She nodded and smiled up at him. "I… I guess I just wanted to say hello." She felt suddenly shy, like she didn't know what to say to him. But this is what Mateo did to her. He sent her libido into overdrive which erased every sane thought in her head.
"Well, you can say hi to me anytime you want."
This was one of the things that she adored about him. Mateo loved Raina without question, without exception. Though he had strict rules when it came to her health and safety, he was quick to give her anything else she desired, including access to him and his body. He was completely invested in their relationship and despite some of his more questionable actions, Raina's heart belonged to him. Right or wrong, she would follow him into hell. Just the same as he would follow her.
"Are you hungry?" she asked him, tilting her head up to see his face.
"Yes." His answer came out in an emphatic growl.
Raina started to turn away from him. "Your supper is warming in the oven. I had Lydia make a plate for you. Is that okay?"
He grabbed her arm and swung her back around into his chest. "No, it's not okay. It's not food I want right now."
"Oh." She blushed, but she didn't have time to respond. Mateo picked her up, holding her close against his chest as he strode up the stairs, taking them two at a time in a dizzying pace.
He shoved their bedroom door open and then booted it shut. He dropped Raina onto the mattress and then came down on top of her. They both laughed as his heavy weight landed on her, knocking the breath out of her.
She looped her arms around his neck and looked up at him. "You know I love you, right? Sometimes you make me crazy, but the loving never stops."
He framed her face with his hands and gazed down at her, his dark eyes melting to a deep chocolate. "I have waited years to hear these words from you. You are mi amor. Only you, always you." He lifted her hand and pressed her palm against his chest over his heart. "This organ beats for you alone. The day that I lose you is the same day that I leave this earth in the hope that I will find you in the hereafter."
Tears sparked in Raina's eyes as he spoke. She hadn't expected a declaration like this, but she believed him. She believed every word. Mateo didn't lie. He was the definition of intense brooding honesty.
She was saved from having to pull words from a brain gone silly with love and hope. His head descended to hers and he took her lips in a heated kiss.
They removed their clothes in an awkward twisting of limbs and fingers while trying to maintain their kiss. Raina grinned broadly and laughed into his mouth as he tried to tug her shirt over her head but got a button caught in her hair. Without breaking the kiss he tried to untangle the button without tugging too much at her scalp.
"For fuck’s sakes, why do women's clothes have so many buttons and zippers and stuff?" He broke the kiss so he could examine what was going on with her hair.
Raina laughed at him and slid her hands between their bodies to work on his belt buckle. He lifted his hips giving her some room, but the raging hard on pressing against his zipper made it more difficult to get everything undone.
Finally, Mateo made the adult decision that they should stand up and remove everything, then start over. They laughed like teenagers as they tugged clothes off and hopped around on one foot trying to drag socks off their feet. It was ridiculous and it was hilarious, but it was also sexy. Raina's breath shortened as his body was revealed to her.
Mateo had always had a hard body, rippling with lean slabs of muscle. But lately, he’d been amping up his workouts. The muscles in his arms and thighs popped out bigger than ever and his stomach was so tight she actually wanted to try bouncing a quarter off it. She believed the workouts helped him with the stress of his Miami takeover.
It felt good to see him grinning at her. It made him look younger, closer to her age than the fifteen years that separated them. When he grinned with happiness, he looked like a beautiful boyish charmer to her.
When they were finally naked, he reached for her. She flung herself into his arms and gave a hop. He caught her and lifted her against his body helping her wrap her legs around his waist. He fell backwards on the bed, Raina landing on top of him.
She pressed her hands against his pectoral muscles and leaned over to kiss him, her blond hair creating a soft halo around them, cutting the world off as their kiss deepened and they lost themselves in physical sensation.
Raina tried to roll off Mateo so he could climb on top of her, but he caught her by the hips and held her still. He broke their kiss and said, "I want you to stay on top. I want you to fuck me, to take your pleasure from my body."
She bit her lip and looked down at him, thinking about it. Her voice was breathless when she replied, "But I don't know what I'm doing. We've only done this a couple times. What if I screw up?"
He held her face above his, her hair still swirling around them. "You can't screw up. I will never let that happen. I was born to worship you, just as you were born to belong to me. Whatever comes our way, we will always deal with it together."
Raina's heart nearly burst from her chest. She knew he was talking about more than her being on top during sex. He was talking about the rest of their lives. His words were so beautiful, so romantic. She wanted to hold him close to her heart and never let go.
She nodded, comfortable now that Mateo wouldn't let her screw up a new sex position. He would guide her, and he would catch her if she fell.
"Lift yourself up on your knees." He wrapped his hands around her waist and helped her. "Now reach between us and place my cock at your entrance. Don't worry, you can do it."
Raina blushed at his instructions, but she reached down between their bodies and grasped him in her hand. Though he was hard as rock, his skin was softer than she thought he would be. This was her first time touching him there. She took an extra few seconds to ran run her hand up and down the shaft and then swirled her thumb over the tip.
It took some maneuvering but finally she was able to press the velvety tip of his cock against the entrance of her pussy. He held her above him until she was ready, then he said, "Now lower yourself slowly. I'll help you."
Inch by inch, Raina lowered herself onto his cock, impaling herself. At first, the sensations were wonderful, sparking pleasure throughout her pussy. But as she continued filling herself with his rigid penis, the pressure became uncomfortable.
It was a strain for Mateo to lay still, she could tell from the look on his face. But he was patient with her, allowing her to take him in her own time. And she did. It probably took her minutes before she was fully seated on top of him and several more minutes before the pain receded and she was ready to start moving.
At first, she had a difficult time finding a rhythm; she felt awkward wiggling her hips and moving around on top of him. After a while though, she realized that simply rocking back and forth sent incredible sparks of pleasure rushing through her. He groaned, indicating that he was also enjoying what she was doing. She loved that she could see his face, that she could control how much of him she took. She could control the rhythm, the speed, everything. She felt powerful.
"Touch yourself." She almost missed what he said, between the gruffness of his voice and being lost to her own pleasure. She stared down at him, not moving.
Mateo took her hand and curled her fingers until three of them were against her palm. Then he took her forefinger and her middle finger and pressed them to her pussy, over top of her clit. She gasped as he increased the pressure, helping her masturbate herself. The sensation stole her breath. It was more incredible than anything she'd experienced before. His hand on hers, her touching herself, her on top rocking back and forth. It was almost too much, but not enough.
Lost to the world around her, Raina flung her head back and arched her back, closing her eyes. She continued her rhythm, climbing higher and higher towards her favourite peak, the one just out of reach but so worth the pain of getting there. Finally, when she thought she could take no more, when she was positi
ve that she was about to lose her rhythm, Mateo pressed her fingers hard against her, pressing her clit against her pubic bone.
“Come for me,” he whispered up at her.
A kaleidoscope of colours shot past Raina's closed eyelids, sending fireworks through her head and frying every thinking brain cell she had left.
Raina was so lost in her own pleasure that she stopped moving on top of Mateo, which she guessed didn't work for him since he took hold of her hips and began moving her himself. He pushed her hips back and forth, forcing her down on his cock and then back up again, over and over until she could feel him flaring wide inside her.
She gasped, clinging to his shoulders. She was so much more full when she was on top of him that she didn't know if she could take it. She leaned forward against his chest, digging her fingernails into the flesh as he flung his head back, pressing it into the mattress and grunting his pleasure as he spurted his seed up inside her.
Raina collapsed on top of him, grateful that he was big enough to take her weight without complaint. They lay that way for several long minutes, completely spent, completely satiated.
Raina definitely wanted to try that position again. And again. And again. She didn't think she would ever get enough of being on top. Being in control.
As she had that thought, Mateo flipped her over onto her back and crawled on top of her, pressing kisses all over her face, neck, and chest until she was laughing hysterically and shoving him over onto his side of the bed.
Chapter Forty-Seven
Mateo’s and Raina's truce didn’t last long. If Raina was being honest with herself, she would admit that they’d probably never have a completely contention free relationship. Although this time, their difference in opinion was monumental, one she didn't think she would be able to overcome. In the course of twenty-four hours she had discovered that she was more in love that she could ever imagine, then she was sent spiraling into despair with only a few words from her fiancé.
It happened the following morning, after a night filled with sex, laughter, and the occasional bout of sleep. Raina had woken up feeling completely satisfied, totally in love and ready to greet the world with her happiness. She stretched and reached over to Mateo’s side of the bed, not really expecting him to be there.
She was surprised when her hand landed on hard hot flesh. Her eyes popped open and she rolled her head to the side, looking at him. Mateo was looking back at her, his beautiful eyes expressing love though his face had fallen into its familiar granite lines.
She understood. He would have to go back to work in a few minutes, remove himself from their bubble and face the underground world that he was challenging.
"Good morning." She smothered a yawn against his shoulder.
He smoothed the hair off her forehead and leaned over to kiss her. "Good morning, mi amor. You were sleeping soundly, and I didn't have the heart to either slip away or wake you."
"So you decided to watch me instead. That's creepy you know, watching a person sleep." She said it with a grin and pushed herself up, rolling toward the edge of the bed.
"It's not creepy if you’re fucking the person."
Raina laughed as she made a beeline for the bathroom, shoving the door shut. She quickly relieved her screaming bladder, washed her hands and then ran back to the bed, hurtling herself on top of him. He caught her with a grunt and held her in place, her body sprawled out on top of his.
They lay that way for a few minutes, enjoying the warmth of a nice long hug. Finally, Mateo set her aside, tucked the blanket around her legs and got off the bed to get dressed. She realized he was staying home when he pulled on a pair of gym shorts, a T-shirt, socks and running shoes. He was going into the yard to work out.
Not wanting to end her time with him, Raina asked, "Want help with a sparring session?"
He shook his head. "I need to work out hard this morning. Got to keep my skills at peak levels in case anyone decides to challenge my takeover."
Raina was hurt by his words. Obviously, he wasn't feeling the desperate need to spend more time with her, the way she wanted to be with him. She mumbled defensively, "I can spar pretty hard. You don't have to go easy on me."
He looked down at her and when she refused to lift her eyes, he tilted her chin. He wanted her to see how serious he was. "You will never be required, nor will you be allowed, to ever spar as hard as me. Not even as hard as Angela. That isn't your role here. You are my wife, keeper of my heart and my home. Though I want you to have some defensive skills, I won't allow your fragile body to become exhausted by the work."
Raina wanted to argue that she wished he thought of that weeks ago on the night he woke her up from her bed and dragged her into the yard to torture her with a brutal sparring session. But she knew that would be petty. He'd been upset, out of his mind over worry for her. This was different.
However, despite her understanding the difference, she didn't agree. "I'm not some delicate flower, Mateo. I can take a solid beating if I need to. You don't have to go easy on me all the time. I'm not going to up and die on you."
The last traces of softness left his eyes, leaving behind the awful blankness. She hated it.
"You will not die because I won’t let you. This is not up for discussion. You’ll never be placed in a position where you’re forced to give more than you can take. I won’t allow it."
"So all I'm good for is setting up your home, organizing your meals and laundry and having your babies?" she demanded. As much as she enjoyed feeling protected by him, she also felt stifled by his overprotection.
"No babies." The two words were said without inflection. At first, Raina didn't understand.
"What do you mean ‘no babies’." She let out a humourless laugh. "So far I haven't noticed us using any protection. And I'm guessing you would've mentioned it by now if you wanted us to be using it. I assumed you wanted babies."
Mateo stepped away from the bed, putting distance between them. "It's not about wanting babies, but about having them. We won’t be having any."
Raina frowned, attempting to understand his words. She really hoped he wasn't thinking what she thought he was thinking. The man was unbelievable. He wanted to control every aspect of her life, especially her health. But she was going to go out of her mind if he suddenly decided that she couldn't have babies simply because she’d had a kidney transplant when she was twelve years old.
"Is this about me? You don't think that I can have a baby?" she asked incredulously. "Have you done any research? Plenty of women who've had transplants go on to have perfectly healthy babies."
"I’ve done my research and I have determined that your health is not worth the risk."
Raina's mouth fell open. This really was about her. And this was a really serious conversation. Perhaps one that they shouldn't be having while she was still in bed naked. Raina climbed off the bed and reached for her bathrobe dragging it over her nude body and belting it tightly. She turned to face him, giving him the full wrath of her glare.
"You do not get to make this decision alone," she said furiously pointing at him. "This is my body. I’ve always intended to become a mother and if you think you’re going to stop me, then you're going to have one hell of a fight on your hands."
He continued to stare at her without expression though she wanted to believe that there was a hint of sadness in his eyes. "I was afraid you would think this way."
She threw her hands up in the air. "A lot of women want babies. Of course, it's natural for me to want one too. When I was a child, my parents made sure to ask all the right questions. We were told that I should be able to carry a baby to term without a problem."
"But there would be a strain on your body. You only have one kidney and you’re still required to take immunosuppressants to make sure your body doesn’t reject the kidney, which means your health is always at risk. Even the flu can become deadly for someone like you. I won’t allow you to take that risk. It’s too great. I won’t allow your life to be
shortened by even one day if I can do anything to help it."
Raina was too angry at him to absorb the sheer magnitude of what he was saying, what he was willing to do for her.
"That isn't your decision to make alone. We either make it together, our I will make it by myself."
"No, you won't." His voice was calm, but there was a thread of steel underlying it.
"And how exactly do you intend to stop nature?” she demanded sarcastically. "We haven't exactly been practicing safe sex. I could be pregnant already. What do you intend to do, have me abort the baby? I’ll tell you right now, that’s not going to happen. Or if you plan on forcing protection for the rest of my life, I'll go find the nearest fertility clinic."
Finally, he showed her a glimpse of anger, his eyes narrowing and his lips tightening. "You’re not pregnant and I will not be getting you pregnant. Nor will you be seeking out any fertility clinics. You won’t enjoy the consequences if I find you sniffing around one of those places, either now or in the future."
Raina huffed out a breath, rolled her eyes and crossed her arms over her chest. "I don't see how you intend to stop me from getting pregnant. We’ve had sex at least a dozen times now. In my estimation, given the time of month, I could easily be pregnant."
"No, you can't." His voice was so positive that it finally dawned on her that he knew something she didn't.
"Why do you sound so sure?"
He looked as though he didn't want to speak, as though he didn't want to devastate her with his words. Then he seemed to harden himself to her feelings and said, "Two years ago, after you left Venezuela and I realized that you were the only woman I would marry, I had a vasectomy. Even then I realized that it wouldn’t be possible for you to carry my child."
Raina was so stunned that she took several steps back, groping behind her for the chair and then collapsing into it. A vasectomy. She hadn't seen that coming. She didn't know of many men that would choose to have one at Mateo’s age. Especially a man that hadn’t fathered any children. She’d assumed he would want children.
Born a Queen (The Queens Book 3) Page 26
