No Other Love

by Jade Winters

  ‘Hi, Amber,’ she said, looking contrite.

  Amber stared at Helen who was grinning like a Cheshire cat.

  ‘Is this some kind of sick joke?’ Amber said, then turned to walk out.

  ‘You wouldn’t answer my calls,’ Amber heard Sophie say loudly behind her. ‘Helen was only trying to help.’

  Amber ignored her.

  It was all too much.

  Too much to process all in one go.

  Too much deceit.

  She had her coat back on and was just beginning the grinding walk back to the main road when Sophie caught up with her. Snowflakes began to fall from the sky above just as Sophie took Amber by the forearm and turned her around so they were facing each other.

  ‘Please, Amber. Don’t go.’

  ‘Why? So you can lie, or get your friend to lie to me?’

  ‘I had no choice. You wouldn’t answer my calls or texts.’

  ‘And why do you think I did that?’ Amber said, already feeling the heat disperse from her body. Sophie’s face was the picture of complete misery and try as she might, Amber knew she wouldn’t be able to stay mad at her if she remained for much longer.

  ‘Because of me and Alison?’

  ‘Partly, but the truth is I don’t think I’ve ever forgiven you for how you treated me at school.’ This must have been a deeper trigger than Amber realised because at that very moment she felt a prickling sensation behind her eyes, and that same ache that had been present in her heart.

  The pain.

  The humiliation.

  The shame of not feeling good enough.

  That she was so easy to dispose of.

  The memory of that day bubbled to the surface like a volcano ready to erupt. Even though she now knew that Sophie had been going through her own troubles, the knowledge did nothing to dispel the anguish Amber still felt.

  She had been so vulnerable. So open. So naïve.

  Sophie had jumped into bed with her the day after she’d broken up with Alison. How could she be sure she wouldn’t do the same to her?

  As if reading her mind, Sophie said, ‘My relationship with Alison is nothing like ours. I never really loved her. Not in the same way I feel about you. I was a stupid teenager, I’ll hold my hands up to that all day long,’ she held up her hands palms out, ‘but I’m not the same person I was back then. As crazy as it sounds, I’ve loved you since the first day I laid eyes on you. And as for Alison’s accusation, we broke up weeks ago and she was the one that dumped me. I only told her I’d give it another go because I thought I didn’t have a chance with you.’

  Amber remained silent, letting her words sink in.

  ‘And I’m sorry I lied to you about having a boyfriend… and not just being honest and up front. I know you value honesty more than anything.’

  At this, Amber combed her fingers through her hair. In the midst of all the drama that had taken place since she’d arrived, she’d forgotten all about her imaginary fiancé. It looked like it was time for her to come clean.

  ‘Before I lose my nerve, I’ve got to tell you the truth about something. I’m not really engaged, and there isn’t anyone called Teddy in my life. I thought it would be easier on you, and me too, if there was a reason we couldn’t get together. Sweeten the bitter pill, you know?’

  ‘What?’ Sophie asked, frowning. ‘You’re not just saying it, are you?’

  ‘Do you honestly think I’d date someone called Teddy?’ Amber said, trying to inject humour into the tense atmosphere. ‘And before you think I’m name-shaming, there is absolutely nothing wrong with the name Teddy. In fact, if our first born is a boy, that’s the name we’ll give him.’

  For a few moments, Sophie stared at Amber with a gamut of emotions crossing her face. Confusion. Joy. Bewilderment. All mixed into one that ended with the first tear rolling down her cheek.

  ‘What are we like?’ Sophie said, taking a step towards Amber, brushing the snow from her hair. Her defences down, Amber slid her arm around Sophie’s waist as she drew nearer then leant in and dropped the softest of kisses on Sophie’s cold but pliant lips.

  Amber drew back and fixed Sophie with a stare.

  ‘So you love me, eh?’ Amber said.

  Sophie blushed then gave the tiniest nod.

  ‘Say it again.’

  ‘I love you,’ Sophie said. ‘And I always will.’

  Amber gently wiped away Sophie’s tears with her thumb. ‘You remember that scene in Ghost, where Demi Moore says she loves Patrick Swayze?’

  ‘Yeah.’

  ‘Well, I’ve always wanted to use that line… so.’ Amber grinned. ‘Ditto.’

  ‘I take it everything’s okay now?’ Helen called from the doorway with a huge smile on her face.

  ‘Everything’s perfect,’ both women said in unison as the snow continued to fall.

  And it was.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Sophie woke up the next morning, feeling the warmth of Amber’s naked skin wrapped around her. She smiled to herself at the memory of the night before. They’d barely got through the front door before they’d started tearing each other’s clothes off. Such was the intensity of the moment, they only made it halfway down the hallway before they were both naked and all over each other’s bodies. Hands and tongues were anywhere that was a pleasurable zone. Not even the coldness of the hard-wooden floor could deter their passion for one another. When they both reached the peak of orgasm, they melted into one, finally together at long last.

  Sophie was tempted to wake Amber up for round six, or would it be round seven? She’d lost count of the amount of times they’d made love after the third time. Each and every orgasm had been as powerful as the first. Sophie had never known sex could be so exciting. Amber certainly had a lot of ideas up her sleeve that she’d never experienced with anyone before.

  Amber stirred in her arms and slowly opened her eyes. ‘Morning.’

  ‘Morning, gorgeous,’ Sophie said, planting a kiss on her mouth, causing her to feel a stir of desire between her legs.

  As if sensing her mood, Amber slid her hand between Sophie’s thighs and grinned up at her. ‘Hmmm, someone’s feeling horny this morning.’

  Sophie parted her thighs slightly to enable Sophie to place her fingers more comfortably against her clit. Amber closed her eyes as she circled Sophie’s clit with her finger. A zing of electricity travelled the length of Sophie’s body and deep into her core.

  Sophie groaned. This is the life. I could so get used to this.

  Just as the thought entered her mind, the sensation below suddenly vanished, and she placed her hand over Amber’s to stop her.

  Amber looked at her confused. ‘Am I doing something wrong?’

  ‘No, you’re doing everything right. That’s the problem.’

  Amber pushed herself onto her elbow. ‘Do you want to explain what that means?’

  How could Sophie explain that the prospect of having a long-distance relationship with her was likely to be an insurmountable problem. A sudden feeling of despair overwhelmed her, but she didn’t want to spoil the perfection of the moment. So instead of telling Amber the truth, she slid down the bed and buried her face between Amber’s legs, causing Amber to forget that Sophie had said anything in the first place.

  It didn’t take long after making love again for them to both fall asleep.

  When Sophie woke up, the warmth beside her had gone and she felt a depth of loss she hadn’t expected to feel. Had Amber left without saying goodbye? There was no cliched note on the pillow. No letter propped up on the bedside table. No message on her phone when she leant over to pick it up and unplug it from where she’d left it charging the previous night.

  She sniffed. The unmistakeable aroma of fresh coffee was slowly filling the room along with the smell of bacon cooking.

  Throwing back the covers, she swiftly got out of bed and went downstairs.

  The hum of the extractor fan in the kitchen filled the air as Sophie padded into the kitchen
barefoot.

  ‘Hey,’ Sophie said, at which Amber nearly leapt out of her skin, dropping the two pieces of toast she held in her hand onto the worktop.

  Sophie couldn’t help but burst out laughing. ‘I’m so sorry, Amber. I didn’t mean to scare you, I thought you heard me.’

  Amber grinned once she calmed down and pointed to the extractor fan.

  ‘Can’t hear a bloody thing with that going.’

  Sophie walked up behind her, wrapping her arms around her waist, and nuzzling a soft kiss to her neck which elicited a gentle moan of pleasure that Sophie found more exciting than she probably should have.

  ‘So you cook, do you?’ Sophie whispered softly into Amber’s ear.

  ‘If you call burning bacon cooking, then yes.’

  ‘I love burnt bacon.’ Sophie pulled Amber even tighter against her.

  ‘That’s good, because it’s coming with a round of burnt toast too.’

  ‘Oooh, I’ll take anything that comes from you,’ Sophie said with a giggle.

  ‘Naughty,’ Amber laughed.

  The dark cloud Sophie knew was on the horizon about their future was going to have to wait. Sophie decided she was just going to enjoy the moment while she could.

  ‘Can you pour some coffee please?’

  ‘If I must, although I prefer helping this way,’ Sophie said before planting another kiss on Amber’s neck, forcing another totally alluring little groan from her.

  ‘Do you want breakfast, even if it is burnt offerings?’

  ‘Yeah, I suppose so, after all the effort you put into it, it’d be rude not to,’ Sophie said letting go of Amber reluctantly, then attending to pouring the coffee into two mugs.

  ‘Good.’ Amber turned off the heat, grabbed an oven mitt, then leant down to pull a plate out of the oven that was piled high with bacon.

  Sophie was wide-eyed at the mound.

  ‘Bloody hell, Amber, who else is coming to breakfast? There’s a mountain there. You’re not expecting me to eat half of them, are you?’

  ‘I expect you to try,’ Amber said as she set off into the dining room.

  Don’t you worry, Sophie thought, I’m going to try everything I know to get you to stay.

  Sophie grabbed their coffees and followed Amber through.

  For the next twenty minutes, they ate and talked. Happily. Cheerfully even.

  When Sophie slipped the last piece of charred bacon into her mouth, she let out a gentle sigh and leant back in her chair, feeling replete, and at one with her world.

  This was what she wanted. This was a small taste of the life she pictured in her head. A sunny morning. A cheerful breakfast. Amber sitting across the table from her.

  Sophie glanced over at Amber’s silence to find her peering pensively into her coffee cup.

  The vision of perfection in her head disappeared in a puff of smoke.

  She knew what was coming.

  She knew she would lose something in the next few minutes. The mirage of the life she had envisioned with the woman she loved.

  ‘I have to go back to New York today,’ Amber said quietly.

  The words hit Sophie harder than she thought they would. She was expecting it, but she could tell from Amber’s voice, that she found the prospect of them parting just as painful.

  ‘I didn’t realise it would be so soon,’ was all Sophie could say, not trusting herself to not burst into tears.

  ‘I don’t want to go, but I got a call this morning to say things have started to kick off with this new client again. Her launch is Friday. I have to be back to hold her hand through it.’

  ‘I understand, Amber. Will you be back?’

  Amber gulped, then sipped on her coffee before answering.

  ‘I will.’

  Sophie’s heart soared.

  ‘But,’ Amber hesitated, not able to look Sophie in the eye, ‘I don’t know when.’

  Amber rose from her seat, went to Sophie’s side and knelt down beside her. ‘I’ve been thinking about it all morning, trying to figure out a way of making this relationship work…’

  ‘And?’

  ‘And I couldn’t come up with one solution. It wouldn’t be fair of me to ask you to give up your life and be with me in New York, and I can’t give up the life I’ve built over there, even if I wanted to. I’ve spent years building my dream and I’m just about to hit the big time… I can’t turn my back on what I’ve worked so hard for.’

  Sophie didn’t try to hide the tears that now rolled down her cheeks. What for? She was hurting. Amber was hurting. The truth was they couldn’t be together. Not now. And not any time in the near future, but maybe one day. They were still only twenty-six. Who knew where they’d be in another ten years?

  They remained looking at each other in sad silence for a few moments. Amber’s eyes now filled with her own tears.

  ‘You know this doesn’t mean I love you any less, right?’ Amber said, her voice full of emotion.

  ‘I know,’ Sophie said, her throat constricting.

  Amber wiped her tears away with the back of her hand. ‘I promised myself I wouldn’t cry.’

  ‘Me too,’ Sophie said.

  The silence dropped on them again, broken only by the sniffing and clearing of their throats as they tried to maintain some control.

  ‘So, what’s next?’ Sophie asked eventually.

  ‘Washing up?’ Amber said with fake cheerfulness.

  Sophie snorted but couldn’t force a smile.

  ‘What time’s your flight?’

  Amber checked her phone. ‘In four hours but I have to pack and get to the airport two hours before so I’m going to have to make a move soon.’

  Sophie nodded sadly. She’d known this moment would come but she’d hoped that there might be a way past it. Hope had sprung eternal but had proved to be as mortal as anything else and was now lying, writhing in its death throes on the ground.

  ‘We can still keep in touch. On the phone, Skype, WhatsApp…’ Amber said, sounding like it was the answer to their situation.

  ‘That’ll be nice,’ Sophie lied. ‘Go on, you’d better get ready. I’ll wash up.’

  I need to stay busy or I’ll just be a quivering heap on the floor.

  Amber nodded.

  An hour later, they stood at the front door. Sophie blinked away her tears. She didn’t want to remember their parting like this.

  ‘Want me to come to the airport?’

  Amber shook her head. ‘I love airport hellos but airport goodbyes – not for me. It’s bad enough saying goodbye here.’

  Sophie got it.

  Amber leant over and her quivering lips met Sophie’s.

  They shared that last moment of sweet intimacy, and Amber was suddenly gone, like she’d never been there.

  Sophie shut the door, turned, then leant back on it and slowly, as the tears began to fall, she slid down and cried like she’d never cried before.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Two weeks later

  Time had flown by for Sophie. She returned to work and spent most of her time there, working long into the night when everyone had gone home, even the cleaners. The thought of being alone with her thoughts tormenting her when there was nothing occupying her mind, was worse than what she imagined hell to be like. So far it was working but she didn’t know how long she’d be able to carry on at such a pace without suffering from complete burnout.

  On the positive side, the feared showdown with Alison hadn’t been as bad as she’d suspected. They’d shared a coffee in the local café and had spoken calmly and maturely about their breakup, and about Alison catching her in the act with Amber. An action that she regretted deeply, but Alison was now seeing someone new and was happy and content, so it was all good.

  Despite separating from Amber, she actually felt pretty good about their situation, if heartbroken at the same time. They spoke and messaged regularly and always finished their call with a jokey flash of their breasts. This was something Sophie looked forward
to as she thought Amber’s breasts were the best ones she’d ever seen.

  Her phone rang. 10 p.m. on the dot.

  ‘What’re you looking so happy about?’ Sophie asked Amber, seeing her smile fill the screen on her phone.

  ‘We have just signed the biggest deal imaginable,’ Amber said.

  ‘That’s amazing. I wish I was there to celebrate with you.’

  ‘Me too.’

  Sophie could hear music in the background and assumed Amber had pulled away from the party to give her the news.

  ‘Look on my Twitter page, the signing’s gone viral.’

  While she put her phone on loudspeaker, she typed Amber’s Twitter handle and there Amber was, stood beaming next to a beautiful young singer. If Sophie said she wasn’t jealous, she would have been lying. The fact that they made a perfect looking couple only served to feed her paranoia.

  Not that she had any room to say anything. They’d both agreed if they met someone else, neither would keep such information to themselves, which was fine with Sophie as she had zero interest in hooking up with anyone. Whether Amber chose to cross the line with someone else was her choice.

  Sophie picked up her phone and smiled at Amber. ‘I’m so happy for you, Amber. You deserve all the success you get.’

  ‘Thanks, it means a lot coming from you.’

  Sophie heard someone call out Amber’s name. ‘I gotta go, speak soon.’

  ‘Okay, have a great night.’

  Just as Sophie was about to disconnect the call Amber said, ‘Er hello…’

  Sophie laughed as she looked at Amber’s breasts filling the screen. In response, she took out her own breasts and flashed them at Amber.

  ‘Ha-ha, I miss them so much…’

  ‘More than you miss me?’

  ‘Hmmm.’

  ‘Let’s call it a close second.’

  The voice behind Amber grew more insistent.

  ‘I’m coming, I’m coming,’ Amber called back. ‘And Sophie please make sure you eat something tonight. And get a good night’s sleep.’

  Amber blew her a kiss and the screen went dark.

  As much as Sophie tried to push the image of Amber partying with all those fun, interesting people out of her head, it just intensified. What did she want with someone as boring as Sophie, when she had all that glamour and talent at her feet? She doesn’t. That’s why I’m here and she’s in New York.