Don't Look Behind You (Don't Look Series Book 1)

by Emily Kazmierski

  “You okay?” I whisper.

  He’s staring at our teacher, eyes narrowed.

  “Years ago, when my brother… died. The security video from the gas station was really grainy, but… Would it be crazy if I told you it looked like the Mayday Killer?” When his eyes meet mine, so full of the extreme sadness I can only imagine is the result of years of open-ended wondering, it takes my breath away.

  My hands are tied, so the only thing I can do to comfort him is lean over enough to press my forehead into his shoulder.

  “I’m so sorry, Noah. I wish I could get you out of this.”

  Noah’s breath hitches, making me whip around.

  The killer has emerged from one of the bedrooms wearing an old, ill-fitting tux. Its ruffled shirt looks like it was plucked right out of the 1970s. Or a Dumb and Dumber movie. He makes the final adjustments to his bow tie in a scratched mirror that hangs over the dust-coated fireplace.

  Noah’s eyes dart from him to me. “What is happening?”

  My mouth goes dry when Audrey exits the bathroom wearing a yellowed, floral wedding dress and veil. The gown is loose along the neckline and at the hips; it was obviously made for a taller, curvier woman.

  Slowly, she steps up beside our parents’ murderer and gives him a tentative smile.

  The hungry flash of his teeth makes bile rise in my throat. I fight to push it back down, but it explodes out of me in sharp, livid words that fill the room with a prickling heat.

  “This was your plan all along? To murder our parents and marry this… this monster? How could you do something so evil?”

  Audrey turns a hard look on me. Her silence is telling. Any doubt I had about her involvement slips away.

  “Why do you think she dallied after school that day? She was giving me time to take care of your parents. Too bad I messed up with you, though.” Yellowed teeth part in a wicked smile as the man’s eyes rover over the white scar on my cheek.

  I jerk at my arms, wishing I could cover it. He doesn’t deserve to see it, especially if he’s getting some sort of sick pleasure out of seeing his handiwork written across my face.

  “You’re lying,” Noah yells. “Meg—she would never do something like that.”

  I envy Noah’s faith in my sister.

  The Mayday Killer cocks a bushy eyebrow. “Wanna tell him, pet?”

  Under the lacy veil, Audrey pales.

  “Meg—Audrey, please.” Noah’s voice cracks but he doesn’t drop his gaze from hers.

  “What he says is true. I told him I was planning to talk to my teacher, show him the camera. He took care of the rest.”

  “Call me Eugene,” the killer says, making final adjustments to his suit jacket. “No need for manners now that we’re getting hitched. I know it won’t be official until you turn eighteen, but I can’t wait any longer to take you as mine. You ready, Mr. Officiant?” The man’s greasy hair shines as looks to his brother, who nods.

  My entire body starts to quake. I can’t control it no matter how much I wish it would stop. My heart pounds in my chest. Chills run down my spine.

  Noah leans over, resting his head on top of mine. “Just breathe,” he whispers. “It’ll be over soon.”

  Can’t he tell that’s the reason dread is filling my abdomen like a bunch of lead weights, dragging me down below the surface of control into a whirling ocean of fear and chaos? What will the Baugh brothers do to us once this sham of a wedding ceremony is over? What will Audrey permit them to do?

  The two of us watch in horror as Mr. Baugh begins to recite the familiar words I’ve heard a bunch of times in movies and TV shows. He has Eugene recite his vows first. Words like honor, respect, and provide have no meaning as they bounce off my shaking body and pop like poison bubbles in the air.

  Audrey gets through her vows—with emphasis on obedience and subjugation—with no more than the slightest tremor of her lips.

  Behind his glasses, Noah’s got his eyes clamped shut, but I can’t look away from this horror show.

  Mr. Baugh is wrapping up the ceremony. It’s going too fast. Any second I’m expecting a wicked magician to appear and tell us that he hypnotized my sister, but it doesn’t happen. My trepidation grows as each word draws my twin into an unholy alliance with a psychotic killer. Each word forces Noah and I closer to a gruesome, bloody death. Because I have no doubt that once he gets what he wants, the Mayday Killer will slit our throats and bathe his hideous suit in our blood.

  “I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss your bride.”

  Noah buries his face in my neck, but I still don’t look away.

  Mr. Baugh has the courtesy to avert his eyes as his gross brother grips Audrey’s upper arms in his grubby hands and yanks her into him. Audrey squeals in disgust when his lips meet hers.

  When he finally lets her go, Audrey shrinks back against the wall.

  “Ready for your wedding present?” the man asks gleefully as he withdraws a huge knife from his boot. “I’m going to take care of your lesser half for you. Just like you asked me to. I tried to get rid of her by setting fire to that corn field, but it didn’t go like I planned. I won’t make that mistake again.” He lunges for me so quickly I don’t have time to panic.

  His body bucks and crumbles to the floor, almost before the gunshot has stopped echoing through my ears. Blood oozes out of a hole in his forehead as his limbs jerk. And stop.

  The back door crashes open and a pack of FBI agents in bullet-proof vests come storming into the room, weapons raised. One pins Mr. Baugh to the wall while Justin leads several others down the hall to sweep the rest of the house.

  Audrey is frozen, the hem of her dress beginning to soak up the crimson stain seeping from underneath the killer’s lifeless body. Tears stream down her cheeks.

  Noah gapes as Aunt Karen steps into the room between the busted door and frame, looking fierce in her government-issued gear and holding a gun like it’s an extension of her arm. She rushes over with eyes blazing, giving Noah a once over to make sure he’s okay before drawing me into her chest and beckoning to Audrey to join. When she does, the older woman pulls both of us into her chest. Holds on tight. “I’m so glad you girls are okay,” she swears. “I got here as quickly as I could.”

  “Took you long enough,” Audrey manages through a sob.

  Chapter 39

  Audrey

  Esau is sitting in an ambulance while an EMT looks at his arm. Taryn is trying to talk to him, but from where I’m standing on the front porch it looks like he’s refusing to even look at her. She puts a hand on the shoulder of his uninjured arm, but he shrugs her off and shows her his back. Her shoulders slump as she takes a few steps away, trailed by an FBI agent I don’t recognize. My sister glances at me before turning away, pulling the borrowed coat she’s wearing tighter around her shoulders.

  Four deputy’s vehicles, a fire truck, and the sheriff’s Bronco are parked on the gravel drive and the overgrown front lawn. I saw one officer come out of the house a few minutes ago with evidence bags full of various stuff I didn’t care to examine too closely. I never want to see the knife that severed my parents from me ever again.

  Aunt Karen, or Agent Biel, I should say, is standing a few feet away having a chat with her boss on her cell phone. Her eyes catch mine in a way that I recognize. Are you okay?

  I shrug. I have no idea if I’m okay, or if I ever will be. My eyes land on my sister again. We have so much to talk about, and suddenly I can’t wait another minute. I run over to where she’s sitting on the trunk of one of the deputy’s cars, but stop a couple steps away.

  We stare at each other, and I’m not sure we’ll ever be able to bridge the gap that has yawned wide between us in the past almost six months. It’s partly my fault, yes, but it’s hers too. Instead of coming clean about my discovery that I’d been chatting with the Gemini Killer online for months, I kept that from her. Instead of forgiving me for being naïve, she shut me out of her heart and bolted the door.

  Ex
haling to alleviate the nervous energy coursing through my arms and legs, I haul myself up beside her on the cool metal. We sit side by side in silence for a beat, watching the frenzy of movement in and out of the house.

  The ambulance carrying Esau pulls away, and Taryn frowns as her eyes follow its progress up the street.

  “What’s going on between you two?” I ask.

  She shrugs. “Nothing. He wouldn’t listen to me.”

  “Now you know how it feels.” The words come out sharper than I intend, but as I open my mouth to apologize, I stop. If Taryn and I have even a shot at getting past this and being sisters again, I’m going to have to start being more honest with her about how I’m feeling. Especially when it’s one of the uglier emotions. So instead of apologizing, I brace myself for a fight. Fighting will be infinitely better than pretending the other doesn’t exist.

  When Taryn’s eyes meet mine, they’re not full of anger but… remorse. I suck in a breath.

  “It wasn’t your fault,” she whispers. “You had no idea there was a psycho killer who was obsessed with you and following you. You had no idea he was catfishing you over social media and twisting everything you said to suit what he wanted. I mean, come on, any guy would have to be truly twisted to think you’d want to marry him in that truly criminal wedding dress.”

  She cracks a hint of a smile, but I shake my head.

  “It’s not funny. If I hadn’t made you hang back after school while I talked to my teacher—”

  “He would have killed me and taken you, Audrey. You wouldn’t have been able to stop him.”

  “I could have tried.” My eyes start to well.

  Taryn shakes her head. “I blamed you because it was easier than admitting the truth: that our parents died in a senseless and cruel attack, for no reason other than someone chose to do evil. It was easier blaming you because at least then I had someone to be mad at. I’m so sorry.” The overlarge coat she’s wearing falls off her shoulders as she flings her arms around my neck and clings to me. “I missed you so much. Nothing is the same without you. I just want to be sisters again, okay?”

  I cry into her hair, hugging her back fiercely.

  “What were you thinking, pretending you wanted to marry him? That was the grossest, freakiest thing I’ve ever seen!” She yells, shoving at my shoulders. “Are you insane?”

  “I thought if I played along he’d let you go. I realize how stupid that sounds now that I say it out loud.”

  “You think?” Taryn wraps her arm around my shoulders and rests her head against mine. “No more pretending, okay? From now on we’re Audrey and Taryn, no matter what.”

  “Deal.”

  Agent Biel hangs up her phone call and marches over, examining us with a wary expression. “You two girls okay?”

  We both nod, still huddled together.

  “That was my boss. He’s sorry the Gemini Killer won’t face justice in court, but he thinks we’ll have enough evidence to put a case together against his brother. Do you girls think you’ll be up to testifying when the time comes?”

  We nod again.

  “Good. Let’s get you home. It’s freezing out here.”

  Taryn and I slide down off the car, and my sister points before tucking the borrowed jacket around her thin frame. “There’s someone Audrey needs to talk to first.”

  I follow her direction and spot Noah standing nearby, hands shoved in his pockets, studying me like I’m a puzzle he can’t quite work out.

  “Gimme a minute?”

  Agent Biel nods, gesturing with her chin for me to go over to him.

  “Hey,” I say when I get close enough. It’s awkward. I’ve spent hours and hours with Noah studying or hanging out, but now that he knows who I am, I don’t know where to start.

  “Hey,” he answers, staring at my shoes behind his glasses.

  “So…”

  “You lied to me.”

  My mouth drops open, but I quickly close it again. It’s true. I did lie to Noah. I had reasons, but still. “I did, and I’m sorry.”

  “You’re both Megan.”

  “I was her on Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays, and Sundays. Taryn did Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays. She was self-conscious about her scar, so I took more days. And I used special effects makeup to create a matching scar on my cheek.”

  “That’s why you’ve been so hot and cold all semester. Why some days it feels like you’re barely tolerating me while other days... “ Noah speaks as if he has to get the words out while he has the chance. His cheeks flush in embarrassment, and he still won’t look directly at me.

  “Taryn didn’t just tolerate you. She thinks of you as a friend.”

  Noah shakes his head. Glances between my mirror image and me as if he’s still in disbelief that the girl he knows as Megan is actually two separate souls. “I didn’t. You meant more to me.”

  I don’t miss the past tense in what he says. I meant more. As if I don’t mean anything to him now. My heart, which had just begun to draw its jagged pieces into something resembling one piece, splinters into impossibly tinier bits.

  “Noah, please…”

  The crunch of tires over gravel grabs our attention, and the four of us turn to see the sheriff’s car making a three-point turn on the driveway. The engine cuts off and the man swings out the driver door, thumbs in his belt as he saunters closer.

  Agent Biel stops him with a hand.

  “I’ll have to talk to them sometime, Ma’am,” he drawls, cutting a glance through Noah and me and settling on Taryn. “Guess I can give you a little more time.”

  “Thank you,” Agent Biel says.

  “He knew too?” Noah asks, incredulous. Rakes a hand through his curls. “I’m such an idiot.”

  The sheriff lolls his head lazily to one side. “You think the FBI would hide their only witnesses in their case against the most violent serial killer this state has seen in a decade in my town without so much as a courtesy call? Please, boy.”

  Noah starts to fold in on himself.

  “Noah, please let me explain.” My mouth dries up when he finally meets my eyes.

  “How can I believe anything that comes out of your mouth? I didn’t even know your real name.”

  My own face begins to scrunch, but I bite my tongue to ward off the urge to cry. Forthcoming honesty, always. From now on.

  “The FBI swore us to secrecy,” Taryn says, but stops herself. Gestures toward me. “Go ahead.”

  Taryn takes my hand with a gentle squeeze, letting me know she’s with me before letting go. I compose myself, stronger with my twin backing me up.

  “We were supposed to be in hiding until they caught the psycho. I’m so sorry. If you give me a chance, I’ll tell you everything. Whatever you want to know. Just please don’t shut me out.”

  Noah turns on me with a fiery expression. “I told you all about my brother. About why I got into true crime. I showed you all of the research I’ve done on his murder. The security footage. The crime scene photos. All of it. The least you could do was be honest with me. Your twin is alive. You were in communication with the Mayday Killer. I don’t—how am I supposed to take all this?”

  With trembling fingers I take the smudged paper out of my pocket. I’ve gotten into the habit of carrying it around as a reminder of what I’m fighting for. The reason I lied to everyone around me. To save her.

  Noah’s eyes widen as he takes the proffered sheet and looks at the name printed there.

  Audrey Thomas

  He stares and stares. Runs a finger over the footer that identifies it as the final page in the list of survivor’s names that he found on that true crime forum weeks ago. “This is, you took this from me?”

  “Yes,” I whisper. “I wanted to tell you, but—”

  His shoulders slump. “Stop. Just, stop. I don’t know you at all.”

  “Noah, please listen. You know me. This is me. Audrey.” My voice breaks on the name I haven’t voiced in nearly six months.

 
; But Noah’s already stepping away, widening the space between us. Taking his glasses off, he swipes at his eyes. Replaces the frames. “I can’t. I just… I need some time. Oh, your sister dropped this.” He hands me a silver bracelet before he goes.

  Sheriff Lamb’s mouth twists in an expression that I would almost label sympathy, if I didn’t know any better.

  “Come on,” the older man says to Noah, taking him under his wing. “I’ll take you home.”

  With a final heartbreaking look in my direction, Noah follows the sheriff over to his Bronco. The car’s engine roars to life, and then they’re gone.

  Chapter 40

  Day 174, Saturday

  Taryn

  Audrey and I agreed to stay away from the drama room for a few days to give Esau time to breathe. Truthfully, she convinced me that it wasn’t always the best course of action to go into a complex situation with guns blazing. It’s been weird seeing her speak up about her thoughts and preferences over the past couple of weeks since the FBI’s showdown with the Gemini Killer. Not bad, only different from before. I never realized how much she was stifling herself when we were two. Seeing her now as she speaks up in class and with our new friends, I can’t help but smile.

  Fiona, Marisa, and Viv were understandably shocked when Audrey and I showed up to school on the same day. They asked us tons of questions and we answered as many as we legally could, seeing as we’re still witnesses in the state’s case against our former teacher, Mr. Baugh. The rest of our teachers were pretty cool with the switcheroo since they’d been notified by the principal about what was happening.

  Esau and Noah, though?

  Noah is polite in class, but other than that he doesn’t speak to either me or my sister. It’s hard watching Audrey’s heart get crushed a little more in art every day, but she insists I should stay out of it. I’m trying to let her fight her own battles, so other than sitting at the same table as them since we’re technically a threesome for our project now, I have.

  Since neither Audrey nor I have been to drama club in the last fifteen days, I have no idea how Esau’s doing, other than to say that when I see him in the halls, he looks tired and strained. Yesterday his bun was haphazard at best. He wasn’t at school at all today. I have no idea if it’s because he simply didn’t want to be there, or if there was some work at the farm that needed doing.