A Father's Dreams

by Andrew Petoski

  “Do you need a hand?” I ask her.

  “Sure. Grab those two tripods and follow me,” she instructs walking off for the aisle. She stops at the beginning of the aisle and gestures down to her right foot. “Right there,” she indicates. I take one of the tripods and set it up where she had pointed with her foot. She then hands me one of the cameras to my now empty right hand and sets up a video camera on the tripod I just set up. “One more, come on.” We walk down the aisle and then went to the side in front where she again pointed with her foot. She took the second camera from me so I could set up and then screwed it in place. “Thanks that’s all I needed. Remember to smile. I’ll be around,” she says walking back off to the van.

  “Well I guess she has things handled,” I thought to myself.

  Taking my position in the front I greet Clara’s mom and tell her how blessed we are to have her daughter in our lives. Thanking me, we both walk down the aisle and take our seats as Matt waits in his place by the minister.

  Music began to ring through the air and the rest of the wedding party began their journey down the aisle. The music crescendos as Clara comes forward with her dad in her white dress. The two join hands in front of us all, and the minister tells a quick story about the two of them before beginning the vows.

  The timing is perfect as they take one another as man and wife and join in a kiss as the sun is setting on the pond beyond them. Everyone cheers and the wedding party exits to a limo waiting for them in the road at the beginning of the aisle.

  Everyone gets up to find their cars, and for the first time in a long time I’m by myself. I’ll soon be surrounded by new family and friends, but the quick drive to the reception hall has a sort of emptiness to it.

  Walking in, people are instructed to get their food from the caterer before sitting down at their assigned seats. Most of the party is typical, the best man and maid of honor make their embarrassing speeches after everyone is seated. Every five minutes glasses clank to get Matt and Clara to kiss. Then, a mass of people horde to the cake to watch Matt and Clara cut it. They wait for me and the photographer to arrive before cutting in and then nicely feed each other a small bite. “Wow, uneventful,” I think, “and so unlike Matt,” but it just went to show he took her serious and appreciated her.

  After cake we all sat back down except for Matt. He remained standing and waited for everyone to quite down.

  “My new wife has a quick announcement to make,” announces Matt. The hall is quiet as Clara stands up and takes the microphone from Matt.

  “Mom, dad, Mr. Curry thank you so much for being in our lives when we needed you and for being there for us in the future when we make those late night calls for advice as we’re going to need it, grandma and grandpas,” Wait, what? Wow, Matt never, I couldn’t hear my own thoughts for a moment as the place went into an uproar. “So Matt, husband take my champagne and everyone else, let’s celebrate!” I couldn’t get up as Clara and Matt approached me. They each took a turn hugging me, and they confirmed to me that I indeed will be a grandpa. Getting dizzy my head begins to race in shock of what just occurred. I was not expecting that at all.

  The party goes on, and I eventually get out and onto the floor to make my attempts at dancing after the DJ picks up the beat when their first song is complete. Making several trips to the bar I begin to embrace and process the idea of being a grandfather and of the joy the little one will bring to everyone. Several hours go by and the bride and groom’s departure is announced. I say my congrats and kiss them both on the way out the door, ensuring I’m the last one in line, gotta save the best for last. I watch as the newlyweds climb into the limo and drive away.

  Going back to the party now I search for Hadley and find her getting into the spiked punch. I can tell I haven’t kept a good eye on her tonight after the announcement because I could tell she was a little sloshed and needed to go as well. We depart the party ourselves but not before Hadley throws up just outside the truck.

  “Better now than in the truck, that’s why you ain’t supposed to drink til you’re 21,” I scold her.

  Hadley passes out on the way home and I end up having to carry her passed out to her room. Getting her up those stairs is so much more exhausting now that she’s not two anymore. I head back downstairs then sit in my chair and let my head spin from the alcohol as I pass out dreaming about what it’ll be like to have a grandson or granddaughter.

  I wake up as Hadley exits her room and walks down the stairs. I’m beginning to get used to her early morning routine. Getting up out of bed I exit the bedroom to find Hadley standing in front of the door waiting for me. She looked like crap, bags under her eyes and exhausted from what must have been an all nighter trying to decipher it all. I stare at her in the doorway as tears well in her eyes.

  “How long?” she asks.

  “How long what?”

  “How long did you fight for us?”

  “It looks like you read through all the papers, you should know,” I respond.

  “It’s been almost two years since you did anything,” she shouts hitting me. “Two years.”

  “Almost two years,” I remind her. “I never stopped fighting for you and Matt. It’s been almost two years because the courts will only let me re-open the case once every two years. I’ve never stopped.” Hadley’s hits stop and turns into a hug as she sobs against me. I hug her in return and kiss the top of her hair. “Come on, let’s get some coffee and a bite to eat.” I lead her out of the house and to the truck.

  We head over to the diner Vikki works at. Pulling in I spot her car and thank god that she’s there.

  Inside I don’t take my normal seat at the bar but lead Hadley to a small table in the back corner where we can have a bit of privacy. Vikki spots us coming in and brings over two mugs and a whole thermos of coffee that she leaves at the table for us after looking at Hadley and seeing she wasn’t in sorts yet. We sit in silence and sip at our coffee. Hadley drowns hers in sugar, probably looking for an additional pick me up. I wait patiently for her to break the silence but she never does. Vikki comes back over to check on us.

  “Rough night dear?” Vikki asks Hadley.

  “Yeah, you could say that,” Hadley responds flatly.

  Vikki disappears behind the bar and comes back with two slices of blueberry pie, setting a slice down in front of each of us.

  “To help make your life a little sweeter,” says Vikki.

  “Thanks,” we both respond with little effect.

  “Are you okay?” I ask Hadley.

  “Yeah, I’ll be fine, I’m just pissed,” she states bitterly. Hesitantly I ask what she’s pissed off about, if it was the room or something I did. “No, it’s not you. I’m pissed off at mom and how much of a cunt she was. You never should have lost us.” I sigh in relief.

  “Thank you, Hadley,” I tell her. With feelings exposed we begin on our pie for breakfast, and it takes a while but we are eventually eased by the sugar rush we got.

  “So what do you want to do today?” I ask.

  “I want to go cut her.”

  “What ELSE do you want to do?”

  “Ice cream goes good with pie.”

  “Well they don’t have that here, but we can go when we’re done.”

  “Okay.”

  We eat our pie and Hadley begins to talk about growing up without a dad. How she always wanted one, a real one. Her mom would bring guys home, but they never stuck around. She and her brother always seemed to be the ones that would get blamed for it, especially her. Though her mom would never admit it was actually because she forced them out after throwing water or something in their face or smashing things around the house because they wouldn’t do what she wanted.

  Hadley went on to state that she started to believe her mom that she was the problem because why would her dad have ever abandoned her if she was so great? Unfortunately, I could imagine the mindfuck she’s been through because I dealt with it myself for years, it was just a different chess m
atch for her mom to play.

  Vikki secretly sits behind Hadley at the table behind her and eavesdrops on the tales. It wasn’t until Hadley started talking about how their mother would hit her that Vikki couldn’t take it anymore and began to cry. Hadley paused at her sounds of whimpering and turned around.

  “Are you okay?” she asked Vikki.

  “No, I watched your dad in here for years. From the days he used to take you here with him and every week to this day.”

  “Wait, I’ve been here before with you,” Hadley looks at me.

  “Yes, every Sunday until your mom started her shit and took you away,” I tell her.

  “He was so broken Hadley. Nothing kept your dad going except for the thought of you being home. We all thought he had gone mad when he locked up that room to protect every piece of you he had, and the presents. They would make him happy but we were just so worried that he’d snap one day at the thought of you never coming home, but he didn’t and he never gave up on you or Matt. I missed your pretty face too. Now I don’t know if I agree with the purple and red hair but having you back has put a new life into this town. And I can’t even begin to say what it’s done for him.” Vikki begins to cry again and Hadley stands up to soothe her.

  Watching Hadley I realize she has never changed from that girl I knew. Her mother beat her down emotionally and broke her but she could never break her kind spirit. Somehow through everything it was still there. Vikki controls her tears long enough to tell the two of us to get out of there and go spend some time together and forget about the bill. Hadley hugs her one more time then steps aside for me to come in and thank Vikki for believing for so long, then I too step away, and we exit.

  With enough negative vibes being set free this morning, we drove in silence to the ice-cream shop. We get out of the truck but it was not yet open. Suggesting a walk, the two of us head to the river boardwalk, and I begin to tell Hadley of my dreams.

  I tell her of how I dreamt we were there together at the ice cream shop just the week before she got back. I told her of all the dreams that I’ve had about her and Matt separately and the three of us together. I explain to her how I used to be a drunk before she got back and that I would drink myself to slumber whenever I could to spend time with either one of them.

  Every dream, every gift, every place that reminded me of them: I told her everything. As I continued my tales of what I had imagined was real, Hadley takes my hand as we continue our little walk. We get to the end of the boardwalk as I end my tales.

  Turning around as one we head back in hopes the doors to the ice-cream shop are open as Hadley reassures me we are going to make as many of those dreams a real memory as we can. On the way back we spot an early fisherman getting ready to throw his lines.

  “You got room for two more?” Hadley shouts to the man, waving him down.

  “Hundred dollars each,” he says. Hadley tugs on my arm.

  “Come on let’s go make some new dreams,” she begs. I check my wallet and do not have the cash.

  “You take card?” I ask him. He shrugs and looks into Hadley’s pleading eyes.

  “Come on,” he says waving us down. “You can come but since it’s not going to be a charter I keep the fish.” Hadley and I agree to the man’s terms and eagerly climb aboard.

  Sitting on the aft deck the man drives us out to sea as the spray begins to hit our faces. Two miles out and the man sets the ship to autopilot and comes back by the two of us.

  “Step aside,” he tells us. Me and Hadley move forward as he sets his lines and down riggers for the morning trawl. It takes him about twenty minutes to get everything set, during which Hadley and I are talking about how great it is to be out there and doing something fresh for the both of us.

  The captain takes his position back at the helm and instructs us to keep an eye on the lines and that if we saw any of them jump to shout up to him.

  We reassume our positions on the now cluttered deck and watch the lines.

  “So what do we do if there’s a fish on?” she asks me just as one of the rods takes a sharp dips towards the sea and pops back up.

  “Fish on!” I shout up to the captain pointing at the rod. The captain comes down holding a belt specially designed for setting the rod in and Hands it to Hadley just before he sets the hook.

  “Tighten the belt,” he tells her. Hadley tightens the belt as much she can. I walk over and give it one more good tug before the skipper walks over with the rod and places it into the rod notch. “Heave around and reel her in.”

  It doesn’t take long for Hadley to work up a sweat, and she had a fifteen minute fight ahead of her until the salmon was worked up to the surface alongside the boat. The skipper grabs his net and brings the fish aboard, placing it into a cooler filled with ice.

  “Nicely done,” the captain praises her. We take turns working the rods throughout the morning and become exhausted hauling in a total of seven fish, four for Hadley and three for me.

  Approaching noon the skipper calls it quicks and again has us step aside as he brings in all the lines and tackle. We relax and take in what sea air we could on the ride back in and tried to argue about who had the biggest fish, even though it really didn’t matter to either one of us.

  Getting back to shore the skipper thanked us for the help today and said he was glad he brought us along. Me and Hadley stepped off onto the dock after shaking his hand and thanking him in return before we head for our long awaited ice-cream date.

  I hadn’t been back to the ice-cream parlor since Hadley was two. Hoping it was the same as I had remembered we step inside and the smell of ice-cream and fudge fill the air. We go to the restrooms to clean our hands after handling the fish this morning and then meet each other back in front of the ice cream bar.

  Hadley hops up to the kid counter and asks the attendant for literally a sample of everything. Unsatisfied by just ice-cream she orders a Mocha with chocolate-ice cream and an extra shot of espresso. Taking her lead I ask for the same.

  Five minutes later our drinks are complete and we suck the straws of our chocolate coffee shakes which are to die for. We look around at all the decor: the train, the old fashioned candy, and then for some reason neither of us can sit in there anymore.

  The espresso hitting us we take our drinks outside and walk to the mini golf next door. We play for several hours, five rounds in all, only pausing to pick up a couple hotdogs from a food truck who parked nearby about half way through. We kept playing and talking until the lights turned on for the course, and we were eventually kicked off for the night at ten o’clock.

  We shared every story we could possible think of that day. Every fight, every happy event, our accomplishments and failures. We left nothing uncovered.

  Tired, she falls asleep on the way home, and I wake her up as we pull into our drive. Hadley hugs me outside and thanks me for the best day she’s had since she can remember.

  Thanking her for being there we head inside, Hadley up to her bed and me to mine.

  15

  Clara and Matt just had their baby last week, and I’m headed over to their house to check in on them and investigate who this new little one. Matt and Clara live out in the country. They bought an old farmhouse and have been trying to renovate it for the past three years.

  Around the time of the wedding gears in the house changed and getting the nursery done in time became the new focus. I’ve been out twice before the baby, but it really only took the first trip to get the major parts of the work done. New plaster, paint after it dried, a new ceiling fan in place of the single dome light, and new carpet were all completed the first weekend I was there.

  The second time out was less focused on helping Matt get things done and more focused on making the nursery comfortable for Clara and the baby. It took many runs to several stores to pick out the crib, rocker and every plush little thing you could think of. Clara’s family threw a baby shower for them last month to fill in the rest, a bunch of onesies and a ton of diape
rs and wipes.

  I’m about thirty minutes out when I get a call from Clara all worried about me wondering where I am. I assure her I’m on the highway and will be there within the hour.

  Pulling up into the gravel drive Matt had his truck parked to the side to give me room. Last time I was here Clara tried to get me to convince Matt to trade it in for a van but I simply told her I was going to stay out of their family decisions.

  Matt is out of the house as quickly as I pull in and is literally trying to push me towards the front door going on about how he doesn’t want me to miss anything. I walk in and Clara is in the front room with a blanket over her, nursing the little one.

  “So what do I call my grandchild?” I ask. Clara and Matt had decided they wanted the sex to be a surprise so this will be yet another reveal for me.

  “Gregory Malik Curry,” said Clara. She put herself away under the blanket, and then pulled it back slowly revealing their little boy sleeping in her arms. He had a head full of hair for a newborn, probably from our side as Matt was born with a headful too.

  “What color are his eyes?” I ask as he’s sleeping.

  “Brown,” Matt tells me proudly.

  Matt brings me to their kitchen and begins to show me the video of the birth.

  “Uh, that’s okay I’m good,” I tell him covering up his phone. Matt certainly was eager to share everything about their bundle of joy with me.

  I let him go over all the hospital papers and footprints they got on the birth certificate, the legal one would come in the mail later that month.

  “How did you come up with the name?” I ask him.

  “Oh, it means watchful king,” he tells me. Of course, the little prince will grow up to be a king.

  I was just glad everything went well with the labor and delivery and there were no complications. I couldn’t imagine what Matt would go through if he lost either one of them, that pain. Snapping out of it I go back to Matt’s talking. He weighed seven pound nine ounces and came out screaming and pissed off at the world for taking him out of the womb and into the cold bright lights of the delivery room.