Fueled Hate: A Dark College Bully Romance

by A. J. Logan

  Reaching between us, I wrap my fingers around his dick as I roll my hips forward, taking him inside me. Crashing my mouth to his, I fervently kiss him as I ride him. He’s all I can feel. He’s all I want to feel as I moan his name, rocking against him as he moves inside me.

  His hands grip my ass, setting our pace as he lifts his hips to meet each thrust. His tongue trails down my neck, leaving a delicious wet path. His arms reach up my back, his hands gripping my shoulders as he holds me to him, thrusting a final time before he releases in me. His breath steadies as we remain tangled together, holding each other, until he guides me back, tenderly kissing me. We remain still, savoring the moment, and it feels like neither of us wants to ever let go of it.

  42

  Dylan

  Tapping my fingers against the wooden bar, I glance at the time again, realizing it’s only been five minutes since the last time I checked. Looking over my shoulder, I spot Sadie standing next to a table with two guys seated at it. I recognize them from the party last night. The party that had been a total bust as far as my purposes were concerned. I’d been so preoccupied with her in that fucking dress, I’d forgotten the reason I was there to begin with. I can’t totally blame the dress, though—she’s had that effect on me since the moment I laid eyes on her. The scary part is I’m not mad about losing the chance to gather some information last night. The only thing I can think about right now is the sleazy way one of the guys she’s serving is looking at her. It takes everything I have not to walk over there and put my fist through his skull. I’m barely maintaining control of myself when it comes to her, and I don’t know how much longer I can hold it together.

  “Here ya go.” Jett places a refilled Dr. Pepper in front of me before quickly walking away. He’s never been my biggest fan, but it’s clear he despises me now that he knows she’s mine.

  Bryce appears on my left, taking a seat as he lays his head on the bar with a groan.

  “Rough night?” I ask.

  “Yes. Raw, rough, and hard. How ’bout you?” he asks, signaling to Jett that he needs a drink before looking back to me. “Damn, dude. What’s with the mean-mugging? I thought she was gonna chill your ass out, but I think you’re getting fouler by the day.”

  His teasing is aggravating me, but I know his words land squarely. He’s right, as always. I have her and yet I’m still not happy. I should find some sort of relief in the fact that she’s completely opening herself up to me, allowing me in without holding back. Why was it easier when she was hiding from me?

  The next hours pass by with Bryce recounting the info he was able to discover at the party, which was nothing useful. No one was selling, or at least no one was telling Bryce who was dealing. More than likely, there wasn’t anyone there because although Bryce might not have appeared focused last night, but he was. Since I blew the race, he’s been determined to help me finish up my quest by whatever means necessary as long as it doesn’t involve me getting back on the track.

  Finally, Sadie’s morning shift that lasted ninety-two hours and well into lunchtime is up, so I toss some money on the bar and walk outside to lean against my car as I wait on her. Today isn’t a normal work day for her, but she’d requested it since she’d missed a few days. And like the pathetic sap that I am, I spent the majority of my day hovering around her. Bryce was sure to remind me of that tidbit when he bailed, leaving me alone at the bar to wait for her.

  Just when I think the day is looking up, since we’re nearly ready to get the hell out of there, I spot Kyle drive into the parking lot. I should’ve known he would be creeping around soon enough, if only to gloat, and I hope that’s all he’s got in mind.

  “Who’d you steal this ride from?” Kyle laughs, looking over my car as he approaches.

  Not reacting is the only thing I can do to keep from ripping his head off. Hopefully, Sadie stays inside Big Tobe’s until the shithead leaves.

  “Is it yours? There’s no way.” He stands a few feet back, admiring the machine as he snickers. “Now it makes sense why she was so quick to jump on your dick.”

  “Get the fuck out of here. Now.” I can’t do this. I can’t remain in control with him here; and he’ll use her as a tool against me. How the tables have turned—it was supposed to be the other way around. I was supposed to use her to get to him. How the fuck had I let this happen?

  A devilish grin forms on his face as he glances over my shoulder, looking to the diner and takes a step closer to me. “The least you can do is thank me for fucking her long and hard to get that dry pussy warmed up for you. It was a challenging job but someone had to do it.”

  My fists clench as I think about all the times he’d used her, just for his own satisfaction after his other pussy was gone. “Better than fucking her mother.”

  His face pales, the cocky grin fades replaced by pure shock. My amusement at his revelation is short-lived when I hear a sharp intake of breath behind me.

  Fuck. What did I do?

  “What are you talking about?” Sadie cautiously steps between us, looking to Kyle’s stunned state before turning to me. A dead silence strangles me as her eyes fill with tears, realizing it’s true. She turns to Kyle for confirmation. “What is he talking about? Is that true?”

  Kyle stands rigid, and unusually silent, as Sadie’s hands clasp her mouth, stifling a sob from escaping.

  “Sadie, let’s go.” I reach for her, but she quickly backs away and looks to Kyle.

  “My mom? You fucked my mom? Answer me!” she shrieks as she lunges forward, shoving him back.

  “Just let me explain.”

  “That’s why you spent so much time helping her, why she wanted you around all the time.” Her voice rises with each word. She sobs, her fingers pressing her temples as she erratically shakes her head, like she’s trying to get the vile images out of her mind. “Because y’all were fucking the entire time … right under my nose.” Her voice trails off as she reluctantly looks to me. The anguish on her face clutches at my insides; I see her heart shattering into pieces, the trust she had in me falling away one sliver at a time. “You knew. All along, you knew that they were fucking each other.”

  Reaching out, all I want to do is wrap my arms around her and shield her from the pain, because it’s not over yet. “Sadie, I’m sorry—”

  “No.” She holds her hands out to ward me off as she takes a step back, retreating from me. “Don’t touch me.”

  She focuses on Kyle, her posture stiff and rigid as she takes a step in his direction. “I. Hate. You. Everything about you. Every time you touched me, it made me loathe you even more. But I hate myself the most for allowing you to do it because I thought I was holding onto a piece of my life that included her. I didn’t know how right I was.” Her voice cracks as she swiftly turns, hurrying back to the diner as she runs across the parking lot.

  Kyle stiffly walks away, drops into his car, and speeds off.

  Jogging across the parking lot, I step through the door, glancing around to find her. My eyes lock with Jett’s as he steps out of the hallway that leads to the restrooms. Quickly rushing past him, I reach for the bathroom door, but it’s locked.

  I can’t get to her.

  My fist pounds against the door as I implore her. “Open the door.”

  She won’t let me in.

  The betrayal keeps coming at her from all angles—from every person in her life.

  She’ll never fully allow me in now.

  “Let me in, Sadie.” I slam my fist against the barrier preventing me from getting to her.

  Jett moves in front of the door. “She’s been hurt enough without you coming along to finish what he started. Just leave her alone.”

  “I can’t.” Taking a painful step away from her, I turn and walk out of the diner. Even if I tear that door down with my bare hands, she’d still slip out of my grasp because I can’t get a handle on myself.

  I can’t leave her alone; I can’t give her up … even if I should.

  43

/>   Sadie

  The heels of my hands press into my temples as I clench my eyes closed, trying to stop the images flooding my mind. My mom smiling, laughing as she tapped Kyle’s shoulder, fussing about him adding too much salt to the cake batter of my eighteenth birthday cake. What appeared to be a motherly gesture had actually been a flirtatious touch.

  He hadn’t wanted to have sex with me until after she died—because he was with her before that. Nausea flows through me again as my arm clutches my stomach. There’s nothing left though, because I’d already emptied its contents before dropping to sit on the floor, my back against the metal stall. It’s been over an hour since Dylan pounded on the door, yelling for me to open it.

  How could he not have told me? What a fool he must think I am. He’d said it himself: I hadn’t realized what was going on right under my nose.

  My dad.

  My face falls into my hands as a sob escapes. My shoulders shake as I wonder if he knows or if he was clueless like me.

  A message dings on my phone as I pull it from my pocket.

  Jett: Are you all right?

  Me: Yes.

  Jett: Then come out of the bathroom. My shift is over. I can take you home.

  Me: Thanks. Meet you by your truck.

  Home. I don’t know where home is because my definition has just been incinerated by someone I thought I knew better than myself, someone I’ve grieved for but betrayed me and my dad in the worst way.

  Pushing off the bathroom floor, I rinse my mouth, splash some water on my face, and walk out the door. As I let it close, I notice the handwritten Out of Order sign taped to the door. That explains why no one had tried to come in. It had to have been Jett directing customers to the other restrooms so I could have some time to myself.

  I pull the sign off the door, crumble it up and toss it into the trash can as I walk out of the diner, keeping my eyes lowered. I don’t want to talk right now. I just want to get out of here.

  Jett’s sitting on the opened tailgate of his massive diesel truck. The waitstaff always picks on him about it because people need a step latter to get into it. Even his six-foot-tall frame looks small next to the oversized monstrosity when he hops down and closes the tailgate as I approach.

  “Hey,” he says awkwardly as he moves to the passenger door, opening it for me to climb up into. I pull myself up by the interior handle and feel his hand slightly grip my hip as he assists me into the truck.

  Smoothing my shirt down, I brush at the spot because it doesn’t feel right. Only one person’s hand has ever touched me that didn’t feel awkward, out of place, or unwanted.

  Jett climbs into the driver’s seat and starts up the motor. “I don’t know what happened, but I’m here if you want to talk.”

  “Thanks.” It’s a sweet gesture, but I don’t want to talk. I don’t want to think about it, talk about it, or acknowledge the reality of it. “And thanks for the ride. Willow is supposed to take me to get my car later tonight.” Ugh, should I talk to my dad? I don’t know what to say or if I should say anything. He’s living in a fantasy world too, shielded from the betrayal of somebody we didn’t really know.

  “I can drive you. It’s in Staffordsville, right?”

  “Yeah, but it’s okay. You’re already giving me a ride back to my place.”

  “I don’t mind, really. Anytime you need a lift, just give me a call. I’ll drive you anywhere you need to go. Don’t mind a bit.”

  I’d heard something similar to that when I was forced to leave my car and my freedom behind.

  “No. I need my car back.” And my sanity.

  “Well, let’s head that way,” he insists, looking to me. “You need a lift to Staffordsville, I have too much time on my hands, so it’s a win-win. I really don’t mind at all, Sadie. You’d be doing me a favor. Saving me from staring at the walls of my house. I’m just gonna sit at home and be bored.”

  “Okay. I’ll give you some diesel money for taking me.” Because I don’t want to owe someone else something.

  “Nope. Just relax and enjoy the ride.” He reaches over and turns up the radio as music fills the truck. That I can handle, because I don’t want to chat.

  “Thanks,” I say over the music as I give him a half-smile.

  “No problem.” Jett pats me on my knee, and I automatically flinch away. “We’re not all bad guys, Sadie,” he says, gripping the steering wheel as he glances to me.

  “I know.” I just don’t trust my judgment to figure out who the bad guys are because so far, I’ve been very wrong. Out of all of the betrayals, the one by my mother stings the most. She was the one who was supposed to guard me from heartache, not inflict it.

  Tucking my arms against my body, I focus out the window. I don’t want to be touched by anyone. Kyle always made me feel worthless and hollow. Now I just feel hatred—for him and for my mom. How could she do that? Never getting the opportunity to ask that question is more painful than any answer she could ever give me.

  The truck comes to a stop in my driveway after the hour-long commute as I eye my car, not any readier to face reality. Levi’s truck is on one side of it and dad is parked behind the Mustang. They’re both here, probably enjoying a relaxed, serene evening. And now I’m here to ruin it. I can’t do that to them. But I want to fix things with Levi. I need my brother and my dad, even if they don’t need me.

  “Thanks for the ride,” I tell Jett after he refuses my offer for diesel money once again. But whatever, I don’t have it in me to argue.

  “Anytime, Sadie. Just say the word.” He gives me a warm smile as I carefully climb out of his truck and walk towards the front door, reluctantly pushing it open as I step inside my childhood home. There’s nothing that feels good about it. Everywhere I look I see memories that I question.

  “Hey, Sadie,” Dad looks to me with a tight smile like everything is normal as he walks into the kitchen, tossing his paper plate in the trash.

  The last time I saw him I found out he let Kyle—Oliver, actually—pay my way at the university. This time, I’ve found out his wife had an affair with my ex-boyfriend, the same one he’s involved in illegal activities with.

  “We have extra pizza if you’re hungry,” Dad says.

  “I’m sure that fancy boyfriend fed her already,” Levi says over his shoulder as he tosses his plate on the counter, walking out the back door and slamming it behind him.

  “Just ignore him.” Dad shoves the pizza box in the fridge as he moves around the kitchen.

  I swallow the lump in my throat as my fingernails dig into my palms. “Can I ask you something?”

  “Sure,” he says, continuing his task of cleaning the kitchen, tossing Levi’s dirty paper plate in the trash. After a few seconds pass, he pauses to look at me. “Is something wrong?”

  Everything is wrong. “No. I was just wondering … did you and Mom ever have any trouble, like with your marriage?”

  “Where’s this coming from, Sadie?” he asks, turning his full attention on me.

  “It’s nothing.” I glance down to the floor. “I’m just confused about some things with Dylan and Kyle.” It’s not a complete lie, but I need to ask Dad without asking, because if he doesn’t know what Mom did, I can’t be the one to tell him.

  “Want to give me some details so I can maybe shine some light in the right direction?”

  There isn’t a right direction, only a less painful one for some of the people involved that were left behind with too many unanswered questions. “No. It’s fine. It’s probably best that I break things off with both of them.” Truth. But the follow-through might be difficult where Dylan is concerned. Kyle, on the other hand, can stay as far away from me as possible. “Things are definitely over with Kyle.”

  “Are you sure? Y’all have been together for a really long time. It’d be a shame to throw away something for a fling.”

  “Dylan isn’t a fling.”

  “It may not feel like that when it’s something shiny and new. Just give Kyle a fa
ir chance. I know you’re still upset about the tuition, but I swear to you, we both wanted what’s best for you.”

  “Dylan paid Oliver all of the money back.”

  Dad looks as stunned as I’d felt when I heard the amount.

  “I didn’t want him to pay it, and I’m paying him back every cent.”

  “It wasn’t his place, but we’ll get him the money back. We knew Kyle’s reasoning; we don’t know Dylan’s.”

  “I don’t understand anyone’s reasoning anymore.” The fact that my dad is defending Kyle twists my heart into even more knots. He couldn’t have known about the affair and what a vile human being Kyle really is. He’s still tied up in the smuggling, so maybe that’s the reason he’s defending him.

  “You should’ve told me about the tuition. If you need help with the shop, financial or anything, let me help you. I promise my intentions are better than anyone else’s.”

  “The shop is good. Just give some thought to your future with Kyle so you don’t regret your decision later on.” Dad goes back to the living room, sitting on the couch. “Are you staying the night?”

  “No, I’m gonna head back to school.” The house is suffocating, and being here with Dad while I lie to him and he lies to me is too much. It’s all too much.

  “Okay. Better get on the road before dark. Drive safe, Sadie.”

  “I will.” Tears stream down my cheek as I grab my spare key and hurry out of the house, stopping as I reach for the handle of the Mustang. The car I’d clung to because of her. The relationship I’d hung onto because of her. The fucking backpack that I still carry around, because of her. She’s ruined it. All of it. She’s taken every pure, good memory I have of her and destroyed them. I’ve been grieving for her when she was slicing my chest open and ripping out my heart.

  44

  Dylan

  Finally, the Mustang drives up to the old barn, jerking to a stop before Sadie bails out and fumbles with the combination lock.