Second Chance Fate

by Ella J. Smyth

  So I pushed down on the pressure until my chest felt like exploding. Bit by bit, the strain eased until I felt the magic recede. Then I fell back onto my chair, holding on tightly to the table in front of me. My knees were wobbly after the effort. But there were more important things to think about than how I felt.

  "My parents. I need to get to them. You’ve got to… Will you help me?"

  Strickland had been watching me, his eyes wide with anxiety. Now that I was back in control, he released an exhale heavy with relief."Of course I’ll help you. That's why I’m telling you all this. I needed to impress the seriousness of the situation on you. I warned you before not to trust anybody. Now I'm telling you again. Don't talk to anybody about this. I'm going to find a way to get you out of here. Nobody deserves what these people are planning for you."

  And there the panic levels went off the scales again. Nobody deserves what they’re planning for me. To tear my body apart in the most painful and gruesome way to steal my power. Fuck. I gasped for air, trying to calm myself as my heart rate ratcheted up again, higher and higher. I was losing control of everything, my body, my breathing.

  “Goddammit," Strickland mumbled.

  I was dimly aware he pulled something out of his coat pocket and walked around the table to get to me. I was slumped, half-lying, half-sitting in the chair, struggling to get my breath back, when he knelt in front of me and put something to my lips.

  "Drink, Amber. You'll feel better. It's only a panic attack."

  A sticky, sweet liquid ran into my mouth, and I swallowed convulsively. Within seconds, the room righted itself, and my heart slowed down.

  "Better?"

  Strickland was still kneeling in front of me, a concerned look on his face. I nodded. I felt so embarrassed about losing it like this. But I was still a teenager, for God's sake. It wasn’t every day you were told about sinister government forces trying to kill you. And your parents along with you.

  Once I was able to stand, Strickland walked me back to my dorm. He grabbed my arm as we moved across the campus, in case I was still unsteady on my feet. Which, fair enough, I was. But his presence by my side, so close to me, made me uncomfortable. Maybe I looked as weirded out as I felt because halfway across the green, a familiar voice shouted, “Amber!”

  Julian was striding towards us. From a distance, it looked as if his face floated above his black outfit. The lamps dotted along the path tinged his skin yellow whenever he moved through a pool of light.

  Strickland stepped away from me. “I’ll have to go, Amber. I’m sure Julian will take care of you.”

  With a courteous nod at Julian, he disappeared into the darkness. Julian stopped in front of me. “I saw you coming out of the Mag-Chem lab with Strickland. What were you doing there?”

  I stared at him. Julian was a good guy. No, a great guy. I couldn’t get him involved in this crap. Plus, I still hadn’t given him my answer. He didn’t deserve being jerked around like that.

  His face usually broke into a broad grin when he saw me, but now his expression matched the goth outfit he favored. Pale, depressed, as if he couldn't be bothered with anybody around him. Yet he still went out of his way to make sure I was okay. Yet I was the one who’d made him feel bad. I needed to fix this.

  "Yes. I’ll go to the ball with you."

  I watched his expression. His eyes narrowed and the corner of his mouth twitched upwards.

  Oh man, I hate apologizing.

  "Julian. I said yes. And I’m sorry for making you wait."

  Leaning in, I kissed his cheek. He turned his head towards me, the hair covering his left eye barely hiding the glint of amusement. When he looked fully at me, his grin grew like a sunrise on a cloudy day. Finally, he reached out and squeezed my hand. "That’s awesome. I was really worried you wouldn't want to come with me."

  "I wouldn't do that to you."

  “Especially now, when…”

  His voice petered off, as if he wanted to say something else but changed his mind. I frowned, watching his eyes go from cheerful to sad in an instant. Tentatively, I asked, “When what?”

  The turmoil in his voice was evident when he answered. “Remember when I tried to grow a plant in class and it died?”

  I nodded. “Did they test you?”

  “Several times. The last time was a few days ago. A high-level empath observed me, and Ms. Farkas gave me the results today.”

  An empath? Another term I hadn’t heart before. Something to ask about later, not now. “And?”

  “Apparently my energy’s been warped. It sometimes happens. So far it’s only interfered with earth magic and no other elements. But if it gets worse, I won’t be able to graduate.”

  I swallowed hard. What would happen to him then? I wanted to ask but his face had closed off, as if he regretted having told me. His eyes were hooded and his jaw tense. He was obviously done with the subject. So I dropped it for now and focused on his hand holding mine, his warmth seeping into my cold fingers. At least I was feeling back to my normal self after the panic attack.

  I didn’t want to leave, but a yawn split my face in two. Julian chuckled and placed a kiss on my forehead before wishing me goodnight. I watched him walk away until his dark silhouette melted into the shadows.

  Strickland’s dire warnings were already losing their their power. I wasn’t going to fret over something I couldn’t change. Plus I don’t fully trust him. No idea why, but he weirds me out. And besides, not like I can do much anyway until he gives me further instructions.

  Maybe I got to go to the dance with Julian. Maybe I didn’t. I just hoped that once I was out of here, I’d manage to stay in touch with him. Because I really, really liked him. I fell asleep with a smile on my face as I thought of Julian.

  “Oh my God, Amber. Wake up. That flea-bitten cat of yours is waking up the whole dorm.”

  I grunted and pulled the pillow over my ears.

  “Get up. Seriously, if you don’t shut him up, I’ll rub tuna all over you.”

  That made me laugh. I imagined battling the cat off me, and I wasn’t taking bets on the outcome. After more than a month of good food, he’d for sure built more muscle than me. In fact, he was becoming a bit pudgy, the greedy orange pig.

  I pulled the pillow off my head, and then I heard it. A warbling growl, rising and falling in pitch, starting low before growing louder and louder, it grated like chalk on a blackboard.

  “Make him shut up, Amber!”

  I sat up, looking around the room. Sharon was gone, but Beth stood in front of me, hands on her hips.

  “You didn’t feed him last night. You just went to bed and left it to me to look after him.”

  I ducked my head. She was right, of course. I’d been a bad cat-mother. It had been even worse in the beginning when Slug and I’d still been getting used to each other. He hadn’t been happy about being locked inside. Slug had crapped into Sharon’s shoes in protest, which, yeah, okay, that had been hilarious. The smell not so much, but Sharon’s outraged face as she’d hopped one-legged to the bathroom to wash it off? Priceless.

  “Slug, come on. Come to momma. I’m sorry I neglected you.”

  As if he’d only waited for me to call him, Slug shot out from under Beth’s bed and jumped straight onto my lap. His screeches turned into a deep, rumbling purr as I ran my hands from his head over his back.

  What was I going to do with him? I’d promised, back when I’d found him, that I’d never abandon him. Would I be able to take him when I left? I didn’t know. Maybe I could put him into a bag and carry him? Except he was so big, I wouldn’t be able to take much else. And I certainly couldn’t release him into the forest. He wouldn’t last long. Even now, I was reluctant to let him out during the day, although the other students were used to him by now and opened the main door to let him in and out.

  I had to figure out something. One way or the other, I wouldn’t abandon him. Slug made me laugh and slept with me when I was scared. I couldn’t imagine my life with
out him. But, if necessary, I’d give him up to keep him safe.

  “Beth.” My roommate turned around and looked at me questioningly.

  “If anything happened to me, would you take Slug?”

  Beth stared at me. “What do you mean?”

  “Say I managed to transfer out of here, would you look after him?”

  Now she looked confused. “But he’s your familiar. If you are transferred, he’ll go with you.”

  I exhaled harshly, trying not to get impatient. “What if I wasn’t transferred, but left anyway. Would you take him?”

  “Left? Like what, escape?” She sounded incredulous. I avoided her gaze as her eyebrows crept towards her hairline. I’d already said too much.

  “Amber, are you talking about busting out of here?” She laughed. “You know that’s impossible, right? There is no escaping from here until we graduate.”

  I really, really wanted to tell her. But I didn’t know if I could trust her. The silence stretched between us until my teeth ground together.

  Finally, Beth said softly, “Look, I’ll promise you this. If there’s nobody around to look after the orange hellion, I’ll do it.”

  19

  By the end of October, I had caught up with my classes. Well, at least with the theory of magic. And I was on my way to developing a huge crush on Julian. We walked together to classes, sat in the library and quietly did homework together. He hadn't tried to kiss me again, but I often looked up and noticed him staring at me. It never failed to make me blush.

  After my chat with Beth about Slug, she spent much more time making friends with the orange monster. One evening, as I returned from another study session, she was sitting on her bed with the cat in her lap.

  “Hey, Amber.” Beth smiled as she ran a hand over Slug’s back. "Do you know what you’re going to wear to the ball yet?”

  I shrugged. I was still waiting for Strickland to give me more information so hadn’t given it a lot of thought.

  "There is only a month left. Are your parents going to send you something? Or will you order a dress online?"

  I shook my head. "No, I still haven't been able to reach them. And to be honest, I'm not much for ordering clothes online. They never fit."

  Beth sat up straighter, and Slug slipped off the bed, throwing a slightly offended look at her. "Come on. Order a couple of sizes and return the ones that don’t fit. You know it takes about two weeks for anything to get here. If you don't order in the next ten days, it’ll be too late."

  Beth jumped off the bed and went to get her laptop. I wasn't allowed to have one, but other students were given an hour of free internet every day. Certain sites were blocked, like news sites or social media, but they were allowed to order school supplies and clothes.

  I didn't want to tell Beth I didn't have a credit card, and that I basically lived off the government’s mercy. So I sharpened my tone, hoping to get her to stop badgering me into this. "Leave it, I'll do it later."

  Beth didn't give up. "Come on, Amber. It’ll only take a few minutes. Do you know the kind of dress you want?" She just wouldn't stop.

  "I might not even be here, alright?" The moment those words left my mouth, I bit down on my tongue. Shit. I can’t believe I said that.

  Quickly, I tried to cover my mistake. "Sorry, I shouldn’t have snapped. You were only trying to help. It was a shitty joke. Scoot over, I'll have a look at what's available."

  Beth moved up to give me space on her bed, but there was a suspicion in her eyes that told me she didn't believe me. If I talked any more about it, it would make her even more suspicious. Instead, I kept my mouth shut and browsed through an endless array of expensive dresses I would never be able to afford.

  The next morning, I was late for my first class. I hurried across campus to get to the classroom inside the main building. As I opened the door, I heard Julian's voice in the hallway. My face broke into a big grin, and I was about to turn the corner and greet him, when Beth’s voice joined his.

  That stopped me in my tracks. The two of them knew each other, but there was no reason for them to have a serious conversation while class had already started.

  "Are you sure?" Julian's voice was full of surprise and hurt.

  Beth answered, "I'm sure. She clearly said she might not be here for the ball. What do you think that means? Do you think she's planning to escape?"

  "I really hope not. Security is tight, and if she gets caught, she could get hurt or worse. Plus she’d lose all privileges. They’d probably take her familiar as well."

  Beth's voice sounded shocked. "Can they do that? I thought familiars were so attuned to their owners, separation would hurt them both."

  Julian's voice sounded sad. "I don't think they’d do it permanently, but even temporary separation would be horrible for both of them."

  Pressing my back against the wall, my heart beat loudly in my chest. What was going on? Why was Beth repeating to Julian what I’d said? And why did Julian listen to my roommate telling stories about me?

  Once again, I felt betrayed and completely alone. Just when I thought I'd found a friend and maybe a boyfriend, they both ganged up on me. I turned back the way I'd come, unable to face Castle and his continued sarcastic attacks, and went back home. Except this wasn't home. And it never would be. Home was where I'd been torn from, my friends and my family. The people I could trust.

  In the end, I couldn’t face the small bedroom. Instead, I walked around campus until it was time for the next subject. For the rest of the day, I drifted through a haze of anger and confusion. I skipped dinner and tried to distract myself with getting a head start on a paper due the following week. But every time I thought of the conversation between Beth and Julian, my stomach clenched in anger.

  I couldn’t even look at Beth when she walked into the dorm room later on. Ignoring her greeting, I glared at her briefly before knuckling down to my essay. She gave up trying to talk to me when I didn’t respond.

  But no matter how angry I was with her, worse was the fear in the back of my mind. Fear that they’d told somebody. That somebody had overheard them. And also, I’d skipped class. Something I’d been told at the start would have consequences. I hunched over, pressing my arms against my stomach. My apprehension flamed into a brief burst of panic, until I wrestled myself back under control. All I could do was wait.

  It didn't take long for the fallout to hit. That evening, a heavy knock on the door announced an official visitor. Lawson, the guard I’d met on the first day, stood outside, his face a grim mask.

  "You need to come with me, now. The panel is expecting you."

  What the hell is the panel? Are they the ones going to punish me for skipping class? I got up, dread rising once again like heartburn inside my chest. Grabbing a light jacket, I was about to close the door when I realized I might not be back any time soon. No matter how angry I was with my roommate, I knew I could count on her for this.

  "Beth, please look after Slug."

  The cat jumped off my bed and ran towards me faster than his considerable bulk should have allowed. I was about to bend down to pick him up when Lawson slammed the door shut, right into Slug’s face. The cat yowled and threw himself against the door. I gasped and looked at Lawson, about to beg him to let me open the door to make sure Slug hadn’t hurt himself.

  The guard grunted. "He's fine. Can’t you hear?"

  I listened. Slug was still alive, judging by the scraping of claws against the inside of the door. He might not have been my familiar, but he sure as hell was a loyal friend.

  Lawson gestured to follow him, and I traipsed after him like a guilty child. When we walked up the stairs in the main building, instead of turning right at the top to bring me to the head witch’s office, he turned left. At the end of the hallway, Lawson knocked on a door and entered with me in tow.

  "I present to the panel Amber Whitman."

  After he’d announced me, he stepped back outside and closed the door. I found myself in front of a
long table with Ms. Farkas in the middle and the entire teaching staff either side of her. The curtains were drawn, even though there was still some daylight outside. A weak bulb in a single lampshade dangling off the ceiling cast shadows on the teachers’ faces.

  Some of them looked angry, others regarded me with a stony expression. Why were they all here? It seemed like a lot of effort to punish me for a skipped class. And what was it with the setup? My head swam as I was trying to figure out what this was about. I was getting really scared.

  Ms. Farkas spoke first. "Sit, Amber.”

  She pointed at the single chair in front of the long table, and I sat down dutifully. My mouth dried up as I squirmed on the seat. I didn’t know what to do with my hands. Facing seven adult magic users, each of whom could obliterate me with a wave of their hand, was terrifying. Especially since I had a secret to hide.

  "Amber, it has come to our attention that you are planning to escape this facility."

  Okay, so it wasn’t a secret anymore. I gulped and gripped the seat of my chair while trying to keep my face neutral. Stay tough. Maybe you can bluff your way out. "I don't know what you're talking about. Who told you that?"

  Castle said, his tone dripping with condescension, "Never mind that. And please don't lie to us. Our source is confidential and trustworthy."

  I stared at the teachers. They regarded me as if I were a nasty bug. Mrs. Palmer looked disappointed, as if she couldn’t believe I was here before her.

  I sought out Strickland. He moved his head from side to side in a barely noticeable gesture. I took it as a command to be quiet, to not admit anything.

  Sitting up straighter, I said loudly, "I don't know what you're talking about. If you don't give me more details, I can’t defend myself."

  After another long pause, Ms. Farkas nodded. "We realize you’re no ordinary student, Amber. You aren’t here because you failed your regular school, or because your parents come from a proud tradition of magic users. You’re here because the onset of your powers caused damage and death.