by Iris Taylor
But what made me happiest was when Mom and Marcus came back from their trip, looking refreshed and happy. Mom's cheeks were fuller, the shadows under her eyes gone, and we had resumed our weekly dessert outings. I decided I needed to fit in exercise somehow, given how well-fed I was now, and decided running was an easy enough way to burn those calories. Which was how I found myself face-to-face with Cole, my breaths coming in labored pants, both due to being out of shape and the bite in the chilly air.
He watched me with his eyebrows raised, and uncapped a bottle of water. I watched as the water dribbled down his chin, and he tugged his shirt to wipe it off, revealing those amazing abs. My eyes snapped back to his face when I heard him chuckle. I shrugged, pretending not to be embarrassed to be caught ogling him, and took a swig from my own bottle. "Where do you usually run?" I asked.
He pointed towards the gates. "Out there. There's a small stream nearby that I like to go to."
"Oh?" I couldn't imagine running the ten minutes it would take me to reach the front gates and only then properly begin my run. "Maybe next time."
He smiled shrewdly. I wanted to swat him except it would only confirm to him that I was worried about being too unfit to get to the stream he was talking about. "Sure. Just say when."
***
I wandered around the house again that night, trying to make myself more at home in the vast space. This time, the movie room was unlocked, and I slipped in. It was a large room, comfortably seating fifty people, with rows of cinema-like seats making up most of the space. In front was a large screen where movies could be projected onto. It never failed to amaze me what money could buy. How often did they use the place, anyway?
I wondered if it was worth it to try and set up something to watch. Not that I knew where the switchboard or whatever was. But it would have been nice to be able to watch something in the privacy of your own cinema.
"Wanna watch a movie?"
I whipped around, to find Cole there, standing in cutoff shorts and a tank top that showed off his broad shoulders and muscular arms. Swallowing, I nodded, and promptly sat myself down on the nearest seat, unsure if my voice would hold steady. The lights dimmed, and he walked to the equipment at the back and tinkered around with it. "Do you have anything in mind?" In the end, we decided on Black Widow together, which Cole told me he hadn't watched but heard good reviews about. It was a good thing the movie held my interest, because there was no way I could ignore the male sitting next to me, his long, tone body stretched out and relaxed. About halfway, he asked if it was okay to pause. We both walked up to the kitchen and returned with arms loaded with popcorn, sandwiches and drinks. After the movie ended, I could feel my eyes begin to feel heavy, tummy full and heart content.
"If I didn't know better, I'd say that movie bored you," he murmured. I opened my eyes and found him looking at me with a small smile. "Actually, it was pretty good. But the setup - ohh - I think I can stay in here all night." It didn't help that the seats were the kind you sank into, and the dim lights and air-conditioning just made everything so cozy.
"Do you want to watch another one?" he asked, eyebrow raised, as if challenging me.
"I get to pick!" I settled on Sing, because it was such a feel-good cartoon that never failed to make me smile. Unfortunately, Cole didn't seem to be interested in it, tinkering around on his phone instead. After a while, he held it up, and it took me a while to realize he was taking a picture of me. "What are you doing?" I asked, as I held my hand up to shield my face.
"Don't worry, it's blurry." He turned his phone to show me. It was a picture of my hair as I sat back on my seat, a short golden wave, and only a small part of my face showed. To someone else's eyes, it could be anyone. I guess I didn't care that he took it - there were no distinguishing features in it anyway.
His citrus-and-mint scent distracted me enough that I decided to cut the movie short.
"You sure?" he asked.
I nodded. "I've watched this at least three times."
His mouth quirked upwards. "Well, you should've told me. I would've asked you to sing."
Deciding to take him up on his joke, I began to sing Don’t You Worry ‘Bout a Thing in a clear voice. I sang well, having won contests back home. I hadn't sung like that in a while, joyful and free, and I watched as his features turned from amusement to appreciation. When I had finished hitting the high notes, my eyes closed, I ended the song with a low, smooth voice, feeling the music in my veins.
Only for him to pick up the words again and belt them out with a rich, honey-like voice. The lyrics - he not only knew the lyrics, but sang as if he wrote them, molded the words around the peaks and valleys that was his voice. When he stopped, it was all I could do to stop my mouth from hanging open.
"You...sing," I commented stupidly.
"You're not so bad yourself." He seemed a little embarrassed, despite the performance he had given to impress me.
You are full of surprises, Cole Isaac.
I felt my heart thrum a little unsteadily when he leaned in close and said in a low voice, "Sometimes, when things aren't going the way they should, I come down here...and play my guitar, write some songs. The room is soundproof, and no one comes down here anyway."
"To be away from everyone?"
"Even Hans." He looked down at his hands. "Being surrounded by people most of the time means there's very little space for your own thoughts. Here, I can finally think...give life to those...thoughts and sentiments that hadn't had time to form."
I couldn’t stop myself from asking. “Does Hans sing, too?”
He shook his head. “Not that I know of. Other than the outside, we really are very different people.” He stopped at that, and even though I wanted to push, I let him be, sensing it wasn’t something he wanted to talk about.
We were silent for a while. I wondered whether this side of him I was seeing was the real him, or whether it was simply a side of him that he rarely showed. Perhaps the hot, popular guy with the swagger was also the real him. Or was it all for show?
That night, after we went our separate ways, I lay in bed, turning over the question as it came back to me again. Was Cole a guy of many layers, or was he all of them? Somehow, I couldn't associate the grim, beautifully cruel guy who had pushed me to the ground when I had taken his car with the one who sang to me today in that beautiful, rich voice. Today Cole had laughed with me, let his guard down and told me more about himself. I wondered about his change of heart – at what point in time he had stopped seeing me as someone to torment and torture and instead, became someone he allowed in, to see the cracks in his shield. And what I saw inside wasn't bad at all. Not the conceited, hot-headed person I had come to expect, but one who enjoyed his solitude, with a quirky sense of humor peeking through. Someone who...cared. Perhaps too much.
I switched on my phone and quickly checked my messages. Nothing that needed my attention. Opening my Instagram account, I saw Cole’s post. It was from tonight: the blurry picture of me, a golden arc surrounding the pale cream of my face. Respite. That was all the caption said. I felt my pulse quicken seeing the word, and wondered if he meant that I gave him that.
Chapter 22
Cole
I found Ella sitting by the pool late the next night, staring into the water, her bare legs swishing the aquamarine depths. She startled when she heard me approach. “Hey.”
“Hey, mermaid,” I said, letting some of my teeth show. “I’ve caught you sitting here enough times to wonder why you’re not in the pool.”
She looked at me, her forehead furrowed, before looking back at the water and replying in a quiet voice, “I’ve never learnt to swim.”
My hunch was right, but seeing how much she seemed to love the water, the longing I swore I could see in her eyes, made my chest tighten at her words. “How come?”
She shook her head. "The public pool was an hour's walk away, and my mom worked two shifts so I couldn’t get a ride with her. We...always had trouble making ends meet
. Things only got better once I was older, when my mother got a stable job with Konstan.” My father’s rivals.
She glanced up at me, as if challenging me to say something nasty about her background. And I realized with a start that she was right. If I had been with my friends, the words would have slipped easily, without a second thought about whether they hurt her or not. Had it always been that way?
“I’ll teach you.”
She didn’t turn around. I wasn’t sure she heard me, so I repeated, “I can teach you. If you want, that is.”
This time, she nodded. “Okay.” She looked at the water again, and as if it strengthened her resolve, she turned and gave me a small smile. “Okay.”
***
My heart leaped the moment I caught sight of Ella in her one-piece. We had finally agreed on a time for her first lesson, which I suspected she had been delaying. It might have helped that I had re-emphasized what an essential skill swimming was, and that a genius like her - she had gotten straight As for our recent exams, even for Mrs. Connor's history paper, infamous for being cutthroat with her grading - would master it in no time.
She looked at me shyly, wrapping her towel around her small waist, barely hiding the curves there. I wondered what our parents would say if they saw me in the pool with her - and decided I didn't care.
"I made sure to turn up the heater," I murmured. "Wouldn't want you to freeze during your first lesson."
She smiled at me gratefully. I had never thought about it too hard but I realized what living here would look like through somebody else's eyes. We had been lucky, in our own way, Hans and I. We had had music, swimming, and horse riding lessons, as well as vacations away from home. I guess that the need to give back was what made me take it upon myself to teach Ella to swim. Not that seeing her in tight swimwear wasn't a perk.
Ella placed her towel onto one of the reclining chairs and hummed nervously.
"Is that Evanescence?" I asked. She nodded. "I love the lyrics." She didn't elaborate further.
"Okay. Shall we get into the pool, then?" I watched as she tentatively dipped her toes inside, and, as if deciding the water was safe, slowly lowered herself inside. She was so petite, even the shallowest part of the pool almost swallowed her.
"What are you, like, five feet?" The question popped out of me before I thought too hard.
She snarled at me, the effect like a kitten showing its claws. I stifled a laugh.
"Five foot one," she replied indignantly.
The difference of an inch didn't help her let go of the side of the pool at all. I eased myself into the water beside her and decided the best way to make her relax.
"Here," I offered her my arm. "Hold onto me, and breathe in and out and feel how buoyant you become with each breath."
She did as I asked, her other hand still gripping the edge of the pool until her knuckles were white.
It took almost an hour, but she finally relinquished her death grip on the pool edge and began to trust her body more. Afterwards, I swam a few laps as she sat on the steps, feet half-submerged in water, as she watched me scissor my way across the water.
"Who taught you to swim like that?" she asked.
"Lessons," I replied simply. She didn't need to know it had been a competitive sport for me, and that a third of the trophies in my room were from swimming. The many early hours I had spent training every single day before school, until fate decided to throw a football my way. Literally. So now I swam just for fun, and as a stress buster. Amongst the other things I did to relieve stress.
"Let's try again." We spent another half an hour getting her used to the water before calling it a day.
And that was how I soon found myself spending most of my free time - outside of football training - with Ella, the girl I had vowed to break so that she would leave Gray Lake. And soon, I found myself looking forward to the hours we spent together.
***
"Have you heard from Hans?" Ella asked one day. We were on the way to school, settled into a comfortable routine of going to and coming back from school together.
"No." I grit my teeth subconsciously, thinking about the last time I spoke to him. He had been sending me cryptic texts - whether to annoy me or as a result of all the counseling he had received there - all keeping me in the dark about how he truly was doing. I was worried about my twin, and, if I had to admit it to myself, I missed his company more than a little bit.
She quickly turned her head to look out the window. "Sorry."
"Oh - it's not you." I tightened my grip on the steering wheel, unsure what to tell her. That I hated myself for not taking care of Hans the way I should have, as the older brother? That I hadn't noticed - or hadn't thought it serious - that his tendencies were becoming more and more distasteful and depraved? Or that I hated that my dad had shipped him off somewhere, expecting someone else to do the hard work of caring for him, when it was his job, his job as a father, a role he hadn't played in years.
I remained silent instead, unable to give voice to my thoughts. We had come a long way, yes, but she was better off not knowing. I often prayed Hans would come back remorseful, but deep down, I doubted a bit of counseling would change years of damage.
Parking the car in my usual spot, I spied Monica standing near the main entrance, her gaze fixed on me, taking in who I had arrived with. Her lips flattened into a thin line but her face remained impassive, and she turned on her heel and disappeared into the halls. She hadn't spoken to me in a while, and whilst it was a welcome reprieve for me, I worried about what it meant for Ella, especially since she was noticeably hanging out with me more.
"See you here later?" Ella asked, shutting the passenger door across from me. I turned to her, watching her hair - now longer, prettier - I felt my bowels turn remembering the snip, snip of the scissors in my hand as I had massacred her hair that night - I watched as it glowed in the sunlight, her skin looking soft and pink. I wondered what it would feel like under my touch. She looked healthier than the first time I met her, and I knew without a doubt Susan's meals were working their magic on her.
“Sure. We can swing by that coffee place if you like.” She grinned then turned with a wave.
"Damn, how did I miss that?"
I turned to see Hunter look at me with a sneer, and an ugly feeling formed in the pit of my stomach. "What are you talking about?" I asked, schooling my features into a mask of indifference. Go and be a nuisance somewhere else, Hunter.
"Man, you totally just confirmed it! You like her! Damn. No wonder you don't want anyone else near her." The smile that he now sported made my skin crawl. Hunter went through girls faster than Sean and Hans combined, which was saying something.
"I don't know what you're talking about, man." I pushed past him to head towards class, wondering why he and I were friends in the first place. After a short while I realized that he was Hans' friend first - they had first met at some high school party they crashed way back when we were still in eighth grade.
"Listen. I won't touch her, if you tell me you don't want me to. But does Hans know, man?"
My head snapped towards him so quickly it hurt. "Listen, there's nothing going on between me and Ella, okay? So back off."
It was only when he flashed me that too-white smile of his that I realized he had wanted me to say that, that I had fallen into his trap. "Well, that's good to know. That makes her fair game for the rest of us, doesn't it?" I watched as he disappeared into one of the classrooms, the late bell ringing incessantly into my ear.
Chapter 23
Ella
I smiled as I caught sight of Cole waiting by the side of the Audi. "The car's got a flat," he said, kicking one of the tires. He gestured towards the Range Rover. "Hunter sent me back home to get this one."
I looked uneasily towards the car. "Hans won't mind?"
He shrugged. "What he doesn't know won't kill him." He flashed a white smile and gestured for me to enter.
The smell of leather and something else I c
ouldn't place overwhelmed me. It was foreign, and I barely suppressed a shudder. "I hope he's on the mend there," I said quietly.
Cole turned and gave me a half-smile. "Do you?"
"Yeah - yeah of course."
We drove in silence, and I watched as the line of trees slowly turned into the withered greens of the grass flanking the highway. "So, how'd your History test go?"
A wolfish grin lit up his face. "Just fine."
***
Cole
I glanced at my watch, wondering where Ella was. She hadn't texted me, and I hadn't been able to tell her I was going to be late. But it was almost twenty minutes past our usual meet up time, and she hadn't replied to my message to her earlier. I sent her another one, and when that too went unanswered, I decided to call her. Hmm. No ringtone. Phone died? It hadn't happened before, but perhaps she had forgotten to charge her phone overnight.
Sighing, I leaned back against the Audi, then turned and reached for the car door to wait inside.
"Hey man. I thought you'd left."
I turned to see Brad, one of the guys in Biology. He was a decent enough guy, although we rarely hung out together.
"No - got caught up with a few things after class."
His eyebrows knitted together. "Oh. Okay. Well, none of my business, but that girl - Ella? - already left in the Range Rover earlier. I thought it was you."
My vision turned dark before an alarm sounded in my head. Hans. I entered the car and revved the engine so quickly Brad stepped back from it. "Thanks," I said through clenched teeth, even as my heart began pounding erratically and I could hear the blood swooshing in my veins as adrenaline ran through me. Hans took Ella.
He had at least a good twenty minutes head start. I quickly called home, wanting to believe he hadn't done anything to her, wanting to believe the best of him. "Susan? Is Ella home?"
