If I Belong With You: A Sweet and Engaging Christian Romance (Seriously Sweet St Louis Book 1)

by Cindy Kirk

  “You’re right.” A deep resignation ran through Emily’s voice. “He is really into the stuff. While I like him, I’m not sure I still want to see him.”

  Personally, Angel applauded the girl’s decision; professionally, she didn’t want the relationship to end. Not just yet. If the two quit dating, her pipeline to information would dry up. Still, nothing was more important than Emily’s safety.

  “Does he ever use when he’s with you?” Angel stared at the ornate light pole at the end of the drive. She thought of all the kids she’d hung out with when she’d really been in high school—the ones who’d spent their days and nights strung out on one thing or another. Now most of them were dead. Or in prison.

  “No. He never has.” Emily rested her chin on her hand and sighed. “He talks about it a lot. Keeps telling me he knows I’d like it if I’d just give it a try.”

  “What do you say when he puts on the pressure?”

  “That it’s not for me. But he sure is persistent. In some strange way I think he feels if I do it, too, that means it’s okay that he does it.” Emily shook her head. “I know it sounds weird, but I really think it’s important to him that I think what he’s doing is right. It sounds paranoid, but I’m afraid he’ll try to give me some stuff without me knowing.”

  Angel swallowed hard. “I used to have friends who would slip stuff into open cans of soda. I got so I wouldn’t drink out of an already opened can or eat at any of their parties.”

  “That’s smart.” Emily sighed. “But then, what’s smart about hanging out with druggies? Tonight I started asking myself, why am I doing this? Why am I putting myself in this type of situation?”

  Angel knew the answer as well as Emily did.

  “Maybe Mike’s trying to change,” Angel said, not answering Emily’s question. “He came to Bible study tonight, didn’t he?”

  “He might have been in the room, but I doubt he got anything out of the lesson. He and Jarvis spent most of the evening laughing and talking.” Emily shook her head. “To tell you the truth, I’m not sure why he came.”

  “Didn’t you say you thought it was because Jake, er, Mr. Weston came?”

  “That’s what I thought.”

  “But now?”

  “I’m not so sure.” Emily reached back and massaged her neck with one hand. “They hardly talked to each other, and Mr. Weston seemed as surprised as anyone that Mike was here.”

  Angel agreed. She’d watched Jake out of the corner of her eye all evening and there was no indication that the boys came to meet with him. Actually, Mike had spent more time talking to the principal than he had to Jake.

  That was something else that didn’t make any sense. “What was the deal with Mr. Jorgens? Why did he come by?”

  Emily shrugged. “Beats me. He told my mother he was just in the neighborhood. But he told me he had something to discuss with Mr. Weston.”

  Tom Jorgens.

  Mike Blaine.

  Jake Weston.

  Was there a connection? Were the pieces finally starting to fall into place?

  Angel jumped to her feet and bid Emily a hasty goodbye. She couldn’t wait to call Crow.

  Chapter Eight

  The night sky was clear and the lights from the midway sparkled like brightly colored jewels. The aroma of buttered popcorn filled the air.

  Angel inhaled deeply, and a shiver of excitement raced through her. Not only was she at a carnival, she was here with him! She glanced at Jake walking by her side. Dressed casually in a blue cotton polo and a pair of khaki shorts, the guy looked more like a GQ model than a history teacher.

  She’d been following him for the past couple of days. Running into him at the entrance to the carnival had been no accident, but getting him to agree to accompany her on a walk through the midway had been a stroke of genius.

  They were far enough from Woodland Hills that they shouldn’t run into anyone they knew. How could it get much better?

  If only she didn’t feel so jittery. Her insides bounced around as if she’d swallowed a handful of those Mexican jumping beans she’d had as a child.

  But she wasn’t a child; she was an adult. An adult who now regretted not eating lunch. She jumped on the excuse and decided that must be the reason she felt so shaky. Angel took a deep breath and slipped her arm through his. “I’m dying for some cotton candy. How ’bout you?”

  An expression of unease crossed his handsome face, but to her surprise he didn’t pull his arm away. “Sure.”

  They stopped in front of a stand with bags of pink and blue fluff suspended from the ceiling. A huge tub was in constant rotation, spinning the sweet treat right before their eyes.

  Angel reminded herself that she needed to play this cool, to be natural. She leaned over the counter and pointed to the tub. “I want the fresh stuff.”

  Jake chuckled and laid a couple of bills on the shiny metal counter. “Make that two.”

  The woman swirled the spun sugar onto paper cones and handed them each one.

  Angel pulled off a huge chunk and popped the entire piece into her mouth. She smiled at Jake. “Thanks.”

  “No problem.” His gaze lingered on her lips. Her heart picked up speed and an odd fluttering gripped her belly.

  Jake took a step closer. His head lowered. She lifted her face.

  “Angie!” A shrill voice yelled above the crowd’s noise. “Over here.”

  Angel stiffened. She immediately took a step back.

  Jake stared, his green eyes a dark jade. “She said ‘Angie,’ not ‘Angel.’”

  “I know.” Angel ignored the pounding in her chest. What had made her move back just as he was getting close?

  “Does it bother you that I’m a teacher?” he asked, his expression impassive.

  A part of her that had nothing to do with the investigation wanted to scream, “Yes. I’m a student. No matter how much you like me, it’s not right.”

  Instead she swallowed the words and her disappointment and forced a smile. “If it bothered me, I wouldn’t be here.”

  A tiny smile played at the corners of Jake’s lips. “Good.”

  Good? What had gotten into the man? Ever since she’d arrived at Woodland Hills High School, he’d maintained his distance. Now, all of a sudden, he seemed to have cast all inhibitions aside. It didn’t make any sense, and that in itself sent up a red flag.

  “I’m glad you decided to get over your hang-up about younger women.” The minute the words left her mouth she would have given anything to take them back. Had she gone crazy? What was she trying to do? Push him away?

  But again Jake surprised her. He laughed. “You’re not a typical eighteen-year-old.”

  Her breath caught in her throat. “I’m not?”

  “No.” He took her elbow and propelled her down the dusty aisle between food vendors. “You’re mature for your age. Remember?”

  “Ya think so?” Angel turned, and suddenly they were face to face, so close she could feel the beating of his heart.

  “Yeah, I’m sure of it.”

  Sure? He was sure of it? He thought she was eighteen. How could he possibly think this was right?

  “Where do we go from here?” Her voice came out as a husky whisper, giving no clue to her tangled emotions.

  His smile widened to a grin, and he stepped back and pointed to the sky. “I don’t think we have anywhere to go but up.”

  She lifted her gaze. The biggest Ferris wheel she’d ever seen towered above them. It lit up the sky. “It’s huge.”

  “It’s a double one. They’re the best,” he said with the authority of one who knows his Ferris wheels. “You’re not afraid of heights, are you?”

  Excitement surged. When she was little there had never been enough money for fairs or carnivals…or Ferris wheels.

  “You aren’t, are you?” He sounded worried, and she wondered which of them would be the most disappointed if she said yes.

  “Me?” She lifted her chin, shoved her fears aside and f
lashed him a cocky grin. “I’m not afraid of anything.”

  It wasn’t bad going up, but her stomach rose to her throat each time the big wheel began its downward spin. It was only bearable when she scrunched her eyes shut and clutched Jake’s arm.

  “Having fun?”

  They were on their way up again. Angel opened her eyes and loosened her death grip. “It’s great.”

  “Are you sure?” His eyes were filled with concern instead of the teasing glint that she’d expected. “For a moment there, you looked a little green.”

  She swallowed her breakfast for the second time. “No, really. I’m fine.”

  They slowly ascended, and Angel took advantage of the opportunity to keep her eyes open. The view was spectacular. The lights of the carnival lay before them, spread out in all directions. The people below appeared small and insignificant, and heaven above within reach.

  A light breeze fanned Angel’s cheek, and for the first time since she’d run into Jake, she relaxed.

  She turned to tell him she thought she was getting the hang of it, just as the big wheel emitted a loud groan. It jerked to a stop. Their car swung wildly.

  Jake’s arm slipped protectively around her shoulder, and he pulled her close.

  “What happened?” She tried to keep the panic from her voice.

  “I think—” he peered over the edge “—that we’re broken down.”

  Lightheaded, Angel closed her eyes and exhaled a loud breath.

  “It’ll be okay.” His arm tightened around her. “They’ll have it fixed in no time.”

  Without opening her eyes, Angel rested her head back against his arm. “Just give me a minute.”

  “I thought you said heights didn’t bother you.” His voice was low and teasing.

  It was obvious he was trying to distract her, and even though it didn’t work she still appreciated his efforts.

  Angel opened her eyes but kept her gaze firmly fixed on his face. She refused to look down. For now her world would be this little compartment—and Jake Weston. “It might be hard to believe, but I’ve never been this high before.”

  “No way.” He tilted his head, clearly skeptical. “What about in a plane?”

  “I’ve never flown.”

  “You’re kidding.”

  He was just making conversation so there really was no need to be honest, but for some reason she answered truthfully. “No. In fact, I’ve never even been out of the state.”

  “Now I know you’re putting me on.”

  “I wish I were.” She remembered all the places she’d read about. “I used to dream about traveling to faraway places. For years I dreamed of Hawaii. I’d imagine myself wearing a grass skirt, climbing a volcano or lounging on the beach. I could smell the ocean and feel the sand between my toes. It’s almost laughable.”

  “Why was it laughable?” His gaze was puzzled. “Lots of people go to Hawaii.”

  “Not those who live in East St. Louis.” Now there was a place she remembered all too vividly. She only needed to close her eyes to be there again, to see the garbage-strewn streets, the buildings that hadn’t seen a paintbrush in years, the gangs on the corners. She kept her eyes wide open. “It’s hard enough just to survive.”

  “I didn’t know you’d lived there. What was it like?”

  “Picture hell on earth.” She couldn’t think of a better way to describe it. “Why?”

  For a moment, Jake stared at his hands and didn’t answer. When he finally spoke, the strain in his voice matched the tightness in his jaw. “My brother taught at a high school in East St. Louis. He…was killed by some punks that he’d tried to befriend. You might even know them.”

  Angel didn’t ask their names. “I’m sorry about your brother. I can’t even begin to imagine how hard that must have been.”

  He chuckled but there was no humor in the sound. “It was God’s will.”

  “Who says?”

  “Everyone.”

  “Not me.”

  “That’s right,” he said. “You don’t believe.”

  Angel frowned as much in confusion as in reaction to the bitterness in his voice. “What are you talking about?”

  “At the Bible study, you said you didn’t believe.”

  Her spine stiffened. “I never said that.”

  “You implied it.”

  “Whatever.” For an instant she forgot where she was and scooted across the seat, trying to put some distance between them. The car shifted with the sudden movement, and automatically Angel’s gaze dropped. Her eyes widened and her stomach pitched.

  Firm gentle hands pulled her back.

  “Look at me,” he ordered in his no-nonsense teacher voice. “Take a deep breath.”

  Her gaze rose. For what seemed an eternity, they breathed in and out together until her panic subsided.

  “I’m okay now.”

  “Good.” He tenderly brushed back a strand of hair from her face, then pulled her close, pressing her head to his chest. “There’s nothing for you to be afraid of, Angel. I won’t let anything happen to you.”

  Angel wanted to tell him she didn’t need his protection. For years she’d dodged bullets and knives and fists and had always come out on top. Crow called her a survivor, jokingly telling the other cops that she was one woman who didn’t need a man.

  It was true. Physically, she could hold her own. Emotionally, she’d always been able to keep her distance.

  Until she’d met Jake Weston. From the first time she’d seen the teacher, it had been different.

  Teacher.

  Angel froze. She wanted nothing more than to push him away and tell him to remember she was a student. His student. But she couldn’t. She had too important a role to play. Her only concession was to lift her head from its comfortable position against his chest and swivel in his arms to meet his gaze head-on. “You don’t need to worry about me. I can take care of myself.”

  “You know my brother said something like that to me once.” Jake looked at her for what felt like a long time. “The next week he was dead.”

  A chill that had nothing to do with the increasing breeze from the north swept through her. Had Jake turned to drugs as a way to deal with the loss? “Tell me about him.”

  He paused, and she waited for him to tell her to mind her own business. But he didn’t. He took a deep breath, and the words came slow and halting. “Jim was…great. Everyone liked him. He had this way of bringing out the best in people.”

  His voice caught, and he shifted in the seat, his arm moving to his side. Angel knew it was her cue to move. Instead she scooted even closer. Her finger traced a pattern across the front of his shirt, and she kept her gaze low.

  “What happened?”

  “His apartment was burglarized. He came back while they were still there. They killed him.” Jake recited the events matter-of-factly. He could have been talking about a stranger rather than his own brother.

  But his breath came in shallow puffs and the muscles in his arm were strung tight.

  “I’m sorry, Jake.”

  “Yeah, well, me too.”

  “I don’t know why your brother’s life was cut short. Sometimes things just happen.” Angel slipped her arm across his chest, hoping he would find some comfort in the simple closeness.

  “It’s hard,” he said. “I thought he’d pull through. I never got a chance to tell him I loved him. Or even to say how proud I was of him.”

  “He knew.”

  “I don’t know.” Jake sighed and turned away. “What does it matter, anyway?”

  But Angel knew it did matter. A lot. “Did your brother love you?”

  “Of course he did.”

  “How do you know? Did he tell you?”

  “Of course not. I just kn—” Jake stopped, and she could see him ponder what he’d been about to say. Finally he nodded. “You’re right. He knew how I felt.”

  Angel smiled. “I knew you were a smart guy.”

  “Did you?” His voic
e was low and husky.

  She shivered. Throwing caution overboard, she leaned closer. “You know what else?”

  His eyes darkened again to a smoky jade. “What?”

  “I want to kiss you.” She ignored her own good sense and pressed her lips to his. They were just as she’d imagined. Soft. Warm. Wonderful.

  For a second he didn’t respond, and it appeared that her bliss would be short-lived. Then his arms tightened about her, and he answered with a kiss that left her toes tingling.

  “Oh, Jake. Wow.” Her fingers wove deep into his hair, and she lifted her face, eager for more.

  “What am I going to do with you, Angel?” His mouth lowered—

  Suddenly, she jerked back. The wheel let out a horrific squeal, and she wanted to shriek along with it.

  The wheel began to move. Angel straightened, her heart racing in her chest. She patted her hair with trembling fingers.

  What am I going to do with you?

  What had she been thinking? Kissing him like that? More importantly, what had he been thinking? He’d responded as if she were a woman rather than a child.

  Disappointment rose from the depths of her soul. She knew she should be rejoicing that she’d succeeded in breaking down another barrier between them. That’s what she’d been hired to do, wasn’t it?

  Why then did she feel so bad? And why couldn’t she shake the feeling that this was all wrong?

  They were almost at the bottom. In seconds, the attendant would open the metal bar that had held them in, and they’d be back in the real world…where he was her teacher…where she was his student…where she still had a case to break.

  She forced a smile. “So when do you want to do this again?”

  Angel could have texted but she needed to hear his voice.

  He picked up immediately. “Dan Reilly.”

  She smiled at the familiar raspy voice. “It’s me. Angel.”

  “Sweetheart, it’s past midnight.” Worry edged his words. “Is anything wrong?”

  “Everything is fine. I just hadn’t talked to you in a while and—”

  “Angel. You don’t call in the middle of the night to say hello. What’s going on?” The police sergeant was smart and shrewd, and she knew he’d never settle for less than the truth. He’d also never let up until she told him. “I was talking to a friend tonight…”