by Jo Lovett
Shit. It was late. He’d forgotten to go back and knock on Liv’s door. When he got there, he saw his note, pushed back under the door. She’d written that she wanted to talk. He knocked. No answer. He checked his watch. Midnight. He pushed open the door, very cautiously. And she was asleep. Shit. He’d really messed up.
It looked like it was going to be a really crappy week.
At least he’d get to see Izzy again, on Saturday. Hopefully that wouldn’t involve further fall-out from Liv.
Eighteen
Izzy
‘Maybe the socks and the scarf?’ Izzy held them both up.
‘Yes, Mummy.’ Ruby clapped. ‘Can we phone him and show him?’ They’d already phoned Dominic three times today. Ruby had a lot to tell him. Her New York excitement levels were high.
‘No, sweet pea. Let’s make them a lovely surprise for him.’
‘That’s a lot of cashmere for a soon-to-be-ex-husband,’ Emma murmured when they’d paid and gone to Macy’s toy section and Ruby was fully occupied comparing Barbies.
‘They were a very good price. Can’t ignore a bargain,’ Izzy said. She also couldn’t ignore her slight feeling of guilt about how much she was looking forward to seeing Sam this evening. Dominic was Ruby’s father and, if there was a chance they might get back together, he should be the man who made her heart beat faster and who she wanted to save all her anecdotes for. But, honestly, just thinking about Sam she was getting hot and flustered and bordering on giggly. And she kept seeing and thinking of things that she wanted to tell him because she knew he’d appreciate them in the same way she had. The, yes, far too expensive cashmere for Dominic had been a definite guilt purchase.
Ruby skipped up, holding a truly hideous doll. ‘Mummy, can I have this?’ Excellent distraction.
‘Yes, munchkin.’ Bloody hell. It was an expensive doll. Always check the price tag before saying yes. ‘Shall we go to the zoo in the park now?’ They needed to get away from the temptation of the shops, although maybe they could just have a quick look at the sales… it would be nice to have something new to wear this evening.
* * *
‘So Sam invited the three of us over later, for dinner.’ Izzy said it as airily as she could manage. They were standing in the queue for the Rockefeller Center, the three of them squished together, Ruby’s ears on stalks for whatever the adults said, so it was unlikely that Emma would start an awkward conversation. Izzy had been putting off mentioning the dinner all week. After last weekend, she didn’t need any more ‘Sam’s gorgeous, how do you feel about him?’ type comments from Emma.
‘Wow. Wow.’ Emma looked down at Ruby, whose little face was angled up to theirs, and visibly changed her mind about what to say next. ‘Where does he live?’
‘Upper East Side, near the park.’
‘Wow again. Fancy location.’ Emma attempted a subtle wink at Izzy as they shuffled forwards in the queue. ‘You should go alone. Why don’t I babysit Ruby?’ This was why Izzy hadn’t wanted to mention it to Emma. It was not a date of any kind. In fact, bearing in mind the looks Liv had directed at Izzy last week, the whole thing felt pretty awkward. And it was hugely embarrassing at her age to have a crush on someone. Which of course she did. Despite all the awkwardness, she was really looking forward to seeing Sam.
‘No, no, no need. And no reason for me to go alone. The twins will be there. Really, it’s for me to see Barney.’ This was why she’d put off mentioning it to Emma.
‘You and Ruby go. I’ll chill at the hotel with some room service.’ Emma had a definite match-making look in her eye.
Emma had refused to budge on her fake ‘I’m tired and I want to stay in the room by myself’ position, so now Izzy and Ruby were standing outside Sam’s very swish apartment block without her. Liv’s disembodied voice came over the intercom and they were buzzed inside. Everything was remarkably smart in the foyer. Lots of marble, stainless steel and mirrors and huge vases of well-arranged, brightly coloured flowers.
Liv was waiting for them at the front door of the apartment when they stepped out of the lift.
‘I’m so sorry we’re a bit late,’ Izzy said. ‘I know it’s ridiculous to get lost in Manhattan, with the grid system, but we managed it.’ Plus she’d spent too long deciding which of her two new sale-purchased outfits to wear.
Liv took the wine and chocolates that Izzy was holding, without looking at them. ‘No problem. Daddy’s a very punctual person but please don’t worry. I think the food can survive waiting for twenty minutes.’ Woah. Okay.
Thank goodness Sam had replied to her email saying that Emma wasn’t coming, so that he’d known not to cater for her. Really, she should have just texted or WhatsApped. She had his number from when he’d phoned her to discuss Barney the first time, but emailing was what they did.
Sam rounded the corner at the end of the hall and came towards the door, his hands held out, saying, ‘Thank you so much for the gift. And it’s a lot less than twenty minutes, more like five, the perfect time to arrive. No-one appreciates an early guest.’ Eek. He obviously thought they were over-late too. Or maybe he was just trying to compensate for Liv’s teenage hostility. Slash full-on hatred.
Sam leaned down and kissed Izzy’s cheek and her insides melted. Oh, God. She should not be experiencing this in front of Liv and Ruby. At all, actually.
He looked further down. ‘How are you, Ruby? Are you enjoying New York?’
‘Yes. We went to the zoo in Central Park this afternoon. I liked the penguins.’
‘Liv and Barney have always loved the zoo. We’re still members.’ Sam smiled at them all.
‘Yeah, although we did a project at school about whether it’s okay to keep penguins in New York,’ Liv said. Izzy snuck a look at her. Wow. Such a sneer.
Sam looked a little startled. ‘Why don’t you come into the kitchen and get something cold to drink?’ he said. ‘We have orange, apple and pineapple juice, Ruby. I’m hoping you like one of those?’ He started walking down the hall with Ruby, leaving Izzy to Liv.
‘Why don’t I show you round the apartment while Daddy gets the drinks? The living room, anyway. Would you like Daddy to bring you water to drink, Izzy?’ Liv’s smile was, frankly, terrifying. Was it normal to be intimidated by a thirteen-year-old? Liv was a child.
‘Great.’ Izzy overshot on the fake enthusiasm factor and ended up sounding ridiculous. Liv smiled at her as though she was weird, fair enough, and then led the way through the wide hall and into the first room on the right, a sitting room.
‘Wow.’ This time Izzy didn’t have to fake the enthusiasm. ‘This is a beautiful room.’ It had to be nearly thirty foot square and very high ceilinged. The walls were painted navy and the woodwork cream, and the soft furnishings were navy and lime velvet. Whoever had designed it had an excellent eye; they’d managed to create a feeling of both opulence and cosiness. She walked forwards towards the huge windows overlooking Central Park. ‘What a wonderful view.’
‘Yes.’ Liv moved close to her, effectively nudging her towards a side table with a number of photos on it. A large number of photos. Some of the photos were of a single subject, some of groups, but they all had one person in common. A stunning woman. Obviously Lana. In one photo she was in a wedding dress, next to the young Sam, suave in a suit, obviously a few hours after Izzy had asked him out on his wedding day. In others, she was holding the twins, as babies, then as toddlers. There were family photos. There were photos of Lana on her own, laughing, smiling, in action.
Liv was a bit taller than Izzy and she was standing quite close to her, looking at her hard. Izzy swallowed. The vibes coming off Liv were not friendly. How long were Sam and Ruby going to be in the kitchen? She really hoped he hadn’t given her too many drinks choices. They could be there for several minutes if so. Liv wasn’t speaking. She was just looking at Izzy. Bad.
‘So these are photos of your mother?’ Izzy ventured.
‘Yes.’ And then Liv started talking, at great length, about her mo
ther. Izzy smiled and nodded and felt desperately sorry for Liv and desperately awkward.
Nineteen
Sam
It had been a strategic error asking Ruby what juice she’d like. Sam had ended up walking to the kitchen with Ruby and leaving Izzy with Liv. This was not panning out how he’d planned.
Sam wasn’t a nervous person but he’d been almost pacing the apartment in anticipation of Izzy and Ruby’s arrival. Izzy had said that Emma wouldn’t be joining them after all. Sam was pleased. While he would have liked to have met Izzy’s best friend, he was hoping for the opportunity to talk more to Izzy alone.
When Izzy and Ruby had been due to arrive, Barney was in his room, not surprising, while Liv was flitting around the apartment, adjusting photos, cushions, flowers towards ever greater heights of perfection. Mrs H kept the place immaculate, but apparently that wasn’t good enough for Liv today, which was odd, because Sam would have sworn from her behaviour at the weekend and a couple things she’d said during the week that she had no desire whatsoever to impress Izzy – quite the reverse. Something had happened on Sunday afternoon to change Liv’s view of Izzy, and Sam couldn’t work out what that was.
Maybe, given how anxious she seemed for everything to be just right, she’d mellowed. Or, if not, maybe today she’d realise how great Izzy actually was. Although, really, it was irrelevant. Your kids didn’t have to like your friends, although it would be nice if they did. And realistically they might never see her again. He didn’t take them to London that often and this sounded like a once-in-a-decade trip for Izzy, plus the twins were getting older and within a few years would be more independent. He and Izzy could meet up in future without the kids.
Sam had returned to the kitchen after checking on the kids, and re-checked the table. Yep. All good. He’d looked at his watch. Ten minutes late. Only polite – no-one ever liked when someone arrived exactly on time for a dinner party, formal or informal – but he couldn’t help worrying that for some reason she wouldn’t turn up.
He’d checked the bolognese again. Had he definitely added the oregano? Yes, he was sure he had.
And the doorbell had gone.
Liv had got there before him. Had she run there to beat him to it?
By the time Sam made it into the lobby, Liv had accepted wine and chocolates from Izzy with no audible thank you, and was ushering Izzy and Ruby inside, pointing out that they were late. Was she saying it on purpose? She was smiling like an angel, but she had to know how unfriendly it sounded.
Sam rushed to thank Izzy for the gift and to say that they’d arrived at the perfect time. And he’d over-compensated and probably made it sound as though he too thought they were late. Izzy was wearing a bright green skirt and a purple top, which looked great against her reddy-gold curls. In fact, she looked amazing. He leaned down and kissed her cheek. She smelled amazing too.
He’d caught a narrow-eyed look from Liv as he turned to speak to Ruby and then, after some sneery passive aggression from Liv, he’d decided that the safest thing to do was get drinks for everyone.
But it had backfired and now Liv was talking to Izzy in the living room, and Sam was in the kitchen with Ruby.
Ruby took her time choosing her drink. Should she have pineapple, which she’d never tried before, or should she have apple, which she knew she liked? Sam worked very hard at keeping an interested smile on his face the whole time while also trying hard, with zero success, to hear what was going on in the living room. Eventually, literally minutes later, Ruby had her apple juice, with three ice cubes, not two, or four. Sam should not have asked her how many cubes she wanted.
When they got into the living room, having called Barney from his bedroom on the way, Izzy was standing with Liv, holding a photo of Lana.
‘Hey again.’ Sam handed Izzy her iced water.
‘I was just telling Izzy about Mom,’ Liv said. ‘Izzy wanted to look at the photos.’
‘She was beautiful,’ Izzy said. Not much else anyone could say in the circumstances.
‘She was.’ Sam nodded. Not much else he could say, either.
‘We all miss her, don’t we, Dad?’ The look Liv threw him was shockingly challenging. Chin up, eyes hard. Sam snuck a look at Izzy. Her smile was a little wobbly. Unsurprisingly.
‘Yes, we do. Very much.’ The only possible answer. Did Sam actually miss Lana? Very much so, as the twins’ mother. Personally? Less so now. It had been a long time and, yes, they’d become good friends and he’d cared about her; but they hadn’t been true soulmates. ‘She was great. Obviously. Like her children. Why don’t we all sit down?’ He took the photo out of Izzy’s hands and put it back on the sideboard. Was it completely wrong that, at the same time as he was handling his late wife’s photo, he felt the brush of Izzy’s fingers against his own right to his core?
He turned round from replacing the framed photo very carefully amongst the other pictures and caught Liv looking at him again in an odd way, as though she was puzzling over something. Someone had rearranged things so that the sideboard was covered in photos of Lana. No prizes for guessing who. Liv was clearly keen to send a strong message to Izzy that her mother was very important. Sam wanted to throttle her and he wanted to hug her. He’d obviously made a huge mistake in inviting Izzy and Ruby here to the apartment. Liv blatantly felt threatened, presumably worried that he was planning to introduce Izzy into their lives in some kind of bigger way. Sam’s first loyalty would always be to his children and he needed to demonstrate that to Liv. Later, he was also going to mention to her that it was completely unacceptable to be rude to guests, but only once she understood that he would always put her and Barney first. He needed to keep the conversation with Izzy very light this evening.
Right now, he needed to make Izzy feel comfortable, without upsetting Liv further. Izzy was holding Ruby’s hand and studying a painting on the wall with a fixed, unnatural smile.
‘I bought that painting in London. Fond memories. Why don’t we all sit down?’ Sam suggested, leading the way over to the sofas and taking care to sit next to Liv. ‘Ruby, have you been anywhere other than the park and the zoo?’
He watched as Ruby chattered about the Children’s Museum of Manhattan, the Statue of Liberty, the Rockefeller Center, the shops. Liv, his amazing, infuriating, apparently insecure daughter, seemed to thaw as Ruby talked and was soon engaging with her, although avoiding Izzy’s eye, telling Ruby nicely about the Bronx Zoo. Izzy and Emma were planning to take Ruby there on Monday. Barney joined in as well. Izzy seemed to be consciously not catching Sam’s eye, instead focusing on the kids and making occasional very uncontroversial input to the conversation, mainly to clarify what Ruby was talking about when she got confused over the places they’d visited.
When Ruby had finished her drink, Sam stood up and said, ‘Why don’t we all go through to the kitchen?’
Liv and Barney cut bread and handed olives, marinated artichokes and Italian ham from the local Italian deli to Izzy and Ruby, while Sam cooked spaghetti and heated his bolognese sauce up.
‘The famous spag bol,’ Izzy said, laughing, as he handed steaming bowls out.
‘Yep. Barney chose a new cake recipe for dessert but I decided to play it safe. It’s not exactly fancy, but it never fails.’ He’d wanted to make a special meal for Izzy and at one point had genuinely toyed with the idea of making a beef Wellington, until he’d googled it and discovered that it looked both hard and very time consuming. On the rare occasions that he had guests over to the apartment for dinner, he used caterers, but he’d wanted to cook himself for Izzy.
‘Dad’s bolognese is the best.’ Liv did what Sam could only describe as a proprietorial smile. ‘My mom was a great cook too.’ Could she really remember Lana’s cooking? The twins had been only five when she died.
‘Great,’ said Izzy, brightly.
This was excruciating. Good job Sam never invited his dates to the apartment.
Dinner was hard work. Liv made several dozen references to her moth
er, while Izzy maintained forced-seeming cheeriness. Barney caught the tension and clammed up. Only Ruby seemed unaffected, chattering away.
All in all, against all his expectations, because he’d been really looking forward to this evening, Sam was heartily relieved when Izzy put her napkin on the table and pushed her chair back.
He’d never have expected that he’d be keen for her to leave. She was funny, kind-hearted, beautiful, basically wonderful. If Liv suspected that he had feelings for Izzy, she’d be right. Liv was also wonderful, in many of the same ways as Izzy. The crucial difference between Sam’s relationship with Izzy and his relationship with Liv was that Izzy had other friends, but Liv had only one father, and if there were ever a choice to be made, he would of course choose his kids. So it was best that Izzy leave now. He’d apologise by email somehow.
‘Thank you so much for the lovely evening,’ she said. ‘We should go. Ruby’s going to be very tired and we have some serious sightseeing to do tomorrow.’ Before this evening, Sam had vaguely considered suggesting that they meet up tomorrow afternoon, so that he and the twins could give a natives’ tour of New York City. He absolutely wasn’t going to do that now.
‘Hey.’ He infused his voice with as much warmth as he could. ‘It’s been a pleasure. Really. Great to see you. Hope you enjoy the rest of your stay.’
By the time they got to the front door, the relief that they were done with the torture was mingled with real disappointment. He’d really wanted to get the opportunity to talk more with Izzy. And now she was leaving.
He leaned down to kiss her cheek. His arms itched to hug her. He kept them firmly by his side, which probably looked quite odd. ‘Goodbye then.’
‘Bye.’ Izzy smiled up at him and his breath caught a little. Damn, he wished they could have had some time alone.
‘Byeeeee.’ Ruby danced off towards the elevator. Izzy gave a small laugh, raised a hand, and followed her.
