launch herself into my arms. It’s the first time we’ve seen each other since I dropped her off today from the airport but even that is enough time for doubts to arise in such a new relationship, especially since we both have had some major things happening in the hours since.
I’m immediately relieved to see that she’s as happy to see me as I am her, and I’m also incredibly aroused as her mouth seals onto mine for a deep, hot kiss. My hands palm her ass and squeeze, and I try to think if we have time to fool around before someone would barge in on us.
That’s like a cold bucket of water dropped on me as I know that her mom and Michel are probably lurking around somewhere.
I no sooner let her slide down my body, ending the kiss with a tiny peck to her forehead, than the door is pushing open behind me. I move both Joslyn and me out of the way, and Michel sashays in.
I have to say, I thought it really weird that Joslyn was friends with a gay man that was twelve years her senior, but after spending the first five minutes in their presence together, I got it. They’re a lot alike in their core personalities. Both incredibly caring, to the point they defer to others’ happiness, and they both share the same sense of humor. I never questioned the age difference since.
“Hey, girlfriend and boyfriend,” he chirps as he carries his huge makeup case over to the vanity. He doesn’t pay us any mind, and he starts unloading his wares.
Leaning toward Joslyn, I whisper in her ear. “Did you tell Michel about us?”
“Yes,” she whispers back. “And frankly, I’m surprised he’s not making a big deal about it.”
“I’m not making a big deal about it,” Michel simpers, “because I knew it would happen. A blind man could see it.”
“Huh,” I huff out.
“Really?” Joslyn asks Michel curiously.
“Really,” he affirms, and then turns to face us although he’s all business as he speaks directly to Joslyn. “Now, I have to go over to wardrobe and make sure the costumes are ready. I’ll be back in about fifteen to start your makeup so get in your robe.”
“Yes, sir,” she says with a mock salute, which makes me snort.
When Michel struts back out, I move to take Joslyn back in my arms, as I’d like to have one more kiss before her mom storms in on us. Instead, she holds her palms out to me and shakes her head.
“We don’t have much time before Mom gets here,” she whispers uncomfortably. “But I have to tell you something and it can’t wait until after the show.”
I go on hyper alert, every nerve in my body firing. Putting a hand to the back of her neck, I give her a gentle squeeze and try to keep the worry out of my tone. “What’s wrong?”
Joslyn pulls my hand away from her neck by latching onto my wrist and leading me over to the small love seat. She sits down, pulling me along. I sit with enough distance between us that I can angle her way to look at her as she talks.
She worries at her bottom lip and can’t seem to open up the conversation.
“Did something happen at dinner tonight with Ian?” I hazard a guess. Because that’s the only major thing that’s happened since we talked a few hours ago.
Joslyn head-bobs quickly in acknowledgment. “Yes. I signed his contract to represent me, then he had more documents for me to look at. A tentative offer to attach to a movie role provided I do well at the audition.”
“A movie role?” I ask, perplexed. Joslyn’s a singer. We’ve talked about her dreams and they never included acting.
“It’s a role where the heroine is an aspiring singer and it’s about her clawing her way to the top,” she tells me. “It’s supposedly gritty and heavy on drama.”
“Can you act?” I inquire and realize that might be a shitty thing to ask, but I know Joslyn. She’s critical of her own talents.
She gives me a look that tells me just how much I narrowed in on her worry. “No,” she hisses at me in a low voice, I guess afraid her mom could be listening on the other side of the door or something. “I have no clue how to act. Never thought about it.”
“Then why offer it to you?” I ask her, and then feel the need to amend. “Not that I don’t think you could do anything you set your mind to, but this is huge, Joslyn. I mean really huge.”
“I know,” she says almost hysterically. “This isn’t about surpassing my dreams. This is about being something I never even wanted before.”
“Wow,” I mutter as my mind starts to race.
“Justin Voss has already signed on,” she says, her voice actually squeaking a bit in her distress.
I raise my eyebrows and shake my head.
She rolls her eyes. “Justin Voss. Only one of the hottest new actors out there.”
“Cripes,” I breathe out.
“What am I going to do?” Joslyn almost starts to cry and I pull her into me. “I can’t act. I’ll be a total failure. But Mom really wants me to do this and I don’t want to let her down.”
I give Joslyn a hard hug, but then I push her back so I can look at her face. I bend a little so I can peer right at her. “I’m quite sure you pointed out to Ian you’ve never acted before. What did he say?”
“He said he had Hollywood’s best acting coach on standby to work with me and that he could tell by the way I handled myself on stage that I would have some basic acting skills I could easily develop. He didn’t seem to think it was an issue.”
My fear for Joslyn—stemming from her fear—recedes immediately. “Well, that’s good. I mean, he has confidence in you. So it’s probably nothing to worry about.”
Her gaze drops from mine and I have to put my fingers under her chin to force her to look at me. “Talk to me. What’s truly bothering you?”
She shakes her head like she can’t bear to say the words, so I patiently wait. Finally, she lets out an exhale and unloads. “Yes, I’m wigged out they may want me for a big movie role and I have no clue if I’m any good at it. But more than anything, I don’t feel ready for this. It’s just moving so fast and I’m so overwhelmed.”
“How soon do you have to decide?” I ask her.
“They want me in LA for an audition this weekend.” Her face is awash with misery at the prospect. “And if I do good, they’ll offer me the part. They apparently want me for my voice, but if I can act, it’s mine.”
“Wow,” I say as I rub my hand over the back of my neck. It’s a lot to take in.
“I’ve been going crazy waiting for you to get here so I could tell you. You have to tell me what to do, Kynan. I need someone objective because my mom is pushing me hard.”
“You think I’m objective?” I ask her incredulously. Because the way I’m feeling right now, I want to pick her up, throw her over my shoulder, and carry her down to Mexico. I have enough money saved up from my days in the Royal Marines that we could buy a nice little hacienda and live happily ever after.
“Of course you’re objective,” she murmurs with a smile. “You’re the most upstanding person I know.”
I want to curse the heavens for giving me this amazing, complex woman who makes it so hard not to just fall deeply in love with her, as well as giving me a conscience where I can’t put myself as the top priority in her life. I have to make sure she has good advice all the way around.
“I think you have to do the audition, Joslyn. If you don’t, you’ll always wonder at what might have been. And you have nothing to lose doing it. If you’re bad, then you’re bad, and you know your life will be as an amazing singer. Ian will have another opportunity for you. But if you’re good, you may have stumbled onto something that you were meant to be and never even knew it.”
Her eyes get shiny and her voice rasps when she says, “But I’m also supposed to be yours, and I have the feeling this is going to take that away.”
“Never,” I promise her, although I can’t know that to be true.
“But you can’t worry about that right now. You have enough worries on your plate trying to figure out whether or not you can even act.”
She snickers and then giggles, and the wetness leaves her eyes.
The door flies open and Michel comes back in, casting us a cursory glance. He snaps his fingers with impatience. “Robe. Get in your robe. We have lots to do to take your beauty to the stratosphere, darling.”
Both Joslyn and I laugh and I give her a quick kiss on the mouth. “Get in your robe. I’m going to run out to get you a Frappuccino. I’ll be back in a few.”
“You are the best boyfriend ever,” she exclaims and then kisses me not so briefly and a little bit hot. I groan and push her away. Michel watches and fans himself dramatically.
I leave the dressing room and head down a hall that will lead to the cast entrance/exit. Just as I’m opening the door to step out, Madeline is on the other side getting ready to enter.
We both startle in surprise, but I give her a smile. “Madeline... how are you?”
Her lips press into a flat line. “I wish I could say I was well, but you must know I’m not happy about this thing with you and Joslyn.”
“I can only imagine,” I reply dryly.
“She has big things ahead of her,” she tells me pointedly. “Please don’t be selfish and hold her back. Don’t ruin this for her.”
The crass Brit inside me would tell her exactly what to do with those sentiments but I have to remember this is Joslyn’s mom and if I have anything to do with it, she’s going to be in my life a long time.
“Madeline,” I say in a warm, sincere voice. “I will only ever support Joslyn and that includes a career that might lead her away from here. You don’t ever have to worry about it. Her success is more important to me than anything else.”
She blinks at me in confusion, then her eyes narrow somewhat in distrust.
I nod and add on, “I even encouraged her to go for that movie audition. I think she’d be amazing.”
Wicked Force Page 10
