Fueled Hate: A Dark College Bully Romance
Page 19
My eyes fall to her bare thighs that have held my attention since she walked out of her bedroom dressed in a pair of jean shorts yesterday. Her head turns, catching me watching her.
“What’s wrong?”
She turns away, looking out the window as she mutters, “Nothing.”
“Yeah. You’re perfectly fine.” Sarcasm should get her going but it doesn’t. “Sadie.”
“How do you do it?” she whispers, slowly turning to look at me. “How can you keep going back?”
The Dome. I’d witnessed her panicked reaction at the place she’d lost her mother, and now we’re heading to the place where my brother died. “My anger is stronger than my grief.”
“I couldn’t do it. I’ve tried, but I can’t go to the place she took her last breath and pretend everything is all right.”
“I didn’t want to see it, but I had to. I had to see the place where he died. It’s fucked up, I know.”
“No. Driving thirty minutes out of the way to a grocery store in the next town over in order to avoid the market down the street from your home is fucked up.”
When she said she hasn’t been there, she meant not at all. I can’t relate to how she’s dealing with her agony. I barrel straight into things headfirst. She hides from what causes her pain … which is why she hides from me. Goddamn it, I don’t want her to hide from me. Reaching over, I place my hand on her thigh and grip firmly.
Her posture stays turned away, but her arm loops around mine, her hand resting on my forearm.
It’s a start. She’s not completely here with me, but she’s not fled to the next town over to avoid me. Yet.
Turning down the dirt road, my hand reluctantly leaves her thigh, downshifting before hastily returning to its rightful place.
As we round the corner, the Dome comes into view. The massive crowd is already larger than last week. For the first time, I’m thankful to not be racing because, as Bryce has repeatedly and annoyingly reminded me, my head isn’t in the right place. I doubt it will be by tomorrow night, but that won’t stop me from getting on the track again.
Blaring music drowns out the chatter from the crowd as we make our way to where Parker and Willow are standing near the launch area.
Parker immediately nods, motioning me over as we step to the side. “Racing tonight?”
“No.”
He glances quickly to Sadie before looking back to me, leaning in. “Everyone’s ready to see you race again, so let me know if you change your mind.”
I nod, even though I know a race tonight isn’t going to happen for me. I’m not here to screw around on a few test runs. Every time I get on this track, I need it to count. I immediately turn my attention back to Sadie and see she’s chatting with Willow. Parker walks over to Willow, gives her a peck on the cheek, then cuts his way through the crowd. Even if the races aren’t official, people are still ready to place bets.
About ten minutes later, Parker calls for the first set of drivers to line up.
Walking to Sadie, I grasp her hand in mine, and we walk to the side of the track. Stopping in front of my car, I lean against the front bumper. Willow and Sadie are still talking as I glance down the track, the image of Noah’s headstone popping in my thoughts. Dropping my head forward, I focus on the uneven pavement as I snake my arm around Sadie’s waist. I gently guide her back to me until my lips touch the smooth skin on her shoulder and her ass rests on my lap.
She looks back, her alluring eyes piercing straight through me as she asks, “Are you all right?”
Fuck no. “Yeah,” I mutter against her skin as I place another soft kiss behind her ear.
Willow clears her throat as she pivots, turning her back to us and stepping to the side, but she doesn’t miss a beat as she continues talking.
The first set of racers barrel down the track, the vibrations throttling my soul. Why is it getting harder every time I’m here? It’s supposed to get easier. Closing my eyes, I breathe her in. Taking a deep breath, I feel some relief until her body tenses.
Opening my eyes, I’m met with the source of her stress when I spot Kyle stomping our way. He’s picked the wrong night. All of my fucked-up emotions—the temper, pain, and anger—are boiling just under the surface, ready to explode. And his face is the only thing that I want to hammer into the fucking ground.
His sorry excuse for a sidekick hurries to push slightly in front of him as he walks up. Kyle’s eyes drop to the arm I have looped around Sadie’s waist before he looks to her. “Didn’t take you long to find a new fuckboy.”
Standing, I shift Sadie to the side, shielding her from whatever I can. “You would’ve actually had to fuck her for that to be true.”
His nostrils flare as he lunges forward, attempting to grab at me as Andrew shoves him back.
That’s right. I know. He didn’t do anything right by her—in bed or otherwise. That much is clear. Rage rises in my chest as I recall how nervous and anxious Sadie had been thinking I was going to make her do something that she didn’t willingly want to offer.
Kyle leans to the side, spewing obscenities in Sadie’s direction as I counter his move. “Talk to me if you have a fucking problem.”
Andrew attempts to shove Kyle back, but he throws his hands up, a small crowd gathering to see what the commotion is about. “You. You’re my problem. You had no fucking right to go see my father.”
I recognize Sadie’s sharp intake of breath. She’s about to have another reason to hate me. But I’d done it for her.
Her hands grip my arm, trying to get me to look at her. “What is he talking about?”
Kyle’s spiteful laugh confirms he’s well aware he’s holding a grenade that threatens to destroy what little progress I have built with Sadie.
“Oh, you don’t know. How motherfucking perfect is that?” Kyle maliciously cackles, stepping closer.
“Dylan …” Sadie’s pained voice cuts through me as her hand clings to my bicep.
I can’t give her an answer that will make her feel better. And I don’t have to worry about explaining as Kyle begins speaking.
“Pretty boy here paid off my dad.”
Her fingers dig into my skin as she looks between me and Kyle, my eyes dropping to hers.
“I had to.”
“Why would you do that?” Blinking rapidly, she stands there, waiting for me to explain, but there’s nothing to say. It’s already done. Boone wasn’t gracious in the least about accepting my offer, or more like demand. Regardless, I paid that prick back every cent of tuition he’d spent on Sadie’s behalf. I’d be damned if she was indebted to that family.
“Let’s go,” Andrew says, attempting to be the voice of reason, but Kyle doesn’t budge.
Willow steps between Kyle and me as she yells, hollering at Kyle and Andrew to leave.
Sadie remains frozen in place, staring at me like she’s seeing right through me. At least that’s how it feels.
Willow shouts at Andrew, “Get the hell out of here and take him with you.”
“What the fuck you think I’ve been trying to do?” Andrew roars, throwing his hands up in frustration as Kyle breaks away, barreling towards me.
Lunging for him, I swing my fist, connecting with his jaw, the pain in my hand already relieving the pain of Sadie’s heartbroken expression.
Kyle moves to swing but I anticipate it, dodging his knuckles as I slam my fist into his gut. Sadie’s no longer in my mind as my blows continue to pummel whatever flesh I can strike. All I see is Noah until powerful arms pin me, hauling me back. Trying to take a breath, my eyes fixate on Kyle lying on the pavement, blood oozing out of his nose or mouth, there’s too much to tell exactly where it’s coming from. Only it’s not Kyle I see but Noah—my little brother lying bloody, bruised, and defenseless on the ground. I fight against the hold restraining me.
Sadie’s faint pleas begging me to stop register in the back of my mind, but I can’t. I know Kyle did it. I know he is the one responsible for Noah’s death, not me.<
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“Calm down, man!” Parker yells from behind me as I watch Andrew bend down, reaching over as Kyle comes back into focus. Kyle swats at his hand, rolling onto all fours as he coughs.
Tensing, I attempt to move forward, wanting nothing more than to sink my foot into his face, but Parker keeps a hold on me. “Dylan, that’s enough. You’re gonna fucking kill him.”
“I should.” And in that moment, I want to. The agony he’s caused everyone I care about should be inflicted on him tenfold.
Willow steps in front of me, shoving me back. “Dylan, let’s go.”
Turning to head to my car, I spot Sadie. She’s frozen in place, tears streaming down her face. I move to reach for her but stop when I spot my bloodstained knuckles. I can’t touch her. I’m only going to tarnish her, break her.
Quickly turning, she runs off, slipping into the passenger seat of Willow’s nearby car.
Hiding—Sadie is hiding from me.
35
Sadie
“Sadie, say something,” Willow pleads.
We arrived back at our apartment minutes ago, but it feels like an eternity. “I don’t understand.”
My eyes snap to the door as a heavy pounding sounds on the other side. It’s him. I don’t need to look to know who’s there. Willow must too because she asks, “Do you want him here?”
I. Don’t. Know.
“Open the door, Sadie,” Dylan’s stern voice commands.
“No. I don’t.” Standing from the couch, I move to the door and jerk it open. “Why? Why would you do that?”
“I’m sorry.”
“No. You don’t get to apologize. I asked how much so I could figure out a way to pay Oliver back, but you wouldn’t let me. Then you take it upon yourself to go see him and pay …?” I wasn’t sure how much to pay Oliver back, how did Dylan know? “How much was it?”
“I’m gonna go in my room,” Willow says from behind me. Dylan looks past me into the apartment. “Yell if you need anything, Sadie.”
“The money doesn’t matter,” Dylan mumbles after I hear Willow’s door click shut.
“Yes, it does. I didn’t want to owe Kyle anything, and I will not be in debt to you instead. Tell me the amount or I will go speak with Oliver myself, or ask Kyle.”
His teeth clench at Kyle’s name. He doesn’t want me anywhere near him. And I don’t want to deal with Kyle, but I won’t owe any of these assholes a dime, not for anything, especially my future.
“How much?”
“About thirty.”
“Thirty thousand dollars?”
Dylan nods, but he looks everywhere except at me.
“Where did you get the money?”
“Sadie …” Dylan grips the back of his neck with his hand, his head hanging down as he looks to the ground.
“Where? Did you get it from Bryce?”
“No,” he responds, still avoiding my eyes.
“Racing, gambling, drugs?” I ask, getting his attention on the last word. “How did you get that kind of money without finding a quick payday?”
“It’s not what you’re thinking.”
“Then tell me because what I’m thinking is worse than what they’re doing.”
Dylan leans forwards, his palms gripping the doorframe. “I didn’t want you to know until you knew me.”
“Know what? Just tell me. Is it something illegal? Did you get it from Bryce? Is he smuggling pills with all of you?”
“Bryce’s dad works for Forest Hollow Finance.”
“You got the money from Bryce.” I knew Bryce had more money than sense from his extravagant hotel room alone, but who has thirty thousand to just give to their best friend?
“My dad owns Forest Hollow.”
If Bryce’s dad works for the company, Dylan most definitely comes from a family with even deeper pockets. Thirty thousand is probably pocket change to him. A far cry from the guy sleeping in a run-down apartment with only a mattress and a couch. He’d tricked me into feeling sorry for him, thinking he was different than Kyle, but he’s the same. They take when and what they please.
“Let me guess … Daddy bought you a foolishly expensive car on your sixteenth birthday, but it got old fast. So, you got a brand-new shiny one on the first day of your senior year of high school, but it was a shade too light, so you insisted on a different one. After all, nothing will ever be good enough for a jackass who can get anything he pleases.”
“I’m not him. I told you—where I live has nothing to do with who I am. Where I’m from, how much money my family has, none of it defines who I am.”
“No. But your lies do.”
“It’s not the lies. It’s the money. Why does it bother you so bad that my family has money?”
“Because the richest person I know doesn’t have the word no in his vocabulary. He thinks he can take anything he pleases without having to ask permission or—”
“Accept consequences,” Dylan finishes my sentence. I’d accused him of that much after he’d made the stupid bet, but he didn’t know I wasn’t just ranting.
Moving to shut the door, Dylan’s hand stops it before it completely closes. “What did he do to you? Did he force himself on you?” His flat tone is unnerving because I know there’s unmeasurable anger beneath it. “I need to know.”
After witnessing the rage in Dylan at the track, I’m not sure what he’s capable of when it comes to Kyle. But from what I’ve experienced with Dylan, behind closed doors, I know he’d stop if I asked him to.
“He didn’t force me.”
“Tell me.”
“It happened to me, not you, so don’t worry about it. I’ve forgotten about it long ago.”
“No, you haven’t. It’s why your entire body trembles every time you’re uncovered and exposed in front of me. It’s the reason I take the time to make you feel safe and protected with me. To let you know that you can trust me to ask before I take.”
“He didn’t force me. He didn’t even want to have sex until after my mom died. I’d wanted to. I really had. I’d wanted to feel normal again. I knew the first time would hurt or be uncomfortable. And it was. I asked him to slow down but he wouldn’t.” Taking a deep breath, I remember the feeling afterwards more clearly than anything. “But the emptiness that followed was the worst, and it’s the same way I’ve felt every time since then. Used, dirty, expendable.”
Cautiously, Dylan takes a step forward, lifting his arms as he carefully embraces me. “Cherished, treasured, protected—that’s what you should feel.”
Bringing my arms up, I encircle them around his torso, my face against his chest, enjoying the tenderness he provides in the moment. But I can’t do this. I feel too many things with him, and most of them terrify me.
“I wanted to kill him. All I could see was Noah.” Dylan’s voice is strained as his arms pull me closer. “I still want to kill him.”
“Noah wouldn’t want that, and neither do I. It would make you just like him.”
“He keeps hurting people, and he’s not done yet.” Dylan presses a soft kiss on my forehead as a tear slips down my cheek.
“Please, don’t. You scared me tonight,” I confess as he tenses.
“I’m so sorry, Sadie. About everything.” His sincerity cuts straight through me because I want to forgive him, but that’s more dangerous than inviting him in.
“You should go.”
His arms tighten around me before slowly releasing. He reaches a finger up to brush it across my cheek. “Good night, Sadie.”
The declaration is like a punch in the gut because I don’t want him to go, but I can’t ask him to stay.
36
Dylan
I haven’t moved since I arrived hours ago. The sun is rising as I sit staring out the wall of windows. It’s serene, peaceful, but it doesn’t bring me solace. Nothing has since the moment I left her doorstep. Her words replayed in my head all night, envisioning the brutal way he took her then continued using her.
Taking a deep b
reath, I try to decide the best move to get her back. There’s no decision on my first move because it’s the class we’re in together, the one Kyle transferred to, the one I registered for based on the sole purpose of being near her.
Shoving off the couch, I walk to the kitchen. The penthouse has an ample coffee bar, gaudy and extravagant, yet I’d rather be making a cup from the simple drip coffee pot in Sadie’s kitchen.
Throwing my mug in the sink, it shatters against the metal as I lean forward, my hands gripping the counter. I’d let her think I was broke to see if she’d still want me. There had never been any part of me that questioned if she’d want me for the money. I’ve experienced those people my entire life. I can spot them a mile away. It was the many obstacles between us that I feared would cloud her judgment. I just wanted her to see me, not the money, not my brother, just me.
“What the hell was that?” A sleepy Bryce walks out of the bedroom, stretching as he looks at the rising sun. “Dude, sleep. Some of us need it.”
“I have class.”
Yep. He’s dumbfounded, and I get why. The course I set in motion is burning all around me, and I’m going to class.
“Um. Why?”
“She’s not going to face Kyle alone.”
“I doubt he’ll have the balls to show after that beatdown last night, and if he does, it’s unlikely that he’ll screw with her.”
“He will. His ego is wounded. He lost his girl, his title, his dignity, and tonight, he’ll lose his car.”
“There’s another way to do this.”
“No, there isn’t.”
“Yeah. There is. Turn him in. Let him deal with the legal repercussions and we’ll hire the best damn investigators to reopen Noah’s case and take a second look to make sure no stone is unturned.”
“He’ll walk.”
“You don’t know—” Bryce stops as I look to him. We know how it works. Enough money can lessen the charges at the very least, if not get them dismissed entirely.