Forever

by Karen Kingsbury

  They’d passed that first tenuous goal. Three days and Dayne was still alive. She held on to that one fact alone. Katy stared out the window. It was the first week of September; Labor Day had come and gone. A strong wind moved the trees below Dayne’s hospital room, clearing out the fog and smog and making the sky bluer than usual. Ashley and John kept vigil with her most of the time, but they spent the nights at a hotel down the street.

  At this moment, John was talking with Dayne’s doctors, and Ashley was getting a sandwich in the cafeteria. Katy wasn’t hungry. The news about the paparazzi was as bad as any of them had expected, though Katy had been spared by never leaving the intensive-care floor. Ashley and John had been careful to keep most of the details from her, but when she pressed them this morning they’d had to admit that everything they’d feared had indeed happened.

  “They know who we are,” Ashley had told her. “Their questions tell the story. They’re asking if I’m Dayne’s sister and if Dad’s his father. They’ve got it figured out for sure.”

  Katy sighed. The first tabloid stories would hit in just six days, and after that the frenzied hunt for information on Dayne’s biological family would—at least for some time—become all-consuming.

  Even so, Ashley hadn’t seemed concerned. “We knew about this risk when we contacted Dayne. If the world wants to stare at us through a magnifying glass, fine. Nothing will change back home. We’ll still be the same Baxter family.”

  Katy hoped so. The pulse and rhythm of the machines soothed her nerves. She preferred this now—just the sound of the equipment helping Dayne survive, monitoring whatever progress he might be making. She’d stopped watching news reports last night after tuning in to a special about Dayne. The reporter reminded viewers of Dayne’s relationships with several of his leading ladies, including Kelly Parker.

  What the special didn’t mention was the baby Dayne had fathered. The one Kelly aborted. Katy had turned the TV off then, and it had stayed off since. In one of their last conversations before the accident, Dayne had mentioned the baby, the way he did every few weeks. The child would’ve been almost three months old. He followed the dates, and the regret never quite went away.

  In the first full day at the hospital, when sleep had been impossible and her mind raced to all sorts of extreme places, Katy had been comforted by the fact that if Dayne didn’t survive, he would have the chance to see his baby in heaven. To hold him or her the way he never had the chance to on earth. Imagining that brought quiet rivers of tears, and for a few minutes it almost seemed like a good thing that God would release Dayne from the bonds of earth and allow him to meet his child.

  Then her mind had veered in the other direction. The unborn baby was safe now, in that special place in heaven for all children who never had the chance to live. The baby didn’t need Dayne. Not when Katy wanted to spend an entire lifetime with him. They were supposed to marry and have a houseful of children. But Dayne had to live first. He had to find his way back to daylight and to everything that had made him who he was.

  The back of the chair felt hard against Katy’s spine. She shifted and turned toward Dayne. The swelling in his face was almost entirely gone. Maybe the same was true for his brain. She let her eyes travel down the thick bedsheets to where his leg was still heavily bandaged.

  She wouldn’t leave him, no matter what. She’d told John Baxter that, and she’d meant every word. But in the darkest moments, when it was just Dayne and her alone in the hospital room, the future loomed like a black hole. A brain-damaged Dayne Matthews? Struggling day to day with only one leg?

  She shuddered at the thought, but before she could ask God for strength, beg Him for a positive mind-set, there was a knock at the door. “Yes?”

  The door opened and John and Ashley came in. Both of them were smiling, and Ashley had tears in her eyes.

  John reached out and took Katy’s hand. “I have good news.”

  Katy sucked in a quick breath. “Really?” For three days she hadn’t heard those words in the same sentence. A rush of heat filled her veins, and she squeezed John’s hand. “Tell me. Please.”

  John smiled, but his chin quivered and it was clear he was fighting to find his voice. Finally he cleared his throat and shook his head. “I didn’t think we’d see this day.”

  Ashley took the place on the other side of her father. “The infection in his leg’s turned a corner.” Her voice cracked, and she put her fingers to her lips. “They won’t have to amputate.”

  Time seemed to stop. “Thank You, God. . . . Thank You.” Katy’s whispered prayer came instantly, instinctively. Whatever lay ahead for the two of them, Dayne would have his legs. She looked at John. “You just found out?”

  “Yes.” He leaned over and hugged her shoulders. “There’s more.”

  A dizzy sense of elation wrapped its arms around her. “More?”

  “The tests they did this morning show the swelling has stopped and is already receding at a rapid rate.”

  “So . . .” She held her breath, waiting.

  “He’s going to make it, Katy. He’s going to live.”

  “I told you.” Ashley put her hand on Katy’s shoulder. She was crying openly now. “God has plans for the two of you. For all of us.”

  Katy couldn’t have stood if she wanted to. She breathed more thanks to God and then voiced the only question that remained. “His brain?”

  John’s smile faded some. “They’re not sure. Tests show much less damage than they originally thought, but his coma is still at the most severe level.” He took a step closer to his son and rested his hand on the bed rail. “It’s imperative that he come out of the coma soon.”

  Katy understood. John didn’t want to say that a lengthy coma could have serious ramifications for Dayne or that the longer the coma, the more serious his brain injury. They’d been told many times that Dayne might be able to hear them, so John was doing what he ought to do. He was presenting the facts in the most positive way possible.

  Dayne needed to wake up. Period.

  Even so, if the tests couldn’t see the serious damage Dayne’s doctor had feared, then there was reason to celebrate. Already God had worked the impossible.

  Katy stood and hugged Ashley first, then John. “This is what we’ve been praying for.”

  “Yes.” John took hold of one of her hands. “It’s as much as we could’ve dared hope for at this point.”

  The look in John’s eyes told Katy that they easily could’ve been talking about a funeral, and even if Dayne kept his leg and his life, he was not in the clear yet. Not until they understood the extent of his brain injury.

  Katy tried to get a handle on everything she was feeling. “You and Ashley are leaving today, right?”

  “In a few hours.” Ashley directed Katy to sit back down. Then she pulled up a chair. “We need to talk.” She sniffed. Her eyes were dry now, though her cheeks were still tearstained.

  John took a few steps back and pointed to the door. “I want to meet with Dr. Deming again. I’ll be out there if you need me.”

  When he was gone, Ashley’s face filled with sincerity. “You’re staying?”

  “Yes.” Katy looked at Dayne and her heart swelled. He was going to survive. More than that, he was going to recover. This was only the beginning. She turned back to her friend. “I won’t leave until he’s okay. However long that takes.”

  Ashley frowned. “You can’t stay here, Katy. You look like a wreck.” She surveyed the room. “You’re spending the nights here, in the chair?”

  “It reclines.” She patted the arms. “The nurses bring me pillows and blankets.”

  “But that’s not real sleep.”

  Katy nodded. She’d thought about this, even though it hurt. “If he doesn’t . . .” She stopped herself. “If we’re here much longer, I’ll start spending nights at a hotel.”

  Ashley looked torn. “I’d stay if I could. You know that.”

  “Of course.” She sat up straighter. This was h
er job, her watch. No one could do it but her. “You have Landon and the kids. I can’t believe you stayed this long.”

  “I wanted the whole family to be here. Erin. Kari and Brooke. Even Luke. So he’d know we’re all pulling for him.”

  Katy hesitated. “About Luke . . . have you talked to him?”

  “Only for a few minutes, the day after the accident.” Ashley looked uncomfortable. “Pray about him, will you? I’m not sure what’s wrong with him. He just took the bar exam, so he’s been under a lot of pressure. But still . . .”

  “You really think he might be struggling with having a brother?” Katy uttered the question before she remembered that Dayne might be listening.

  “He’s struggling.” Ashley glanced toward the hospital bed and shot Katy a look. “We’ll talk about it later. Just pray for him.”

  “I will.”

  Ashley’s eyes were damp again. “I can’t stay, but I’ll do whatever you need back home. CKT stuff, the new house—anything.”

  “Talk to Bethany about CKT. I won’t be there for fall tryouts—at least it doesn’t look like it. Anything you can do to fill in would be huge. And the house . . .” Katy looked out the window. “I have no idea what to do next.” She’d barely thought about it since the accident. They were in escrow, and already a home inspection had been done. Besides the obvious disrepair, the structure had only a small amount of wood rot and no termite infestation.

  Sometime this week Katy was scheduled to meet with the contractor who would oversee the renovation process. They were supposed to talk about windows and walls and doors and appliances. In their initial conversation Katy had learned that the process could take a year and that quality subcontractors in the area were hard to book, especially for renovations. She’d called around, but everyone she talked to said the same thing. There was no way the house could be fixed up by Thanksgiving.

  Katy explained all this to Ashley and then lifted her hands and let them fall on her lap. “It feels hopeless, honestly. I can’t ask you to work with the contractor. The process will take hours at a time. Besides, there are a million little decisions only Dayne and I could make.”

  Ashley wouldn’t let up. “Tell me. What’s your vision? What sort of doors and windows? What’s the feeling you’re looking for?”

  The question allowed Katy to dream for a moment. The break from worrying and praying about Dayne was like someone had opened a window in the boxy hospital room. For the next half hour, Katy shared her vision with Ashley. The way she had hoped for exposed wood beams on the inside and rugged natural tile on the floor in the kitchen and dining room. She talked about alpaca rugs and walnut cabinets and granite counters in browns and blacks.

  By the time John came back, both of them were giggling. “That’s what I like to hear.” He came closer. “What did I miss?”

  Ashley smiled. “We just renovated Katy and Dayne’s house in thirty minutes.”

  “The contractor says it’ll take a year.” Katy still felt weary. But the distraction was a good thing. “We figured out the entire job just like that.”

  The corners of Ashley’s lips fell. “Really, Dad, don’t you know someone who could get the work done sooner?”

  John looked at Dayne, and for a while he said nothing. Katy could guess what he was thinking. If Dayne didn’t come out of the coma soon, his recovery period would take months. Years even. There was certainly no rush getting the house fixed.

  But if that’s what he was thinking, he said nothing of the sort. Instead he gave a slow nod. “I know a few people. Elaine does too. She’s had some work done on her house.”

  At the mention of Elaine, Katy shifted her gaze to Ashley in time to see her friend bristle. More than once Ashley had shared that she didn’t want her father spending time with Elaine. According to Ashley, the woman was trying to move in on her dad, only a few years after her mother’s death. Ashley let the moment pass, but Katy was pretty sure Ashley would say something to John later.

  For now, Ashley only patted Katy’s hand. “I’ll make some calls. There has to be something we can do to get the place ready.”

  “I’m glad you’re still going through with it.” John walked to the edge of Dayne’s bed. “I was afraid you might change your mind.”

  Change her mind? About their dream house on the lake? The idea hurt too much to even think about. “No. I’ll never change my mind about that.”

  They talked a few more minutes about contractors and work that needed doing and how impossible the task felt to Katy.

  Then John checked the clock on the wall. “We have to get going.” All the time he’d been here, he hadn’t said more than a few words to Dayne. He’d been crucial in aiding communication between Dayne’s doctors and Ashley and Katy, but he’d kept much of his feelings to himself.

  Not now.

  John put his hand on the top of Dayne’s head and leaned over his son. “You’re going to get through this. I’ve talked to the doctors and . . . I’ve prayed for a miracle.” His voice filled with emotion. “It’s going to happen; I can feel it. We just need you to get out of here and show everyone how amazing God is.” He stroked Dayne’s forehead. “I never got to hold you or watch you take your first steps . . . or help you ride a bike. So we have a lot to make up for, Son. Hurry and wake up, okay?” He blinked and two tears slid down his cheeks. “I love you, Dayne. I’ve loved you since you were born.” He bent down and kissed Dayne’s forehead. With a last nod toward Katy, he left the room.

  It was Ashley’s turn. She took her place near the edge of the bed and angled her head. “We haven’t even had time to get to know each other.” She took hold of Dayne’s hand and lifted it a few inches off the bed. Katy tried not to notice how lifeless his fingers looked. Ashley had a cry in her voice when she continued. “Now listen, Dayne, you fight to get better, okay? God’s working a miracle here. I believe it and Katy believes it. We all do. Now . . . now you have to believe it too.”

  Katy’s eyes stung, and she blinked so her tears wouldn’t cloud her vision.

  “No matter what we’ve missed, you’re our brother. We have a lot to catch up on, so we need you back in Bloomington.” Ashley lowered herself over his bed a little more and brought his hand to her cheek. “We all love you, Dayne. We’ll keep praying.” She used her free hand to dab beneath her eyes. “I’m not saying good-bye, because . . . because we just said hello. Call me when you wake up, all right?”

  She held his hand to her cheek a moment longer, then carefully lowered his arm back to his side. Katy was on her feet by the time Ashley turned to her. They hugged again, both of them too emotional to speak.

  Finally, when Katy thought she could find enough air in her lungs, she whispered the only thing that had to be said. “Thank you. I couldn’t have survived this without you.”

  Ashley met Katy’s eyes. Her look said that there was still much ahead, much to survive. “I wish one of us could be here with you.”

  Katy shook her head. “I’ll be okay. You go take care of your family.”

  “I will.” Ashley gave her a final hug, and before she left the room she promised to call tonight.

  Katy watched her friend go. When the sound of her footsteps and John’s faded in the hallway, she turned back to Dayne. For an insane moment she wanted to crawl into bed beside him and take him in her arms. But nothing about such a move would’ve been appropriate.

  Instead she slid her fingers between his. The sensation wasn’t at all what she wanted it to be. His hand was cold and unresponsive, not what she was used to feeling when she and Dayne touched. She resisted the urge to pull away, and one heartbeat at a time her resolve grew.

  “Were you listening, Dayne?” She searched his closed eyes, his still face. “I meant what I said. Somehow we’re going to get the house fixed up, and you’re going to get better.” Her eyes filled again. A few tears fell onto Dayne’s sheet, but she held the sobs back. “You’re going to move to Bloomington, and we’re going to get married in the sprin
g.”

  Again she waited. Please let there be a sign, a slight movement, anything. Let me know You’re here, Lord, and that You’re healing him.

  She stared at the place where their hands were connected. Please . . . a twitch or a small bit of pressure. She held her breath, looking at his hand for any sign. But there was nothing. Her eyes moved to his, and she studied him, willing him to move. He looked like a person so deep in sleep that nothing could wake him.

  Then, as if God was directing her movements, Katy let her gaze settle on Dayne’s chest. She watched the subtle rise and fall, rise and fall, and suddenly she was filled with God’s peace. His presence. It had been only three days since the accident. Here, then, was sign enough. Not that Dayne was moving or twitching or coming out of the coma. Not that he could respond to anything she might say, even her deepest thoughts.

  But that he was breathing at all.

  Luke took the first open seat on the subway, settled back, and stared at the dirty rubber floor mat. Nothing about his life felt right, and here—on the fifteen-minute commute to their apartment—was the only time he could really think about it. The subway lurched into motion, and he grabbed hold of the silver pole on his left side.

  Ashley had been home for more than a week, and she’d called twice. The problem was, he didn’t feel like talking—not about Dayne, anyway. And Ashley hadn’t called to talk to him about anything else since they found out that Dayne was their brother. Especially since the accident.

  The familiar knots tightened in his gut. Guilt was certainly part of what he was dealing with. He’d heard about the crash on TV before he took the call from Ashley. Press had been at the scene of the accident, obviously. Of course the world would know before the actress Randi Wells decided to look through Dayne’s cell phone and find their father’s number. Luke had been sitting on the couch midday Saturday watching an NFL preseason special when the news bulletin had interrupted the program. He could still remember every word of what came next.