Twinkle

by Skyler Steele

  “Oh! Camen knows the Pope and besides, the Pope is obliged to him. If you are interested”, he said smiling and he disappeared through the heavy oak door.

  We were all stunned by his last words and looked at each other speechless. Adam broke the silence first.

  “Even if he knows him it does not mean he will open widely the doors of some secret library…”

  “You are right but it is a start”, Sam said and a yawn escaped from her mouth.

  “I think we got really tired today. Let us continue the study of the texts and on Monday we will ask Camen for the Pope”, I heard Tomas saying.

  My agitation was so much…that I dropped the book of Genesis. His words showed he was well. Everything was alright and he would return soon, as Eric had foreseen. The sudden delight I felt was more than obvious, since it made Sam ask me wondering on our way back: “What makes you have this joyful face after this endless week? Aren’t you tired enough from Genesis? For all I know, I am dead tired… And besides our homework, I have to study for other classes too”.

  An endless week, yes, it surely was without his presence. But nothing compared to its ending and Camen’s return. In two days I would see him again. My smile became even bigger at the thought of his face, his soft voice, his smell that, slightly reminded me of lavender. Like a lightning, the smell of lavender and the dove at the window the previous morning, illuminated my mind. Was my need for him really so intense, that I was imagining his smell? I should go down in the garden to search for lavender. On the other hand, Christine was a witness to this incident. She could not be imagining smells too.

  “Hey, Adriana! Do you hear me or you are somewhere else?” Sam looked at me wondering.

  “Oh! I am sorry Sam. I was absorbed into my thoughts”, I apologized.

  “Which make you have this lost look and a smile reaching up to your ears…What are you thinking about, finally?”

  “Well, I was thinking about my home, my parents. I miss them a little”, I lied. Sam looked at me confused.

  “I do not want to be indiscrete but usually, when we become nostalgic sadness is all over our faces. You seemed to have your head in the clouds”.

  “Oh! Alright. You caught me… I was thinking about Camen or better yet his return”, I suddenly admitted not being able to hide anymore what was happening. To hide my joy was unbearable, much more than hiding the week’s sorrow. I wanted to share it with someone and, as crazy as it seemed to confess to someone I knew for only five days, the fact itself was crazier. The unexpected love which fascinated me in only one day proved wrong, any theory I had for human relations. Sam seemed the most proper person at the time and, just like that, I admitted my love for Camen.

  “I am in love, Sam, with someone I know very little. And believe me, since last week I did not know that this sentiment exited. For someone to feel this way when they find- and lose- the person that causes it. And even worse, I am in danger of appearing quaint, not to say ridiculous, when I let myself be driven without a fight and without terms to the whirl of the condition that we call love at first sight; something I believed happened to shallow people, those who are interested in the surface and the physical appearance unable to be charmed from the inner beauty of a person. Before I realized what had happened to me, Camen left, leaving me in the absolute loneliness of the people in love. However, now that he is coming back, my joy is so big that I am unable to hide it…”

  Sam’s face was making several expressions while I was talking.

  “Oh, Adrian. I could not imagine that something like that is happening to you. Forgive me for not paying attention to your bad mood but the project and the everyday studying did not give me a free moment”, she justified herself.

  “It does not matter, Sam. One way or another, my condition could not change. Nobody can fill the emptiness created by the absence of the person that rouses love…”

  And even more, I thought, nobody can comfort and support the one who is not trying, as he must logically do, to escape from this situation but he likes its existence and considers unthinkable not to be in it anymore.

  “No matter what, I could simply have been by your side. Perhaps, if you had talked to me from the beginning you could be relieved of a burden, and feel better. Many times, even the thought that we share what we feel, relieves us”.

  Relief would have been, if what happened to me had never happened. If I was doing only what I came here to do and not to get involved in love, which I do not even know if it will have a response”, I said breathless.

  She looked at me thoughtfully.

  “Look. I think Camen clearly showed an interest for you, and if Tomas had not said what… he said, I would dare say that his interest is more than friendly”.

  Sam revealed.

  “So, what did Tomas say?” I asked her with curiosity and expectation.

  She hesitated for a moment.

  “The other day, when we were studying the text about the creation, he said that it would be suitable for Camen to spent time with Genesis. And when I asked him why, he explained that he is deeply religious and that despite his impressive appearance, that makes girls rave, he never got involved with any girl. Not even with Sara, who was the sexiest girl in school. So, I thought that he is a person that sooner or later will commit himself to the clasp of church”.

  Suddenly, I felt numb. This was terrible. Something like this could not be happening; not to me. I could not be so unlucky, to fall in love with a man of god. And yet, I thought about the strange incident of the kiss, his words, his agitation. They all add up very well. And his escape, even that, seemed to be related with the kiss I tried to give him. In order to discourage me and maybe not to hurt me, he chose to leave for a while, showing me that he is not interested in a possible relation.

  And his knowledge about religion matters, the passion with which he was talking about his creator… Oh, my God! How did I not see all these signs? In the end, they are right. Love is blind and the lovestruck even blinder.

  Now, I was feeling even more ridiculous, and my previous joy- that lasted very little- was replaced by an immense grief. I was ready to burst into tears; something I knew would embarrass Sam, as I was trying to find the words to answer her claims.

  “Then, this would be the shortest and most sorrowful love”.

  I tried to show that I had accepted the fact.

  “I am sorry, Adriana. I did not want to spoil your happiness. But I think it is better to know. And of course, there is always the possibility that there was not any chemistry with a girl yet”, she tried to comfort me.

  I did not answer. We were almost outside Mrs. Janet’s guesthouse. I tried to smile.

  “Good night and thanks for everything, Sam”.

  She ran and hugged me.

  “I feel bad, Adriana!”

  “There is no reason to”, I said disheartened.

  “Let me make it up to you, at least for my indifference during the past week. Tomorrow morning, I was thinking of going for a walk in town. I need some books. If you come, I promise you the best tea in town”, she tried to tempt me.

  I laughed at the thought that she used the tea to do that.

  “We will see in the morning, Sam. I cannot promise anything”.

  “Good night, then”, she greeted me disappointed.

  “Goodnight”, I said and entered the guesthouse.

  Christine was already asleep, quiet as usual, dressed in French lace which had the colour of makeup powder. I looked at the baggy, white T-shirt I used to wear as a nightgown. Surely, we were incompatible, at least in our dressing style. Although, my female compatriots were famous for their dressing habits, I was rather an exception. I preferred jeans and shirts. The most formal piece of cloth I have ever worn was a velvet jacket, a gift from my aunt Rafaela, my father’s sister.

  I pulled back my hair and lay quietly on my bed, trying not to think of Sam’s words. Even one thought of these words could make me cry, something I did not want, whatsoev
er. Aunt Rafaela’s clothes were a good idea to avoid the thought of Camen being a holy man. I started thinking about her jackets; snake, leopard, floral; bright colors, mainly velvet- her favourite military style- and of course, I will never forget the Swarovski beaded dress which she was wearing last Christmas. Quite so, I fell asleep.

  In the morning, I woke up later than usual, and yet not at all relaxed. I had a shower, and wore my favourite jeans and a checked shirt. As I was brushing my hair, I heard Sam at the door. I had already decided to follow her into town, refusing to be in grief. I needed to escape from this place that reminded me of him so intensely. A walk out at the campus would surely be revitalizing.

  I opened the door to Sam and at the same time grabbed a black leather jacket which was among Christine’s woollen overcoats that were all over the place. “Good morning. How are you?” she asked me with obvious interest.

  “Good morning. Very well”.

  At least, I was trying to look that way. I made an effort to smile and I achieved it.

  “How are we going there?”

  “By bus. I am glad you decided to come”.

  I nodded in affirmation and we quietly got out of the house. Fortunately, it was not raining. The sky was dull but nothing was promising rain. Nevertheless, everything was wet, as a proof of last night’s storm.

  The bus did not take long to come and soon we were at the centre of Oxford.

  Stony, atmospheric buildings in Gothic style had ochre and grey colour; decorated with the distinctive obelisks which were competing with the tall trees, that raised their branches and making their presence imposing in this small town, of a hundred and fifty thousand people. Built at the bank of river Thames and favoured by the wet English climate, Oxford was overwhelmed in greenery.

  The blue and red busses were constantly going back and forth giving colour to the streets that looked almost without cars. However, the bicycles were numerous. At the central bus stop on Madlen Street people were crowding at the front door of the vehicle, from where everybody enters in order to buy a ticket.

  We walked around the town on foot looking for the road that would lead us to the park next to the river. The main street led us to the park path where the Thames and the Cherwell meet and, together with their tributaries and the canals, they create a big aquatic web around Oxford.

  The first impression… A boy is running along the river that flows calmly. Two squirrels are climbing up the centuries-old trees, ducks and geese are paddling together with a team of rowers. At the opposite bank, their coach is running parallel to them shouting the instructions.

  The best place? It is by the water that continuously runs through ancient paths.

  Indeed, the area around the rivers was first inhabited in 680 A.D. when, by the year 1000 A.D., a whole town was created. At Beaumont Street there was indeed a palace and Oxford was considered as the second most significant town of England, after London. There were also many monasteries here that became an attraction for the young people who wanted to go to university. The date that marked the town, in relation to its establishment as educational centre, was 1167, when the University of Paris shut its doors to English people because of a religious fight. This resulted in that, the exile students overflowed the Monasteries around. Then, the establishment of the University of Oxford followed, in 1213.

  We left the park and headed to the centre, which had sidewalks in most of its parts. Before we entered George Street, where the main market was, we passed by Carfax, which is considered the centre of the town. It is a 13th century tower which in the past, it housed the church of Saint Martin. Now, it accommodates the official clock of Oxford and offers, maybe, the most beautiful panoramic view of a town that excites the fantasy, even of the most unsentimental visitor. Oxford really obliges you to bow at its timeless beauty.

  We dared ascend it. When I saw the view from high up, it looked like a painting drawn on the green earth, I envied god. He had the best view.

  When we arrived at the market we wondered around the streets, browsing the shop windows and the sights. Sam was chatting joyfully and made me feel nice with her carelessness. A girl talk is always beneficial. It is all about cosmetics, clothes and most of all, boys. After a while, I was almost sure she liked Tomas, although, just as we stopped in front of a shop window with clothes, she showed admiration for Eric.

  “I have not brought any dresses”, she said, more to herself. “Do you?”

  “No”, I admitted. “I prefer jeans”.

  “This is not very good. Girls should wear dresses, especially when going out with boys”, she smiled and pulled me into the shop, winking at me.

  The shop assistant, a redhead woman with freckles and green eyes, welcomed us smiling. She asked us politely what we were interested in. I did not have the chance to speak. Sam was enlightening her about the kind of cloth she wanted.

  “Something for a night out, without adornments, something simple and feminine.”

  She tried many pieces to end up with dark blue cashmere.

  “Your turn”, I heard her saying.

  “Oh, no…I do not think I can support a dress”, I said.

  “Why not? You are slim and you probably have nice legs, if you let us see them. Besides, I cannot get out wearing this”, she pointed at the dress, “and you…” She made a move pointing at me.

  Maybe she is right, I thought. A nice dress could be like a therapy. “Alright”, I agreed and I took from her hands only the black and the ivory, leaving the red and the fuchsia aside. I would never dare to wear something so bright and fancy.

  I ended up on the black one; a woollen, slightly open to the neck with length that reached over the knees and a thin leather belt.

  When we left the shop I was feeling so much better than before. It is surprising how much shopping therapy influences a woman’s psychology.

  “Eric!” Sam yelled suddenly.

  I turned and saw her gesturing towards him as he was crossing the road. With a couple of moves he came near us, smiling and all handsome in his black clothes.

  “I see, you did stir up the market”, he said pointing at the bags we were holding.

  Sam smiled apologetically.

  “Good morning, Eric!”

  “I suppose you did girly things.”

  I could not help but smiling, thinking about how much I had abstained from those girly things.

  “I guess”, I finally answered. “And you?”

  “I had some things done and I was going for a coffee. What would you say to come with me?”

  A wide smile lit his face.

  “I think we have a little time. Well, Adrian, what do you say?” Samantha asked me almost begging.

  How could I say no, seeing her expression?

  “Yes! Why not?”

  I accepted and we followed him to a small cafe with red bricks and wooden details on the bar.

  We sat at a quiet table next to the window. It was half covered with a lace curtain. The place was beautiful, simple and tasteful, as the English style generally is.

  “How is the project going?” Eric asked.

  “I think we found ourselves at a new standstill. After we discovered a second woman hidden in the bible, as you mentioned, we cannot find the reason of her absence from Paradise”, I explained.

  He remained thinking for a moment, like he was weighing his thoughts, and with an impossible rationale he blundered the following: “Why would a woman ever leave, especially from Paradise, where all things were so well placed and she was offered absolute happiness?”

  “I do not know”, I answered.

  “Why would a woman abandon her mate, all the more when she knows he is the only man?” Eric continued.

  Samantha’s face brightened.

  “Because she does not love him”.

  “Exactly! A woman who is in love never abandons the object of her desire. And because god gave the free will to humans- without foreseeing that love is born only through the chemistry developed
unexpectedly between two strangers, and not necessarily between those who look more like brothers, considering the way they were created- I will consider that the unknown abandoned Adam, refusing Paradise and its creator, because love between them simply did not happen”.

  “I have never heard of a crazier theory”, I said with my eyes fully open.

  “It has, however, a logical base, Adrian. We must accept it”, Sam was heard, obviously enthusiastic from the idea of love that did not happen between the First humans.

  “Why does it impress you, Adrian? Don’t you see around you, what people who are in love do? Imagine yourself forced to live, even in an earthly Paradise, with someone who is entirely unimportant to you. What would you do? Would you wait until the end of your life, to save yourself from this ordeal or you would abandon him?” Eric asked, looking at me intensely.