Dante & The Dark Seed

by C. J. Pizzurro

  Jeff looked to Dante, awaiting his response.

  “Have you ever felt alone, Jeff? Have you ever had one person in the world who was supposed to listen to you, and yet your words fell on deaf ears? This very same person would ignore you as you knelt in front of him, begging for him to listen, but instead, this person kept telling you their perspective was the only one that mattered. How would you feel?”

  Jeff fixed his glasses once more before responding, “Well, I can’t say. I’ve never been in a situation like that, but I have felt alone.”

  “Of course, that’s my point. I, not now, nor would I ever, harm myself. EVER. In that moment, I felt Earth wasn’t my home. I know I’m not crazy like my dad thinks I am.”

  “That should be everything I need,” Jeff said, closing the folder and left the room.

  This can’t be happening. Dante shut his eyes, hoping that when he opened them, he would be back at home. But as he looked up he found himself still within the confines of the room. Overwhelmed, he began to see what looked to be floating orbs, and he started hearing a high-pitched ring. He was forced to put his hands over his ears, but it did nothing to help.

  Please just make it stop, he begged.

  Another person let themselves into the tiny room.

  “Dante, I presume?”

  The light from above no longer bothered him as he sat up, looking at the woman.

  “You presume correctly.”

  She was a black woman who walked with confidence and had beautiful, gathered dreads. Like her colleague, she wore a white coat, but underneath she wore a red sweater.

  “Hi, I’m Ruby. I wanted to come to talk to you. I heard you from the other side.” She leaned over and knocked on the wall. “Thin walls.”

  “Talk to me about what?” Dante asked as he noticed her large beautiful blue eyes. The more Dante looked into them, the more he felt they peered through the depths of his soul.

  “Anything you want to talk about?”

  With a kind receptiveness in her eyes, she waited. A thought would bubble up every moment or so, but after the events of the day and the odd events that happened in times prior, Dante felt unsure he could place any faith in this person, but still, he felt compelled to confide in her.

  “Well, I don’t know what to tell you other than what I already told Jeff.” You can tell her. “You may think it sounds odd, but I feel pulled to tell you something, I’m just afraid I might say something that may require you to keep to me here longer.”

  Ruby smiled.

  “I don’t have enough power around here to have you admitted, let alone longer, I assure you. Your words fall on receptive ears.”

  “I’ve felt for the longest time like someone or something is protecting me, watching over me. So I confided in my dad today, telling him that I’ve been feeling this way for a while now. And as I explained more, he grew frustrated, not able to wrap his mind around it. I know it sounds a little on the crazy side.”

  Ruby shook her head. “I’ve been around here long enough to have heard stories of actual lunacy. Things have a beautiful way of unfolding when you are open and receptive as you have been, Dante. I have a feeling these instances of feeling protected will be a steady staple in the years to come.”

  “There have been times where I should have died, but I was kept safe…. But for what?”

  “And so shall these things continue,” Ruby said.

  “I just want to know why all of this is happening, and if I tell this stuff to the doctor, they’ll surely keep me here. I just don’t know what to do.” Dante lowered his head.

  Ruby walked over to him, raising his chin with her finger.

  “I can tell you are righteous and kind. You’re feeling out of place here on this planet because you’re supposed to help create a new one.”

  Dante looked up to her, wondering, Who are you?

  “Now I must be going. Dr. Cargan will be here soon.”

  Dante could only muster a smirk after hearing those kind words, feeling encouraged.

  Right on cue, there was another knock and yet another woman in a white coat was at the door.

  “Hello, Dante, I’m Dr. Cargan. Okay if I come in?”

  “I don’t see why not.”

  “Are you doing okay today?” Dr. Cargan asked while she pulled up a chair.

  “Not going to lie to you, Doc, I’ve had better days.”

  “Seems like you don’t lack perspective on the situation,” Dr. Cargan said, holding what looked to be the same one Jeff had been holding earlier, so Dante braced himself for redundancy.

  “Can you tell me what happened today?” Dr. Cargan asked.

  “I take it that you’ve seen those notes before, maybe even read them. I don’t understand why doctors play coy just to get their patients' perspective. Personally, I would prefer you just ask me for my perspective instead of making it seem like you’re ignorant to the facts.”

  “Now, you listen here, Mr. Luciano, I’ve been in this field for years, and no one has ever talked to me like that.”

  “I meant no disrespect, but how would you feel in my shoes based on the notes you’ve read? Or how would you feel if you knew you had no actual intentions of ever hurting yourself, only to have your father call the cops on you?”

  “Let’s not forget who the doctor is.”

  Dante chuckled.

  “Listen, Doc, I told Jeff and I’m going to tell you too, I felt alone enough to say that I didn’t want to live on this planet anymore. It was a momentary lapse of judgment due to my emotional state. I know now that you had to take those words as a threat to my life, and will comply fully with the mandatory seventy-two-hour hold.”

  Dr. Cargan jotted down a few things.

  “Are you Christian or do you believe in a higher power of some sort?”

  Dr. Cargan nodded.

  “See, I’ve been raised Catholic, and yet so many people forget the stories they’ve all clung to so tightly. There are innumerable stories of angels or benevolent beings interceding in human affairs or imparting wisdom. St. Francis of Assisi said, ‘Angels transcend all religions.’ I don’t hear voices, but I’m going to go out on a limb here and tell you that I’ve felt an internal voice nudging me during crucial moments. Some people would call that a conscious. My internal voice has said things like, ‘It’s not worth getting angry about’ or ‘Let it go.’ But this morning, I felt something inside me say, ‘You are meant to share your gifts with the world.’ And when I told my dad, he freaked out. My goal, for as long as I can remember, has been to help this planet in any way possible to become a more peaceful and prosperous place for every living being. So, honestly, Doctor, if you think that’s crazy, you’re more than welcome to keep me longer than seventy-two hours.”

  Dr. Cargan jotted down some more notes.

  “So, what’s the consensus?” Dante asked.

  “That you are very well-spoken, Dante.”

  “Okay, I don’t know how I’m supposed to take that.”

  “That means that during the next seventy-two hours, we’ll be keeping a close eye on you.”

  Dr. Cargan left and soon Dante was led by a nurse to the nurse's station, where he was administered a drug called lithium. Down the hall, he overheard how a man had taken a whole bottle of pills in hopes it would end his life. Making their way to the end of the hall, Dante looked to see a windowless room with one bed in the center. The bed had straps from head to toe.

  “Oh man, that’s rough.”

  “Oh, it’s all right, Shug, we haven’t had to use that in ages.”

  “I’m glad. And, if you don’t mind me asking, I wondered where Ruby works in the hospital? I talked to her earlier, and she was really nice.”

  “Can’t say I know a Ruby, Shug.”

  What?

  The nurse showed him to the showers. White tile encased the walls, and while the nurse stood there all Dante could see was that there were no dividers between the stalls.

  Whether or not the sayi
ng, ‘Don’t drop the soap’ was true or not, Dante didn’t want to leave anything to chance. Now I’m definitely not showering.

  “Well, I’m sure you’ll need to wash up at some point.”

  Yeah, when I get back home, Dante thought as a bead of sweat rolled down his neck.

  The nurse walked Dante to his room, where there were two cots, each with a pile of sheets. God, whoever is out there, please help me get through this, Dante prayed as he curled up in the bed and closed his eyes.

  She’s never heard of Ruby?

  • • •

  Dante laid there on his cot during the second night, tossing and turning, trying to get comfortable enough to fall asleep. His roommate, Lerato, did the same.

  “Chrith…. Chrith, you awake?”

  Dante had told his roommate his middle name was Christopher and, for some reason, Lerato kept using it, doing his best to enunciate it.

  “Yeah, I’m awake. What’s up?”

  Lerato had cerebral palsy, but Dante didn’t mind a bit.

  “Oh, sorry, Chrith.”

  “You know you can call me by my first name, too, buddy.”

  “Nuh-uh, I like calling you Chrith, ’cause I like the face you make when I thay it.”

  “Okay, buddy.”

  “I don’t want to be here, Chrith. The bed isn’t comfy, and my mom thaid the food will be good. The polygraph proves that wath a lie.”

  Dante chuckled, remembering Lerato’s love for daytime television. Lerato’s mother did her best to shelter him, but Dante was sure that keeping him from so much may have stunted his ability to cope with just how different he was. Dante hoped Lerato would realize his unique idiosyncrasies were what made him, him.

  But as Dante lay in bed pondering, he noticed his emotions were less pronounced, leaving him with little to no peaks and no valleys, just flat, emotionless in the two days of taking the lithium. He felt more robotic, so as he laid there, he yearned to feel the sun's warmth once more.

  “Chrith, what do you want to be?”

  “I’m still figuring that out…. What about you?”

  “Well, Chrith, my options are thightly limited, what am I gonna do? Be a traffic cop or symphony conductor? The music wouldn’t turn out right Chrith, and people would get into accidents.”

  Dante let a laugh louder than he should.

  “Maybe I thould be a thand up comic.”

  “I, one hundred percent would support you.”

  Lerato grew quiet as he sat there looking at his lace-less shoes at the end of his bed.

  “I got my own ithues that I have to deal with first.”

  Dante looked at his shoes, seeing they were just like his friends. “We’re in the same boat.”

  “Yeah,” Lerato said with a sigh.

  “I know, buddy. I know.”

  “I’ll thee ya in the morning, Chrith.”

  Hours passed and a nurse came by, opening each door one by one, letting light in while Dante was having a dream. In his mind's eye, he could see his mom smiling upon him, whilst her hair radiated with the light of a thousand suns. “You’re so bright, Mom.”

  “There will come a day when you will light up the world.”

  A tear fell down Dante’s face.

  “I miss you, Mom.”

  “I’m always with you.”

  “Why did you leave us?”

  His mother smiled once more, not saying another word, and the dream world around her faded as the light remained.

  Just then, there was a loud banging on the wall, nearest Lerato’s cot.

  “Hey, buddy, quiet down a little bit,” Dante said, keeping his eyes closed.

  The banging persisted.

  Dante opened his eyes but was surprised to see Lerato wasn’t in bed and his shoes were gone.

  “Ahhhh!”

  Dante shot up, tossing his sheet, and made his way to the way to the hall. The past couple of days the door beside his was left ajar, but this morning it was shut, so Dante peered through the tiny pane of glass on the door.

  Lerato’s face was red as tears streamed down his cheeks.

  “Thith ithn’t fair!”

  All Dante could do was look on as his friend was being restrained by five nurses. One of the nurses pulled out a needle and jabbed it into Lerato’s leg as the others managed to wrangle him onto the bed, fastening the straps.

  “Owwww!” Lerato yelled.

  Dante’s friend began moving slower and slower until he looked up and saw Dante through the tiny window. As the nurse sheathed the needle, she followed his line of sight and saw Dante’s eyes looking in, so she walked toward the door, opening it.

  “Young man, you really shouldn’t be out here.”

  “I was curious what all the commotion was about.”

  “Run along, there’s nothing to see here.”

  Dante tried to look once more into the room, but the nurse stood her ground.

  What could he have done to deserve that? Seems more than excessive.

  Dante headed down the hall toward the entertainment room, hoping the food had already arrived, then found a seat nearest the door.

  There was a young black man with massive dreads, who leaned alone with a blank stare against the barred windows. Dante had heard rumors about how he had seen something so revolting, shaking him enough to the core, that it put him into a catatonic shock.

  It’s almost as if he’s continuously reliving that moment, attempting to rationalize what he saw, which only leads to his mind continuing to wander as it does now. If only there were a way I could help him.

  “Breakfast.” A nurse said as she pushed a cart of covered trays into the room.

  It was another day of hard-boiled eggs, toast, and grits. Dante had lost his appetite, so when the nurse made her way to him, he told her, “No thank you, ma’am.”

  “No, honey, we have to give everyone their food, whether they eat it, is up to them.”

  Dante shook his head, taking the tray toward the nurse who was feeding the catatonic young man.

  “You think he may want this?” Dante asked.

  “That’s awfully kind of you, young man, and if he won’t eat it, I’ll make sure it doesn’t go to waste.”

  On the way to back his room, Dante looked into the room where he had last seen Lerato. He was met with disappointment upon seeing him still unconscious and strapped to the bed. In the silence, Dante took breaths in through his nose, exhaling through his mouth, until a thought came to mind. I still haven’t seen Ruby again, but she could just work on another floor.

  Unable to shake the thought, and reluctant to move on until he had some answers, Dante roamed the halls asking the nurses about Ruby.

  “Oh, that sounds like Rhonda on the first floor, but I don’t think she goes by Ruby, honey,” one insisted. No matter how nice all the nurses were with their Southern drawl, Dante knew what he had heard.

  Dante headed back to his room, muttering, “Did I imagine her? Maybe I do belong here.” With nothing else to do other than lay in bed, questioning his sanity, he took off his shoes and climbed back under the sheets. The world seemed cold, unyielding, so he closed his eyes.

  Hours passed.

  “Wake up, Shug, your father’s waiting.”

  Dante shot up, put on his shoes, then followed the nurse out into the hall. He looked into the room where Lerato once was, only to see he was no longer there. I hope he’s okay, Dante thought.

  Both Dante and the nurse had almost reached the end of the hall when Dante heard a familiar voice yelling his name.

  “Chrith!”

  He turned around to see Lerato running out of the entertainment room.

  “I was wondering where you were,” Dante said.

  “Yeah, they let me out, tho I came into the room and you were thleeping, tho I left.”

  “I’ve gotta get going now, buddy. My dad is here to pick me up.”

  Conflicted, Lerato hugged Dante, scrunching his nose. “Chrith, you thould take a thower when you get
home, you thmell, buddy.”

  Dante laughed. “Yeah, trust me, I know. I hope our paths cross again.”

  “I hope tho too. You better come thee me do thand up comedy.”

  “I’m already there, buddy. I’ll see ya around.”

  As Dante and the hospital employee walked down the hall, he looked into the nurse’s station where, yet again, there was no sign of Ruby.

  They made their way to the padded elevators, where it was clear that there had been many scuffles, with many scratches along the walls.

  “So, how long have you been working here?” Dante asked.

  “Too long, if you ask me,” the woman responded.

  “I’m guessing you’d rather work somewhere else.”

  “Yeah, I like it here, but between you and me, the third floor where you were, it’s just too much work.”

  Remembering the sight of Lerato being tied down, Dante could only imagine what else she has had to endure.

  “I just don’t know how you do it. I could barely stand three days here. Not being able to see the sun for days makes me feel caged.”

  “You know, you’re not the only one who’s told me that. I’m just trying to work here long enough so I can move down to the first floor.”

  The elevator opened, and natural light came pouring in.

  Dante was brought to a tiny room where he was given the fresh-smelling clothes he was admitted in. He put them on and met the woman outside, where she brought him to the lobby.

  George stood there with an awkward smile.

  “Just wait in line here for the discharge paperwork.”

  “Thank you, ma’am, I hope you get moved down here soon,” Dante said, and the woman walked away, leaving him with his father.

  “So, how was it?” George asked.

  “Ya know, Dad, I love you so much, and I’m really glad to see you, but I don’t want to talk to you right now.”