Second Chance Fate

by Ella J. Smyth

  For the rest of the morning, I spent some time in the library, catching up on homework, and finally had lunch by myself. All my friends were busy doing their own thing. There were other students around, but I wasn’t in the mood to talk to anybody today. By the afternoon, I was so thoroughly bored and depressed, I went back to bed.

  When Beth and Sharon returned, the cover was pulled over my head, and I pretended to be asleep. I tried to hide that I’d cried most of the afternoon. They’d probably had a great day with their friends and family, and I didn’t want to be a Debbie Downer.

  I couldn’t fool Beth, though. My mattress sagged as she sat on the side of my bed. "Amber," she whispered. "I brought you some special chocolates my dad got me. I'm sorry you were all alone today."

  I held perfectly still, pretending to breathe evenly. I was thankful for her thoughtfulness, but right now, nothing was making me feel better. I was nearly eighteen, but today, I needed my mom. Needed her so badly that the pain cut my heart in two.

  24

  On Monday, I could barely concentrate during lessons. Mrs. Palmer was explaining how elemental powers had a tendency to rebound on the user if they weren’t careful. Normally, I would have hung on every word, but today, all I could think about was my poor cat. I’d checked in on him before class, and he’d still been asleep. The nurse had assured me he’d had a quiet night and his vitals were perfect, but I couldn’t get the thought of his motionless body out of my mind. Every time I remembered, my eyes welled up, and I had to clench my jaw to not burst into tears in front of everybody.

  It wasn’t until the last class of the day that I remembered I’d arranged to meet Kiernan. Every step on my way to the library churned my stomach more.

  Why am I so nervous to see him all of a sudden? Am I still pissed about how he waved me off yesterday? I get he was in an intense conversation with his mom, but damn, it hurt when he did that. Or is it the moment we shared when I touched his hands?

  Unless I’d imagined the tension between us. But I didn’t think I had. I remembered how his hands had felt under my palms and the warmth in his green eyes. I slowed down until I was dragging my feet. My nervousness didn’t lift until I saw Kiernan waiting outside the library.

  He was fidgeting with a small, white ball, throwing it up and catching it with relentless concentration. As I approached, his face lit up with a relieved grin. “Hey, girl. I wasn’t sure if you’d show up. How’s Slug? And what about you? Are you feeling okay?”

  Oh, yes. The old “familiars are bonded with their owners” problem. I hated lying to Kiernan, but Slug’s safety came first. “I had a stomachache when Slug got sick, but I’m feeling much better, thanks.”

  Keen to move the conversation on, I said, “Was that your mom yesterday?”

  “Yes, and my dads.”

  Hang on. What? Dads? As in plural? I must have misheard.

  But before I could ask again, he stepped closer and put his arms around my waist. “That’s good. I was a little worried. The head witch agreed to let me see my parents yesterday. My mom picked me up as a surprise on Sunday morning. By the time I got back, it was too late to come see you.”

  At least he got to see his mom, even though they’d had a disagreement yesterday. I clenched my jaw in response to the jolt of jealousy running through me. It wasn’t Kiernan’s or anybody else’s fault—just a shitty roll of the dice.

  As if he’d felt my distress, Kiernan tightened his arms and pulled me close. I tucked my head into the scratchy fabric of his coat. His heat surrounded me, and I reveled in his scent of damp and earth. The tension dropped off me, and I took a deep breath. Kiernan’s heart beat steadily under my ear. As I was smelling his scent and felt his bulk against me, another want arose in me.

  Pressing my body closer, I lifted my face and pressed my lips against his. He easily opened for me as I explored his mouth. First gently, then harder, I melted into the sensation. Closing my eyes, I focused only on what my tongue tasted and my body felt.

  Kiernan moaned quietly as his hands slid lower and gripped my hips. Something hard pushed into my belly, and a jolt of excitement flashed through me. I was the reason he was turned on. Before I could think better of it, I ground my pelvis against his.

  In response, he gasped. “Stop, Amber. Stop.”

  Confused, I opened my eyes. His face was right there. He was so close I saw specks of gold and amber in his green eyes.

  “Why?” I asked. Did he not want to do this with me?

  “We’re in public. I really don’t want to give everybody a show.”

  Ah, yes. I’d kinda forgotten where we were. Inhaling deeply to calm myself, I stepped back. “We should probably get started with the project anyway.”

  Kiernan nodded, still holding on to me. When he finally moved back, he took my hand and didn’t let go until we were inside the library in our favorite work place. For the next two hours, we ran through exercises and honed our project.

  When we left the library, it was already dark. It was the third week of November, and frost was nipping at our skin as Kiernan walked me back to the dorm building. He held my hand all the way there. It felt weird, doing this in public as if we were a couple. My brain was whirring with emotions and confusion.

  I liked making out with Kiernan. But what about Julian? There’s a word for girls who two-time their boyfriend. But I like them both. Does that make me a slut? I don’t want to be a slut.

  Kiernan tried to kiss me again when we got to my dorm. I turned my head so his lips brushed my cheek. Then I fled to the safety of my room. Once inside, I lifted my fingers to the spot where his mouth had been. I thought back to his kiss and the feel of his body, and the yearning to feel him again, to be touched by him, stayed with me for the rest of the night.

  On the Thursday before the term finals, Mrs. Palmer gestured for me to come up in front of the class. "Come on, Amber. I'm sure everybody would love to see how much you can stretch your magic."

  I didn't move. I knew I’d have to work on my primary power at some stage. Ms. Farkas had hinted at it already, but now that it was time, my head swam with anxiety. She wants me to show my lightning power. Jesus.

  My palms were growing sweaty as I stared at her with wide eyes. What if I set off a chain reaction? What if the lightning got out of control? There was nowhere to run in the small classroom. Would I be forced to watch as my power struck down my classmates and teacher?

  The struggle must have shown on my face because Mrs. Palmer said, "I know you're worried. But trust me, the dampeners work fine. They won't allow your powers to go completely out of control."

  I nodded. I had to hope she was right. After all, Ms. Farkas had kept her promise of getting the dampeners fixed. Maybe the technicians had been overcautious when I’d first arrived, but now I'd made great progress in all the practical exercises. Swallowing hard, I stepped forward and faced the class.

  Taking a deep breath, I closed my eyes. As I focused inwards, I sensed a small ripple inside my core. Imagining it like gas rising in a water bottle, I nudged the bubbles until they grew larger and moved upwards towards my extremities.

  I was amazed at the difference between my secondary powers and this one. When I pushed water drops out of my fingertips, it felt like a little tingle in my skin, nothing more. But this lightning magic was so strong, it seemed to distort my limbs as it crept along inside of me.

  Just when I thought I couldn’t stop it from bursting through my skin, I felt something push against it from the outside. It provided just enough resistance to make it possible for me to control it.

  Relieved, I nudged the bubbles a little harder towards my hands. My eyes were still closed when the entire classroom gasped. I looked down at my hands, and my jaw dropped. My fingertips glowed a brilliant purple with white sparks dancing along my nails. Eerie and pretty at the same time.

  Mrs. Palmer's calm voice restored order. "Quiet down, class."

  Addressing me, she said, "Push your fingertips together, then
bring them slightly apart to create an arc between them."

  I did as she’d said. When my fingertips touched, a loud crackle broke the silence. The students in the first row stared at my hands. One or two were at the edge of their seats, ready to run if necessary. I didn't blame them.

  Little power arcs ran along the skin of my arms, aided by the cold sweat breaking out all over my body. I was probably as scared as the students were.

  Here goes nothing. Bracing myself, I carefully brought my hands apart, focusing on keeping the energy connected between my fingertips. Blinding white light danced across the widening gap. Slowly, I moved my fingers farther apart, forcing myself to slow down. The arc stretched but didn’t break. If anything, it seemed to get stronger.

  "Very good. Now let's try something else. See if you can use your magic to power the bulb in my desk lamp." Mrs. Palmer pointed at an old brass light perched on her desk, a good ten feet away.

  I gulped. This was as nerve-wracking as defusing a bomb might be. Come on. You can do this. I took another deep breath, centering myself as we’d practiced over and over in PE. Then I imagined my magic bridging the gap between my hands and the lamp.

  The white arc pulled towards the bulb, forming a triangular shape between my palms and the target. But that was all that happened. I couldn’t get it to move any farther. Halfway between my position and the light bulb, the energy fizzled out.

  Mrs. Palmer said quietly, "Don't just focus on your fingers. Listen to the magic inside of you. Pull power from it, and then push it through your fingers. You have a never-ending reservoir inside of you. That’s what makes you so powerful. Use it."

  I nodded and closed my eyes again. Sure enough, there was a pulsing pressure behind my ribcage. I imagined it as a slowly rotating, tiny sun, complete with flares. Gently skimming off as much power as I could, I pushed it towards my fingers. Then I opened my eyes and tried again. This time, the arc between my fingertips crackled all the way towards the lamp.

  A miniature bolt of lightning hit the bulb and exploded it with a loud bang. Glass shards flew everywhere, and the students next to the light flinched out of the way. For a moment, there was total silence as we all stared at the smoking remains of what had once been a perfectly working, if ugly, brass lamp.

  25

  All eyes swiveled to Mrs. Palmer who had gone a few shades paler than usual. She took a deep breath and said, "Well. You certainly showed a little less restraint than I’d hoped for."

  I dropped my head and muttered, "Sorry."

  "No need to apologize, dear. I asked you to do something that frankly most of my students wouldn't be able to. This was actually very impressive. You have to learn how to tighten your control some more and use less energy. Also, well done for not blowing up the classroom."

  A couple of students laughed nervously. I sat down again, strangely proud. Yes, I hadn't been able to do what Mrs. Palmer had asked. But it had been a very difficult task. And this was the first time I'd tried to use my powers on purpose. So no, it wasn't a complete loss.

  That evening on my way back to the dorms, I played with the sparks on my fingertips. With a little practice, I was able to zap some bugs like one of those insect zappers with the blue light. I had so much fun with my powers I nearly walked past my dorm.

  When I opened the door to my bedroom, I heard Julian talking animatedly with Beth. The moment he saw me, his eyes lit up although he looked worried. We hadn’t parted on the best of terms last time.

  I cringed as I remembered how I’d shouted at him. I’d told him I couldn’t trust him. But honestly, he’d deserved it for going behind my back. And even though I’d forgiven him, I still wanted to hear him grovel. So I crossed my arms and waited.

  Beth threw one look at us, excused herself, and nearly ran out of the room, slamming the door behind her. Subtle she isn’t. Julian's expression was part apologetic, part obstinate. But he sounded genuinely upset when he spoke.

  "Look, I don't know… I didn't mean to…"

  I nearly felt sorry for him as he stuttered his way through his apology. But I wasn't going to give him an easy out. Julian stopped himself and started again. "I'm sorry I told the panel about your plan.”

  He took a deep breath and shook his head. “Actually, I’m not. I was so worried about you. There are security systems around the academy for a reason. They’re not here to keep us in, but to keep others out. We’ve all heard stories about students trying to climb over the gate at night and getting hurt. Not by the guards, but by people on the outside. I don't want to lose you, Amber."

  He stepped closer and put his hand on my arm. Sparks exploded, and he jumped back, shaking his hand. "Ouch. That hurt. You’re really static, you know that?"

  And that's when I realized I'd forgotten to pull my powers back. I grinned and held out my hand to show off the white fizzle along my fingers. This is awesome. I don't even have to concentrate anymore. I’m like a walking electric cattle fence. There wasn’t enough power to cause serious damage, but enough to deter people touching me against my will. No more worrying about pickpockets or guys getting over-friendly.

  Julian stared at my fingers still fizzing with tiny sparks of electricity. "Wow. I didn't know you could do that."

  I answered honestly. "Neither did I."

  "Can you turn it off?"

  “Sure.”

  Pulling my power and curling it back inside of me only took a second. It was becoming more automatic. More evidence I was gaining control rapidly.

  Julian stepped closer cautiously. "Is it off?"

  I nodded. He cupped my face with his palm. "I’m really, really sorry. Will you accept my apology?"

  His proximity made it hard for me to breathe. His eyes were directed at me like laser points. I felt exposed yet oddly safe. Julian stayed where he was, so it was up to me to make the next move. I took another step until I was chest to chest with him.

  Then I lifted my face in invitation and waited for him to put his lips on mine. It was just as incredible as last time. Being so close to him made my knees weak and my heartbeat increase. When he licked along the seam of my mouth, my lips parted.

  He tasted fresh, like a sip of water after a long drought. His tongue entered my mouth, and the slick movement made me forget where I was. His arms came around my back and pressed me tighter against him. He smelled of Christmas spice, like cinnamon and clove.

  I was completely enveloped, my body caught in the strength of his embrace, my mouth busy tasting him, and my arms around his neck, holding on for dear life. An ache grew inside my body that had nothing to do with my magic. I pushed even harder against him. He groaned quietly into my mouth, and I answered with a moan of my own.

  "Oh my God, get a room."

  I wanted to jump back, embarrassed about being caught, but Julian held tight.

  "Sharon. Never seen people kiss before?" I loved the snark in Julian's voice.

  Sharon snorted. "Kissing yes, but you guys look like you’re one second away from tearing each other's clothes off."

  Julian let go, and I stepped back. Taking one glance at him, I broke into giggles. If I looked anything like he did, I couldn’t blame Sharon for breaking it up.

  His usually pale cheeks were flushed, his hair tousled from my hand running through it. His lips were swollen, and his eyes gleamed with excitement. The urge to kiss him again was so strong, I was tempted to tell Sharon to get out and leave us to it.

  Julian gave me a calculating stare. “Wanna come for a walk?"

  I nodded vigorously. Giggling like little kids, we ran out into the square, holding hands. We had barely cleared the first classroom when Julian pushed me against the outside wall of the square hut.

  He kissed me again and again. I lost track of how long we were standing there. The sweet, longing ache between my legs took me by surprise. His body covered mine, and I could feel his erection pushed against my pelvis. Julian was clearly as aroused as I was.

  He took my hand and placed it on the fron
t of his jeans. Curious, I ran my fingers up and down his bulge, squeezing at the top. Julian gasped and stepped back. His voice was so rough I barely recognized it. "Stop. You’re killing me. I want you so badly. Have you ever done it before?"

  I shook my head. He smiled, his expression tender. Brushing a strand of hair out of my face, he said, "I haven't either. But I'd love to, with you. Not here, not now, but soon."

  I didn't say anything. I was so turned on, I wanted more, but I didn't know how to ask for it. It seemed like a huge step sharing my first time with Julian when we hadn’t even talked about what we were to each other. And what about Kiernan? How could I be attracted to two boys at the same time?

  "It's okay, you don't have to say anything."

  We walked back in silence, hand in hand. That night, I played with myself as quietly as I could. I imagined Julian's hands between my legs, and the ecstasy building in my body was exquisite. If I could make myself feel so good by myself, having sex with Julian would likely kill me. And then, in my imagination, there were two pairs of hands stroking my body. I came so hard, my back bowing and my head thrown back, I wouldn’t have been surprised if I’d woken my roommates.

  26

  The remaining days until the exams passed by in a flurry. As freshmen, we only had to focus on two classes. The PE exam was scheduled on Monday morning.

  After we’d all entered the gym hall, Castle had us line up. “I’m going to grade you on your defensive moves.”

  Then he proceeded to throw an elemental attack at each individual, trying to catch us out. When he drenched a girl with icy water and reduced her to tear, Luke murmured, “Man, that guy is a douche.”