by Debbie Civil
Chapter 5
Good morning Lena,” Jose greeted as I walked into the kitchen. He was at the table, eating a bowl of oatmeal. It took everything not to glower at him.
“Hi.” That was all he was getting out of me.
“Are you well enough to go to school?” Obviously. I was dressed in a turtleneck and jeans, and my coat was slung over my arm. Where did he think I was going?
“Yes. Where’s Rowan?”
“She took the day off. She went to the store to pick up wedding magazines. We’re getting married in six weeks.” His smile was wide and peaceful. But something about it nagged at me to the point that I wanted to punch something. How could he? Rowan had been in love with him for ten years. He went through half of the women in town and then some, and now he wanted her? I couldn’t believe that this was happening.
“That’s nice. I’m glad that you finally noticed her.” He placed his cup on the table and folded his arms across his chest.
“Lena, you don’t know everything, trust me. Rowan and I are very complicated.”
“Complicated? Maybe your interest in other women did that to your relationship.” His look was a patient one when he said, “I don’t expect you to understand, Lena. Nothing is how it seems.” After giving me that explanation, his eyes landed on an envelope in the center of the island. “That came for you.” I reached for it and opened the envelope and discovered that it was a letter. I sighed and winced at its contents.
Jessalena,
Things will happen. You will be provoked. You need to be fed by your anger. It will make you stronger. I tossed the letter in the trash and yawned. Daisy and I were going to have a little chat. If she was sending me encouraging letters again, I would order her not to waste the paper. “Rowan didn’t think that you would be going to school, so she didn’t make you any oatmeal.” That was fine by me. Eating was an impossibility at that moment. My older cousin was rushing her wedding along because she didn’t think that I was going to be alive to see it. She was settling for a complete jerk because of me. I nodded at my future in law in understanding, slipped into my coat and decided to wait for Elias outside.
“Lena, how are you feeling?” Calim inquired as soon as I slid into the back seat.
“I’m feeling great. I’m sorry that I ruined your night,” I apologized. Elias rested a reassuring hand on my shoulder.
“You didn’t ruin anything, slugger,” Elias gently said, but his words only made me sour. Yeah right. I was nothing but a huge burden to everyone.
“So, Lena, are you excited that you’re Elias’ partner for the English film? Because Elias was saying that you’re really smart and you both could ace it.” Ryan’s question only reminded me about our quiz in calculus.
“Oh no, we have a quiz in calculus,” I squeaked. “I didn’t get the notes from you.” Ryan handed back a notebook and Elias grabbed it and placed it on my lap.
“Here. Everything is here,” Elias smirked. “I’m more than confident that you will pass. Trust me.”
After leafing through the spiral notebook, I came to one conclusion, I would use Elias Hayden’s notes again.
Daisy sat beside me doodling in her notebook, and more people were smiling at her. Something changed while I was sleeping snugly in bed. But the quiz was coming up soon, I needed to study.
“Daisy,” Cora called, shooting us a wide smile. “Did Christina apologize to you?”
“Yes. She even invited me to her eighteenth birthday party,” Daisy answered as Cora sat beside her. Madison Twist also joined us, which made me smile.
“Apologize for what?” I inquired because it was clear that something happened. Why else was Cora sitting with us again?
“For spray painting your lockers. We…”
“Christina Johnson was the one that did that? I can’t believe this,” I snapped.
“She’s sorry. I think she was trying to defend me. But we all understand that it was a misunderstanding,” Cora said.
“I didn’t get an apology.” I know, studying should have been my number one priority. But this irked me. Christina Johnson humiliated me just because she could.
“Chill out, Lena. She explained everything to me. It’s cool,” Daisy said, patting my back. Something wasn’t right. I stared at the girls at the table but couldn’t read any of their faces.
“So, did you guys see Elias Hayden today? He looks even hotter,” Madison Twist purred.
“He’s a nice guy. He…”
“Um, no offense, Lena, but don’t bother,” Daisy said, cutting me off. Her eyes filled with warning.
“What do you mean?” I asked, confused.
“I mean, that you shouldn’t get your hopes up. I saw the way you looked at Elias at the mall last night. You like him. But remember that he doesn’t feel the same way about you. He views you as charity,” Daisy lectured. And something about her words really pissed me off. I shoved Elias’ notebook in my binder and walked out of the room before announcements even started. The benefit to being sick was that the teachers in charge of the senior home room wouldn’t stop me from leaving. Deciding that it was best to act as naturally as possible, I headed to the bathroom. It was empty. I hopped up onto the heating vent and considered my options. Daisy and Cora were both self-absorbed. They weren’t real friends, but I didn’t have anyone else. That wasn’t true, Kevin and Sadie were good to me. Sadie would have been ecstatic if she found out that I had been shopping with a boy. But Daisy… Who knew what she was really feeling?
“Are you going to sit here all day? Or maybe you’re going to tell me what’s wrong?” I looked up and frowned at Elias.
“This is the girl’s bathroom,” I protested.
“You’re crying.” His statement caused me to touch my face, and sure enough, it was wet.
“Oh, I didn’t feel them.” My comment made Elias flinch as if my confession caused him pain. He walked over to the napkin dispenser and grabbed some paper towels. After wetting them, he handed the wad to me. I wiped at my face, my stomach quivering with anger.
“Will you please tell me what happened?” Before I could answer, Elias flung himself into a stall and quickly closed the door. Moments later, a girl rushed in, checked her makeup, spotted me, and hurried out. After a minute or so, my friend strolled out of the stall and washed his hands. “Couldn’t you have picked a more sanitary hideout?” he complained.
“You didn’t have to follow me,” I argued. His blue eyes focused on mine, and the emotions in them confused me.
“Of course I did. You’re my friend, and you’re upset. I want to be there for you. Now tell me what’s wrong.” Hell no! It would have been too awkward to tell Elias that Daisy said that I had no shot with him because he viewed me as a charity case. How would that go over? What if he did tell me that he felt sorry for me and wanted to be nice? What if Elias was only being kind because he knew that my days were numbered?
“Jose and Rowan are getting married.” That was news that wouldn’t be awkward to share. Elias’ mouth flopped open, and he shook his head vigorously. “I overheard his heartfelt proposal. I was eavesdropping.” The rest of the details spilled from my mouth, and Elias sighed.
“She wants a quick engagement because she’s afraid that you won’t live long enough through a long one?” His tone was laced with agitation.
“Yes. And that makes me feel horrible, Elias. I’m nothing but a burden. I…” My voice shook, and tears began falling down my face. I blinked to escape the blurriness, but it wasn’t working. Elias’ arms closed around me, and he stood between my legs. His scent was soothing, and his arms were strong.
“Sssshhh... Don’t cry, Lena. You aren’t a burden. People care about you. If anything, we all feel helpless because all we want to do is help you. Please, believe me, Lena, no one views you as a burden.” His words, his proximity, and his embrace cause the melancholy to evaporate. Elias gave the best hugs ever. He quickly flew into a stall and closed it right before the door swung op
en. Daisy and Cora entered their expressions concerned.
“Are you sick again, Lena?” Cora asked with her face scrunching up.
“No, she’s upset by what I said,” Daisy told her friend.
“No, I’m not.” My quick response wasn’t enough to derail her.
“What?” Cora asked as if she couldn’t remember what Daisy had said.
“I’m over that. You’re right.” Maybe if I agreed with her, she would shut up.
“Lena, I love you. I really do, but you had to hear it. Elias Hayden isn’t into you. He feels sorry for you. You should have known better than to invite him to the mall if you knew that Cora was going to invite him to eat Mexican food. Just stay away from him. Switch partners in English. Madison needs to invite him to her party after homecoming. Just stay out of the way,” Daisy lectured as Cora’s expression turned calculating.
“What did the two of you do last night?” The bell rang at that exact moment. The two girls rushed away, not wanting to be the last ones to class. Elias stormed out of the stall, his eyes dark and angry. He shook himself and then barked, “Let’s go.” And I followed, fearing that what Daisy said was true.
“Why aren’t you eating?” Ryan asked as he sat beside me. The cafeteria was loud and all I wanted to do was be alone with my thoughts. But I couldn’t be. Because Ryan insisted on being friendly, which meant that Madison, Daisy, and Cora were joining us for lunch. Ryan was apparently desirable as well. Madison had her eyes on him.
“I can’t eat anything on the menu,” I shrugged, not caring one way or another.
“Ryan, where’s Elias?” Cora asked as she sat down. She was eating a buffalo chicken salad. Man, I missed those.”
“He’s picking up lunch.” Cora frowned.
“If he wanted to eat out, he should have told us. He didn’t have to do take out,” Cora whined as Daisy and Madison joined us. Kevin and Sadie were scheduled to return on Saturday. I couldn’t wait to see them. They would balance everything out.
“He wants to eat here.” Ryan bit into his meatball sub, which was a signal for the end of the conversation.
“Ryan, what kind of music do you like?” The guy didn’t answer Madison. He continued glancing around the room, studying everyone’s faces. I felt for the girl. Elias seemed to be the only thing that he wanted to talk about.
“Lena, are you going to homecoming?” Madison asked.
“No, she’ll get too sick. Hey, Lena, it turns out that you don’t need to go to the football game. I…” I interrupted Daisy before she could say anything else.
“I am going to homecoming, Madison.” My words rang out with authority. I was tired of people assuming things about me.
“Really?” Madison seemed excited to hear the news, which made me believe that the girl wasn’t a terrible person.
“Yes.”
“Do you need some help with your hair? I would be more than happy to help you pick out a dress. Maybe, we could go dress shopping.” Madison’s face lit up.
“Who are you going to homecoming with?” Cora asked, her gaze narrowing.
“Madison, do you want to go to homecoming with me?” Ryan asked before I could answer. The girl lit up like a Christmas tree.
“Really?”
“Sure. I would be more than happy to be your date. Do you like dancing? I happen to be a ballroom dancing champion. Before my partner Nina died, we won a lot…” His eyes filled with sorrow and Ryan simply said, “I’m a good dancer.” Now, I understood why he constantly talked about Elias. It was because his life probably revolved around Nina. Talking about her was too painful. But Daisy didn’t get the hint.
“How did Nina die?” my friend asked. Madison glared at her.
“She died in battle.” Ryan’s reply caused an awkward silence to come over the table. What did he mean in battle? I wanted to ask, but Ryan made eye contact with his food, and we all figured that the conversation was over.
“When do you want to go dress shopping?” Madison asked me. I really didn’t want to go back to the mall. Those robberies were horrible.
“Did you hear about the robbery last night?” Daisy asked the girls. “I was there. It was horrible. Jose tried to stop one of the guys, but, he pulled a weapon on him. So my brother didn’t have a choice but to let him go.” Thank goodness, Elias returned with a takeout bag moments later. The only empty seat was beside Cora. Elias simply made eye contact with Ryan, and he stood, grabbed his tray, and sat beside Cora. Elias plopped down in the seat beside me and rifled through the bag. He pulled out a sub, a bag of chips, a large cookie, a bowl of soup, and some crackers. He placed the soup and crackers in front of me and handed me a spoon and some napkins. Everyone except for Madison stared at Elias as if he had grown two heads.
“This isn’t charity,” Elias began. “Lena’s my friend and I wanted to get her lunch.” Daisy glared at me.
“She told you what I said?”
“No, I heard every word. I went into the bathroom after her when she left homeroom,” Elias confessed. None of my “girlfriends” were happy with that news.
“I wasn’t saying that you guys weren’t really friends,” Daisy protested. “I just meant that she was getting in the way of us getting to know you.” Elias sighed and wrapped an arm around me. He hissed, “Play along” in my ear.
“Apparently, I have to speak plainly. Lena is the only person that I want to get to know. She’s my date for homecoming. Cora, you’re a nice girl, but I’m not going with you.” Elias squeezed harder when my mouth flopped open. I closed it and forced a grin. What was he doing? Really? Elias was going to pretend to be my boyfriend? I couldn’t help but feel insulted by that. “I can’t date anyone. If I could, it would be you,” he whispered in my ear, which made my heart pound. A tickle of curiosity ran through me. What did Elias mean by he couldn’t date? His parents didn’t seem to be very strict. They were allowing him and his brothers to travel the country. So what did he mean?
“Oh. Um. How cute,” Cora said, with false good cheer. I knew that these girls were going to hate me. But I couldn’t help but care. My suspicions were confirmed when Cora announced that they had something for cheerleading to do, then, they took off. Elias released his grip on my waist, and I peered up at him.
“Elias, why did you do that?”
“Cora and Daisy thought that I couldn’t possibly be interested in you. So I showed them otherwise.”
“Elias. I…” He held up a hand.
“I had to do something. You were upset,” he reasoned. Something in his words caused my temper to rise.
“No, you didn’t have to do anything. I can take care of myself.” I stood and peered at Elias who looked confused. His face was drawn, his eyes were weary, and a drop of blood was on his cheek. Wait! What? That didn’t seem right. Deciding that I needed to ask him about the blood, I pulled a napkin from the stack he had given me and gently wiped at his cheek. It was dried blood, so I had to rub a bit harder.
“How did this happen.” He glanced up at me and sighed.
“I know that you’re upset at me, Lena. But can you please eat the soup? I went through a lot of trouble to get it.” The weariness in his voice made me comply. It was tomato soup, and I finished everything in my bowl, plus the crackers. Elias wolfed down his food in half the time it took me to finish the soup. Ryan and Elias left when Elias was done, so I had to sit alone for the remainder of the lunch period.
After lunch, I went to calculus. Elias hesitated before speaking to me.
“Hi,” he softly said as he sat beside me.
“You never have a notebook,” I noted, dreading the quiz.
“I use to keep them. But it just became too much of a chore. I have a photographic memory. Once I see something, I can remember it,” Elias explained, before rubbing his eyes. His exhaustion troubled me. All I wanted was to see him smile, so I swallowed my pride.
“Sorry for snapping at you. Elias you are a wonderful friend, and I appreciate everything
that you do.” My speech made him smile wide. I sighed in relief.
“It’s okay. Maybe I should have run the plan by you before saying anything.”
“You should of, but your heart was in the right place.
The quiz was horrendous. It was a good thing that Mrs. Lopez dropped the lowest quiz grade. The rest of the day passed by with dread hanging over me. This wasn’t a good sign. The same feeling that filled my bones on that day when I saw “slut” painted on my locker haunted me. It turned out that my intuition was a very dependable ally.
“So,” I began as Elias and I made our way out of psychology. It was the last class of the day, and I was grateful. I couldn’t help but think that I made a mistake by coming.
“So?” Elias’ face was less strained, and he even laughed, which was a welcomed sign that he was returning back to normal.
“Have you read Gone with the Wind yet?” We paused at my locker, and the combination lock was torn off. I slowly opened it, and a bouquet of decaying roses fell on the floor. They were so wilted that most of the petals crumbled without much prompting. I stepped back and frowned. Really? What kind of prank was this? I had no idea. People in the halls stopped and stared at the mess.
“What the hell?” I asked. Elias stiffened and looked as though he would bolt. Instead, he grabbed my arm. “Come on, let’s report this to the principal,” Elias urged.
It took twenty minutes for me to explain to the principal that I hadn’t simply forgotten to clear out my locker. But he eventually got the point and sent the janitor to take care of the mess. Calim and Ryan were both waiting for us when we exited the school. We both hopped into the back of the Beamer and Elias tugged a flower petal from my hair.
“That was weird,” he commented.
“The whole day was weird. Maybe I should have stayed home after all. It would have given me a chance to dodge the calculus quiz.” Elias chuckled.
“Yeah, but you feel fine. I would hate for you to waste a skip on a day when you feel okay.”
“You know,” I began as I glanced out the window and stared at the cozy houses that had wilting lawns.
“What?”
“Sometimes, I wished that I did skip school on a day when I wasn’t sick. Then, I could spend the day doing something fun.” That idea sounded promising.
“I guess that you have a point. So, what’s your friend Sadie like?”
“She’s friendly. You’ll like her. She isn’t a cheerleader. She’s more of a tomboy,” I explained.
“Cool beans,” Ryan commented from the passenger seat.
“Are you excited about taking Madison to the dance, Ryan?” I asked, but Ryan couldn’t answer because an out of control car was gunning its way toward us. It all happened in slow motion. One minute, I was letting out a high pitch scream. I vaguely wondered why the car that was gunning for us looked familiar before it plowed into us, and my screaming stopped.