Gunner: An Eidolon Black Ops Novel

by Maddie Wade

  Lacey sat up and moved to hand the baby back to his mother. “Roz, I don’t think this is a good idea.”

  “It’s a perfect idea. Gunner seems hell-bent on sabotaging whatever you two have.”

  Gunner crossed his arms to keep from reaching for Lacey. “I think you’ll find Blake did that.”

  “Blake was a dick, and he knows it, but you’re no better. Not fighting for Lacey when you appear to care about her.”

  “I do care.” He could feel his jaw flex so hard he thought it might crack.

  “Prove it, tell her.”

  Gunner saw Lacey fighting to hold on to her emotions and cursed Roz for interfering.

  “Excuse me. I need to use the ladies room.” Lacey rushed past him, her scent leaving a hole in his heart as she swept past without even looking at him, Skye rushing after her. He itched to go after her, to hold her and tell her it would be okay, that he would fight her demons, but he was her demon in that minute, and that was like a stake through his chest.

  “That was out of line, Roz.”

  “Was it? Because to me, it seemed like the perfect time for you to tell her that the only reason you let those men hurt Pax was because they had a gun to your sisters head.”

  He’d no intention of reliving those brutal minutes watching Pax get hurt knowing physically he could stop it, but it would end up with Milla getting hurt in ways he couldn’t allow.

  “It still happened, Roz, and I can’t expect Lacey to accept that.”

  Roz softened her face as much as she could, and for a second, he could see what Kanan saw in the force of nature that was Roz.

  “Lacey needs to realise that life isn’t black and white, it has shades of grey with shadows, and that’s where men like you live. Pax doesn’t blame you now she knows the truth, and Lacey needs to understand that.”

  “Lacey needs to get on with her life and forget me.”

  Roz threw up her hand in frustration. “Honestly, you can’t educate stupid. Fine, go. Leave and let the best thing that ever happened to you walk away without a fight. Show her that she isn’t even worth that.”

  Roz turned from him, dismissing him as her son began to fuss. Gunner didn’t hang around, instead of heading out into the hallway and looking for where Lacey might have gone. Seeing the ladies room door, he headed that way and without thinking walked inside, glad it was empty except for Lacey and Skye.

  Lacey’s tear-filled eyes met his in the mirror, and he saw her lip wobble and could no more hold back from taking her in his arms than he could stop breathing. Striding forward he pulled Lacey from Skye and wrapped his arms around her. Her body moulded to his, the soft curves made to fit him as she grasped his shirt at the chest and buried her head in his neck just under his chin.

  In that time and place, it was as if everything that was wrong became right with the world. He held her while she cried and saw Skye slip from the room leaving the two of them alone. His guilt at bringing her to this place wrecked him, and he’d do anything to stop her tears.

  “Please don’t cry, Cosmo. You’re killing me here.”

  His words seemed to have the opposite effect, and she cried harder.

  “Do you want me to go?” It would kill him, but if it were what she wanted, he’d leave and hand her over into the arms of her best friend and her husband.

  Relief flooded him when she shook her head and sobbed. “No.”

  “Tell me what’s wrong and I’ll fix it.” Gunner knew he was making promises he may not be able to keep, but right now, he’d make a bargain with the devil to keep her tears at bay. She mumbled something against his chest, the vibrations making his dick harden and then he felt like an asshole for thinking about sex when she was so upset.

  Gunner pulled back, wrapping his hand around her ponytail, and tugging her head back so he could hear her properly and caught sight of the tear stains on her cheeks. “I didn’t hear that, Cosmo. What did you say?”

  Her cheeks went pretty pink. “I got my period.”

  It took him a second to realise what her words meant, and when they registered, he had the biggest feeling of grief swamp him for what might have been.

  Her tears gave him hope. “And this made you cry?”

  Lacey swiped at her face, and he gently pushed her fingers aside so he could soak up her tears with his lips. He’d kiss away her tears for a lifetime if things had been different.

  “I guess this was my last chance and I know I shouldn’t admit this, especially to you, but I wanted us to have made a baby. That is so fucked up, isn’t it?”

  Gunner lifted his head from her cheeks. “No, not at all. I feel sad, too. A child with you would’ve been the best thing to ever happen to me. My son or daughter would’ve been blessed to have you as a mother.”

  “I thought you’d be relieved.”

  “No, not relieved, Cosmo, but for you, this may be for the best. Now you have a clean slate and can do anything you want to do without me like a noose around your neck.”

  “Don’t say that.” She gripped his biceps as her sadness receded, and he saw her fight return.

  He loved Lacey in all her different moods but when she got that look in her eye it took everything in him not to lay her on the floor of this public ladies’ room and fuck her silly.

  Gunner released her from his hold and stepped back to grab her some tissues, not trusting himself to hold her a second longer without falling to his knees and begging her to forgive him.

  “Here.” He handed her the tissues, and she turned to the mirror and gasped at the black smudges of mascara under her eyes.

  “Argh, I look like a racoon.”

  Gunner’s lips tipped up at the corner. “A beautiful racoon.”

  Lacey caught his eyes in the glass. “Is that even a thing?”

  Gunner shrugged as he shoved his hands in his pockets. “If it is you got it down.”

  He looked at his feet not wanting to leave but not having a reason to stay now she’d got herself under control.

  “Gunner?”

  His eyes met hers as she turned toward him. “Yes?”

  “What did Roz mean about telling me?”

  Gunner shook his head. “It doesn’t matter. It won’t change anything.” He couldn’t allow himself to get his hopes up that she might find a way to forgive him.

  Lacey stepped forward and brushed his forearm with her fingers, and it sent blood straight to his cock. “Will you tell me anyway? Please?”

  He could no more deny her than walk on the moon.

  Gunner took her hand and kissed the tips of her fingers. “I’ll tell you but not here. How about I come around later, and we can talk?”

  “I’d like that.”

  His phone ringing broke the spell he found himself under, and he took it from his pocket seeing Bás’s name. “I have to take this, but shall I come over around seven and bring takeout?”

  Lacey nodded. “Sounds good.”

  Gunner wanted to kiss her, but he didn’t have the right anymore, so he dipped his head, squeezed her hand to let her know how much her wanting to know meant to him and left. He passed Skye on the way out and stopped beside her and Nate.

  Skye was watching him warily, and he didn’t blame her. She’d had Lacey’s back more than anyone else, and he was so glad for it.

  “Jack tell you about Carmine?”

  Nate looked at Skye who paled. “Yeah, he told me.”

  “I’m coming over to see Lacey tonight. We need to talk, and I have some explaining to do. Let me tell her?”

  Nate cocked his head as if assessing him and then nodded. “Fine.”

  “You’ll stay with her until she’s covered?”

  “Of course. Lacey is family to me.”

  The warning was clear. Nate was his friend, but Lacey was more than that, and he’d kick Gunner’s ass if he hurt her again. Gunner lifted his chin to acknowledge the silent unsaid threat, even respecting it and left.

  Chapter 17

  Lacey closed the doo
r and slid the lock into place. Today had been an emotional rollercoaster, and she needed a couple of hours to get herself together before Gunner came over. She hadn’t planned for this. Holding Deacon and then Gunner arriving had been a lot but then going to the bathroom and finding out her period had arrived had felt like a blow.

  Turning to Gunner had been the most natural thing in the world, the feel of his arms instantly making her feel stronger and more able to cope but it also made her miss him more and question her decision to turn her back on him so quickly.

  Like the true gentleman he was, he hadn’t made her work for it when she’d asked if they could talk, he’d simply accepted it. Lacey shivered a little as the cooler air that had blown through earlier this week tickled her neck.

  She loved this house but the feeling of safety that she’d had when she’d bought it wasn’t the same now that someone had been inside it. Everything felt tainted even though she knew there was no way it could be Carmine.

  Deciding to take a bath to try and relax, Lacey turned on the tap in her master bath and poured some of the honey milk bubbles under it, watching as the steam rose fragrant with the scent. Undressing, she pulled her hair back into a bun on her head and pulled up a relaxing playlist on her phone.

  The jitters in her belly were from too much stress, and it dawned on her she could finally have a glass of wine which was precisely what the doctor ordered. She didn’t need to get completely pissed, but a nice buzz might take the edge off. Turning off the water, she ran downstairs and grabbed a glass and bottle of Riesling from the fridge before taking it back upstairs.

  Pouring a decent sized glass, she shed her robe and sunk down into the water, hitting play on her iPhone, and letting the sounds of Lewis Capaldi and the fruity German wine relax her tight muscles.

  The light from outside was still bright as the last day of August drifted away, and she knew it would be thoughts of summer which consumed her now. Her brain was always out of sync with the seasons, looking forward to whatever line she would create next.

  Cocking her head, she froze as she heard a sound in the bedroom. Her heart began to hammer in her chest as her belly clenched and she froze, unable to move. Listening intently for the sound to come again, she let out a loud breath and laughed when she heard the sounds of the immersion heater clicking on.

  This was her first bath in the house since she’d bought it, preferring showers until now and she must have emptied the tank, meaning the heater kicked in. She heard danger where there was none. Her relaxing bath now ruined, she got out and wrapped a towel around her body before entering the bedroom.

  Drying off quickly she put on some yoga pants, and a vest top and went downstairs, her glass still in her hand. Placing it on the kitchen island, she got out her sketch pad and went back into the living room and curled up on the couch to sketch out some ideas for a boy’s summer range.

  It was hard not to picture Deacon when she did it, the cute bundle enough to inspire anyone. Her phone rang, and she smiled to see Taamira’s name. The princess had become a good friend in the last few weeks, often showing up when Liam was on duty to work on designs with her.

  “Hey, Taamira.”

  “Hello, Lacey, I hope I am not disturbing you?”

  Lacey placed the pad on the sofa by her feet and took a sip of wine. “Of course not. What can I do for you?” Lacey had learned that Taamira never called unless there was a reason.

  “Well, I was wondering if you would be interested in a girl’s night next week with Evelyn, Callie, Pax, Autumn, and me? Nothing fancy. It will be at my place and each of us brings a dish we made.”

  “I don’t know. This sounds very much like a wives or girlfriend’s thing.”

  “Oh, please say you’ll come.”

  “Did Pax put you up to this?”

  Silence met her and Lacey had her answer.

  “Yes, but I was going to ask anyway. We would really love you to come. Please say yes?”

  Lacey considered it. She had no idea what would come of this conversation with Gunner, but she owed it to herself to make this new life work and that involved embracing every opportunity that came her way, especially when it was the hand of friendship.

  “Fine, are we going healthy or full-on food porn?”

  Taamira laughed. “Let’s go food porn.”

  “Okay sounds good, text me the details.”

  “I will, and, Lacey? Just, just so you know, I’m team Lunner.”

  Lacey laughed and shook her head. “Have you been drinking, Taamira?”

  “No silly, I don’t drink. I mean I’m team Gunner and Lacey.”

  “There are teams?”

  “Well kind of, most seem to be team Lunner actually.”

  “What is the alternative?”

  “Alternative?”

  “To Lunner?”

  “Oh, that. Well, there isn’t really one. It’s just those that are for and against.”.

  Lacey couldn’t believe her ears.

  “Who is against us?”

  “I don’t want to say in case you get mad.”.

  “I won’t get mad. Now, tell me.”

  “Fine. Astrid thinks you’re crazy if you take him on, and so does Mustique.”

  Lacey’s heart was beating ten to the dozen now. “Did they say why?”

  “Just that they thought he was too broken. I don’t think that. I think you two are perfect for each other, but you know Astrid, she isn’t really a commitment person.”

  “He isn’t broken, he’s just a little banged up.” Lacey realised she believed that in her heart.

  “Exactly, and God knows he has reason to be after what he has been through. Liam was so angry when this first happened, but now he feels bad for not being the friend he should have been.”

  Lacey steered the conversation away from Gunner, wanting to make up her own mind about what he told her later and not be persuaded by well-meaning friends. She wanted him, loved him there was no doubt about that, but was it enough?

  Noticing it was now dark, she realised she’d lost track of time and it was nearing eight. Her phone dinged, and she saw a text from Gunner saying he’d be an hour late and asking if that was okay.

  She texted back saying it was and then settled to watch The Crown on television. Thirty minutes later, she heard the screech of tyres and sat up quickly. Lacey heard shouting and then saw a flash of light as a window smashed in her living room, and a bottle exploded into flames, everything catching on fire around her within seconds.

  Lacey stumbled to her feet when another bottle came from the other side and exploded, knocking her back into the coffee table where she hit her head. The pain made her vision blur as smoke began to engulf the room, and then gunshots echoed around her. Coughing, she tried to move forward but was frightened in case she got hit by a stray bullet. Liam was on duty with Waggs tonight, and she knew they had their hands full outside. She had to get herself out of this one.

  Crawling with tears and blood dripping down her face, she headed for the door, not caring about the glass cutting into her palms or knees. The smoke would kill her before the cuts, or the fire would.

  Holding her arm in front of her face, she tried to take a breath as flames licked up her living room curtains and spreading so fast it made her head spin. Bumping into something she cried when she realised that in the dark she’d gone in a full circle and was back near the table rather than being closer to the door. Dizziness hit her, and Lacey realised that she was completely disoriented.

  Blackness began to close in, and she knew that without help, she wasn’t getting out of there alive.

  Chapter 18

  Gunner arrived back at Eidolon around seven-thirty. He hadn’t wanted to come in, but the information Bás had given him needed to be passed on to the team so they could make a clear plan of how to proceed. Shooting a quick text to Lacey asking if he could come by later, he felt terrible for messing her around. After all, she was giving him a chance nobody else had.

&
nbsp; Her instant reply made him smile, and the tension in his shoulders eased. Walking into the gym, he saw Blake, and not wanting to get into things with him turned on his heel and started to walk away. He hadn’t seen Blake since the incident a week ago, and that suited him fine. Jack had called and made it clear that as far as he was concerned his place on the team was still there for him.

  Gunner wasn’t so sure. Eidolon ran so well because they were like family. They fought, but the trust that nobody could break was there. He no longer had that, and what was more, he didn’t feel it either—at least not from Blake. He understood it, but until they cleared that up, he’d left making a decision about his future on hold.

  Blake had reached out to him, but he’d let it go to voicemail not wanting to engage when he felt so raw himself. He knew Blake had been looking for him too but wasn’t ready to face him. Alex had finally found him in the Litch, drunk off his ass and gotten him a hotel room to sober up in. Gunner was still staying there now although he’d never admit it.

  “Gunner, wait up.” He wanted to ignore the plea from his former friend, but he owed him this at least. Gunner didn’t really blame Blake, had this been Lacey he would have lost his mind. Stopping he waited for Blake to jog up to him. He had his kitbag over his shoulder and had obviously been using the gym earlier. “I don’t have a lot of time.”

  “I understand. I just wanted to say how sorry I was for my behaviour. I still struggle with what happened to her and knowing I wasn’t there. It’s no excuse but for what it’s worth, I know you couldn’t have made a different choice. I have sisters, and there is nothing I wouldn’t do for them. It was an impossible situation, and I only wish we could go back and we’d known about her.”

  Gunner wanted to stay mad but in the face of such a genuine apology, he couldn’t. He looked away and blew out a breath. “Look I get it. I do, and honestly, I would be the same. I don’t care that you lashed out at me, I’m fair game, but Lacey isn’t.”

  “Understood. We good?”

  Blake held his hand out, and Gunner looked at it before taking the peace offering. What Blake said was right; he’d allowed this to happen by withholding Milla’s existence from his friends. Had they known, this wouldn’t have happened. He could’ve put proper safety protocols in place like the other men had for those they loved.