Shifted Scars: A Wolves of Forest Grove Novel

by Lawson, Elena

  “I can promise you that as soon as I know something concrete, you will be the first to know.”

  She opened her mouth, and I could see the fire of a coming argument in her eye and stood, shaking my head once, sharp. “Don’t say anything to anyone. Not yet. This stays between us. I should know more in a day or two and then, if I’m right, we might know exactly where Destiny is.”

  Her eyes went wide at that and some color returned to her cheeks. “Okay,” she said simply, the complete opposite of what I was sure she wanted to say, and it just made me love her even more. When push came to shove, Vivian knew that I would do everything within my power to get her mate back. That there was very little I wouldn’t sacrifice to do it.

  “Okay,” I repeated then gestured to her bed. “Get some rest. I’ll have someone bring you in some venison when it’s ready.”

  “And wake me up when it’s time to leave?” she added, and I could tell by the hard set of her stare that she wouldn’t even dare try to sleep unless I promised her.

  “Yes. I will.”

  She nodded solemnly to herself, and I watched as she pulled herself back up onto her bed and took a long drink out of a bottle of water before lying down. I shut the curtains and grabbed the stinking trash bin from the floor before closing the door behind me and sighing. I set the bin down outside and took a moment to compose myself before heading back across camp.

  I sensed their eyes on me as I passed. From the windows of the cabins. From the footpaths, their footfalls pausing, not daring to come near as I wandered on numb legs through the zigzagging pathways.

  The guilt gnawed at me. I didn’t have to be in my wolf form to know what they were thinking. They blamed me for what was happening. They wondered why I hadn’t found our missing kin yet. Why I wasn’t doing more.

  My fault.

  All of it was my fault.

  How could I have let this happen?

  I startled as someone appeared at my side and broke free of the dark thoughts swirling within at the sight of silvery hair pulled into a loose braid. The lightest of the strands reflecting the sunlight. Hazel hobbled along next to me, a sour look on her face as she bared her teeth at a trio of shifters near the fire ring who all ceased their conversation to stare openly as we passed.

  “Little heathens,” she muttered. “Don’t pay them any mind.”

  She patted my elbow and glanced up at me with her blind eyes. “You’re doing great, child,” she said. “You’ll find them all. I know you will.”

  I smirked coldly at her, wishing I could be as confident in myself as she seemed to be. “Thanks, Grams.”

  “You go rest now. Seth and I are whipping up a nice venison bourguignon. I’ll be sure to put extra wine in it. Everything tastes better with booze in it.”

  A small laugh escaped my lips at that, and she clapped me on the ass, sending me off toward the cabin. “There you go. You’ll be right as rain after some rest and food. Get some nookie, too, while you’re in there. I’m still waiting on those grandbabies.”

  I flushed scarlet, wishing she could see the glare I shot her way before traipsing up the stairs and inside. Jared and Clay were sitting at the kitchen island, the pair of them sending me knowing looks that told me they’d heard everything Grams had just said.

  “Grandbabies, eh?” Jared asked, a brow raised as he peeled a label off of his beer bottle. “How long has she been pushing you for pups?”

  I rolled my eyes. “Awhile.”

  “Fucking terrifying,” Clay grumbled, shuddering as he took a swig of his beer, earning himself a hard elbow from Jared.

  “She’s right, you know,” Jared said, ditching his empty bottle in the sink to come around the counter.

  My brows knotted.

  “About having kids?” I asked, incredulous and a little terrified myself now. I was not ready for that.

  He snorted. “No. About you needing rest. You’ve hardly slept at all in over a week, Allie. And I’m assuming you and Clay are going out to Glenwood again tonight?”

  Clay and I shared a look that told Jared all he needed to know. We’d been out there the last three nights in a row, and we were definitely going to be there again tonight. Sam had only come back to the phone booth again once since three days ago, but right about now Clay’s guy was at the Glenwood bus depot, bugging the place. There was no way we weren’t going to be there.

  The guy set it up so that we could listen in to the bug through an app on Clay’s phone, but it only worked if we were within range of the signal. We wouldn’t have to go quite so close this time. We could stay a few miles away in the Chevelle, lessening the chance of her catching our scent even more.

  At least it would be more comfortable.

  “The booth is being bugged right now,” Clay confirmed in a low voice, ears pricked to make sure no one else was around to hear. “We’ll be parking a few miles out from the depot to listen in.”

  Jared nodded. “Then now is your only chance to get some rest.”

  I tried to picture myself actually closing my eyes. Lying still.

  Couldn’t.

  “I really don’t think I can.”

  “Try,” Clay urged, and Jared nodded his agreement.

  I squinted at Clay, a muscle ticking in my jaw. “You’ve barely slept, either,” I accused him.

  “And you,” I jabbed a finger in Jared’s direction, “are taking the night shift on security at the quarry tonight.”

  I crossed my arms over my chest. “You want me to rest? Then you can both take a fucking nap, too.”

  They shared a look, expressions hardening.

  Clay’s nostrils flared. “Fine,” he gritted out.

  “You’re right,” Jared added.

  Wait...that wasn’t supposed to happen. They were supposed to let me get out of taking a stupid ass nap because they were both too stubborn to take one themselves.

  Jared grinned like a cat, realizing my intention and how they’d just thwarted it. The fucker.

  “I’ll go to Seth’s cabin,” Clay muttered, tipping his head to one side to crack his neck before making for the door.

  “No,” I said on a whim, stepping in his path. “I need you.”

  He cocked his head at me.

  “I need both of you if I’m going to be able to sleep. Stay. Please?”

  His bright blue eyes flicked over my head to Jared before settling back on me. “Okay, baby. If that’s what you need.”

  “It is.”

  The tension in the room grew, but nothing could subdue the high tingling in my blood at the idea of sharing our bed together. The three of us.

  Just knowing they were both there with me. Both safe. All of us, together. It was what I’d been lacking for a long time.

  I poured a glass of water before following Jared upstairs, dragging Clay with me by his arm.

  Jared had just finished hanging the blackout curtains on the windows and turned on the lamp to the low setting while I undressed to get into bed.

  “Aren’t you going to, like…?” Clay rubbed his knuckles over the back of his head, eyeing my naked body like a hungry predator. “Put on some pajamas or something?”

  I cocked my head at him, confused. I never wore clothes to sleep. Why bother when we were all naked most of the time around here, anyway? “Um. No. But you can if you want to.”

  He cleared his throat as I climbed into the middle of the bed and lifted the sheet to cover most of my body, leaving my breasts exposed, maybe kind of sort of on purpose.

  Jared was the first to slide into bed with me, fully clothed to my utter dismay.

  Clay, seeming to agree to some unspoken bullshittery between them, also lay down without bothering to remove his dark wash denim jeans. Without even bothering to get beneath the sheet.

  Really?

  Judging by the lustful emotions in the undertow beneath his waves of discomfort and macho need to claim me as his and only his, I’d say that he didn’t get beneath the sheet because he didn’t trust h
imself.

  Jared pressed his leg against mine, and his hand came to rest on my stomach as he turned onto his side, making me shudder. I bit down on my lip to control the sudden overwhelming need to be closer to them.

  Maybe Grams was right. I could use some...nookie.

  I ran a hand down Clay’s arm, making the latent muscle tense and bulge as goosebumps rose over the trail where I’d touched him. I tugged gently on his arm, guiding him closer. He obliged, shuffling nearer on the bed so that both of my mates pressed in close to either side of me.

  Nothing beat this.

  Having them both this close settled my soul in a way that nothing else could. I sighed breathily, nuzzling against Clay’s shoulder and twining my fingers with Jared’s beneath the sheet. Their combined scents of cedar, birch, whiskey, and spice washed over me like a drug, dulling the sharpness of the stress I’d been shouldering for weeks. Making everything seem softer. Easier. Until, for just a moment, I was able to forget it all and just be here.

  I pushed Jared’s hand lower on my belly, until his knuckles brushed the sensitive inner corner of my thigh. As I did that, I snaked my hand around Clay’s neck, pulling him around. He turned with only a little hesitation, meeting my drugged gaze with pure blue flame.

  My lips parted, and with one more tug, he bent to my will, bending as he turned to press his lips to mine. A soft moan was smothered between our lips as Jared’s hand brushed my hot core, sending flashes of intense pleasure coursing through my blood.

  A growl reverberated in Clay’s chest, and his and Jared’s testosterone levels spiked, breaking down the wall I’d tried to erect against their feelings.

  Clay pulled back and Jared’s hand slipped from mine, making my thighs press together with the loss of his touch. A pained sound came from the back of my throat as I squeezed my eyes tightly shut and pressed my forehead to Clay’s.

  “Please,” I murmured, searching beneath the sheet for Jared’s hand again. When I found it, I re-twined my finger with his and squeezed.

  “Please,” I repeated more clearly this time in case they didn’t hear. “I need you. I need both of you.”

  “Allie...” Jared trailed off in a hollow whisper that threatened to break me from the inside out. “You know we can’t do that. We tried before and—”

  “It’s been years,” I all but snapped, trying to rein in my inner wolf’s urge to jump down both their throats at the gall of denying her. “Try again.”

  I peered up at Clay, finding him staring off into the dimness of the room, a furrow in his brow. “Clay?” I asked, living on a hopeless prayer that he would take my side on this and together we might sway Jared.

  His gaze hardened, and I knew before he opened his lips to speak what his reply would be. I suppressed the ridiculous urge to cry, and he surprised me by wrapping an arm around the back of my neck and pulling me into his side. He nodded to Jared, who came closer until he was pressed along the line of my back, his arm around me, tucked up between my breasts to hold me tight.

  I shuddered, glancing up at Clay curiously.

  “Can this be enough for now?” he asked with a pain in his eyes that broke my heart. I stopped trying to block out their feelings and gasped at the rawness of it all as it came crashing in.

  Even this—just being this close with me—together was incredibly difficult for them. Guilt twisted my lungs up in a vise, and I bowed my head, unable to look him in the eyes anymore.

  “Don’t feel guilty,” Jared whispered against my bare back, his warm breath skating down my spine in a way that made me shiver. “This is on us. I...I wish we could give you what you want, Allie. I really do.”

  “But we’ll try,” Clay gritted out, making both Jared and me stiffen. “It’ll just take some time.”

  Jared didn’t make any comment to the contrary, and it was as much of an agreement as I would get out of him. Between the two, strangely enough, Jared was the more possessive. The one who was more territorial.

  In the beginning, I would’ve thought it to have been Clay, but that was until I got to know him better. He didn’t think he deserved me. Didn’t think he was good enough. He wanted me to be with someone kinder, more patient, less hot-headed. So, when I told him I did want him and that I wouldn’t take no for an answer, he was just glad to have any part of me he could.

  I could tell, even after almost four years, he still felt the same way.

  Stupid fucker.

  “I love you,” I whispered.

  “Us too,” Jared replied while Clay shoved my head down into the crook of his arm and brushed my hair back from my face, sighing.

  “Close your eyes,” Clay demanded. “You’re supposed to be resting, not making us horny as fuck. Don’t make me smother you with a pillow.”

  I let out a short laugh, convincing myself that Clay was right. This was enough. At least for now. But I wouldn’t forget his promise to try for more. It was more than I’d dared hope for in longer than I could remember.

  16

  “You sure you know how to work that?” I asked for the third time since we parked.

  Clay fiddled with the app on his phone that should allow us to hear inside of the phone booth. We were hoping it would allow us to hear both ends of the conversation, given our very heightened sense of hearing, but the guy who installed it said it was unlikely.

  He jammed a few more buttons and got another error screen. I rolled my eyes and took the phone from him. “Let me see.”

  He relinquished it with a frustrated sigh and leaned back in the passenger seat, glaring at me.

  “If I can’t figure it out, then you—”

  “Done,” I announced, passing the phone back to him with the correct screen within the app open. It showed that the device was recording, and we could even hear the wind and the slight rattle of the phone booth doors.

  “How did you...never mind.”

  “You’re welcome.”

  I cozied up in my seat with the blanket I brought, peering out the windshield at what I could see of the starry night sky through the fingers of the tall pines reaching high above.

  We found a side road to park on, tucking the Chevelle in a small drive that looked like it’d been months if not years since anyone had used it. It kept us hidden from any road traffic and boxed in with closely clustered pines and shrubbery.

  I rolled the window down a little, letting a bit of cool night air in to try to clear the quickly fogging windows.

  “Think she’ll go tonight?” I asked after a few minutes listening to the drone of the wind through the app on Clay’s phone.

  His lips pressed together into a tight line to match the ones carved deep into his forehead. “Guess we’ll just have to wait to find out.”

  If the last several nights were any indication, there was likely about a fifty-fifty chance she would show. She didn’t come every night from what we saw, but she also didn’t seem to miss more than a night or two at a time. She missed yesterday, so we hoped that meant she would be here tonight.

  As much as I loved snuggling up in my Chevelle, with her leather seats hugged around my curves and her old car smell settling my nerves, this wasn’t exactly my idea of a chill time with my mate.

  Getting a wicked idea, I licked my lips and slid my hand over the center console, walking my fingers over his muscled thigh toward the fly of his jeans.

  He caught my hand before I could undo the button, cocking his head at me, a question in his stare.

  “She usually doesn’t come until after midnight,” I whispered into the shadows between us, wanting to ease some of the tension from his soul, and maybe some of my own as well. It was only eleven. We had time.

  For a moment, I thought he might reject me again, like he had with Jared earlier before we’d all fallen asleep in the afternoon, but…he released my hand, groaning appreciatively as I let it glide over his growing length through his jeans.

  “We need to stay focused,” he breathed as his button popped and his fly slid down.
He wasn’t fighting me though, so I knew I’d already won.

  “Fine,” I said with a sly grin. “Then you keep an eye on that,” I nodded to the phone clenched tightly in his mammoth hand. “And I’ll keep my attention…elsewhere.”

  “Baby,” he groaned, but his words cut short on a growl as I freed his cock from his jeans and stroked its length.

  I hushed him as I leaned over, positioning myself to take him into my mouth. His hand on the phone loosened, falling, and I tsked him, nudging it back up into his view. “Focus,” I teased.

  His head fell back as I closed my lips over his tip, suckling lightly in that spot I knew drove him wild before taking him all the way in.

  “Fuck,” he hissed, and his free hand came to rest on the back of my head, fingers twisting into my hair. He pushed up into my mouth, hips bucking as he found the back of my throat and shuddered.

  He was too big to take all the way in so I slid my hand around his base, stroking up and down slowly at first, but picking up speed as I bobbed my head in time with the thrusts of his hips as he fucked my mouth.

  His pleasure was my own as his ecstasy passed through the mate bond, making my core tighten as his did. I moaned against his cock, jerking when his hand slid out from my hair to reach beneath my crouched form, finding the waistband of my joggers and slipping beneath.

  His fingers flicked aside my panties, finding me already slick as he rubbed the rough pads of his fingers over my clit, making my body come alive with sensation.

  “That’s it, baby,” he whispered, circling the sensitive bundle of nerves quicker. His expert touch driving to the edge of my own release just as surely as our shared pleasure through the bond.

  He thrust into my mouth harder, and I worked to pump the base of his cock with wild abandon until I felt him harden to bursting under my tongue.

  “Allie,” he moaned as he found his release, and I came with him, crying out against the girth of his cock as I came hard on his fingers. His warmth slid down my throat, and he jerked beneath me.

  I licked his crown wickedly, drawing another shuddering groan from his lips as I came up for air. Before I could pull away, his fist found the front of my t-shirt and he yanked me up to his mouth, crushing his lips against mine.