Eliza

by Barry Pain

  So next day I bought a new glass myself in the city, and brought itback with me. But apparently Eliza had changed her mind, for a newglass had already been fitted in, and it was hanging in thedining-room, just where it had been before.

  As a reward to Eliza I took it down and put it up in the drawing-room.She smiled in a curious sort of way that I did not quite like. But Ithought it best to say nothing more about it.

  THE PAGRAMS

  Properly speaking, we had quarrelled with the Pagrams.

  We both lived in the same street, and Pagram is in the same office asmyself. For some time we were on terms. Then one night they looked into borrow--well, I forget now precisely what it was, but they looked into borrow something. A month afterward, as they had not returned it, wesent round to ask. Mrs. Pagram replied that it had already beenreturned, and Pagram--this was the damning thing--told me at the officein so many words that they had never borrowed it. Now, I hate anythinglike deception. So does Eliza. For two years or more Eliza and Mrs.Pagram have met in the street without taking the least notice of eachother. I speak to Pagram in the office--being, as you might say, moreor less paid to speak to him. But outside we have nothing to do witheach other.

  * * * * *

  It was on Wednesday morning, I think, at breakfast, that Eliza said:

  "I've just heard from Jane, who had it from the milkman--Mrs. Pagramhad a baby born last night."

  "Well, that," I observed, "is of no earthly interest to us."

  "Of course it isn't. I only just mentioned it."

  "Is it a boy or girl?"

  "A girl. I only hope she will bring it up to speak the truth."

  I replied that she might hope what we did not expect. So far Eliza hadtaken just exactly the tone that I wanted. But as I watched her, I sawher expression change and her underlip pulled down on one side, as itwere.

  "Well," I said rather sharply, "what is it? These people are nothing tous."

  "No. But--it reminded me--our little girl--my baby--that died. And I----"

  Here she put down her knife and fork, got up, and walked to the window.There she stood, with her back to me.

  I had a mind to speak to her about the foolishness of recalling whatmust be very upsetting to her. But I said nothing, and began to brushmy silk hat briskly. It was about time that I was starting for thecity.

  I went out.

  Then I came back, kissed Eliza, and went out again.

  * * * * *

  I was a little surprised to find Pagram at the office.

  "I should have thought you'd have taken a day off," I said.

  "Can't afford that just now," he replied, in rather a surly way.

  "All well at home?"

  "No."

  "By my watch," I said, "that office clock's five minutes slow. What doyou make it?"

  "Don't know. Left my watch at home."

  I had noticed that he was not wearing his watch. Later in the day I hadsome more conversation with him. He is quite my subordinate at theoffice, and I really don't know why I should have taken so much noticeof him.

  * * * * *

  When I came back that night I was in two minds whether to tell Eliza ornot. She hates anything like extravagance, and if I told her I feltsure she would be displeased. At the same time, if I did not tell her,and she found it out afterward, she would be still more displeased.However, I decided to say nothing about it. I was a little nervous onthe point, and I own that my conscience reproached me.

  As I came into the hall, Eliza came down the staircase. She was dressedfor going out, and had a basket in her hand. She said: "I want you tolet me go over to the Pagrams to see if I can do anything. She and thebaby are both very ill,--the nurse has had no sleep,--they've no oneelse to help them. And--and I'm going!"

  "Now, do you think this is necessary, Eliza?" I began. "When you cometo consider the position we've taken up with regard to the Pagrams fortwo years, and the scandalous way in which they----"

  Here I stopped. The hall door was shut, and Eliza had gone, and it wasnot worth while to continue.

  "Now," I thought to myself, "it's ten to one that Eliza finds me out,and if she does, she'll probably make herself unpleasant." However, Idetermined not to trouble myself about it. If it came to that, Iflattered myself that I could make myself as unpleasant as most peoplewhen any occasion arose.

  * * * * *

  It was hours before Eliza returned. She burst into the room and said,"They're both better, and the baby's a beauty, and I'm to go backto-morrow afternoon."

  "Indeed!" I said. "I don't know that you're not going a little too farwith these people."

  "Do you think so? I've found you out. You didn't tell me, but Pagramdid. You lent him three pounds this morning. We can't afford that."

  "Well, well," I said; "I've managed to get some overtime work, to beginnext week. That--that'll come out all right. You ought to leave thesebusiness matters to me. Anyhow, it's no good finding fault, and----"

  "Does Pagram generally return what's lent?"

  I lost my temper and said that I didn't care a damn! And then--justthen--I saw that she was not really displeased about it.

  "Why," she said, "you silly! I'm glad you did it. The poor things wereat their wits' end, and had got--they'd got nothing! You've saved them,and I never have liked anything you've done half as much as this."

  Here Eliza burst into tears--which is really very unusual with her.

  PROMOTION

  How true it is, as one of our English poets has remarked, that it isalways darkest before the silver lining!

  While this little work was actually in the hands of the printers, anincident occurred of such great and far-reaching importance that Icannot refrain from making it the subject of an additional paper. I cangive it in one word--promotion.

  It came at a time when I was suffering from great depression andconsiderable irritation, as I have already indicated in my openingremark. It was on a Wednesday morning, and those who know me know thatinvariably on Sunday, Wednesday, and Friday I put on a clean shirt. Thenumber may seem excessive, and perhaps out of proportion to my income,but I own without shame that I am careful as to my personal appearance.I must also add that I am very particularly careful--and, I think,rightly--on the question of the airing of linen.

  All I said was that I should put on that shirt, whether Eliza liked itor not, and that it would probably give me my death; but that it didnot matter, and perhaps the sooner it was all over the better. Therewere circumstances under which life was hardly worth living, and whenone's express injunctions were continually disregarded, one began todespair.

  Eliza spoke quite snappishly, and said that my linen was alwaysproperly aired, and that I was too fussy.

  I replied, without losing my temper, that there was airing and airing.Even now I cannot think that Eliza was either just or accurate.

  * * * * *

  At breakfast-time one or two other little circumstances occurred to putme out. A teacup which is filled so full that it overflows into thesaucer is a perfect thorn in the flesh to me. So is bacon which isburnt to a cinder. I hardly did more than mention it, but Eliza seemedput out; she said I did nothing but find fault, and as for the bacon, Ihad better go into the kitchen and find fault with the girl, for it wasthe girl who had cooked it.

  "On the contrary," I said, "in ninety-nine cases out of a hundred whena servant does wrong it is her mistress who deserves the censure."

  "Go it!" said Eliza, an expression which I do not think to be quiteladylike. "And if a hansom-cab runs over you in Oxford Street, you goand get the damages out of the Shah of Persia. That's the line totake."

  This answer exasperated me by its silliness, and I had quite made up mymind not to say another word of any kind during breakfast. Indeed, butfor the fact that I had not quite finished my bac
on and that I hatewaste, I should have got up and walked out of the room there and then.

  A little later I happened to look up, and it struck me from Eliza'sface that she might be going to cry. I therefore made a point of sayingthat the butter was better than we had been having lately, and that itlooked like being a fine day after all. Anything like weakness isrepellent to me, but still, when one sees that one's words have gonehome, one is justified in not pressing the matter further.

  Still, I am prepared to own that I started for the city in but lowspirits, and with no inclination to join in the frivolous conversationthat was going on in the railway carriage. On arriving at the office Iwas surprised to find that Figgis, our head clerk, was not there. Hegave me the tonic port, and was inclined to be dictatorial, but I mustconfess that he was always a most punctual man. I was very muchsurprised.

  * * * * *

  Our senior partner, Mr. Bagshaw, came much earlier than usual,--10.30,to be precise,--and sent for me at once. He is a big, fat man; hespeaks in short sentences, and breathes hard in between them. At themoment of entering his room I was as certain that I was about to besacked as I have ever been of anything that I did not really know. Iwas wrong.

  He made me sit down, glared at me, and began:

  "Yesterday evening we detained Mr. Figgis for a few minutes. At the endof our interview with him he left this office for ever, never toreturn--never!"

  I said that I was very much astonished.

  "We weren't. We've known there was a leakage. People knew what we weredoing--people who oughtn't to know. He sold information. We put ondetectives. They proved it. See?"

  I said that I saw.

  "So you've got Figgis's place for the future. See?"

  At that moment you might have knocked me down with a feather; it was soabsolutely unexpected. Give me time, and I think I can provide a fewwell-chosen words suitable to the occasion as well as any man. But nowI could think of nothing to say but "Thank you."

  He went on to explain that this would mean an immediate rise of L75,and a prospective rise of a further L75 at the end of a year if my workwas satisfactory. He said that I had not Figgis's abilities, of course,but that a very close eye had been kept on me lately, and I had shownmyself to be honest, methodical, and careful in details. It was alsobelieved that I should realize the importance of a responsible andconfidential position, and that I should keep the men under me up tothe mark.

  The rest of our conversation was concerned with my new duties, and atthe close of it he handed me Figgis's keys--my own name and the officeaddress had been already put on the label.

  I should not be fair to myself if I did not make some reference to Mr.Bagshaw's comparison of Figgis's abilities and my own. I will merelystate the fact that on more than one occasion Figgis has gained successor avoided failure from suggestions made to him by myself. That he didnot give me the credit for this with the firm is precisely what Ishould have expected from a man of that character. However, I have myopportunity now, and the firm will see.

  * * * * *

  When I returned to the clerks' office I found one of the juniorsplaying the fool.

  "I wish you'd stop that, please," I said, "and get on with your work."

  "Who gave you the right to give orders here?" he asked me, rudely.

  Fortunately, that was what I had expected he would say, and therefore Ihad my answer ready:

  "Mr. Bagshaw did, three minutes ago, when he made me head of thisdepartment in place of Mr. Figgis."

  And without another word I went calmly to Mr. Figgis's desk andunlocked it. The effect was remarkable, and gave me great pleasure.During the luncheon hour I received several congratulations, and waspressed to partake of liquor. But I had long ago made up my mind thatif the firm ever did place me in a good and responsible position, Iwould give up alcohol during business hours altogether. I carried outthat resolution, and shall continue to do so; Figgis, with all hisso-called abilities, was frequently drowsy in the afternoon. Apart fromthat, I hope I was not wanting in geniality. I snatched a few momentsto telegraph to Eliza: "Meet train to-night. Very good news for you."

  On my way to the station I purchased a small bottle of champagne,--itcost half a crown, but the price for this wine is always pretty stiff.I also took back with me in my bag a tinned tongue and some pears.

  Eliza was waiting for me, and was obviously excited. She had guessedwhat had happened.

  "Got Figgis's berth?" she said.

  "Yes. Let's get off the platform as soon as we can. Everybody's lookingat us."

  We walked home very quickly, Eliza asking questions all the way, andlooking, as I noticed, quite five years younger. After what I have saidas to my purchases, I need not add that supper that night was a perfectbanquet.

  We had a long discussion as to our future, and did not get to bed untilpast eleven. I was at first in favour of taking a rather better house,but Eliza thought we should do more wisely to spread the money overmaking ourselves more comfortable generally. When she came to go intoit in detail, I found that on the whole hers was the preferable course.New curtains for the drawing-room are to be put in hand at once. Thecharwoman is to come regularly once a week. We raised the girl's wagesa pound, and she went into hysterics. Eliza has insisted that I am tohave a first-class season-ticket in future. There is much can be donewith L75.

  On the whole, about the happiest evening of my life.

  THE END.