Talk the Talk
Page 9
4. Have each member of the group share his profile report in a five-minute presentation.
For Discussion:
For each presentation, discuss:
1. For your mission, how difficult was it to find information in the script?
2. Was everything in the profile report substantiated by something contained within the existing script? Make sure that the person presenting the report identifes something specifc within the script to back up each assumption and conclusion.
After everyone has presented, discuss:
1. What facts or aspects of the character does the group find the most interesting?
2. What facts or aspects of the character does the group find surprising?
3. Based on the facts presented, what additional assumptions might be drawn about the character?
4. Based on the facts presented, does anyone in the group have a differing opinion on the character?
ROSENCRANTZ: Now why exactly are you behaving in this extraordinary manner?
—Tom Stoppard (Rosencrantz & Guildenstern Are Dead)
LESSON THIRTEEN:
Crafting the Line
I
am going to begin this chapter with a physics metaphor. Please, do not panic. Even if you're like me and you became a writer precisely because you couldn't cut it in math or science, hang in there. I promise to keep it simple.
Imagine a duck swimming in the river. The duck swims straight toward shore.
The duck paddles in one direction. However, the river also has a strong current downstream.
Now, what happens to the path of the duck?
The duck swims perpendicular to shore, but the current pushes the duck downstream at the same time. As a result, the duck travels to the shoreline in a diagonal path. This is a living example of Newton's second law of motion. That law states what many of us know to be true intuitively: An object's movement can be determined by the sum of all forces acting upon it. The duck pushes itself in one direction; the current pushes it in a different direction; the result is a path that reflects the combination of both forces.
What does this have to do with dialogue? Dialogue isn't just conversation; it's conversation in motion. Dialogue moves from one place to another. And, because it moves, we can find a very useful metaphor in Newton's laws of motion. Using Newton, here's a working definition of what makes a good line of dialogue:
A good line of dialogue manifests the sum of all forces (both internal and external) acting on a character at a particular moment.
To understand how this law plays out in your writing, imagine the following two scenes:
Scene 1: Your character is a lifelong Democrat. He hates the Republican party and everything it stands for. There is a knock on the door. A woman has come to solicit contributions for the Republican party. The woman is a complete stranger. What does your character say to her?
Scene 2: Your character is a lifelong Democrat. He hates the Republican party and everything it stands for. There is a knock on the door. A woman has come to solicit contributions for the Republican party. The woman is your character's childhood sweetheart — a love that he has dreamed about rekindling for the last two decades. What does your character say to her?
In Scene 1, the Republican is a complete stranger. Your character can say or do whatever he wants without fear of retribution. He might say, “Go to hell,” or he might just give a curt, “I'm not interested.” Whatever he says, the only force acting on him is the desire to tell the solicitor no and to make her go away.
In Scene 2, the Republican is your character's childhood sweetheart. A competing force is now in the mix. On the one hand, your character wants to communicate that he's not interested in making a donation. On the other hand, he wants to rekindle a romance. The character will adjust his response to reflect those competing forces. He probably won't say, “Go to hell,” or give a curt, “I'm not interested.” He will temper his response to be warmer and more respectful. If he values the woman more than he values his politics, he might even cave in and make the donation.
LESSON 13: SCRIPT ANALYSIS EXERCISE
Have the group attend the same play or watch the same movie. (See the Appendix for a list of suggestions.) Get copies of the script for the group to review.
Select one of the central characters. Have each member of the group select a different line of dialogue from that character. After each group member selects the line, she will present an analysis of that line. In the analysis, she should answer the following questions:
1. What is the context for this line? What is happening in the script at this moment?
2. What are the specifc forces (both external and internal) acting on the character in this moment?
3. Which of those forces are strongest? Which are weakest?
4. How did the line of dialogue reflect the balance of those forces?
For Discussion:
1. After each presentation, have the group weigh in with its perspective. Does the group agree with the analysis? Is there any disagreement? Was anything left out?
2. After everyone has presented, compare and contrast the forces acting on the character at different moments of the script. How are they similar? How are they different? What does that tell you about the character?
LESSON 13: BEGINNER EXERCISE
In this drill, you will practice bending lines of dialogue to reflect multiple forces acting upon a character.
1. We will start with one neutral line of dialogue:
MAN (to a woman): I'll see you at the conference this weekend.
Now, rewrite the above line four different ways:
• Man wants to start a long-term relationship with the woman.
• Man wants to have a one-night stand with the woman.
• Man wants the woman as a professional mentor.
• Man wants the woman to come work for his company.
2. You now have four lines of dialogue. Rewrite each of them three different ways:
• Man wants to seem smart.
• Man wants to seem charming or funny.
• Man wants to seem serious.
3. Take the resulting twelve lines of dialogue. Rewrite each of them two different ways:
• Man wants to play high status.
• Man wants to play low status
4. You now have twenty-four lines of dialogue. Rewrite each line to add a new force into the mix (create a different force for each line).
For Discussion:
After completing the exercise, you should have twenty-four lines of dialogue, each one reflecting a completely different mix of forces.
1. Have a writer read one of his lines. Have the group try to identify all the forces acting on the character in the line.
2. Have the writer read a different one of his lines. Have the group try to identify how the forces are different.
3. Repeat steps 1 and 2 so that each writer has a chance to share his work.
4. Have the group discuss the process for crafting the lines. What made the assignment easy? What made it difficult?
5. Did the addition of different forces change your perception of the character you were writing? Did it open up possibilities that you hadn't considered? Did it ever limit you in ways you found frustrating?
6. If you were to use one of your lines as the jumping-off point for a scene, which one would it be? Why?
LESSON 13: INTERMEDIATE AND ADVANCED EXERCISE
1. Start with the following two lines of dialogue:
CHARACTER A: I'm going to the store.
CHARACTER B: Get some milk while you're there.
2. Rewrite Character A's line three times. Each time, add an additional force acting on Character A. You may choose whatever forces you'd like.
3. Rewrite Character B's line three times. Each time, add an additional force acting on Character B. You may choose whatever forces you'd like.
4. Take the last line of the Character A and B rewrites. Use those lines as the f
irst two lines of a one- to two-page dialogue between the two characters. Try to keep the initial forces consistent through the entire dialogue.
For Discussion:
Read each dialogue out loud.
1. Have the group try to identify the forces acting upon each character.
2. How did different combinations of starting forces lead to creating different character personalities, different relationships, and different scenes?
3. For each dialogue, discuss whether the forces stayed consistent over the course of the whole scene. If not, when did they change?
4. If the author changed the combination of forces over the course of the dialogue, have the author discuss why that happened. Why wasn't he able to maintain the consistency of the forces?
LESSON 13: SOLO EXERCISE
Watch a play or a flm. Pick out a line of dialogue from that script.
1. Identify all of the forces acting on the character in that moment of dialogue.
2. Rewrite the line of dialogue at least five different times. Each time, completely change the forces acting on the character in that moment.
3. Write down a list of effects that this new line of dialogue might have on the scene or the story. How might this revision lead to changes in the script? Would it alter the plot? Would it alter a character relationship? Would it change your perception of a character's personality?
4. Repeat this exercise as an ongoing writer's workout.
MARGO: Fasten your seatbelts. It's going to be a bumpy night.
—All About Eve (1950)
LESSON FOURTEEN:
From Line to Line
L
et's start with a simple observation: Plays and films are experienced over a period of time. They are not instantaneous events. They last. Sometimes they last for five minutes, sometimes for eight hours, but they always last for some unit of time.
So you go into a theater, you sit in the dark, the curtain rises (or the film starts) and… What happens? What exactly happens?
Things change. On a fundamental level, when you are watching a play or a film, you are watching a series of changes. If things didn't change, the curtain would go up, you'd see the actors and… they'd stand there, frozen, perfectly still, forever.
Not so interesting, eh?
As a scriptwriter, your first job is to make things change. All of the performing arts have addressed this problem in some way. Musicians change sounds from moment to moment. Dancers change their bodies from moment to moment. Because scriptwriters create a whole universe, our palette is bigger. Unlike musicians and dancers, we aren't limited to simply changing sounds or movement; we can also change dialogue, costumes, lighting, sets, and props. We can change character actions, character relationships, and character situations. We can change the perception of ideas, themes, and images. We can change the laws of physics, the nature of good and evil, or the use of the word “sprinkle.”
The discussion of when and why to change things is something we will take up in later chapters. For now, let's consider how to change things. For this, we will return to our physics metaphor (again, stay calm, I promise to keep it simple).
In physics, to change the motion of an object, you change the balance of forces acting upon that object. If our duck is swimming toward shore and, suddenly, a gale force wind comes along, the duck will be blown off course. The shift in the balance of forces creates a shift in motion. Similarly, a shift in the balance of forces acting on a character will cause a character to change direction.
Writers have lots of different names for these moments of shifting forces: turning points, plot points, events, decisions, key moments, etc. Whatever term one uses, the important thing to remember is that these moments don't arise out of nowhere. They always mark a shift in the balance of forces underlying the action of the script. Each shift creates a clear dividing line between “before” and “after.”
Let's move our imaginary classroom to game six of the 1998 NBA finals: the Chicago Bulls vs. the Utah Jazz.
With nineteen seconds left in the game, the Utah Jazz are up by one point. Anticipating victory, the crowd in Utah is going wild. Their star player, Karl Malone, has the ball and is charging down the court to widen the lead. Then, like a stealth bomber, legendary Bulls player Michael Jordan jets in from behind and strips the ball from Malone. Jordan drives down the court and nails an eighteen-foot jump shot from the top of the key with five seconds left on the clock. The Jazz fans moan with one astonished gasp and fall silent. Here in Chicago, the city goes wild. Bulls win 87-86.
Compare that description of the game to this one:
With some time left to go in the game (no one knows how much), one team or the other is ahead (no one knows which one; we lost track). The crowd in Utah is scratching their heads, asking each other what is going on. Some guy on the foor takes the ball from another guy. However, no one is wearing uniforms, so we're not sure which teams the guys are on. The guy who took the ball charges down the court and shoots the ball, but we can't quite see if it goes through the net. A few people cheer. A few people boo. The rest of us wonder what's going on. We see the players leave the court and we belatedly realize that the game is over. We ask the other people at the stadium which team won. No one is sure.
So… which experience is more satisfying as a spectator? In which experience do we get to ride the twists and turns and experience the emotional highs and lows of the game?
Sporting events are dramas. They are very simple dramas, but we can still learn something fundamental about storytelling from them: To make the experience of a story satisfying, you must make the shifts in forces crystal clear to an audience. As a group, the audience needs to understand:
• The Situation: “With nineteen seconds left in the game, the Utah Jazz are up by one point.” In sports, we always know the lay of the land. At every moment, we understand the balance of forces with pinpoint precision. We know who's ahead. We know who's behind. We know how much time is on the clock. We know which team everyone is on. We understand the rules of the game.
• The Moment of Change: “Then, like a stealth bomber, legendary Bulls player Michael Jordan jets in from behind and strips the ball from Malone.” There it is: the exact moment when the tide turns. Everyone recognizes it. Jazz fans scream together in dismay. Bulls fans leap to their feet in hope.
• The New Situation Resulting from the Change: “Jordan drives down the court and nails an eighteen-foot jump shot from the top of the key with five seconds left on the clock.” As sports fans, we know, things are different than they were a few seconds ago. The Bulls have gone from one point down to one point up. With seconds to go, there is now almost no chance for the Jazz to recover. A few seconds ago, we anticipated a Jazz victory. Now we anticipate a Bulls victory. The balance of forces has shifted.
While plays, films, and sporting events are experienced over a period of time, change is experienced in an instant. When done well, it is a moment shared by the entire audience. In the most effective scripts, an audience laughs together, cries together, is surprised together, gasps together, realizes things together, and is horrifed together. In the least effective scripts, a few people laugh while others wonder why they are laughing. Audience members scratch their heads and whisper questions to each other like, “Wait, did that guy just confess to the murder? Or was he talking about something else?” The difference between effective and ineffective writing is the clear communication of change. An audience, at all times, needs to understand a) what's going on; b) when what's going on changes; and c) how the new thing that's going on is fundamentally different than before.
Line by line, dialogue rides on a current of shifting forces. If the script is written well, each line of dialogue will reflect those shifts. In the dialogue, the audience will feel the undulating balance of forces in the script viscerally. When those forces shift, the audience will experience it together, in a single dramatic moment.
LESSON 14: SCRIPT ANALYSIS EXERCISE
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sp; Have the group attend the same play or watch the same movie. (See the Appendix for a list of suggestions.) Pick the most powerful or interesting dialogue scene. Review that scene with the group.