Oh, my God.
Michaela had the same hazel eyes and bone structure as Mack. And they both looked like their mother.
“Wow. Oh, my goodness. Come in. Please.” I led them over to one of the student tables where we each took a seat.
“You look really nervous. Please don’t be,” Michaela said.
Vivienne looked morose. “We didn’t come to make trouble for you. I have to first apologize immensely for what has happened recently. Mackenzie made me aware of the letter you received and the information that was dug up on your father. That was very unfortunate, and I’m terribly sorry for my husband’s actions.”
It was a really inopportune time to lose my cool. Nevertheless, a tear sprang free and fell down my cheek.
Mack’s sister reached out and placed her hand on my arm. “I’m sorry if we’re upsetting you.”
“No. Not at all. It’s just really good to meet you. I never knew what to expect when it came to you both. This is a bit of a relief, actually.”
“Meeting you seems long overdue,” his sister said.
“I know.”
“My brother once told me about you years ago when Jonah was about three years old. It was Christmas Eve. Mack and I were sitting by the tree talking. I asked him if he planned on marrying Torrie, and he was honest with me. He told me he couldn’t bring himself to take that final step because he was still in love with someone else. And that was when he told me the whole story of how he’d met you and how he’d left things with you back in Boston. I’ll never forget the look of longing and regret in his eyes. I’d never seen that side of Mack. It broke my heart.”
“Really?”
“Yes. I remember thinking it was so romantic yet tragic. And I’ve thought about you a lot after that, even though I never knew you, because I’d just felt so terrible for my brother. At the time, I had just met my now fiancé, and I remember wishing so badly that Mackenzie could find the same happiness I did.”
Vivienne interrupted, “I’m afraid apologizing on behalf of my husband is only half of the reason why we needed to travel here to see you.”
“My brother is in a really bad place.”
My stomach dropped. “I knew something was wrong. He hasn’t been opening up to me.”
“Something new has happened.”
My heartbeat accelerated. “Is he okay?”
“He’s physically okay, yes. I’m sorry if I scared you.”
“What’s going on?”
“My brother and I have been used to dealing with my father’s crooked ways our entire lives. But when I found out about what Dad had done to you, I decided that I’d had enough.”
My heart was pounding in fear. I had no clue what else they could have possibly come here to tell me.
She continued, “I started investigating my father. One of the things I did was break into his private office. A long time ago, I’d watched him open a safe. He didn’t realize I was mentally taking note of the combination. I never thought I would actually use it someday.” Michaela held onto her mother’s hand for support. “So, recently, I used the code to open it. I was thinking that maybe I would find something in there that I could use to blackmail him in the same way he’d done to you, except my one condition would be for him to leave my brother alone. I never expected to find what I did.”
Vivenne closed her eyes and seemed to be gearing herself up for what would come next.
Michaela took a deep breath then said, “I found pictures of Torrie…and a video on a thumb drive.”
“Torrie?”
“Yes. Naked photos…and a sex tape.”
I couldn’t grasp it. “What? Naked?”
“I know. It’s a shock. My father had apparently been having an affair with her for years.”
Mack’s mother finally spoke. “Deep down, I think I knew that Michael had been unfaithful to me at some point in our marriage. But the level of betrayal that this has brought upon our family is beyond comprehension.”
“Did you confront him?”
Michaela nodded. “We confronted them both. They didn’t deny it. They claimed it’s been over for a long time.”
“Does Mack know?”
“Yes. After my mother and I confronted my father and Torrie, we went to Mack’s and told him everything. He basically went into shock. He’s having a very hard time accepting this. He’s given up a huge chunk of his life for that woman, only to be burned in the worst possible way. Not to mention being betrayed like that by your own father.”
For some reason, it hadn’t dawned on me before, but when the thought entered my consciousness, it hit me like a ton of bricks.
Oh, no.
No.
No.
No.
“Is there a chance that...” I couldn’t even say the words.
She finished my sentence. “That Jonah is my father’s son? We believe there is a chance, yes. But we just don’t know.”
Oh, dear God.
“How long has Mack known all of this?”
“We told him when he got home from his last visit with you, the one where I was watching Jonah.”
That explained the bizarre behavior soon after he left me.
“He’s been acting strangely toward me,” I said. “I thought it had to do with my own situation. He obviously chose not to tell me any of this.”
“As you can imagine, he’s not handling it well. Knowing that there’s a possibility that Jonah could be our father’s is causing him a lot of mental anguish. He’s been shutting us out, too. In some ways, I feel terrible for having uncovered this, but I suppose it’s better to know than to be kept in the dark about something so significant.”
I turned to Mack’s mother. “How are you handling it?”
Her voice was barely audible. “Not well, I’m afraid.”
“How long are you both here in town?”
Michaela looked down at her phone to check the time. “We’re heading right back to D.C. in a few hours. The purpose of this trip was to meet you and to let you know how sorry we are for everything that happened but mostly to make you aware of what’s happening now.”
There’s nothing harder than trying to keep a brave face in front of your kid when it feels like your world is crumbling around you.
“Want some more sauce?”
Jonah nodded. I lifted the ladle, pouring the marinara over his spaghetti and frozen meatballs. I was a suckass cook before, but with everything going on lately, the cuisine around here was even more sub par than usual.
He twirled the noodles around with his fork. I hated that I obsessively stared at his face now every chance I got, looking for signs of my father. This was my son, and nothing was ever going to change that.
I wondered if Jonah thought about why my beard was almost fully grown. I also wondered if he could somehow sense the pain that was now constantly squeezing at my heart.
Making matters worse, I couldn’t even bear to look at Torrie. I’d been staying in the car whenever I would pick him up or bring him back. Since the day my mother and sister dropped the bomb, Torrie and I had barely spoken. During one conversation that took place while Jonah was at school, I’d demanded that she come clean as to whether my father could technically be Jonah’s biological father. When she admitted that it was a possibility, I flew off the handle. She kept apologizing, using her age at the time and naivety as an excuse, pinning it on my father as the seducer. She kept emphasizing that the affair was brief and had ended years ago. She even tried to place the blame on me, saying she felt vulnerable to his charms because of my lack of affection toward her.
In addition to smashing some of her possessions, I made a number of empty threats I knew I would never follow through with. Filing for full custody was one of them. That wasn’t an option because Jonah loved his mother too much despite her faults. As vile as I now realized she was, I didn’t want to put my son through another major transition; it wouldn’t have been fair.
My son.
As for m
y father, I couldn’t get myself to confront him out of fear that I would’ve wanted to physically annihilate him. I couldn’t ever lay a hand on Torrie despite my anger; the idea of physically harming Dad, however, didn’t seem that far-fetched. So, I stayed away for my own good.
He hadn’t reached out to me once since everything came out. That didn’t surprise me; he was a fucking coward. And honestly, there was nothing to say that would have changed this situation or made it better.
I was done with him. It didn’t matter if I never spoke to him again as long as I lived.
When Jonah put down his fork, I asked, “You’re not hungry?”
“Not really.” He stared off then suddenly said, “Mom’s been crying a lot.”
I didn’t know how to respond. What I wanted to say—“Good”—wouldn’t have exactly been the right answer.
“I’m sorry to hear that.” I wasn’t. The only thing I was sorry about was that Jonah had to witness it. “Has she told you why she’s upset?”
“She told me not to worry.”
“That’s right. Sometimes, people get sad and cry, but it always passes. It’ll be okay.” I hated that I had no energy to even pretend that I cared about why his mother was crying. My inclination was just to drop the subject as fast as possible, so that he couldn’t sense anything on my end. Telling him the truth wasn’t an option.
I knew that Torrie had no intention of confirming Jonah’s paternity, unless I somehow forced it. I still wasn’t sure what I wanted, often going back and forth between demanding a blood test for peace of mind and never wanting to know.
My mind was just one jumbled mess, intercepted every so often by flashes of red hair, flashes of light, flashes of Frankie. I couldn’t even begin to imagine what she was thinking about my virtual absence from her life. I couldn’t bear to break this news to her, to explain that my breaking her heart all those years ago may have all been in vain.
Then, there was the issue of her safety. I was even more far removed from my father’s antics now. What if he was still planning on causing trouble for her? He was probably more angry and disillusioned with me after being outed for his affair with Torrie. I just didn’t know what to do. It felt selfish to be bringing Frankie into the mess that was my life right now. In my darkest moments, I’d have myself convinced that she would be better off with that old man, who could take care of her and keep her hidden and safe, away from my fucked-up family.
That evening as I pulled up to Torrie’s, Jonah finally called me out on my actions.
“How come you don’t walk me inside anymore?”
“It just has to be like this for a little while. I promise it won’t be forever.”
“What did Mommy do?”
“Adults fight from time to time, okay? Everything is going to turn out alright. I promise. You don’t need to worry. When people have a disagreement, sometimes it’s best if they just keep their distance until time passes. Mommy and I both love you very much, and that’s all you need to remember.”
I hugged him extra tight before watching him walk from the car to make sure he entered the house safely.
My mind was racing on the way home. Distracted, I almost crashed into another car in the opposite lane. That was a wake-up call. I thought about all of the regrets I would have had if my life were to have ended just then. It was a needed reminder of my will to get past this dark time. I just needed help.
Once back at my cold and empty apartment, I grabbed a beer and sat on the kitchen floor with my back against the refrigerator. There was no energy left in me to move from that spot. It was such a random place and moment to hit rock bottom, but I truly felt that was it; I’d hit my lowest point.
“Please.”
I wasn’t even sure at first who I was talking to. It must have been God.
I whispered again, “Please.”
It proved that I did believe someone was listening despite my never really having taught Jonah about religion. Even though St. Matthew’s happened to be a Catholic school, my son hadn’t really grown up with any kind of faith before that nor had my parents ever taken me to church growing up. Despite not knowing what my God looked like, I just felt a spiritual presence in that moment. So, I continued to beg this higher power for guidance. I prayed to God to help me figure out my next steps, how to move on with my life. It was the first time I’d ever acknowledged a true belief.
I went to sleep that night vying to leave everything in God’s hands, because it didn’t feel like my own were capable of handling this situation any longer. I’d hit rock bottom, and there was nowhere to go but up.
The next morning, I was still wearing the same clothes from the day before. The only thing that had changed was that my beard had gotten even longer.
A knock on the door startled me. It was way too early to deal with anyone. It better not have been my father.
When I opened the door, I blinked a few times to make sure I wasn’t hallucinating. Anything was possible given my lack of sleep lately.
Frankie was standing there with a gigantic suitcase.
She seemed shocked to see me looking like this. “What on Earth, Mack…”
Blinking repeatedly, I said, “Frankie?”
I still couldn’t believe she was here.
Abandoning her luggage, she leapt into my arms. Until I was actually holding her, I hadn’t realized just how badly I’d needed her. With the distance between us, I’d somehow been able to convince myself that I could live without her. But now, it felt like I was breathing again for the first time in weeks.
What she said to me next truly threw me for a loop.
“I know, Mack.”
“What?”
“I know about the discovery your sister made. Your mother and Michaela came to see me in Boston. They were worried about you and told me everything. We don’t have to talk about it right now. But I just wanted to let you know that I know and that you don’t need to rehash it. You don’t owe me any explanations. I’m just here to do what I can to make it better, because I love you so much.”
I just broke apart in her arms, crying like a baby for the first time since Jonah was born. How I ever thought I could get through this without her was beyond me. God had sent me exactly what I needed: her.
Once I’d calmed down, I wiped my eyes and asked, “How long can you stay?”
“How long do you want me?”
“Forever,” I said without hesitation. “I don’t want you forever. I need you forever.”
“Then, I’m here.”
“What about your job?”
“I took a leave of absence. I don’t know that I’m ever going back.”
“What about…him?”
“Things truly ended with Victor a long time ago. The only difference now is that I finally left. It was the right thing to do. Even before you and I got physical, my heart was yours. I’d just been afraid to admit it. Victor is a smart man. I think he never really held out true hope for a reconciliation even when things seemed bad between you and me in recent weeks. From the moment he found out about you, he could see how consumed I was. After your mother and sister came to see me, I was a wreck. I told Victor that night that I planned to leave for Virginia as soon as I could get my affairs in order.”
“What about the stuff with your father?”
“What about it? I have to accept it. But I feel very far removed from it all, to be honest. I don’t know him and probably never will. It has nothing to do with us…aside from your father and Torrie’s threats. Anyway, I think I have a plan for how to handle that situation. But I don’t want to get into it now. I don’t want to talk about anything upsetting today. I just want to spend time with you, get you feeling strong again so that we have the energy to deal with all that.”
I kept running my fingers through her long hair. “I can’t believe you’re really here. Last night, after I dropped Jonah off, I felt hopeless. I prayed for the first time that I could ever remember and asked God to help me. He sent me you
. I’m pretty sure that was more than I could’ve hoped for.”
Frankie was overcome with emotion. “When we first met, you saw something in me that other people didn’t. You were the first man to come into my life and make me feel special. Life got in the way of our plans. But I want to take it back. Who says we can’t? When you left Boston all those years ago, you were supposed to come back to me. That wasn’t our time, but that doesn’t mean we weren’t still meant to be together. So, this is me coming back to you. Let this be the moment that it was supposed to be all those years ago, the start of a new beginning.”
“You make it sound so simple.”
“Why can’t it be? We’re not going to let fear rule our lives. We’ll figure it all out in good time.”
I gave into the sudden urge to lift her into my arms. “As long as you’re with me, I feel like I can handle anything.”
She wrapped her legs around my waist. “We just need to take it one day at a time. And today…we have only one mission.”
“What’s that?”
“It’s to get you cleaned up and shaved.”
“Are you saying I’m a beast?”
“I’m saying if I had gotten here two days later, I would be sleeping with Chewbacca.”
My laughter roared throughout the apartment as I put her down. “God, it feels good to laugh again.”
“When was the last time?”
I slid my hands slowly down her back. “It was with you.”
Frankie took my hand. I led her into the bathroom before turning on the faucet. She removed all of my clothes then took hers off until we were both stark naked.
She sat across from me in the small bathtub that was filled to the rim with suds and gently shaved my beard. I closed my eyes, so thankful to have her with me. When she finished, she softly kissed my face.
Wrapping my arms around her, I lifted her onto my cock as she straddled me. We fucked under the water until we both came. If last night was hell, this was my light after darkness.
I realized that this wasn’t the naïve girl I first fell in love with. This was my woman taking care of me, taking control of my life when I’d completely lost it. I’d asked God for help, and He sent my angel.
Mack Daddy Page 21
