Navigating the Out-of-Body Experience

by Graham Nicholls

  [contents]

  9

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  leaving the body: what can

  you expect?

  I have described some experiences I’ve had when my consciousness, or self, was beyond my body, but what can you expect to experience when leaving your body? To answer that question, let’s look at what we know of the nature of the experience itself rather than drawing upon myths, traditions, or superstitions.

  Whether or not the mind is local to the brain, as discussed in Chapter 2 and Chapter 8 the OBE undoubtedly owes much of its nature and characteristics to our emotions, memories, and senses—essentially the elements that make up our personal interpretation of the world around us. When we have an OBE, these key elements of ourselves appear to be projected to a distant location, in some form. How we then interact with that location is dependent upon these elements, by which I mean the particular set of emotions and awareness that makes up our individual personality or consciousness.

  It seems highly likely to me that the subtle differences in OBEs from one person to the next are dependent upon the way in which our particular personality interprets the world. In everyday situations, such as going to work or spending time with family, the impact of our consciousness is less obvious, but in an OBE, the way that our consciousness is focused and balanced defines how we experience every detail. There is, of course, common ground; virtually all of us have emotional bonds, loving relationships, and people with whom we feel deeply linked. This shared human experience forms the most powerful psychic links and has been shown time and time again to be an important factor in psychic experiences. For example, there are many documented accounts of someone suddenly becoming aware of a loved one in danger, sometimes even before the event has taken place. These experiences are so common that nearly everyone has heard at least one example. In psi research, too, people with a strong emotional link have shown that they can successfully connect with each other’s thoughts or impressions, and they can do so far easier than strangers or those who know each other only in passing.

  In my early OBEs, I would virtually always find myself in my bedroom, just a couple of meters from my body. In my present-day experiences, however, I generally find myself at a location many miles from my home. I believe this is due to the change in my understanding of the experience and also how I emotionally relate to the world. In other words, the framework of my emotional make-up and my consciousness has changed over time and thus my experiences have also changed. In my teenage years, my perception of the world was very much supported by my family life. I have always been very close to my mother and father and even had a strong bond to the flat in which I grew up. It is no surprise, then, that this same psychological framework defined where I would find myself once out of my body. The colours and feelings associated with my earliest experiences also seemed to be an extension of my limitations and unconscious fears and beliefs. These subjective factors to the out-of-body experience can also be seen in the near-death experience.

  But are there elements of an OBE that are consistent for all people? The answer is that there are elements that are experienced by most people. For example, vibrations shortly before exiting the body are a very common occurrence; however, these vibrations are not always described in detail, so it can be hard to ascertain just how consistent the sensation actually is. In my own experience, the sensation is closer to a wave flowing through my body, often accompanied by a feeling of starting to be separate from my body. I am still aware of my body at this point, but I start to sense that my perception is becoming less “localized.” This wavelike feeling builds to a point at which I sense I am almost physically somewhere else. I then begin to see my environment; this sometimes requires me merely to open my eyes.

  The Vibrational State

  In Robert A. Monroe’s book Journeys Out of the Body, we find that his first description of the vibrational state sounds quite distinct from the one that I have just given. He relates how a beam of light appeared in the sky above him: “I thought it was sunlight at first, although this was impossible on the north side of the house. The effect when the beam struck my entire body was to cause it to shake violently or ‘vibrate.’ ”1 In his technique for leaving the body, he also describes the vibrational state as almost violent in nature. For me and many others, this is not the case, so while this sense of vibrating energy is common, the form it takes is different for different people.

  I have found that those who work with the emotional factors of their psyche before the vibrational state arises will more often than not experience a more peaceful form of this energy. It seems that those who are more materially focused in their lives, such as those with a high-powered job or those involved in the sciences, can experience a more intense form of energy. I must emphasize that this is not a negative thing; it is simply that this type of lifestyle may be more stressful and therefore requires more engagement with the process of relaxation. In the same sense, those with highly analytical mindsets may require a greater engagement with the subtleties of the vibrational state. Overall, lifestyle and emotional make-up impact many elements of the out-of-body state.

  The process of actually leaving the body is also highly influenced by one’s emotional state and level of relaxation. Once the vibrational state reaches a peak, a sense of separation usually follows. This can sometimes take the form of a very physical exit, where the experience while out of the body is much like normal physical reality; in other experiences, there can be a total absence of physical elements.

  My first encounter with the vibrational state was probably the almost-violent jolt I experienced the first time I induced an OBE. Although I didn’t view it as such at the time, it had many of the characteristics of the vibrational state, but compacted into a single burst of energy that resulted in me floating a few feet above my body. Over the months that followed, I began to sense a calmer, more fluid kind of vibration, one that felt as if I was being gently lifted up on the crest of an invisible wave. This process would culminate with me shifting, or as some put it, “phasing” to another place. I would usually only start to see after I had already left my body. I didn’t see myself lifting free and still don’t. I might see colour or feel a sensation of shedding my body, much like slipping off a heavy coat. To this day, this is accompanied by a sense of release, a very pleasant feeling of being energised and being free of any stress or tension present in my physical body.

  Once out, I could open what felt like my eyes, although I never sensed physical eyelids; it was more like using the same process or mental signal to look, and I would feel my eyes focus in some form and images appear. I would then see my surroundings in many different ways, from forms of energy and light to physical structures with the same colour and layout as normal everyday reality.

  Encounters Beyond the Body

  Many people ask me if I encounter other beings while outside of my body; the answer is yes. Sometimes I encounter others who also seem to be having out-of-body experiences. At other times, I come into contact with people who appear to have physically died, and at still other times, I encounter beings who appear to be from another plane of reality altogether.

  When I have seen others who are also having OBEs, our ability to communicate depends on the degree to which our awareness is in sync. This communication is more of a telepathic link and sometimes is based more on feelings and visuals than on the conventional idea of communicating through language. For this reason, what language you speak is unimportant. You experience the inner motivations and needs of the person, not the sounds that they make. I don’t know to what degree this is an objective form of communication, but it does seem that at least the sense of what is felt is transferred to the other person. All in all, I think it is easier to transfer emotions or a sense of deep connection rather than literal words. This seems in line with the kinds of connections seen in telepathy tests in the laboratory. The depth of the relationship you have with
the person you encounter is key. I have, of course, met strangers in these OBEs, but so far I have not been able to verify these by meeting the person in physical reality. I am interested in whether this could be done, because if so, it would really offer another powerful piece of objective evidence for OBEs.

  People’s appearance within an OBE does not seem to coincide with their normal everyday appearance. It is usually more of an energetic form, much like the idea of the aura. Rich colours flow through their humanoid form, and often their features are obscured. I believe this may have to do with the level of consciousness needed to sync with another person energetically—in other words, when you are attuned to the person as an energetic form, you see or sense their framework of awareness rather than everyday impressions of the person. However, this does not seem to be the case with people who have physically died. In this case, the person will often appear, at least to you, as they did while they were physically alive, right down to the clothes they are wearing. Why this might be is a mystery; we can only surmise that it could have something to do with what we want or expect to see.

  Sex and OBEs

  Several books on the subject of astral projection contain long discussions of the possibility of “astral sex.” Three types of sexual union have been referred to over the years. The first and most arcane form is called congressus subtilis. This form derives from the occult writings of authors such as Aleister Crowley and describes the subtle, or second, body drawing substance from another person’s physical body whilst experiencing some form of sex. Crowley describes this as having much in common with descriptions of incubi and succubi, or sexual demons, believed by some to prey on individuals in order to steal their vital energy.

  However, the stories of sexual demons visiting people during the night sound virtually identical to descriptions of sleep paralysis. They usually entail the person involved being unable to move, while a figure, creature, old woman, or man climbs onto their chest. So clear is the link between sleep paralysis and the incubus/succubus stories that much of the literature on sleep paralysis refers to them at some point.

  Creating a connection with the physical body of a person remains highly unlikely, in my opinion, despite Crowley’s statements that “The one really easy ‘physical’ operation which the Body of Light can perform is ‘congressus subtilis.’ ”2 However, he does not give an example of his experiments in this area, and I must say that I remain unconvinced. Having said that, I have experienced a form of “presence,” which I was able to verify with a sexual partner the next day. The two most powerful examples of this involved sensing an energy body in the bed with me for the entire night while no one was actually present. This was not merely a vague mental impression; it was the sense of an energetic form being present, to the point that I would turn on the light and try to see what was there. When I spoke to my partner the next day, she immediately mentioned her awareness of us being together the

  entire night despite being miles apart. This is an experience that many people report, which seems to suggest a kind of telepathic link was taking place. I wonder whether this could be built to such a point that a sexual connection could be made.

  The second form of sex in the context of OBEs is when the subtle bodies of two people are drawn together sexually and they have intercourse in much the same way as it would be done on the physical level. Based on reports from people I have worked with over the years, it seems that this experience tends to take place in a more unconscious state, when those involved are operating on a more instinctual level. The experience includes the vividness of the OBE state and the recall of both people involved, but it does not include the full and conscious power of the third form of OBE sex.

  The third form is often referred to as melding, because the experience has less to do with the usual sexual acts and more to do with an energetic exchange of essence and awareness. Melding is a truly profound experience and often leaves a deep telepathic and spiritual connection between people who experience it. Some readers may recognize this description from Tantra and sacred sexual practices. In this sense, melding takes place whenever there is a deep energetic and spiritual connection between people; it does not necessarily require leaving the body. Yet the experience reaches its fullest potential when it is done in this way. The mind feels like it is opening and one’s awareness shifts to the other’s perspective. Some people see themselves from the perspective of their lover; others reach an emotional link that reveals deep truths about their partner. “Sex” is a limiting term when applied to this kind of transformative interaction. It is, in fact, an opening of your identity, consciousness, and, in some cases, memories and deeply held unconscious aspects of yourself.

  Sex beyond the body is best achieved with someone with whom you have a strong energetic bond. This is often easier to achieve when a relationship is fairly young and there is still a sense of what some refer to as “new relationship energy.” This energy can draw both partners’ consciousness or subtle bodies together, especially when you are physically separated. When trying to achieve this experience, I suggest spending some time together and learning some techniques from Western Tantra or sacred sexual practices, especially maintaining stimulation while holding off from the point of orgasm and focusing on the particular energy of your partner. Try to get in sync with their breathing, their movements, and even the subtle cues in their face. This can be a profound experience in itself. Slowing everything down to the point that you are barely moving will tune you to the other person in ways that you may not be aware of ordinarily. Gender and sexuality make no difference to this process; it is about engagement.

  I advise going through this process for a week without reaching orgasm and then spend a few nights apart. On the first day, while you are alone, go through the same process without your partner; at the same time, he or she should do the same. Visualize them; try to experience everything they are experiencing until you feel an intense energy, almost like a tangible heat. Try to build this to the point that you experience a kind of sexual vibrational state. Once the sexual vibrational state is achieved, you will be able to leave your body and, if the connection was made with enough emotional investment, you should be drawn instantly to your partner. Once with him or her, you will likely be drawn into each other, filling each other and exchanging your full emotional depths.

  A sexual connection in the form described above is another example of how out-of-body experiences can open us to a deeply transformative and spiritual realm in surprising and often unimagined ways. I feel that the potential for human interaction on this level has not been fully explored. This is partly due to the fact that achieving the necessary state is complex and requires a peak of emotional energy. It may also be due to the fact that other, more expansive levels of consciousness, such as contact with those who appear to have passed on, will sometimes present themselves. For most of us, this offers an amazing opportunity to explore the question of life after physical death.

  Messages from the dead

  Meetings with those who have physically died are often coloured by emotional confusion, as those who appear to have passed on are often confused, or in a slightly dreamlike state. There are many descriptions of this in literature on the afterlife and my own experiences seem to support this idea. We can never be totally sure, since these experiences are so subjective, yet extremely interesting “coincidences” have offered at least some degree of evidence that these experiences are valid and real. In one instance, I came upon a large group who seemed to have been killed in a plane crash, and a few hours after, I saw footage on the news of a similar accident. I didn’t see any details in the experience to really make this connection concrete, but it suggests that there are ways to acquire some evidence, if only for your own benefit.

  Early in my experiences, I seemed to connect more with those who were lingering on the physical plane in some form. Those writing about the more esoteric side of the OBE would claim that
this is because at that time, when I was less developed, I was operating on a level similar to the one that spirits or ghosts inhabit. Whether or not this is the case I do not know, but I was able to communicate with individuals in the out-of-body state who gave particular details of their lives. In a few cases, I was able to find a record of a name matching the one I had heard in the OBE. There is always the possibility that I could have unconsciously picked up this information from another source, so I remain unsure of the exact nature of these early experiences. I was also very young at the time, and it is hard to say whether or not naivety could have played a role.

  More compelling information has come in the form of images and experiences that seem similar to how some mediums describe the way they receive information. For example, two years ago I found myself out of my body and moving along the coastline of Cuba. I was at least 150 meters above the ground and able to see the whole layout of the surrounding areas as I moved. It was a beautiful and awe-inspiring sight. I felt so free and at peace as I drifted along, looking down at the rich colours and tropical waters. I remember small fisheries and the sense of people going about their lives. It was an almost utopian vision, and somehow that is what I think this experience represented. Shortly after the experience ended, I opened my diary to record the details and saw an entry about the death of a close family friend on the previous page. I had forgotten about writing this and during the experience I had not made the link to recent events. It dawned on me that the woman the entry was about was born in Cuba. She had been like family to me and had looked after me as a child when my mother was working. I now view this experience as a kind of message, reminding me that she is safe and at peace.