Warrior of Adonai

by D A Rice

  I pulled out the grapple now, lashing the line onto a steady piece of metal before belaying down into the hole, being far gentler with my injuries this time. I hung about half way down, surveying the area.

  I saw the red shine of his eyes before I heard him, his voice guttural and low, “Zakiya?”

  I breathed a sigh in relief, “stay in the darkness, I am dropping down to you.” I tugged on the line and released, dropping with a soft whoosh. Strong arms caught me before I could hit the ground with a grunt as his skin began to smoke from the light that touched him. I met his gaze. “I said stay in the darkness.”

  “Z, look at you. Why are you here?” I could hear the pain in his voice as he let me down, setting my feet on the ground. He cringed away from me, back into the shadows, his eyes shining with a hint of red in his light brown as they met mine. I could tell he had grown, and my eyes shown with tears. It had started already. I reached out to touch him, but he shied away, terrified for me.

  “Isaac, I came for you,” I took a step forward as the words choked in my throat.

  He shook his head, taking another step back as he read me, read in my face what I refused to say out loud, “what have you done, Zakiya?”

  “I saved you,” I said softly.

  He stepped forward aggressively, taking two steps until he was before me, “you have damned me. Why did you not kill me when you saw me waking? Why did you hide me instead?” I could not answer him as I took him in. He was definitely taller, I could see his build changing as well, and were those horns starting to grow out of his soft hair? Damned indeed, but I still could not bear to lose him, could not bring myself to regret caving the floor around him instead of killing him. He watched me, his eyes softening. His hand came up to cup my face, still very human, but then he dropped it instead, taking a step back. “Kill me, Z.”

  I shook my head, “no.”

  Isaac growled low, “Z. You must.”

  Tears streaked down my cheeks, “I can’t, Abadi. I cannot kill you. I’ve lost too many already, I cannot lose you. You’re my heart.”

  His eyes narrowed, “your heart will heal. Zakiya, if you do not kill me, I will kill so many more.”

  I watched him, and he softened further, taking another step towards me. His eyes were pleading me to kill him and yet I could see how much it hurt him to ask this of me. I could tell that he wished it could be anyone but me. I reached out my hand and he did not back away from me this time. I touched his cheek, his skin not as soft as it once had been. He closed his eyes, leaning into my touch. My other hand tightened on my grappling gun. I took a step back from him, shooting my line out of the hole.

  His eyes snapped open, then narrowed in fury, “Zakiya!”

  “Stay here, Isaac. Stay here and stay safe. I will come for you again, but do not ask this of me. I cannot do it,” I tugged on the line and shot up out of the hole.

  I heard him hit metal below me in a rage, throwing things as he howled in agony, “Zakiya! Kill me, Zakiya!” I could hear him weeping and I looked up, refusing to let my own tears fall as I landed outside of the hole, falling to my side in a fetal position. I could hear him, could hear the agony in his voice as he called to me, pleaded with me, “kill me! Zakiya! Come back and END THIS! DO NOT LEAVE ME HERE! KILL ME!”

  His voice stayed with me as I finally stood and made my way out of the eastern section, scaling the wall and relaying down the other side. It stayed with me as I made my way back to the hospital. It stayed with me as Cofher helped me back into bed, without asking me about what had happened. I was Isaac’s go’el ha-dam, but I was also his jailkeeper. I rolled onto my side and wept.

  5

  That night was spent in a sleepless existence. I could not escape the nightmares that came with it. There was once, during the night, when the nurses came in like a torrent and promptly put something into my new IV. They never asked how the other one had come out.

  When I woke, it was mid-morning and I felt even more tired than I had the night before. I pushed myself up, pushing the button to lift the bed underneath me to meet my back. I glanced at the chair next to me. My mother met my eyes as she gazed up over the book, once again, in her hands. She lowered it but said nothing this time. I could feel a semblance of shame at how I had treated her before. I knew that it could not be easy watching me recover. This had only been the second time I had seen her in my hospital room, but I had a feeling she’d been in here plenty of times more. Perhaps during one of my hysterics? I leaned my head back against my pillow, “mother…” I started but found the words choking my throat.

  She leaned forward, shaking her head, “don’t.”

  I nodded as I struggled to breathe. She had no idea why my emotions were so chaotic. She knew only that I battled a semblance of agony that death had left me. From her knowledge, the death of a loved one could change anyone. What I had done plagued me more than even she could realize. I had not just led my comrades into death that night, I had left my love there to face his own version of hell for days. I had left him, the other part of my heart, likely in pain, at the bottom of the abyss while I struggled to heal in the hospital of Zion.

  He struggled with something that he could not heal from. He struggled with not knowing what had happened to the rest of us while fighting the dark desires taking over his heart and his mind. It was all because I had selfishly wanted to keep him alive. Isaac had been human enough when I left him to not be able to leap out of the bolt hole. That had likely changed by now. No one could know he was there. I was grateful that he could not get past the new walls put in place around him, even with his developing strength.

  Part of me knew that it was not my fault that so many of my warriors had died that night. It was something that could never have been predicted, just as my mother had claimed many nights ago. The knowledge did not help the guilt that wallowed in my heart. Isaac? His condition was my fault. If I had been paying attention, would he be suffering now? I could not know, and I could not change the past, but still it haunted me. I had to get back to him, no matter the cost.

  My mother’s hand found my forearm and I snapped my eyes to her. Her gaze was full of pity, “I wish I could take some of this from you.”

  I nodded, my eyes shifting to my lap, I could feel the tears brimming there but I refused to let them fall. I needed to be strong for the warriors I had left, including the one hidden in darkness. He may have wanted to die, but I could be strong for us both. I had to believe that there was a way to change what had been done, even if we hadn’t found it yet. “Mother…” I started again, “if we could find a cure, could we stop them?” I met her gaze here, “could we stop the infestation from coming through with such force?”

  My mom’s hand stilled as she glanced to the side thoughtfully, putting her book on the table beside my bed, “I think, Zakiya, that we would have a better chance than we do now.”

  I nodded as I took this in, rolling it over in my head. “I think,” I took a deep breath and looked up again, “I think I have an idea of how to get more of the samples you need.” Mother leaned back at this, her eyes studying me, assessing my mind and bearing. I held her gaze steadily, the numbness the pain had caused me taking over yet again. “I am Isaac’s Goel ha-dam and I will have my vengeance,” I told her, the fury of a few nights ago easing into my voice. I could tell she knew where my thoughts were headed. I could see that she was hesitant to let me do what I had in mind, especially since I would be very adamant about doing it alone.

  She let me say it out loud anyway, “I will be his avenging angel. I will go alone; it will be faster that way. I will go into Zion and get your samples. Keep your patrols and your large squads but let them do their job without an added burden. One person could accomplish the task all on their own, in and out, if they’re good. What happened in the eastern section was all of our faults. It will take us all to make sure it does not happen again.”

  She could see the passion in my eyes, and I could see hers soften before she nodded, �
�I will agree to this, Zakiya, but there will be conditions.”

  “I do not care,” I said, holding up a hand before she could continue. I could deal with conditions, but I would die before I let anyone else go through what my team had. I would be better off alone, for many reasons. Isaac needed me, even if he would forget this soon. He needed a reminder of his humanity and I was his best option. I needed a cure and he could help me find one. I met my mother’s eyes, “let me help you. We will find a cure together. We have been divided over this for too long and it has served no one.”

  My mom nodded once, “agreed. Together.”

  The hospital released me soon after and I found myself picking through the ruins of the eastern section again in the afternoon light. We had eaten in the hospital one last time and then my mom had let me go on my way. She said that I needed to recover emotionally on my own. I couldn’t agree with her more. I glanced around me as I pulled out my grapple and shot a line up. I was far less sore than the last time I had made this journey, but I couldn’t guarantee what Isaac would look like or who he would be. I could only pray that he still had some of his humanity left. Would I recognize him if he shifted completely?

  I launched myself over the wall again, basking in the feel of the free fall that followed. It wasn’t flight, but it was close enough to what I imagined the freedom of flight felt like. It took my burdens away, if only for a short while.

  I landed with a roll and jerked the line into me before launching myself into the bolt hole. I landed and stilled, listening. I heard no movement, and looked up warily. He had been here last time, had he gone further below? Was he too far gone? I knew the corruption took no prisoners. It did not leave even the most humble-hearted alone. It took everyone with no second guesses. We are humanity, and we are dark. I knew this, but as I stood, making no noise, I could not help but hope, that for once, it would not take the man of my heart. That Isaac could hold onto his humanity for as long as it took for me to find the cure. “Isaac?” I asked in a whisper, my hand closing around the sword hilt on my back.

  “Zakiya,” came a low groan, drawing my name out in an eerie way. I turned towards the voice and saw the silhouette of him, sitting on what looked like a metal crate. His head hung low and his arms dangled between his knees. I could definitely see the horns coming up from his head today, even though I knew his hair was still there. I relaxed my posture as his eyes emitted a soft glow, studying me in an almost predatory way, “why are you here?”

  I took a step forward and he did not move. I took another, my hands coming up in a defensive posture. I could feel it in the air, that coiled up tension coming from him. “I came to see if you were still here. I have joined my mother in her endeavors. We will find a cure for this.”

  A soft and dangerous chuckle followed. “They came last night, Z.” His gaze found the hole in the metal floor next to him, the one in which the Corrupted likely fled once light touched the dome. I could see it in his haunted eyes, an acceptance of what happened. I came closer and he shifted his look back to me. “they ignored me. They did not even try to take what was left,” his fingers caressed the gaping wound in his neck where the demon that bit him had torn out a chunk of flesh, leaving muscle and sinew exposed. “I am officially one of them. They do not care about me.”

  I knelt where I was, my arms hanging over my knees. I was coiled too, ready to defend myself if necessary, but still not ready to kill him. “You may smell like them, Abadi, but you are not one of them.”

  He roared and then was in front of me so fast I stumbled back, landing on my forearms as he hovered over my prone body. His face was still his but tinted red instead of bronze and his eyes shown with an inferno. He was definitely getting taller and his already built body was filling out even more, going from lean to muscular. He cocked his head at me; his face looked like it was cracking over his eyes, splintering from the eye socket out. “No?”

  My eyes welled up as I bit my lip, leaning up on my palms as I shifted closer to him, meeting his challenge head on. I had decided that as long as he had a semblance of humanity in him, I would not be afraid. My palm met his cheek and he flinched in the barest of ways, his eyes fluttering closed. “No. If you were, you would not look so human. You would not have known me, you would not react to my touch,” I whispered the last part and his eyes opened, meeting my gaze. “If anyone can fight this, choose humanity over the Corrupted, it is you Isaac.”

  “Is that what you tell yourself to make yourself feel better?” he asked in a low voice before jerking his head away from my grasp, his eyes angry. “Why will you not kill me? Do you not see what I am becoming?”

  I shook my head, unable to contain the soft sob that came out. My hand flew to my mouth, “I cannot, Isaac. I can’t kill you.”

  His unexpected hand on my cheek had me flinching but before he could pull it away, I covered it with my own. His eerie eyes softened, “one day, Z, you will have to let me go. Why let me suffer? Why prolong your own?”

  I tightened my grip on his hand, “every day you suffer, know that I suffer with you, but I will find a cure Isaac. I will bring you back if it kills me.”

  He extricated his hand from mine gently, his eyes turning sorrowful as he backed into the shadows, “I know, Zakiya; that is what terrifies me.” I could not tell if he meant my suffering, or the fact that I would likely die for a cure that may, or may not, exist.

  But before I could ask, he was gone.

  6

  Those few nights in the hospital when I had slept at night and been relatively awake during the day had thrown off my routine. I could feel it now as I prepared to strap on my armor by myself. I had to pause a few times as the realization set in that I may never have Isaac’s help again. Each time, I pushed the loneliness away and replaced it with determination. I wiggled my toes in my boots, grateful that my leg cast was finally off.

  “Do you need help, Harishima?” Came a voice behind me that I recognized. I turned to find Cofher standing in the doorway, hesitating as he pulled the heavy curtain back that I kept there. His eyes turned sheepish as he nodded behind him, “I did knock.”

  I snorted, “it is in your nature to blend in, Cofher, it is what makes you such a fantastic scout.” I pulled my hair up, showing my back to him and he walked forward with his soft steps. His arm was no longer in a sling, but I could see the cast there, much like my own. I had to wonder if his injury had somehow been worse, for although my arm’s cast was due to come off soon, it did not look as if his was going anywhere.

  His fingers made quick work of tying and securing the back of my armor into place. He stepped back quickly, hesitant, “I had heard Dr. Analiesse saying that you were to be put on a solo mission.”

  I faced him, my hair in my hands as I braided it over my shoulder, “that’s right.”

  “I think that going out alone is very unwise,” he said in his blunt, soft way and I smiled at him.

  “Noted, but I cannot risk the lives of more men for the samples my mother needs. It is more beneficial for me to go alone. I can move faster that way, and I do not necessarily have to battle demons or worry about comrades.” I shook out my hands and pulled my sword over my shoulders, tightening the strap across my chest. I did not tell him that I would be in the eastern wing, although it was surely expected.

  And I certainly could not tell him that I needed to visit Isaac as much as I could in the days to come. If I could not stop him from changing, then I wanted to be there for him as much as possible during it. I wanted to see if my presence could keep his humanity strong over the corruption that was rotting him from the inside out. He had already lasted longer than most. I knew that it was selfish to think his love for me had kept him strong, but I had nothing else to go on. I just wanted to help him without killing him. I had nothing else to lose.

  I also knew if I could get some form of genetic sample from him, if he agreed to let me, it could be a critical piece of information for my mother in finding a cure. I had no doubt that the
change happened on a cellular level, and that gaining those samples at various levels of the change would be invaluable. I was no scientist, but even I knew that the change happened so fast, gaining that knowledge was almost impossible. I would not be able to take many from Isaac without telling my mother where they came from. I was hoping that I could get them quickly, before he lost any more of his humanity. Then I could tell my mother that I had seen someone bitten, changing, and was able to get a sample before killing them.

  I turned towards the door and startled to find Cofher still standing there silently as he watched me, his eyes assessing. I schooled my features into neutral and raised an eyebrow at him. He glanced down. “I know I am injured, perhaps enough that I may not be able to use my arm again, but if I could spot you from afar with a bow…” His eyes were some of the best. It would not be a wasted resource to have him along, but I just wasn’t sure I could risk it. Not without him finding out about Abadi.

  “Let us give your arm some time to heal up a bit more before I consider it,” I told him, softening as I lay a hand on his shoulder. “The infection in your arm needs rest to cleanse and restore it. I am sorry. I did not realize how bad you had gotten clawed.”

  His eyes shifted to his arm in what was almost defeat, “it is not your fault, Zakiya. You should stop blaming yourself for what has happened. Fate is a cruel mistress, but she cares not what any of us think. You did everything you could and many still died. Only Adonai could have prevented such a substantial loss.”

  Deciding that Cofher did not need to hear my thoughts on Adonai at the moment, I shifted my head to the dresser by the door, to the mirror there with photos of Isaac and me. I took a deep breath in, withdrawing the tears brimming at the edge of my eyelids. My eyes closed as I let that breath out, before meeting Cofher’s knowing gaze once again. I pulled my hand off his shoulder, “you are not wrong, Cofher,” I said with some steel in my voice, before sliding around him and out the door of my room.