by Ford, Mia
I rolled my eyes at him. “I know you are ‘Mr. Science’”, I said. “But I do believe that some things are not coincidental. I mean, look at the horrible thing that happened to me, but for all of the great things I have in my life now, that had to happen first. I wouldn’t have the boys, I wouldn’t have met you, and I wouldn’t have been inspired and committed to helping these people who so desperately need it.”
Taylor nodded. “Yeah, that sounds like it was meant to be to me.”
And I could tell he was serious when he said it. I reached out and touched his hand warmly. “I love you.”
“I love you, so much more,” Taylor said.
“Now, that is just not even a thing,” I teased.
“Sure it is. You might love me, but there is a whole other realm of love possibility. It’s beyond infinity even because it’s part of a different universe.”
I couldn’t hide my laughter. “Wow, you are such a nerd.”
“That’s one of the things you love most about me, right?” Taylor asked. “My big brain?”
“Sure… we can call it your big… brain,” I giggled.
Taylor was laughing now as well. Both of the twins were now fast asleep. Luckily they stayed asleep all the way back to our room. Taylor carried Nicki, and I carried Alex.
“Wow, the trip tired them right out,” Taylor said after I closed the door to their room.
I followed him into the kitchen where he poured us each a glass of wine.
“Yeah. I just hope they sleep through the night without any issues,” I said. The twins could often get fussy and have trouble sleeping. Usually one would wake up and be bored, so he’d wake up his brother. And then they were a total terror to put back to bed.
“I think they’ve adjusted to everything beautifully,” Taylor said.
He was right. It had been a bit tough on them when they realized their dad would be going away. And then they’d had to get used to Taylor and to the realization that I was not only going to be around them from now on (because they knew me as their nanny), but that I was actually their mother. After about six weeks they started calling me mommy all the time. It was music to my ears. I could only imagine the depths of neglect and damage that had been done to them by their psychopathic father. I just hoped that it wasn’t too bad, or at least not far enough that I would never be able to undo it with constant love and nurturing.
But both boys had taken to Taylor right away. They loved his easygoing manner and the way that he always made them feel safe and secure. And Taylor loved them as well, just as if they were his own kids. It was the most beautiful thing to watch.
Sitting there sipping wine and talking with my husband I began to feel so warm, so safe, and so thankful. I meant what I told him earlier. As strange as it was to admit I was thankful for everything that had happened. I was thankful that I’d met Ted, that he’d lied to me, and even that he’d tried to murder me. All of it brought Taylor into my life. I wouldn’t be the happiest woman in the world right now if it hadn’t happened exactly the way that it did. I’ve never been religious, but when it came right down to it I would not let myself believe that all of the things that I’d been through in my life had not prepared me to live happily right here and now.
“What do you want to do tomorrow?” Taylor asked.
I took a sip of the wine. “I don’t know. I was thinking about maybe just taking a walk on the beach, possibly a little golf, and maybe some music in the evening. What do you think?”
Taylor pretended to be shocked. “Wow, that is a big day. I don’t know if I have the stamina to handle all of that.”
I laughed. “Oh, there isn’t a thing wrong with your stamina, honey.”
“Is that right? Well, how about we test my stamina right now?”
“I think you just read my mind,” I said.
Taylor sat his wine down on the counter.
“Right this way,” Taylor said.
He grabbed me gently by the hand and escorted me to the bedroom.
* * *
Hey, thanks so much for reading this story and I hope you enjoyed every part of it.
And your reading doesn’t stop here. If you want to know about my recent TOP 100 book on Amazon, then I have also included an exclusive Sneak Peak to “Rock My World” here. So, go ahead and enjoy!
* * *
35
Sneak Peak: Rock My World
Blurb
Addison’s the one who got away.
Scared off by my rockstar life… and her friend’s lies.
Now it’s time to make her my world.
You can split my life in two.
Before:
College days and Addison in my arms.
Baby blue eyes, sweet tempting lips.
Knowing we’ll be together no matter what.
And after:
Sell-out gigs with screaming fans.
Women throwing themselves at me at the stage door.
I pose for the selfies and sign the merch, but that’s all they get.
There’s only one woman on my mind – and she’s not my biggest fan!
Six years is a long time to be single.
And six years of touring gets old.
Time to find Addison, even if I don’t play by the rules.
Tell her the truth – music is my past.
Her love, our family, is my future.
* * *
Chapter 1: Addison
Jace Fairs.
I smile to myself with my arms wrapping me and I bask in the warm glow that is my boyfriend and the love of my life. The dark-haired, dark-eyed rock god who I get to call my own. I must be the luckiest woman alive.
“Right, I’m off to play a gig,” he says in his chocolaty smooth voice while placing a gentle kiss on my forehead. “I hope you’re the one screaming the loudest for me because I’ll be looking for you.”
“Oh, I will be.” I shudder with excitement in his arms. “Don’t you worry about that.”
God, it feels so exciting. So, thrilling to be dating him. Okay, so this might be more of a college gig than a sell-out stadium, but the sensation is exactly the same. He will be up there playing and loads of girls will be screaming his name. Me the most, and the loudest because he is mine and it’ll always stay that way.
I barely want to let him go but I don’t have any choice. He’ll come back to me soon enough anyway, I will have him back in my arms and where I need him to be. I just have to wait, to be patient, that’s all.
“I love you,” I murmur as I watch him leave, my heart fluttering with excitement. “I love you so much.”
I just know that not only does he love me too, but that our love will last forever. I didn’t come to college planning to meet the man that I would marry, but when you know, you know it well, and I definitely know. I just have to look at him to know that I will walk down the aisle towards him, that we’ll have a family, a happy ever after…
The next moment, the gig is over. It happens in the blink of an eye. That probably should be weird, but it isn’t. Mostly because his arms are around me and he’s kissing me like there’s no tomorrow, pushing me back onto the bed as he does. He’s sweaty, his clothes from the gig are sticking to his body, he smells so manly. Every fiber within me is on fire, I’m tingling, there’s a pulsing between my thighs that needs sating. I need him so badly that I might actually die. It’s as if we have been separated forever and I’ve finally managed to grab him once more. I need every inch of him, I want him deep inside me, pressed up against me, everywhere.
“Oh, fuck, Addie, you feel so good,” he growls while yanking my dress off. “You’re so hot.”
A moan flies passed my lips as he meets my throat, sucking and licking me all over. I feel passion bruised and twinkly everywhere, I cling to him like he’s the only thing connecting me to the planet.
“Fuck, Addie.” His mouth moves down. He’s moving quickly, kissing me desperately. “I need to taste you.”
His mouth is on my
panties, I squeal and squirm as he teases me by brushing his mouth over where I need him the most. I grab his head and try to push him but he won’t be guided, he won’t be controlled, and that’s just the way I like him. He has all the power over me and it’s fucking incredible.
“I need you,” I whimper like a pussy cat. “Please, Jace, I need you so bad.”
“Ooh, you’re bad,” he murmurs, his words vibrating against my core. “And that’s why I like you.”
The next moment, my panties have melted away and his tongue is buried deep in-to me. The scream that bursts out of my chest this time is so loud it shakes me from something. My consciousness becomes something different, I’m not quite sure what yet. My body doesn’t feel quite so satisfied as it once did…
“What the…?” I mutter, my throat gravelly and painful. “Where am I?”
I grip onto my forehead, trying to block out the violent bright white light that infects my vision. How am I in so much pain all of a sudden when a moment ago, I was in Heaven, with Jace…
Jace. Jace Fairs.
I fall backwards with a thump. Everything sinking like crazy. Of course, I’m not with bloody Jace Fairs, I haven’t been with him for six long years. I’m not in college either, I haven’t been for ages. That was just a dream. Or a dream combined with a very unhelpful memory, something that I don’t need right now.
“For fuck sake.”
I turn over in my bed and face my very familiar white bedroom wall, not the awful cream color from college. My life is completely different now. It’s better, in a lot of ways, so I don’t know why I’m dreaming about the past. I’m better off without Jace. He wasn’t the amazing guy I thought he was. He was a cheating bastard and that’s why he isn’t in my life anymore. The dream of a future together became nothing because of him.
A tear starts to roll, which is absolutely the last thing I need. To try and stop it, I push myself in to a sitting position with the determination of facing the day and whatever it may hold, but a wave of sickness and revulsion overcomes me, almost flooring me once again.
Why do I feel so bad? I slump forward, trying to remember. But of course, it’s a hangover. I know that really. It was Luci’s birthday last night, and we went a little wild. Or a lot wild, I haven’t got a freaking clue. All I’m certain of is that everything hurts, nothing feels good anymore, and if I’m not careful I might puke.
“Move,” I remind myself, before the tears come again. “Get up, make coffee or something.”
I shuffle my aching body across the bedroom with the sheet still wrapped around me and I stagger towards the kitchen. I nearly jump in the air when I hear snores coming from the couch.
“Oh, fuck, Luci! I didn’t realize that you were here.”
“Huh?” She stirs and smirks at me. “Oh yeah, I couldn’t be bothered to go home. You don’t mind?”
“No, I don’t mind. You want a coffee?”
Luci bounds off the couch looking surprisingly less zombie like than me, and she follows me into the kitchen, all dull of beans as if she barely drank a damn thing last night. I just don’t know how she does it. I’m so weak when it comes to booze. It didn’t used to be this way; in college I could really handle it.
“So, last night was fun, wasn’t it?” Luci squeals with excitement. “I cannot believe how wild it got. And Tim was so hot. I can’t believe how long I spent kissing him. Thank God I got his number.”
I have vague flashes of memories of that, but not really enough to join in the conversation.
“I don’t know why you rejected Ben though. He was gorgeous and so much into you.”
“Ben?” I screw my nose up in confusion. I don’t have any recollection of any Ben.
“Oh, you know.” Luci nudges me playfully in the side. “Tim’s mate. The blond guy. Really tall. Nice green eyes. He was gorgeous actually, if I hadn’t been kissing Tim then I would have thought about it.”
“Oh yeah.” I nod slowly. “Yeah I remember. He just… isn’t my type, that’s all.”
“Oh right, sure. Because he doesn’t have dark hair and dark eyes.”
I clap my hand in front of my mouth to stop the sickness from flowing. How can Luci see into my mind? It’s like she can see my thoughts and I haven’t even vocalized them yet. Or ever. I won’t ever tell Luci that I’ve been dreaming about Jace, she will absolutely kick my ass.
“You have got that funny look on your face again,” she tells me wryly. “You’re thinking about him. You need to stop. He’s gone now, you shouldn’t think about him again. You need to move on.”
I turn away from her so she can’t see the heat in my cheeks. “I don’t have time to move on.”
“Oh right, because you’re so busy with work.” I don’t need to see the eye roll; I know it’s there. “I have heard it all before. But that isn’t the real reason, is it? It’s because that bastard broke your heart and you’re scared to move on.” I hand Luci the mug and move over to the table, barely meeting her eyes. “But it’s time, it’s been six years.” Luci takes the seat opposite me and glares. “I know it isn’t easy. I do get it, trust me. The idiot had to get famous after college so now it’s hard to escape him, but you shouldn’t put your life on hold.”
I hate how accurate she is, it stings to listen to this, but I know what my best friend is like. She won’t let me ignore things just because it’s difficult for me. She’s much more of a ‘take the bull by the horns’ sort of person. And since she was there for me during the time I was with Jace and when he destroyed me as well. If anyone understands this situation, it’s her, so I really do need to listen to her advice.
“I haven’t been putting my life on hold, I have just been busy, that’s all.”
“Plenty of women have high powered careers like yours and love as well.”
“I will have love, when the time is right.” I offer a one-shouldered shrug. “I’m just waiting…”
Luci shakes her head at me, the disappointment evident in her expression. “Addison, I have been patient with you and sympathetic as well, but now it’s time for some tough love.”
“You mean everything that’s come before this moment wasn’t tough love?”
Luci completely ignores me. “So, I’m going to help you along with your journey and I’m signing you up to a dating agency.”
My head throbs harder. “What the fuck are you talking about, Luci? I’m too hungover for that.”
“A dating agency! It’ll be fun.” She beams at me like she’s come up with the answer to world peace or something. “I know you don’t want to do all the apps, I get that. Online dating isn’t for you, that’s fine. But this… well it’s different. It’s more personal. You will meet the woman doing the matching and she’ll find the right match for you. Or a selection of matches, they might even let you choose.”
“No, no, no.” I shake my head hard. “I don’t want any of that, I just want to…”
“Focus on your career until you get to the top. I know, Addison, I hear it all the time. Thing is, you’re managing editor now. How much higher can you go? The time is now.”
I part my lips, wanting a million reasons to come out of my mouth to stop her from doing this, but Luci is relentless, and I know that eventually, somehow, she’ll get me to agree. Best to just say yes now and to get out of it later. I’ll find an excuse somehow. There is always an excuse somewhere.
“Okay, fine, whatever, but I don’t see how some woman I don’t know can pick out the love of my life.”
Luci snorts. “It doesn’t always have to be about the love of your life, you know. You can just have fun. Treat it like an experiment. Just try and move on from fucking Jace Fairs already.”
I nod determinedly. I guess that is that then. I’m going to a dating agency to meet men. I doubt it’ll do much use but if it can get Jace out of my mind even a little bit then it’ll be a good thing because that future is well and truly over.
* * *
Chapter 2: Jace
“F
uck.” The first word that comes out of my cotton dry, raw as hell, mouth seems to be the same every single morning. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.”
I stare up at the crack in the ceiling through bleary eyes, wondering where it came from. This is supposed to be a posh hotel, a five star one, they all are, but there is always an imperfection somewhere, I just need to find it. This one is easier because it’s right above my head, so I guess I don’t need to bother searching.
“Fucking ceiling.”
I inhaled deeply, trying to ignore the strong scent of booze that seems to be stuck inside my nostrils, and I turn on to my side. But the image there doesn’t fill me with anymore glee than the crack. It makes me feel sick and reminds me that I’m in for a very awkward morning. After all, that curtain of red hair must be attached to someone, mustn’t it? Even if I can’t remember who the hell she is.
At least she isn’t a blonde, I remind myself. It’s always worse when they are blonde.
Hooking up with random women used to be amazing, a real perk to the rock star profession. Women threw themselves at me wherever I was and I freaking loved it. I relished it, being in The Puppeteers, burying myself in a different person every single night, all the while forgetting about the blonde I left behind, the woman who shattered my heart and left me with nothing but a numb empty chest. That’s why blondes are an issue, they remind me of the sweet, delicious Addie Laing, and that’s someone I cannot think about ever again.
Not unless I want to lose it.
Yet, random women don’t make the cut anymore. I don’t feel like I’m forgetting or moving on. The so-called rock star lifestyle doesn’t make me as happy as it once did. It doesn’t feel as fun and satisfying. Yes, it’s nice to have sold-out stadiums and fans screaming my name, it’s awesome to know that the world is singing the lyrics to my songs, yet I’m not fulfilled. The rest of the band are, they fucking love all of this. It’s the dream for them, but for me it isn’t. It should be, this is what I always thought that I wanted, but it doesn’t feel like it should.
