My heart felt like it was going to explode. Pops had babysat the girls last night. I prayed he hadn’t seen Raheem taking me to my bedroom.
“What happened when you saw him?” I asked nervously. I stood up. My hands trembled as I grabbed my robe off the floor and put it on.
“I saw him. I said hello and told him not to worry, that I’d make sure I put you to bed.”
I looked at him as tears streamed down my face. Last night we’d been loud. I was so ashamed of myself. I didn’t know how I would ever face Pops again. I was married to his son, and he had heard me have sex with another man in our bed, in our house, while our kids slept a few doors down. I wanted to die. The air reeked of the stench of our late-night sex. I dug in my closet and found some strong vanilla-scented candles to try to mask the aroma. I lit them, but who was I fooling? I was sure Pops already knew what had gone down last night.
“Oh yeah, that candle will definitely cover the sex in the air in here.” He laughed.
“Get out! Get the fuck out. How could you do this to me? Why would you bring me here? Why would you fuck me in my house? Why would you talk to Chris’s father?”
I slid down onto my knees and buried my face in my hands.
Raheem had used me, but I was furious with myself for letting it happen.
“Next time, maybe your husband will think twice before attacking someone when their back is turned. I hope his father tells him what it sounds like when a real man fucks you.”
I jumped up and rushed him. Swinging wildly, I punched him in the chest and face. Raheem grabbed my arms and tossed me onto the bed. I fell back onto the sheets, then slid down to the floor, taking the comforter and two pillows with me.
“Get the fuck out! You’re ruining my life,” I cried.
“Calm it down, drama queen. I didn’t do shit to you. You did this shit to yourself,” Raheem said coldly.
“I don’t interrupt your family life. You don’t see me calling your wife or going to your house,” I retorted.
“Truth be told, I don’t have a wife for you to call.”
“What?”
“I’ve been divorced for over five years. I didn’t want you to get all clingy on me and think we’d be more than what we were. All I really wanted from you was a steady piece of ass.” Raheem sneered.
That hurt. He had played me like I was some silly teenage girl. He had had me believing he loved me, but everything he’d said was lies and bullshit. He had hurt me, but I was not going to cry. He didn’t deserve my tears.
He opened my bedroom door and made his way downstairs. I slowly followed behind him. Pops was sitting at the kitchen table, eating a bowl of cereal, watching Raheem and me. I couldn’t bring myself to look at him. I was ashamed of myself. Raheem smiled and gave Pops a nod. Pops’s eyes narrowed. He slapped the table and stood up. He stomped toward Raheem, ready to kick his ass. I quickly ran in front of Pops to slow him down.
Raheem bolted out the door, got into his truck, and sped off.
“Who was that?” Pops yelled.
“Pops, please let me explain—”
“You disrespected me, my son, yourself, this house, and your family. I love my grandchildren more than anything in this world, but I will not allow you to blatantly disrespect my son. From now on, you’re on your own. I will no longer be your babysitter when you want to cheat on my son.”
I held on to his arm, but he pulled away from me.
“Pops, please . . . It’s not like that. I was drunk. Raheem tricked me—”
“I heard you two last night. It sounded like you enjoyed being tricked. When you two came in the house, you were laughing and kissing on him. It didn’t look like there was a lot of resistance on your part.” Pops looked at me with such disdain.
“Pops, I was drunk—”
“That’s no excuse. You’re an adult. You’re responsible for your actions. You know your limits. If you’re drinking so much that you can’t control yourself whenever you go out, then you have a problem and should get professional help.”
I hated being chastised. I hated it when Chris did it, and I didn’t appreciate Pops doing it now. I had to take a deep breath before I said something I’d regret. Everything was falling apart. With Chris being MIA and with my troubles at work, I needed Pops more than ever to be around for the kids.
“Pops, please. The kids need you right now. I don’t know when Chris is coming back.”
At first, he looked like he was softening, but he went right back to being rigid. “No. I’ll visit them as much as I can. I’ll even pick them up from school from time to time, but as of now, make other arrangements, because you and Chris are on your own. I have my own problems to deal with.”
I knew there was no reaching him. The only thing I could do was beg Pops not to tell Chris about last night.
“I’ll make other arrangements, Pops, but please, can you not tell Chris what happened last night?” I begged. “I’ll talk to him and work on our marriage, but if he finds out about this, it will ruin any chances of us getting back together.”
“I don’t know. After what I witnessed last night, I don’t know if it’s best to work things out. It’s one thing if you actively work on improving your relationship. It’s another to just want to stay married to my son because it’s comfortable for you.”
Something in my face must have changed his mind, because Pops sighed and shook his head.
“I’m not going to tell Chris. I’m going to put the responsibility on your conscience and decency as a human being to tell him yourself.”
He picked up his leather veteran’s jacket and put it on. I could barely look him in his eyes. I couldn’t imagine what he thought of me.
“Pops, wait.” I hugged him, but he didn’t say anything. “Thanks for everything. My whole world is going up in flames—”
“Spare me your bullshit! I don’t have time for your crocodile tears.”
He pulled away from me and walked to the door. When he opened it, Chris was standing there with his keys in his hand.
“Hey, Pops,” Chris said.
“Son,” he replied, then walked past him and out the door.
I stood there, shocked to see that Chris was home. Of all the days for him to return, it had to be today. I prepared myself for another drama-filled morning.
Chris
“What’s his problem? Is he still pissed because I haven’t been here?” I dropped my duffel bag and backpack on the floor.
Karen hesitated to answer. She nodded, ran to me, and hugged me. “He’s a little disappointed in you, but I don’t care. I’m just happy you’re home.”
I was tentative at first, but I warmed up and accepted her embrace.
“I missed you so much, Chris. I’m so sorry. I was stupid. I don’t want to lose you.”
As angry as I was with Karen, there was a part of me that didn’t want to pull away, so I let her hold me.
“The kids are still sleeping. I want to talk to you upstairs while we have some alone time,” she said.
“Okay.”
We went upstairs to our bedroom. The comforters and pillows were on the floor. Karen quickly picked them up.
“I had a hard time sleeping last night,” she said.
It showed. She looked worn out. Her puffy eyes and her hoarse voice were telltale signs. Karen started talking as soon as I sat down on the bed. I could tell she was nervous.
“These two weeks you’ve been gone have been hell for me. I’m so sorry for hurting you, Chris. I was stupid. I was selfish. And I didn’t know what I had until you were gone. I’ll do whatever it takes to make us work. I never want to lose you again,” she pleaded.
She had so much guilt and remorse in her eyes, I couldn’t help but kiss her. Her tongue tasted like she’d been drinking. I wondered if she’d been drinking alone in our bedroom because she was depressed that I wasn’t here.
Karen wrapped her arms around my neck, and we kissed passionately. I’d slept with a lot of women while I wa
s away from home, but I had longed for Karen. I loved her, even after everything she’d done. She was the only woman I wanted. I opened her robe as she held my face and kissed me frantically. I kicked off my boots, took off my belt, unbuttoned my blue jeans, and pulled them off. When Karen took off her robe, I stared at her naked body. So many thoughts flooded my mind. Her thick, shapely legs had me turned on, but I kept thinking about her with Raheem. I kept imagining them fucking. I pushed the thoughts away, lifted her up, and placed her gently on the bed. I spread her thighs wide and put my mouth on her love. I wanted to savor her.
I licked her from the bottom of her vagina to the top of her clit. I sucked on it, basking in the sounds of her moans and groans. Hearing her pant and seeing her shudder as she came made me feel like a man. It felt good knowing I could still please my wife. My hands roamed her body. I sucked on her neck and rubbed her thigh. Karen moaned again and reached for my hardness. She locked her legs behind me and pushed me inside her. We made love unprotected and uninhibited. I thrust hard inside her as she coated me with her juices. Our grunts only added to our frantic, emotionally driven sex. I searched her eyes for happiness, but what I found was distance. She looked as if she was just going through the motions. She stopped me.
“Let me get on top, baby. I miss riding you,” she said.
Karen maneuvered on top of me and rode me wildly. Her head hung back as she held on to my chest. Karen bit her bottom lip and rocked her hips steadily on top of me. I could tell she was relishing the moment.
“Mmm. That’s it, baby. Ahhh. Mmm-hmm. Oh yeah,” she moaned.
I watched her enjoying herself. The sunlight coming through the window glinted off Karen’s wedding ring and hit my face. Knowing that she had probably worn that ring every time those other men fucked her infuriated me. All I could think about was her moaning the same things to Raheem that she did to me. I imagined him fucking her and pictured her enjoying it the same way. I wondered if they had worn protection or if she’d been free spirited about it, like she was with me right now. Before, when all I’d had were suspicions, I hadn’t had a real face to picture in my mind. But that had all changed. Raheem was real. I’d seen his face. I knew he’d fucked her countless times right under my nose. I didn’t know if she was in love with him, but I did know that she loved him, and that hurt. What made things even worse was I knew that there was another guy besides Raheem. I gradually lost my erection. I went limp inside her. Karen noticed and looked surprised.
“Are you okay, baby?” she asked.
I wasn’t okay. I felt like a fucking loser. My wife had me, my marriage had failed me, and now my body was failing me. Karen shifted off me, then stroked my manhood and went down on me. She revived that manly part. I wished she could revive my pride. When I was hard again, Karen slid under me. This time I was more attentive; I tried to focus on the act at hand. Karen’s legs were wrapped firmly around my back, and her eyes were closed tight. I opened her legs wide and pushed her knees back until they were by her ears and almost touched the headboard. I dove deeper inside her with each stroke.
“Mmm. Damn, baby! Yes! Give it to me,” she moaned.
When I thrust harder, she winced and closed her eyes.
“Look at me,” I ordered.
“Ooh, baby, I love it. Don’t stop.”
“Karen, open your eyes and look at me,” I demanded.
“Damn, baby.”
“Look at me!” I shouted.
Karen opened her eyes. She looked scared. I didn’t want her thinking of Raheem or Tyrell while we were making love; I needed to know she was here with me. I increased my pace. Every time Karen tried to close her eyes, I rammed my dick in her harder. She panted; her pussy pulsated on my manhood. Sexy moans and groans escaped her. Karen reached for a pillow, clutched it tightly to her face, and moaned into it to muffle herself, trying not to wake the kids.
Her body stiffened and then shook violently as she came.
“Oh my God! Cum inside me, baby. I want you to cum inside me!”
I didn’t want to cum. As I tried to fight the inevitable, I trembled. I didn’t want to enjoy it, but then my floodgates opened. I didn’t care that we were fucking raw. I didn’t pull out. I needed to feel like a man. I needed to feel like she was my woman. I held on to her shoulders, pushed myself deep inside her, and let my cum spew into her. When I was spent, I fell down onto the bed, exhausted. Karen rolled over onto her side. There were no words spoken or loving embraces. Silence engulfed the room. Now that our passion was sated, reality hit us, and our problems came back to the surface.
Karen reached out to touch me, but I pulled away. I didn’t want to be touched. She looked hurt. She shook her head and stood up, with her head down. Her voice was choked with emotion when she announced, “I’m going to take a shower.”
I nodded.
Karen picked out black boy shorts and a black bra from her dresser drawer. “I love you, Chris.”
I didn’t respond. I just stared at her.
“I understand if you can’t say it back to me yet . . . Can you?”
“I’m trying, Karen, but we can’t just slap a Band-Aid on our bullet wound of a relationship and think things are going to be patched up and fixed. Fucking me doesn’t negate that you were fucking other men.”
She looked hurt. We stared at each other for a while. Then, with her head down, Karen slowly walked into our bathroom. When I heard the water start to run in the shower, I sat up against the headboard. I was torn. I had enjoyed making love to my wife, but I didn’t like envisioning other men fucking her. I decided to surprise Karen in the shower. I got up and went to get some fresh underwear. I opened my dresser drawer and saw a folded piece of paper. I picked it up and opened it. Inside was a used condom. I couldn’t believe my eyes as I read the note.
Your wife loved this dick! Ask your old man how it sounds when she gets fucked properly. Call me when you see this so I can give you some pointers.
Yours truly, Raheem
I started to hyperventilate. The room spun. My hands shook. The condom had been in my dresser, which meant that Raheem had been here.
Ask your old man how it sounds when she gets fucked properly. Did Pops know? Did he fuck my wife in my house, in my bed, while my father was here? Where were my kids when this was happening? I needed answers now. I grabbed my phone out of my jeans, scrolled through my recent calls, and found Raheem’s number. I called him.
“What’s up, bitch?” Raheem answered.
“You sound real tough on the phone. Why don’t we meet up so I can fuck you up again?”
“I got something for you. I figured I’d fuck you up with this instead. Hold on. I’m gonna send you something.”
What can he possibly send me? I thought.
A few seconds later I received a text with a video. I swallowed; sweat dripped from my forehead.
“Go ahead. I’ll hold. Watch the video,” Raheem said confidently.
My heart beat wildly as I pressed PLAY. Hatred and rage coursed through my body as I watched Raheem fuck my wife in the same bed I’d made love to her countless times. I heard the same moans and groans that she’d made with me. I watched him peel off the condom and cum all over her face and mouth. My stomach turned. He was right. He’d inflicted more pain with this video than any punch or kick could ever deliver.
“Did you finish it? It was good, right? I left the condom in the drawer for your bitch ass,” he said.
“Fuck you!” I yelled.
“Oh, and just so you know, the rest of the night, I fucked her raw. Don’t worry. I’m done with her. I hope you didn’t kiss that bitch today. You wouldn’t want to taste the remnants of my dick in your mouth, would you?” Raheem laughed.
“Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you!” I yelled until I was hoarse.
“Checkmate, bitch!” He laughed and ended the call.
I hurriedly put on my clothes. My first thoughts were to just get the fuck out of there, but I needed answers.
I put my phone i
n my pocket, then trod heavily to the closed bathroom door. The humidity from her shower seeped under the door. I kicked the door so hard, it flew off the hinges. Karen screamed, backed away from me, and slipped in the shower. She cowered in fear as I stood over her.
“I can’t fucking believe you! Did you fuck him in our house? In our bed?”
Karen was terrified. She sat in a corner of the shower, shaking. “Chris, please! Wait! I can explain—”
“Explain?” I yanked her up off the shower floor, my grip tight on her arms. “Explain?”
“Chris, please listen to me. I was drunk. He took advantage of me. I never would’ve done that on purpose. I love you.”
“He took advantage of you?” I yelled.
I let her go, then pulled out my phone and showed her the video. Karen covered her mouth.
“It doesn’t look like he was taking advantage of you. It looks like . . . it looks like . . . you fucking enjoyed it. How could you do this to me? How could you disrespect me like this in our home?”
I put my phone back in my pants pocket and grabbed her again. I shook her vigorously.
“Answer me. Haven’t you humiliated me enough? Why do you want to hurt me? What more can you take from me?”
“Chris, please . . . You’re hurting me.”
Karen tried to free herself, but my grip was unyielding. Suddenly, I heard a knock on our bedroom door.
“Mommy, Daddy, what’s going on?” Jocelyn yelled.
“Daddy, why are you yelling?” Jaclyn asked, concerned.
“Let me go, Chris,” Karen shouted.
I released her. She put on her robe, ran to the bedroom door, and opened it.
“Girls, Daddy and Mommy are just talking loud. It’s nothing to worry about. Go downstairs and watch TV. We’ll come down soon,” Karen explained. Her voice was shaky, but she tried her best to sound calm.
“Okay,” Jaclyn said, then led her sister down the hallway.
I walked out of the bathroom and sat on the edge of the bed. Karen sat next to me. I got up. I didn’t want her near me.
Love and Happiness Page 14
