Fire Within

by Ella M. Lee

  Magic from darkness, magic for darkness, the book had called it. Their need had literally called it from the depths of the ocean. The magic of colossal strength and graceful force and subtle manipulation and shifting illusions, as slippery and shadowy as its elemental influence. When I looked at the water in my hand, I could see how much was shared between them.

  This stunning magic had helped guide and protect those who navigated treacherous seas and rivers and waves and coves under starlight as much as under sunlight.

  My Flame magic had been so different. Vibrant, not mysterious. Bold, not subtle. Consuming, not lying in wait. Light, not dark. Wild, but in a completely different way—feral and destructive, not this unending forward motion. Flame was the magic of the sun and the planets and the depths of the earth, eternally burning. Yet now here I was, descending into the dark duality that was Water. It was everlasting movement but also impenetrable stillness.

  It was marvelous, and I was entirely enraptured.

  Tentatively, I waved my left hand over my right, and the water in my palm shifted and trembled. With another pass, I made it jump into a tiny wave, then two, then three.

  I could do this. I fought for every inch of control. Water magic was more unpredictable than I had anticipated, although in a different way than Flame. It took me a moment to understand it needed coaxing, not commanding.

  This sort of control over the raw element of a clan was the easiest thing to do with magic, but it would still normally take new magic users days or weeks of struggling to make that initial connection. It appeared that my ability to connect with Flame had carried over to Water, and I found it effortless to move the water without touching it.

  With yet another pass of my left hand, I focused and formed the water into a tiny crude tiger, with slanted eyes and lopsided stripes. I placed it on the floor gently.

  Nicolas’s smile widened into a delighted grin. He poured a bit of water into his own hand and formed it into a tiny wolf with a bushy tail, a hundred times more detailed and elegant than what I had done. He set it down next to my tiger, and it pounced, tackling the tiger to the floor. I flicked my hand, and the tiger was on its feet, pouncing back, nipping at the wolf’s tail.

  My concentration was shaky from all the stress, and I wasn’t familiar with Water magic. I tried to hold on to it, but the tiger splashed to nothing after another few seconds. I laughed. When I looked up at Nicolas, he seemed genuinely pleased. I put out my hand to the tiny wolf, who climbed onto it and galloped around in a circle before melting to nothing. I laughed again.

  “Thanks,” I whispered.

  What small amount of his magic that was left within me was fading quickly, leaving behind a heaviness in my limbs. I remembered this feeling from my early days of training with Flame. New magic was difficult and exhausting to use, and temporary magic gifted from a commander was particularly draining.

  Nicolas watched me intently and seemed to enjoy my happiness. I looked away, feeling shy. I had thought I understood him more after his demonstration of magic the previous day. But now? I truly felt like parts of his personality were clicking together.

  His magic had been intoxicating when he had shown me its beauty the day before, but using it had been on another level. I thought maybe I could love a man who wielded magic like that.

  Nicolas moved, startling me out of my drunken daydreams.

  “That was very impressive for someone who has never used Water magic before,” he said, cleaning up our mess with a flick of his hand. “Especially impressive that it was my magic you so easily controlled.”

  “It was nothing,” I said, unsure of how to respond to his compliment.

  “You seem to have an excellent understanding of it,” he offered. “You connect well.”

  I was bewildered by his praise, unable to do more than just shrug nervously.

  I knew that, on some level, this had been a test. Casual and fun, but still a test. To my relief, it seemed like I had passed it. I hoped that boded well for my future here. I was still looking for any way to charm Nicolas. He looked relaxed and thoughtful, and I prayed I was succeeding.

  My vision was slightly blurry, and I was light-headed again. “I’m going to…” I pointed to the bedroom. I couldn’t even finish the sentence. I stood shakily and made my way toward the bed, completely spent.

  I barely felt my head hit the pillow before I was asleep.

  I startled awake to Nicolas touching my shoulder. He quickly withdrew his hand, stepping away.

  “Fiona,” he said. “It’s dinnertime. I can’t let you skip every meal, especially after using magic.”

  “Okay,” I said, rubbing my eyes.

  I was still tired and woozy, but I didn’t feel completely exhausted anymore. The sun was setting now—I must have been asleep for several hours. I followed Nicolas into the living room. Dinner was laid out on his huge dining room table: noodle soup with dumplings and pork belly and green leafy vegetables.

  “Did you make this?” I asked as we seated ourselves and picked up our chopsticks.

  “Definitely not,” he said, smiling. “I can’t cook. I grew up pampered with a chef and a maid. This was Daniel again.”

  “I guess I can see why you keep him around,” I said, impressed. “He’s good for something after all.”

  Nicolas laughed lightly, and I relaxed. I had been worried he would take offense at my slight against Daniel, but he didn’t seem to mind having fun together at his lieutenant’s expense.

  “The food is just a bonus on top of all the other myriad joys he brings me,” Nicolas said.

  “He seems to care a lot about you.”

  Daniel was quite protective of his commander, invested in a way I didn’t usually see in Flame. Relationships in Flame tended to be more businesslike, whereas Nicolas referred to his group as his family and treated them that way.

  “He is family to me,” Nicolas said. “We aren’t related by blood, but he’s young, and I raised him. I love him, and I believe he loves me beyond words. Vienna scared him, although he would never admit that aloud.”

  I studied Nicolas. Over these past few days, I had seen flashes of a man who could be loved. Beneath his cold facade, he clearly had kindness and playfulness and generosity within him. Ryan cared for and respected him, and Daniel loved him. I wanted to believe they, who had known him for much longer, were correct. I wanted to believe I wasn’t wrong to have extended him some tiny fragments of trust.

  We ate in silence. He seemed to be trying to put me at ease. He had drawn his magic in tight once again, and he wasn’t staring at me, nor was he carefully tracking my every movement.

  When I was finished, I took my bowl to the sink and returned to bed. Nicolas didn’t say anything, and I appreciated that he wasn’t policing my actions. I felt about a hundred times better than before, although still tired and lethargic.

  Being away from Nicolas, even in the next room, made me feel a little better. I knew I wasn’t safer or freer in any way, and he still unnerved me. I wanted to see more of him relaxed like yesterday, but I wasn’t sure how to get that out of him naturally. He seemed to alternate between playful and coldly professional.

  I read for a couple of hours, trying to forget where I was. I was hoping that I could trick my body into feeling comfortable enough to get a full night’s sleep. I might go crazy soon if I didn’t get more sleep.

  Nicolas was on the couch again when I emerged next, working on his laptop. I sank down next to him, careful not to get too close. He took out his earphones and eyed me expectantly.

  “Is it okay if I sleep in your bed again?” I asked. “I’m about six seconds away from passing out.”

  “Yes, that’s fine. Get some rest, Fiona,” he said.

  “Where will you sleep?” I asked, hesitating.

  “I don’t sleep much,” he said, studying me. “I’m currently very busy. I might skip it altogether tonight.”

  Commanders could draw on their own sanctums to overcome things like
lack of sleep, but I knew it wasn’t good for them.

  “Worried about me?” he asked, amused.

  I looked away. “Good night,” I muttered.

  But when I glanced at him over my shoulder, his expression was kind and concerned. He made a small shooing motion with his hand, but the gesture was good-natured, and the tense knot in my chest uncoiled the tiniest bit.

  It was another fitful night for me. I spent most of it zoned out, half asleep, numb to feeling or comprehending anything. Eventually, Nicolas touched my shoulder gently.

  “Morning,” he said, standing over me.

  “Hi,” I said nervously, drawing back. “How are you?”

  His eyes met mine. “Fine,” he said, and his tone offered no hints to whether that was true or not. He paused. “And you?”

  “Still alive. I’ll count that as a win.” My words were more upbeat than I actually felt.

  He gave me the faintest smile, his eyes burnt caramel in the dim light.

  “I have a busy day,” he said. “Go get ready.”

  By the time I had showered and changed, Nicolas was dressed. Stylishly, of course, in a black blazer and a skinny black tie with an intricate knot. His hair was impeccably styled.

  “Where are we going?” I asked as he brought us out of his apartment.

  “Not far,” he said with his usual lack of elaboration.

  I followed him down the hall. He stopped in front of the door closest to the elevators and knocked. No response. He waited and then knocked again.

  “Daniel?” he called firmly. “Dan!”

  The door opened in a flash. Daniel was rumpled, clearly just out of bed. His eyes had dark circles under them, and his hair’s messy spikes had flopped into his eyes.

  His expression was deadly.

  “What the fuck?” he said, his eyes immediately drawn to me.

  I looked away.

  “Can we come in?” Nicolas asked, although it didn’t sound like a question.

  He didn’t appear to be put off by Daniel’s tone or harsh greeting, but I was tense, worried about how Daniel’s bad mood would affect his behavior toward me. Daniel narrowed his eyes but swung the door wide.

  This place was clearly his own apartment. It was small but looked comfortable, cluttered with books and Japanese manga volumes. The kitchen seemed frequently used and well equipped with expensive appliances and racks of spices and sauces. A sliver of his bedroom was visible through the ajar door, revealing a messy bed with dark linens.

  This apartment had the same floor-to-ceiling windows that were present in the rest of the building, with long ivory shades that were half drawn against the sunny day.

  Nicolas’s hands were on my shoulders as he guided me to the couch, and I tensed at his touch. Daniel perched uncomfortably on a plush chair across from us.

  “Nico?” he asked, hands spread, his tone dark.

  He paused, glancing at me. When he spoke again, out came harsh and flowing Cantonese. Nicolas sighed and responded in kind. I watched warily as they argued for several minutes. The argument was clearly about me, as evidenced by the few times I heard my name get mixed in with the unfamiliar words.

  “Enough,” Nicolas said after a while. “I’m not asking. This is an order. It’s just for the day.”

  Daniel looked upset, but he said nothing further and limited himself to glaring balefully at Nicolas.

  Nicolas stood. “Fiona, stay here,” he said, pointing at me. “Dan, don’t kill her. I’ll be back by dinnertime, nine at the latest.”

  I jumped up, my heart racing. “Wait, you’re leaving me here with him? Why?”

  Nicolas was cold and unnerving and confusing, but a known value was better than an unknown value, in my opinion. I had no idea how Daniel felt about me. Our interactions up until now had been lukewarm at best and violent at worst. I couldn’t imagine why Nicolas was leaving me with him.

  “That’s what I said,” Daniel put in. “Seriously, Nico, what do you expect?”

  “I expect you to take care of Fiona,” Nicolas replied. “Play nice, get to know one another, make friends. You were both doing so well the other night. Dan, don’t hurt her or let her get hurt. Don’t even so much as get near her without her permission. I will know, and I will make you sorrier than you’ve ever been before.”

  Daniel and I glanced at one another. Clearly we were on the same page about how absurd this seemed. It was almost comical how quickly we could silently come together on this point.

  Nicolas turned his gaze on me. “Fiona, be good with Dan. Obey him as you would obey me. I have some things to take care of, and it’s not a good idea to leave you alone or take you with me. Daniel is the most trustworthy person I know. I don’t want to hear about any fighting between the two of you. You are both adults—work out your issues.”

  Daniel stood. “Nico, wait…”

  But Nicolas was already at the door. “Ciao!” he called.

  His tone was cheerful, and I hadn’t managed to come up with a single word of protest before he was out the door.

  Chapter 15

  “There he goes,” Daniel said, throwing up his hands, clearly annoyed.

  His dark eyes met mine, and he shook his head, his expression rather disgusted. He sighed and sat back down heavily, rubbing his face.

  I was frozen, unsure if I should say or do anything. I had no desire to anger my new guardian in any way.

  “Fi?” he asked after a few moments of silence.

  His tone was gentler than before. I almost didn’t mind him using the nickname I only heard from my close friends and family because he said it so smoothly. Regardless, I drew back, wary.

  “Dan?” I said.

  “Have you eaten?”

  That was a tamer question than I had been expecting. I shook my head. He sighed.

  “Do you drink tea or coffee?” Daniel asked me, making his way to the kitchen.

  “Tea,” I said.

  I watched him dump tea leaves into a lovely gold-and-white teapot, which he then arranged with matching cups on a bamboo tray. I cleared a space on his living room table, stacking up some books and setting them aside. To my surprise, they were almost all books on economics. Not something I would have expected from this kid with ripped jeans and spiky, dyed hair.

  He sat down across from me and poured us tea. I watched him take a sip from his cup and then rub his face again, his eyes closed. He was less composed than Nicolas and didn’t seem to have any of Nicolas’s cold, stern demeanor right now. I wondered how they had found one another; Daniel seemed so very different from Nicolas.

  Not that Daniel wasn’t powerful—he was. I had noticed the insane amount of magic slung around him from the second I had first met him, and every careful movement told me he was well trained to handle a fight on less than a moment’s notice.

  Right now he looked harried and tired. I wondered how his opinion of me might have changed over the past couple of days. He didn’t seem interested in fucking with me, but I wasn’t sure if that was purely Nicolas’s ironclad directive, or if Daniel actually had a more favorable opinion of me now.

  “I only went to sleep an hour ago,” Daniel said, startling me out of my thoughts. “I had a long night, and I’m a little behind on everything. I wasn’t expecting Nicolas to drag me out of bed and stick me with you.”

  I grimaced, looking away. That didn’t seem like a good way to start our day together.

  “If you want to crawl back into bed, go ahead,” I offered.

  “That wouldn’t be polite, and Nicolas would flay me for it,” he said.

  I sighed. “I wouldn’t tell him. I’m exhausted too.”

  “Luckily for me, my magic can compensate,” he said. “You’re just stuck feeling awful.”

  I rolled my eyes and leaned back against the couch, folding my arms across my chest to hide my trembling. I was constantly trembling these days, a subtle reminder to me that no matter how much I told myself things were okay, there were parts of me that didn’t
believe that even for a moment.

  It was also a reminder that my best friend and other groupmates were dead, my clan had abandoned me, and I was alone in enemy territory. I was somehow both hyper-emotional and completely numb right now, my body both hot and cold, my heart hammering. Being stuck with Daniel was yet another new, scary challenge that I wasn’t sure I could handle.

  I reminded myself not to cry. I was stronger than that. Violet wouldn’t approve of my tears. No one in Flame would. And there was no knowing how my new keeper would react to some sort of emotional breakdown.

  I watched Daniel rake a hand through his messy hair. It was styled in longish spikes that resettled themselves artfully. He was eyeing me with at least some small amount of concern, but he said nothing, his face set into a frown, dark and thoughtful.

  “Okay,” he said finally. “I’m going to take a shower. Can I trust you not to try anything stupid right now?”

  “Do I look like I want to try anything at all?” I asked.

  “Fair enough. Stay there.”

  “Done,” I replied wearily.

  I lay down, curling into a ball. I had no desire to move. The windows and front door were shielded and warded. I couldn’t escape even if I wanted to. Much like with Nicolas, I didn’t think trying to find a weapon and going up against Daniel would be terribly effective.

  No. I would have to make the best of this situation as it was. Nicolas had told us to play nice and make friends. Those words implied to me that he believed that was possible. He knew Daniel very well, and he could see the future. I didn’t trust Nicolas entirely, but I trusted that he wouldn’t have left me here if he thought anything bad would happen to me.

  He had also implied before that Daniel would be a good advocate to have if I could charm him into liking me. So there was my goal for the day: keep Daniel happy. I would start by not moving a single inch from his couch, as he had asked.

  Daniel reemerged looking slightly more awake, shirtless, with his hair in his eyes. He had the broad expanse of a tattoo across his chest—an elegant landscape of mountains with twin dragons overlooking them and a string of Chinese characters running across the design.