Redemption

by Shey Stahl

  Tallan leaned back into the wall, her arms crossed over her chest as she once again scanned the room. “Shit.” And then she narrowed in on the women in the corner, waiting for their chance to come over and talk to me. “Vegas will be worse, huh?”

  I scrunched my nose playfully and pushed away from the wall and held my hands up in a fighting stance. “Yep. So you better be ready to defend your man.”

  Tallan winked with a sense of confidence I knew her for and her entire demeanor shifted from the nervousness she had displayed, to working me. “You better believe I’ll defend him.” And then she moved into her own stance and tapped my jaw with her hand. “The champ taught me a few moves.”

  She moved past me and walked away. I wanted to yell something at her, but refrained since Adam was scowling at me, shaking his head.

  Keep your mouth shut.

  “Suffer now and live the rest of your life as a champion.”

  1 WEEK BEFORE FIGHT

  We were set to leave for Vegas tomorrow where we would be for a week. On Monday, I was at the point where even so much as carrying on a conversation about anything was impossible for me. Didn’t matter with who either. My mind was elsewhere, constantly.

  Months had led up to this and I knew at some point my mind would shut down and focus on one thing. The fight. Now was that time.

  Inside my bedroom, I was packing as Tallan asked me about my dad and his fighting for her book. She told me she was over half-way finished with it and I’d read pieces of what she wrote so far. It was good, but my mind wasn’t there tonight and Tallan sensed it.

  “Are you upset with me?” she asked, staring out the window, her hand fidgeting with the laptop on her lap.

  “No.” I didn’t look up from folding my shirts on the bed.

  “Are you mad that I’m asking you all these questions?”

  “No, I’m not.” I became defensive immediately and tossed two shirts in my bag. “Why do you have to question it all the time? I’m fine. Ask me what you want. I told you I’d help and I meant it.”

  Tallan blew off my harshness, as she usually did. “Did they say if your dad could come with us?”

  A few weeks back, I asked the nurses at Stratford if my dad could attend the fight. He was so excited when I asked him that I couldn’t ever remember seeing that much enthusiasm on his face since he fought himself. Not even when I became the heavyweight champion of the world, a title he held for ten years prior to the World Boxing Organization suspending his boxing license.

  At first his doctors and nurses refused the idea; they said it was out of the question and he couldn’t travel. And then I reminded them he was under no obligation to stay at Stratford. I could take him out of there if I wanted.

  Some might have thought it was selfish of me to want him there with me. The thing was, they couldn’t give me a direct reason as to why he couldn’t go. So, I arranged for him, and his favorite nurse, Kathy, to go with us to Vegas.

  I handed Tallan my dad’s plane ticket, smiling. “They said he could go. I’m taking Kathy too, just in case.”

  “That’s great!” Tallan hugged me, and then drew back and touched the side of my face. She saw right through me then, my intentions clearer than the day. “Destry, are you wanting him at the fight because you hope him seeing you fight will spark a memory of you?”

  “I’m not sure.” The answer was truthful. I wasn’t sure. All I knew was I wanted him there. He wasn’t at the fight at the Garden when I lost to Lucas the first time. Maybe that was why I wanted him there. I didn’t know.

  As I continued to pack my bag, Tallan sat on the foot of the bed wearing one of my old T-shirts. Her first mistake. I wished she’d put the damn sweatpants back on. Her second, her hair was up in a bun and her neck, the pretty little arched neck was begging for my lips and mouth.

  My emotions were all over the place, which was why with one week until the fight, I desperately wanted sex. My self-control was fraying as Tallan sat beside me, her finger running over my abs underneath my shirt.

  “Something’s bothering you,” Tallan stated, watching me carefully with pursed lips.

  “Something is bothering me.” I chuckled, making light of my fucked-up mood and zipping my bag shut. “I’m fucking horny as hell and you’re running around here in one of my old T-shirts, taunting me.”

  You know it’s more than that, asshole. But okay, blow it off as needing sex. There was more to it than that, but we’d be here all night if we got into what was really bothering me.

  Tallan looked down at the shirt, bunching up the sides to reveal her thighs. I wanted to call her a tease for doing that, but I didn’t because of the smile on her face. She knew that was a low blow.

  I did my best to offer an easy smile at her, but it came off as a grimace for sure. Wanting to walk away into the other room, I didn’t. I tackled her playfully on the bed.

  She huffed out a breath, searching my eyes for the real reason I was acting this way. Deep down, she knew it was the fight and how I was feeling: nervous.

  Don’t say anything. Don’t make me talk about it.

  “Destry, we can’t,” she pleaded, but there was a smile playing at her lips like she was testing me to see what I would say. “You have to save your strength.”

  I wasn’t giving her a moment to think about it or remind me of the obvious reasons as to why we shouldn’t have sex. Instead, I climbed on top of her, grinding my straining erection into her center. “That’s dumb. Can’t I indulge every once in a while?” The sensations shot through my body, an all-body tingle that left me writhing against her for a moment.

  Lost in the moment, too, she squirmed underneath me, panting and grasping my shoulders. She wanted it as badly as I did.

  I wonder if she’s used the vibrator lately?

  Ask her.

  No. Don’t! Break that fucking thing so she can’t.

  Tallan gripped my shoulders tighter, pushing back. “Stop. You’ll be weak and sated. You need to be strong and wound up.”

  I dropped my head, burying my face in her neck knowing Adam got to her. He probably fed her all kinds of bullshit lies to remind me of when I tried to get her in bed. “Stop talking to Adam.”

  Her mouth parted, her cheeks reddened but she kept it at, her face turning to press her lips to my cheek. “It will also weaken your legs.”

  I snorted against her skin. “That’s a myth.” My mouth worked on her neck, biting and sucking. “Stop talking.”

  She didn’t and kept it up. “And your anger. If you resist, you can use it to your advantage.”

  I flopped myself back on the mattress, growling and bringing my hands up to cover my face. “Unless you want me to kick you out of this bed, shut up. You’re making it worse.”

  She laughed at my discomfort.

  Why is this funny to her?

  My problem was, I still couldn’t control my erection or the thoughts of Tallan riding me, or every other position we hadn’t been in recently.

  “Is it really driving you crazy that we can’t have sex?” she asked after a moment.

  I groaned. Fuck yes, it did. “Tallan.” I paused, swallowing over the croaky sound of my voice. It was straining about as much as my body, desperate for relief. “You have no idea how badly I want this fight over with so I can spend time with you.”

  “I know.” Her lips, so tender, so soft, touched mine, once, twice and then she all but shoved me away. Her palm smashed into my face pushing me away. “I’m going to be so much better than a trophy after the fight.”

  Raising up on my elbows, I smirked as I watched her pull a pair of sweatpants on. “They don’t give out trophies.”

  Tallan halted her movements, her hand on her hip dramatically. “What do they give you for winning?”

  “A belt.”

  “That’s weird.” She approached me again, standing between my legs at the edge of the bed, her hands on my thighs now as she bent forward. “Why a belt?”

  “It’s what they’ve
always given. Why does racing have trophies or hockey have a cup? Tradition I assume.”

  Tallan processed that and then straightened her body and stepped back. “So, when a fighter loses his championship belt,” my gut twisted with her words knowing I no longer held a title, “do you have to give the belt back?”

  Swallowing over the lump in my throat, I thought about that night in my dressing room when I lost, and I stared at that fucking belt for an hour. “No, once you’ve won a title, the belt is yours to keep. They make a new one for the winner. You’re just stripped of the title.”

  Tallan knew when and the exact moment the conversation twisted and she’d lost me to my thoughts. Something that started as teasing had turned on me. Standing, I lightly kissed her cheek and retreated to the bathroom where I stood in front of the mirror.

  Was I ready for this?

  I knew without a doubt I’d be leaving Vegas with that belt again. I knew it in my heart but it didn’t stop my mind from reeling and the thoughts of how I lost it in the first place from surfacing.

  “Suffer now and live the rest of your life as a champion.”

  Was that statement entirely true?

  The most important fight on a card.

  If I wasn’t prepared now, I never would be.

  With less than a week to go, I knew I was.

  Mentally.

  Physically.

  Emotionally.

  I was in my zone, headphones on, and focused, oblivious to everything and anyone around me.

  Visualize the fight in your head. You’re going to win and you’re going to fight your fight.

  The drive to the airport was stressful. Not only was I not the nicest person this close to a fight, but I seemed to be over the top and snapping at everyone. Hence the reason for the headphones. It kept me from hearing what anyone was saying in fear they’d set me off.

  I was even snapping at Tallan.

  I kept telling myself, don’t do that. She’ll leave you.

  But Tallan was very different from Stella, and the past few months proved that.

  For so long and for much of my life, I fought for control, fought to suppress my feelings, depression and avoided being vulnerable around others. But now, some way I’d let go of that with Tallan. After all, she was the only one who had ever seen me cry.

  I knew right away Tallan understood who I was behind my cold vacant stare from when we first met. In many ways, after Stella, I was sad and lonely, wanting nothing more than to turn off my emotions.

  And I did.

  Tallan helped me turn that around.

  We picked up my dad in Bellevue with the intention of heading south to the airport with Jared and Catie, who were in the back of the van. The rest of my camp was set to meet us at the airport.

  Tallan drove the van, pulling around the front of the building to the doors where Kathy and my dad were waiting. As usual, he was dressed nicely in black slacks and a button-down gray shirt. Kathy stood behind him holding onto a wheelchair we decided to take with us because of his hip.

  Both of them looked up when they saw me approaching. Only I was focused on my dad. He clapped his hands together excitedly. “Boy, you’re here.”

  “Yeah, Pops.” I gave him a smile, reaching out to touch his shoulder when he stood. “Ready for Vegas?”

  “Most definitely.” His eyes brightened, so full of life for the first time in a while. “I haven’t been to Vegas since I fought Schwatzer. Boy went down with a jab in the fourth round.”

  How he remembered those details down to the actual hit he took them down with, but not me, his own blood, had me irritated.

  My breath sped, only to have Kathy reach for my hand when I helped dad in the van. “He hasn’t stopped talking about this for days.”

  It made me feel better, not a lot, but a little.

  Tallan twisted around once we were all in the van and smiled at my dad, “Good morning, James.”

  Reaching over his shoulder for his seatbelt, he winked at Tallan. “Morning, girl.”

  I nearly laughed. He’d named her girl.

  Tallan seemed pleased by it, turning back to lay her hands over the wheel as she mouthed the word “girl” to herself.

  We had pulled on the freeway and I had my earbuds in hand, ready to drown out my surroundings when I heard Jared ask my dad, “So tell me about your son, Destry?”

  Huffing out a breath, I twisted around in the seat to look at Jared, my eyes snapping to his.

  He knew by my stare I wasn’t pleased.

  “Oh.” Dad looked over at Jared, who now had his head resting against the seat. “My son… he’s the heavyweight champion of the world. I forget the title he holds, but it’s one of the four.”

  “Hmmm. Interesting,” Jared mused. “Any good stories about him as a child?”

  Of course, he’d fuckin’ ask something like that.

  Calmly, Tallan rested her hand on my forearm. “Ignore Jared. I do.”

  Had she not heard what he asked?

  Dad chuckled, attempting to recall one. I only wished my childhood was a part of his memory that faded. Only because I knew the memory he was going to share. The same one he always shared when someone asked what Destry Stone was like as a child.

  “He was such a good kid, never complained, always watched and listened.”

  Tallan quirked an eyebrow at me having heard what my dad said. “Who the hell is he talking about?”

  I stared out the window, rolling my eyes when she laughed. “Shut up.”

  “I would have never guessed that,” Jared noted. “Any embarrassing stories?”

  Just wait, Jared. Like I said, I knew exactly what he was going to share.

  Dad drew in a breath and you could literally hear the pride in every word he spoke when he talked about me. “From the time Destry was born, he was with me. The guys used to call him Stone’s Shadow. It stuck for a while, until he started throwin’ hooks with his left hand.” Dad chuckled, which made me smile as I messed with my headphones, ready to put on but waiting to hear this story once more. “We went fishing every Sunday morning. The little guy was probably about five when he was sittin’ over by a stream with minnows in it. I didn’t think much of it until I saw his britches were down around his ankles and his little willy was in the water. So, I went over there, asked what he was doin’ and he said, ‘I’m fishin’, Daddy.’ He was tryin’ to use his own pole to fish them there fishes.”

  I looked over at Tallan, who now had tears streaming down her face; she was laughing so hard. “Don’t you dare put that in your book.”

  Tallan’s eyes widened, but she said nothing.

  How could she? She was laughing too hard.

  WHEN WE WERE all on the plane, Jared started in. He was always the one to lighten the mood. With three people in each row, Adam was by the window, Tallan was in the middle and I was seated in the aisle seat. Across from us was Jared, Catie, and my manager Gordy. In front of us sat my dad and Kathy, along with other various members of my camp.

  “Did you know Destry Stone is on this flight?” Jared kept asking everyone, and I was sitting across from him. “I can’t wait to meet him.”

  Not this again.

  “Who’s Destry Stone?” a woman finally asked, curiously stopping in front of him. She was tall, slender and already flirting with him by the way she batted her eyelashes and smiled seductively down at him.

  Jared gave the passing flight attendant a laugh, like she was crazy for asking, but his face was completely serious. “He’s a professional boxer.”

  “Really?” She looked around, searching the passengers. “Is he big?”

  Jared quirked an eyebrow at her, his blue eyes shining bright despite it being six in the morning. I couldn’t understand how he was awake this early, but I guess being a police officer he was used to it. “He’s a heavyweight boxer, wouldn’t you think he would be big?”

  The woman appeared confused, her hand resting on the seat in front of Jared. “I guess so, but I�
�ve never met a boxer before.”

  You’re so full of shit. I know your jaw remembers me, asshole.

  Jared’s eyes darted to mine, and then back to the woman.

  Tallan nudged my ribs. “What is he talking about now?”

  “Oh, look.” Jared raised his voice and pointed right at me. “That’s him.”

  Asshole. I should have given him full force. “Nothing,” I told Tallan and I’d no sooner done that, and the flight attendant hovered over me, her hands resting on my seat.

  “Are you really a professional boxer? Isn’t there a huge fight in Vegas this weekend?”

  “Yeah.” I smiled, though I wasn’t in the mood for this. I wanted to be left alone. Maybe I shouldn’t have invited Jared. “I’m fighting.”

  “Holy crap, I know a celebrity!” She smiled, her white teeth standing out from her bright red lipstick. “You’re really big and muscular. Can I feel your arms?”

  This wasn’t the first time this happened to me, but it was the first time Tallan had witnessed it. I wanted to tell her she was going to see it a lot this week but didn’t.

  “Is she for fuckin’ real?” Tallan whispered, loud enough the flight attendant heard.

  Adam, on the other side of Tallan, began laughing. He was used to this sort of thing, having been with me at every professional fight so far.

  The flight attendant didn’t wait for my response and grasped my bicep. “Wow, you really are a heavyweight, aren’t you?”

  “Yes.”

  Tallan leaned over me to smack Jared, her ass basically up in the air to do so. “Shut the fuck up over there. Don’t tell people who he is.”

  Jared smiled and held up his hands in defense, but kept talking. “I sparred with him once.”

  “Did he knock you out?” the flight attendant asked.

  “Yes,” Tallan mumbled, never glancing up from her magazine now in hand. She wasn’t a morning person. “Can I get a drink?”

  The woman looked damn near offended she was asked to do her job.

  Leaning toward Tallan, I kissed her cheek. She flushed, cute, pink cheeks that made me want to hold her, wrap my arms around her and never let go.