Life of the Dead Box Set [Books 1-5]

by Urban, Tony

  “Splat! Got to be quicker than that, pussy cat. Quicker than that if you want to avoid my truck,” Solomon Baldwin cackled.

  He checked the rearview mirror and saw a wet stain on the road behind him. That was all that remained of the old tom. He grinned and punched the horn.

  “Saw one. Pussy none.”

  He’d been on the road for days, running down anything in his path. That was mostly zombies. Seemed they were just about all that was left. But he’d taken out a groundhog earlier in the week and a squirrel a day ago. This was his first cat and that delighted him to no end.

  Gonna have to start me a log book, he thought.

  He caught his reflection in the mirror. The bullet hole in his forehead had scabbed over and turned black. He thought about picking it off, God knew the fucker itched like a dirty asshole, but remembered how his brains had poked out of that hole, like a gopher popping its head out of its burrow, and decided to let the scab alone. Might be keeping me brains from leaking out, he reasoned.

  He’d been driving for hours and needed a rest. Shortly after he passed into West Virginia he saw road signs declaring “Scenic Overlook” and he decided to see what the fuss was about.

  After passing through a thicket of oak trees, he emerged at a wooden platform which overlooked a sprawling lake.

  Not that special.

  Still, he needed to work the cramps out of his legs and arms so he paced back and forth for a while. As he prepared to leave, he saw a gleaming white dot reflecting atop the water. It moved fast and even, making a direct line toward the island.

  “Well I’ll be…”

  Saw realized the dot was a boat. He sat down and watched until it reached the island where movement ceased. He assumed that whoever was driving it docked the boat and got off, but he was at least three miles away and seeing those kinds of details were impossible. Nonetheless, his curiosity had been piqued.

  After returning to his truck, Saw drove until he found an outdoor hobby shop a few towns away. There he gathered together some supplies, like hatchets, knives, and maps, but the prize he sought was a telescope.

  He loaded up the biggest one he could find and returned to the overlook. After setting up the scope, he could clearly see the island and what he discovered changed everything. Up until that moment, he’d thought that the world had ended, that he was the only one left alive. Those thoughts had turned his normally jolly mood sour. Saw couldn’t imagine living out the rest of his days all alone, without anyone else around to taunt or torment. That would be the most boring thing he could imagine. And a bored Solomon Baldwin was very dangerous.

  Now, on this island, he saw not just a person or two, but a veritable town filled with them. Saw unfolded a map and marked his current coordinates, as well as those of the island. He also highlighted all the roads leading to the lake. He wasn’t going there today or tomorrow, or even next week, but he’d be back. This looked like too much fun to pass up.

  Chapter 15

  After fleeing The Greenbrier and the chaos that broke free from the underground bunker, Aben let Juli drive. Every now and again he directed her to make a right or left but he mostly sat in the passenger seat and allowed her to choose their destiny. The dog sat in the foot well alternating between curling up on his feet and sitting on its haunches and resting its head in his lap. Scratching the mutt’s tan ears took his mind off Bolivar’s death, at least to some extent. He couldn’t shake the feeling that it should have been him. Bolivar was a good guy. Smart and calm and resourceful. A man with a purpose. This world needed men like him. Not homeless bums with one hand and a sour attitude.

  “Where should we go now?”

  Aben glanced over at Juli when he realized the voice was hers. She looked exhausted and a decade older than her 40-some years. He felt guilty for making her drive all this time, but not guilty enough to take over the duties.

  “Huh?”

  Juli pointed to the road ahead and Aben realized they were stopped at a Y intersection. A road sign informed them one fork would take them south, the other west.

  “You don’t have an opinion?”

  Juli shrugged her shoulders. “I’ve never been further south than Myrtle Beach.”

  “You didn’t miss much.”

  “So, west then?”

  “Seems as good a choice as any.”

  It turned out not to be.

  They were halfway across a bridge the signs had labeled the New River Gorge. It was one of the longest, and highest, bridges Aben had ever seen. A Chevy pickup had collided with a tour bus, blocking their lane and Juli stopped the car a few yards before it.

  “Now what?” She asked.

  “Turn around, I suppose.”

  In the back-seat Mitch popped his door open. “Bullshit. All we got to do is move one of ‘em. I need to stretch my legs anyway.”

  And with that he was out of the car. The dog bounded after and Juli looked to Aben for an opinion he didn’t have. She sighed and followed the others. Aben stayed behind and watched.

  Mitch jumped up on the running board of the pickup and climbed into the vacant driver’s seat. He looked down, then yelled out, “No keys!”

  Juli was halfway between their Saab and the truck. “Shift it into neutral and I’ll try to push it with the car.”

  Mitch did so, but when he exited the truck he peered over the hood to where the body was pinned against the concrete median. “Fucker’s wedged in pretty tight. Let me check the bus.”

  Aben watched him but lost sight when Mitch disappeared around the front of the extra-long vehicle. As he tried to find the kid, he saw movement behind the dark, smoked glass windows of the bus.

  Did I really see that? He couldn’t be sure. The windows were almost black. He strained his eyes, squinting. And then he saw it again. Someone was in there. Or something.

  Aben jumped out of the car and jogged toward the bus just in time to see Mitch slam his shoulder against the inward folding door.

  “Wait!’

  Mitch glanced his way but the door had already opened. “What?”

  A silver-haired zombie tumbled down the steps and out the door, hitting Mitch in the back as she fell. The boy crashed to the ground, the woman on his back. He rolled onto his side knocking her off then jumped to his feet and backed away. As he did, he peered into the bus.

  “Oh, fucking shit…”

  Juli had been focusing on the truck and the sound of the commotion drew her toward the men. “What’s going on?”

  She got there just in time to see a small horde of zombies streaming out of the bus. All of them were sixty plus years old and Aben realized it must have been a sightseeing tour, silver riders or whatever the hell those things were called. What a shitty road trip they ended up with. Talk about deserving a refund.

  “Juli, get back to the car!”

  She hesitated, took another look, then ran. Aben was already there when she got back, but he didn’t plan to stay. He grabbed his hammer. Juli caught his sleeve as he moved past her. “You’re crazy if you try to fight them with that. There’s too many.”

  Aben didn’t respond. After all, she was right. Instead he returned to the bus where five of the zombies had Mitch surrounded.

  He swung the maul hammer and crushed the head of a woman whose perm was so tight it probably doubled as a face lift. Then he smashed in the face of a man who sported the kind of flat top crew cut only worn by old veterans.

  Mitch grappled with a skinny broad who wore a “Ask grandma, she’ll say yes” t-shirt. The kid grabbed her by the hair, which proceeded to pop off her head. He stared at it quizzically, not realizing it was a wig. Aben brought the hammer down on the back of her nearly bald skull.

  More zombies had bunched around them. Fifteen, maybe sixteen. Aben knew the only reason they were still alive was because they were of the slower, clumsier variety. But even with that advantage, they were far outnumbered.

  Two of the creatures grabbed his good arm. Mitch snatched the maul from his h
and and used it to smack one of them in the face. Its upper lip folded inward with a wet, stomach turning crunch and it lost its grip on Aben. Then, Aben spun sideways, grabbed the other creature and threw it over the edge of the bridge. The almost 900 feet fall was long and he didn’t watch all of it. Immediately, he turned and grabbed the maul back from Mitch. More zombies had arrived on the scene.

  Aben heard an engine roar, then looked past the zombies and saw Juli leaning out the car window.

  “Get back!” She screamed.

  Aben turned to Mitch. “Go on three.”

  Mitch nodded and Aben held up one finger. Then two. Mitch ran. Little prick. Aben followed, dashing head and shoulders down pushing through the pack of zombies. Just as they cleared them, they heard the tires squeal as Juli laid rubber and vaulted the car forward.

  It plowed into the old, undead travelers. Most bounced off like tennis balls. Several fell and the car rolled up and over them, the tires spinning as they ripped away their flesh and sent black blood spewing. The car rocked and bounced and by the time it hit the bus, its forward momentum had almost ceased.

  Juli climbed out the door and looked back to where a trail of destroyed and wounded zombies laid in the wake she’d left behind. Some were missing arms and legs, but still crawled toward a potential hot meal.

  Aben made quick work of them. The maul crumbled their heads like empty soda cans and within a minute he’d finished them off.

  Juli grabbed his hand as he led her across the carnage, her feet sliding in the gore like she was trying to walk on ice.

  “Holy shit, lady! That was awesome!” Mitch said as he looked at the bodies. He didn’t notice the zombie coming up behind him. It was a tall, gaunt man in a Cincinnati Reds hat and his hands grabbed hold of Mitch’s greasy mop of hair before he even knew it was happening.

  The boy struggled to break free but the zombie had a solid grip. It leaned down, its mouth open and drooling saliva which spilled onto the teen’s head. Aben was fifteen feet away, too far to get there before the zombie would have already sunk its teeth into him. He was ready to try anyway when he saw the dog bounding toward them. He had an idea.

  “Duck!”

  Mitch stared at him, his wide eyes full of fear. “What?”

  “I said duck, you dumb son of a bitch!”

  Mitch dropped to his knees and between his unwashed oily hair and the zombie’s own drool, he slipped free just as the dog hit the creature’s chest. The Reds fan stumbled back one step, then another. That’s when it hit the barrier. It was far too tall and top heavy to recover its balance and the zombie did a backward swan dive off the bridge.

  Mitch turned to watch it fall. When it hit, a crazed grin spread across his face. “Take that motherfucker!” His words echoed through the chasm. The dog licked at Mitch’s hands in a ‘hey, don’t forget me’ gesture and the teen scratched its neck, almost giddy. “Good dog. That’s a good fucking dog!”

  There were a few zombies left and Aben took care of them. Juli had been trying to start the car with no luck and Mitch’s examination of the bus found no keys.

  “So, what do we do now, man?” Mitch asked.

  “Walk,” Aben said.

  He helped Juli get Grady out of the car and over the bodies, then they crossed the remainder of the bridge on foot. Aben knew the others weren’t fond walking, but he much preferred it.

  Chapter 16

  The trio and the dog had walked five or so miles when Juli smelled it. She told herself it was her imagination, but the more time past, the worse it got. The smell, was shit and it was coming from Grady.

  The small, silent man had kept a steady pace as long as Juli led him by the hand. When the smell became too strong to ignore, she risked a glance at the tops of his shoes, crisp white sneakers that she had found for him at the Greenbrier a few days earlier, were covered in brown liquid with small chunks mixed in for good measure.

  Aben had taken the lead and was five yards ahead. She thought it strange but the man seemed different now, more confident. Like somehow being inside a car handicapped him. Mitch was beside him, as was the dog.

  “Aben,” she said, the word coming out as a whisper. He didn’t respond and she repeated herself, louder. “Aben?”

  He looked back this time. “What is it?”

  Juli turned to Grady. “Wait right here.” He didn’t respond as she let go of his hand and moved toward the others. She beckoned Aben closer with her finger. She didn’t want Mitch to overhear this. There was something cruel about the boy. Maybe it was just the cocky arrogance of adolescence, but she knew he’d howl over Grady’s predicament if he found out.

  “He…” She glanced back at Grady who stood exactly as she’d left him. “He had an accident.”

  Aben looked at him, curious. “What kind of accident?”

  Juli saw Mitch looking at them and leaned closer to Aben. “The kind that happens in your pants.”

  Aben furrowed his brow at first. Then it hit him. “Oh. Oh!”

  “He’ll need cleaned up. Can we stop at the next house we come to?”

  “Of course.”

  Aben returned to the lead. Juli heard Mitch ask him, “What was that about?”

  “None of your concern,” Aben said.

  She appreciated that and had a feeling Aben was a man she could trust. At least, she hoped.

  The next house was almost half a mile away. It was a rambling, unkempt ranch with blue shutters and dirty yellow siding, but it would do. Aben took it upon himself to see whether the house was empty. It was.

  Juli took a bowl from the kitchen cabinets and there was enough water remaining in the lines to fill it. She led Grady into the bathroom and undressed him. Juli had raised two children and changed more than her share of dirty diapers along the way. But she’d never had to clean a man before. The experience was more embarrassing than anything else. Fortunately, Grady sat there, motionless and silent as a statue, while she scrubbed the feces from his cracks and folds, out of his fine, almost white pubic hair.

  “There,” she said upon completion. “All better. You were a good boy.”

  She was aware that she was treating this man like a child, but didn’t know how else to behave. She wondered if he’d ever speak to her. Or speak at all, for that matter. Who knows, maybe he’s better off like this, not having to remember what he’s lost and see what’s become of the world.

  Juli raided the bedroom closet and found pants and shirts that didn’t fit well, but were close enough for him. She dressed him like he was her very own life-sized Ken doll, then fed him some of the baby food they’d taken from the car before abandoning it.

  Aben and Mitch slept in separate rooms, while Juli put Grady to bed in the master. She considered leaving, but thought it safer to stay close. She laid beside him, their bodies fitting together like stackable Tupperware. Only $39.99 on the Home Shopping Network. She wondered if Donald had survived the plague. As she drifted to sleep, she hoped so.

  Chapter 17

  An overturned pick up blocked the road. Saw considered ramming it out of the way but knew it would get caught up on the rebar spikes and he’d have a hell of a time getting free of it. He grabbed a tow rope from the rescue kit he kept tucked under the seat and jumped down from the cab.

  As he looped the rope around the axle, he heard the shuffling feet on the roadway.

  Bugger me.

  He’d left the sledgehammer, along with his pistol, in the dump truck and didn’t have any weapons on him. If it had been just one set of feet dragging he wouldn’t have been as concerned but there were several.

  When he turned around, he saw four zombies between himself and his dump truck. There was one woman and three men, including one rotund, football-shaped fellow who looked to be half again Saw’s size.

  The idea of running didn’t occur to him. Solomon Baldwin wasn’t a runner, he was a fighter. As they closed within ten feet of him he removed the tow rope from the crashed pick up and held it in his hands, the metal h
ook dangling from the end. He rocked it back and forth, building up momentum.

  “Come closer, mates. Saw’s got a surprise for you.”

  The zombies did close in. The first in line was a teenage boy who had the long, lean body of an athlete. He was two yards away when Saw swung the rope. The metal hook arced through the air and slammed into the boy’s face, destroying a set of teeth so perfect they could only have been shaped with the help of braces. The teen went down in a heap and Saw slammed a booted foot on the back of his neck. He felt the ensuing crunch all the way up his body and that set his pulse racing.

  He pulled the tow rope in close again, twirling it round and round. The next zombie in line was the lone female of the group. She had a Pittsburgh Pirates baseball cap pulled down low on her forehead, almost covering her dull eyes. Her strawberry blonde hair was pulled into a ponytail which poked free from the back of the hat.

  Saw thought about saying something he perceived as clever. Maybe ‘batter up’, but that seemed a little too much. Instead he swung the rope overhead like it was a lasso. It whipped through the air and the metal hook smashed into the side of her face, knocking the cap askew. Saw thought she looked a bit like a wannabe rapper. A rapper with her head crumpled inward just above her ear. She took two staggering steps, then hit the ground.

  He’d been so busy watching the end of her that he didn’t realize the other two zombies were on each side of him. To his left was an old man in a canary yellow button-down shirt and green polyester pants. The football-shaped giant was to his right.

  Saw tried to use the tow rope but they were too close to build up any momentum. He choked up on it, grabbing the hook in his fist like it was a sixth finger. He spun toward the giant and lashed upward with the hook. It poked a hole in the soft flesh under its jaw and the hook curved out its open mouth like a metal tongue.