His Last-Chance Christmas Family

by Michelle Major

  “I’m happy you’re happy,” he said, breathing in her sweetness.

  They were silent for several moments and then she said quietly, “I don’t trust happiness.”

  “Oh, honey.” He squeezed her shoulder. “Do you trust me?”

  He didn’t like how long it took her to answer. “I want to.”

  “I’m going to give you every reason to trust me. To believe your happiness is my top priority.”

  “You have,” she said, propping herself on an elbow. “You’ve been amazing, Nick. I don’t know how I’ll ever repay you for your generosity.”

  He frowned. Something about her words made it sound like she’d need to repay him because he was doing her a favor. That once this ended she could bake a cake or bring over dinner and a bottle of wine as a thank-you and they’d be done.

  Nick didn’t like that thought, but he was still afraid to push her. Afraid to reveal he might need her more than she needed him.

  “I care about you, Brynn.” He smoothed a lock of dark hair away from her face. “About Tyler and Remi, too. No repayment needed.”

  She smiled again and then yawned. “I should go back upstairs. Tyler is a sound sleeper now, but I’d hate for him to wake up and not find me across the hall.”

  It was difficult to let her go, but Nick forced himself to release her. “Close your eyes,” she told him, as she scooted to the far edge of the foam mattress.

  His brows furrowed and amusement spiked in his chest. “I’ve seen you naked,” he reminded her. “In fact, I’ve kissed about every inch of your body.”

  “It’s different.” She leveled him with a steely stare. “Eyes closed. I mean it, Nick.”

  “Fine,” he answered with an amused sigh.

  “No peeking,” she commanded, and he felt the lift of the mattress when she got up. It only took a few seconds before she gave him the go ahead to open his eyes again.

  Once again, she was bundled up in the fluffy robe. A strip of red lace peeked out from the pocket, sending his body into overdrive once again at the memory of his hands and mouth all over her body.

  “Good night, Nick,” she said, bending to kiss his cheek. “Thank you for a lovely evening.”

  He almost laughed at the simple statement. Leave it to Brynn to be unfailingly polite after raking her fingernails across his back minutes earlier.

  When he was alone again, he closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep with every hope he’d find a way to dream about the woman sleeping upstairs.

  * * *

  “She’s adorable.”

  Brynn watched as Ella Samuelson, Finn’s younger sister, lifted Remi into her arms. The woman, who was a year or so younger than Brynn, looked comfortable with the baby, which Brynn appreciated.

  “That’s the consensus.” Brynn smiled. She continued wrapping presents as they spoke. “I appreciate you agreeing to start right away. I’m sure you have a lot of catching up to do with your family now that you’re back.”

  Ella shrugged and kept her attention focused on Remi. “I need a little distraction in my life right now.” She had the same blue eyes as her brother, but her hair was several shades lighter and she had the kind of loose-limbed grace Brynn could only dream about possessing. “Starlight has changed since I left, but my feelings about the town haven’t caught up. Coming home felt like the right decision when I was sitting in a hut in a Brazilian rain forest. The reality of being here is almost as foreign as any of the places I’ve traveled to in the past few years.”

  “It must have been exciting to see so much of the world.” Brynn sighed. She’d been as far as Chicago for a high school choir trip but hadn’t traveled out of the country once in her life. When her friends had been off to college and life adventures, she’d been busy raising Tyler.

  “I loved getting to experience different cultures and meet people from all kinds of backgrounds.” Ella bit down on her lower lip. “After a while, living out of a duffel bag gets old, even with a spectacular view.”

  “Can I ask you a personal question?” Brynn paused with a roll of tape in her hand and studied the other woman.

  “Sure,” Ella agreed readily despite the hesitation in her tone. “I appreciate that we skipped over the formal interview for the nanny position but I expected you to have questions about me and my qualifications.”

  “You’re a pediatric nurse,” Brynn said with a laugh. “You’re overqualified to be a nanny. Which leads to my question. Why?” She shook her head. “I’m sure you could get hired immediately at the local hospital. Why do you want to be a nanny with your impressive résumé?”

  Ella handed Remi a plastic giraffe. The girl kicked her feet and shoved the toy into her mouth to investigate. “Because I don’t want to be impressive right now,” Ella answered. “I want to be happy.” She met Brynn’s gaze and her gaze softened. “I haven’t stayed in the same place for more than six months in the past five years. I’m not expecting my return to Starlight to be permanent. I need a break, but I also want to stay busy. Taking care of this little cutie will allow me to do both.”

  “Something happened to you,” Brynn said quietly.

  Ella’s smile was forced. “Lots of things happened to me. I’m not special, and my story isn’t unique. Maybe it’s burnout at twenty-seven, which sounds pathetic. Still, I need a break.”

  “I appreciate you taking that break with Remi. Finn and Kaitlin are so glad you’re here,” Brynn told her.

  “I never expected to see my brother settled down and ready to get married. He really loves her.”

  “She’s an amazing person. Kaitlin is devoted to both Finn and your father. She’s helped them get close again.”

  Ella made a face. “I’m still having trouble wrapping my mind around the fact that my dad and my brother are close.” She blew out a sharp laugh. “This is going to sound awful, but it feels like Finn is being disloyal. The one thing that bonded us was always mutual disdain for our father. Now I’m the one on the outside, and they’re all chummy. I can’t get over it.”

  “You’re not on the outside,” Brynn said, hearing the pain in the other woman’s voice. “It means a lot to both of them that you’re here.”

  “I’m not staying,” Ella said suddenly. “Two months at the most and then I might travel a bit on my own before the new contract with Traveling Nurses starts again. I took a six-month leave.”

  “It’s amazing that you have so many options.”

  “It’s kind of amazing that you have so many presents to wrap,” Ella replied with a laugh.

  “I want this to be Tyler’s best Christmas ever.” Brynn wrapped a swath of colorful paper around a microscope box. “I know I went overboard. I’m like most people around the holidays. I can talk a good game about the point of the season not being materialistic, but I get sucked right down the consumer rabbit hole.” She eyed the pile of gifts she’d stacked on the far end of the table. “Are you disgusted by my rampant consumerism? It probably looks like gluttony to you.”

  “It looks like you’re overcompensating for sure.”

  Brynn winced at Ella’s honesty. “Well, you aren’t wrong.”

  Ella grinned at Remi. “I remember when you got pregnant,” she said suddenly. “I was a junior, and it was all anyone could talk about.”

  “A cautionary tale,” Brynn murmured with a dry laugh. “I’m sure my story was used as an example of the importance of abstinence for parents around here for years. The best birth control money couldn’t buy.”

  “I never thought about it that way,” Ella said softly. “I thought it was amazing you kept your head held high and did what needed to get done. Back in high school, I liked to rebel for the sake of rebelling. But it was stupid. You made decisions about what was going to happen with your life, and you didn’t care what anyone else thought. You were a true maverick.”

  “I cared,”
Brynn whispered. “I just cared about my son more.”

  “Like you care about Remi.”

  “My mother is certain I’m trying to ruin her life.”

  Ella sucked in a breath. “By adopting a baby?”

  “She doesn’t think I can handle another child, and she definitely objects to the circumstances of Remi’s birth.”

  “You don’t have your mother’s support?” Ella sounded genuinely shocked.

  Brynn shook her head, trying to ignore the ache in her chest. “She’s also angry that Nick is involved and that his mom has been helping with her. We were neighbors growing up, and my mom always felt like his mom judged her for being a single parent. She hated that and didn’t want it for me. When I got pregnant, she made sure I knew getting Daniel to marry me was the highest priority.” She rolled her eyes. “That didn’t work out the way she expected and, of course, it had to be my fault. She’s never really gotten over her anger at how my life turned out, and Remi adds to it. It makes me a topic for gossips in town, and my mother hates feeling like she’s associated with gossip.”

  “Those people are jerks,” Ella said. “And stupid. Stupid jerks.”

  “I’ve gotten used to people not expecting much of me,” Brynn said with a quiet laugh.

  “No one should get used to that,” Ella countered.

  “Maybe, but it’s what I know.”

  “How did Nick get involved in this?” Ella asked, glancing around the living room. “I had such a little-sister crush on both him and Parker when I was in high school. He was hot as a five-alarm fire but kind of a selfish prick, you know?”

  Brynn grinned. “Trust me, I know. And I know all about crushing on him. He’s grown up a lot since then. I need to be approved as a foster parent, so he agreed to take in Remi so I could be close to her.”

  “You two were besties back in the day, right?”

  “Something like that.”

  “He seems different now.” Ella tapped a finger against her chin. “Not just grown up like Finn and Parker. He’s more serious. He used to crack jokes and prank people all the time. Now he’s almost subdued.”

  “His brother died in combat while Nick was away at college,” Brynn explained. “His dad had a fatal heart attack shortly after. Coming back to Starlight to help his mom changed him.”

  “I get that,” Ella murmured.

  “You were a teenager when your mom died.” Brynn turned fully to face the other woman. Ella’s rosy complexion had gone pale as if the memory still caused her physical pain. “That’s a hard age to lose a parent.”

  Ella flashed a tight smile. “Especially when the one who’s left doesn’t like you very much.”

  “Are things still rough with your dad? Is that why you’ve come home? I heard he’s starting another round of cancer treatment.”

  Remi let out a small cry, and Ella picked her up, then began to sway back and forth as she rubbed the baby’s back. She kept her head down for several long seconds, and when she finally looked up, Brynn saw tears swimming in her eyes.

  “Oh, I’m sorry.” Brynn immediately stood and reached for the baby. “I didn’t mean to upset you. We’ve been talking so freely. I’ve told you more about my emotional scars in one conversation than most of my friends know. If I crossed a line...”

  “You didn’t.” Ella swiped at her cheeks. “It’s so strange, this business of bursting into tears at the drop of a hat. I spent years working with struggling populations. I’ve held children when they’ve taken their last breath and comforted mothers who’ve lost their babies to disease and illness. I managed all of it with a professionalism that sometimes worried the people I worked with. Apparently, I was compartmentalizing my feelings. As of six months ago, all of the compartments were full. Everything that happens affects me until I feel like I’m being crushed under the emotional weight of it.”

  “Oh, Ella. I can only imagine how tough that is.”

  Ella sniffed. “I wish I could say I came back to patch things up with my dad. It would be the noble thing to do. I bet it would be how you’d handle it. Mainly, I ran away from my life with my tail between my legs. Starlight was the only place I could think of going where I might distract myself from everything I can’t stop feeling. But I’ve been here three days and I’ve barely spoken to my dad. I’m staying in his guesthouse and I’m still so damn angry at how he treated Finn and me after my mom died that I don’t know what to say.”

  “That’s understandable,” Brynn said, even though she didn’t understand it. She couldn’t imagine having that sort of anger at anyone. Maybe it’s why she’d been such a pushover in her marriage.

  “I’m angry with Finn, too,” Ella admitted on a rush of air. “The biggest bond we had was our animosity toward Dad. Now I’m this lonely, angry woman who can’t seem to stop crying.” She gave a watery laugh. “I bet you wish you’d known all this before you hired me to take care of Remi.”

  “It wouldn’t have changed anything,” Brynn told her.

  “You’re too nice of a person.”

  “I get that a lot.”

  “I’m not nearly nice enough.”

  Brynn kissed Remi’s cheek when the little girl snuggled against her. “You have a big heart, Ella. I can tell. It might feel a bit bruised right now, but hearts can heal. Trust me. I’m an expert.”

  “This may be none of my business, but are you and Nick an item?”

  Brynn wasn’t sure how to explain what was between her and Nick, but the word item didn’t begin to do her emotions justice.

  “Complicated is the best way to describe it,” she said with a laugh. Remi fussed and wiggled in her arms. She checked her watch. “Time for a diaper change and a nap,” she told the girl with another soft kiss to the head.

  “I’ll take her up,” Ella offered. “It will be good to see if she’ll go down for me without a fuss.”

  Brynn gave Remi to the other woman reluctantly. It was difficult to let the baby go, but she knew Remi was in good hands with Finn’s sister.

  She checked the messages on her phone after Ella headed upstairs. Josh had texted to tell her they were still planning to finish the work as promised, so she could prepare to return to her house on Christmas Eve.

  A flood of conflicting emotions washed through her. On one hand, she was grateful Josh’s crew had stayed on schedule, a rarity in the world of construction. On the other, she felt a pang of sadness about not being with Nick on Christmas morning. Over the past few days, his house had come to feel like home.

  She’d talked to Jennifer at social services, and as soon as the background check came back, Brynn would be approved as Remi’s foster parent.

  And Nick would be free of her.

  A thought that pained her more than anything else.

  Chapter Fifteen

  “I mean it, Marianne. Go take care of your yule log.”

  The station’s longtime receptionist chuckled as she straightened from her desk and began to load her tote bag. “That sounds kind of dirty, Chief,” she told him with a wink. “I’m going to have to tell Daryll you were talking about my yule log.”

  Nick rolled his eyes even as he felt a blush rise to his cheeks. Marianne had a bawdy sense of humor for a woman pushing seventy and took great pleasure in embarrassing Nick and his deputies. She’d been a fixture at the department since way before Nick’s time, and normally was the calmest, most easygoing woman on the planet.

  But it was three days before Christmas, and something had gone wrong with the recipe she’d made for a family dinner tonight.

  “In all seriousness,” she said, patting his hand. “I appreciate it. Daryll hasn’t been doing too well, and it means a lot that all our kids are coming back to celebrate Christmas with us a couple days early. It’s different when they have kids of their own, so I don’t take it for granted,” she sniffed. “That dessert has been my
tradition since they were toddlers baking in the kitchen with me. It has to be right.”

  “Then go make it right,” he told her. The station was quiet, with only a few of his staff out on calls.

  Just as he turned to head back to his office, the door opened and Jennifer Ryan walked in. Nick’s stomach dropped as the social worker gave him a wan smile.

  “Did we have an appointment?” he asked, an uncomfortable shiver passing through him.

  “No. Can we talk in your office?”

  Her tone did nothing to ease his growing panic, but he didn’t want to alert Marianne or any of the deputies still in the station that something might be wrong.

  “Remi’s mother contacted the department this morning,” Jennifer said as soon as the door clicked shut.

  Nick’s hand squeezed the knob as he forced his breath to stay even.

  “What did she say?”

  Jennifer shook her head. “She wouldn’t tell us exactly where she was or if she had a plan for returning.”

  “She reached out with no details?” He released the knob and stalked to the edge of the desk. How was he supposed to feel about this development? Of course, Nick wanted what was best for Remi, but he knew in his heart Brynn was meant to be the baby’s mother.

  “I’d left messages,” Jennifer said softly, then shrugged when he gave her a quelling glance. “You know how this goes, Chief. We can’t terminate parental rights until we do our best to reunite the mother and child. The state has a duty to contact the parent.”

  “She abandoned her baby,” he reminded the social worker.

  “I know.” Jennifer sighed. “Brynn is close to being approved, but if Francesca returns to claim Remi within the allotted time frame, we have to try to make things work with the biological parent.”

  “It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to see she isn’t equipped to care for that baby. She should have no claim to Remi now.”