Confide

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Confide Page 60

by Debbie Civil


  Chapter 6

  The basement was cold. Instead of a metal chair, I was strapped to a metal table. Everything except for my left hand was presently numb. It tickled with feeling, and I flexed my fingers, just to feel something. The evil doctor entered with a scalpel in one hand and a hammer in another.

  “Tell me what you know, or she suffers,” the doctor yelled. I wanted to move my head to see who the old man was threatening. But my head was numb, and my eyes were tired.

  “Go to hell,” someone growled. The voice sounded like it was coming from behind my head. Without warning, the old man dropped the hammer and sliced my pinkie with the scalpel. I shrieked from the pain and somehow having my left hand being the only thing that had feeling, made the experience worse. There was nothing to distract my body from the excruciating pain.

  “Don’t do it,” someone shouted. “You’ll get caught.” The voice was familiar, but the owner’s name couldn’t reach me. I was in too much pain to focus hard enough. The evil doctor laughed and waved the scalpel as if it were a captured flag. Specks of blood dripped onto my face.

  “She’s dying,” Elias pleaded. Elias. Now, his voice was like warmth to my senses. The pain was beginning to fade away, and the evil doctor was getting out of focus, as if my eyes were camera lenses and he had just stepped out of the camera’s view. I only saw his side as the villain cackled.

  “They will be suspicious. I forbade you,” someone roared. There went the first speaker again.

  “I don’t care Calim. I’m doing what I want.” The dream left me, and I sat up, expecting to be in my bed. Well, I was in a bed, just not one that I particularly liked.

  “You’re awake,” Kevin said as he stood. My cousin looked as though he had been locked in a washing machine. His blue eyes were bruised, his complexion was pale, and his clothes were wrinkled. I had no idea what had happened. Maybe, another seizure plagued me again.

  “What happened?” My voice was oddly calm and clear. It wasn’t even scratchy, something that always happened after one of my seizures. Kevin ran his fingers through his red hair.

  “Well, you and your friends were in a terrible car accident,” he announced. Anxiety claimed me.

  “What happened?” I cried. Kevin placed a hand on my shoulder and sighed.

  “A drunk driver cut you guys off. His car was totaled, and he died at the scene. You guys, on the other hand, fared better. Well, you sort of hit your head. It’s stitched up. But nothing else seems to be wrong with you. Lena, you’re really lucky,” he softly told me.

  “Where are your parents?” He smirked.

  “They are in the cafeteria arguing with your parents,” he slowly explained. I frowned at Kevin. “Apparently, your parents want to take you to Germany to see a few specialists. They know someone that can help with your condition. They’re upset at my parents for never explaining what was going on. I guess they don’t want to acknowledge that they didn’t bother returning any of our phone calls.” Kevin was really angry. His green eyes were flaming, and he looked as though he would punch someone.

  “Where’s Rowan?”

  “With Jose. You’ve been asleep for a few hours. Since Rowan spent last night with you, Mom sent her home. You should see her. Rowan looks run down.”

  “I’m sorry that you had to come home early. I ruined your trip,” I softly said, the guilt making my eyes water.

  “No sweat. I was planning on coming back because Rowan called me last night. I heard about the mall. Lena, I’m…” The door slowly opened, and Elias poked his head in.

  “Elias,” I called, feeling relieved that he was in one piece. Elias rushed in, and Kevin nodded at him in greeting. My cousin gave me a kiss on the forehead and rushed out. After the door slammed shut, Elias glanced at me wearily.

  “How are you?” His question was hesitant at best. Maybe he felt some guilt about the accident.

  “That was some crazy accident. Who hit us?”

  “Michael Twist.” I sucked in a breath. Madison's father. Before the car hit us, I had wondered why the car looked familiar. So that’s what smashed into us.

  “Oh no. How’s Madison?”

  “Inconsolable. I guess her father had gotten suspended from the hospital for stealing pills. He went to the local bar, got drunk, and was on his way home and hit us. I feel sorry for that family.” The grief in his eyes caught me by surprise.

  “Elias, it’s not your fault. You…”

  “Don’t. I don’t want to hear about how it isn’t my fault, Lena. You don’t know what you’re talking about.” He ran his hand through his messy hair and began to pace. I had no idea how to help my friend. But I didn’t like how he snapped at me.

  “Elias, I…”

  “Don’t, Lena. I really don’t want to talk. I just came in here to check on you.” His tone bordered on cruel. Well, excuse me. Maybe people dealt with grief in their way, but I had no way to proceed. Images of a smiling emergency room doctor flashed in my mind. Despite his apparent problem with drugs, Doctor Twist was a kind man. He had been the first one to treat me for one of my first episodes. I remembered the day as if it was yesterday.

  In the ninth grade, I had been determined to try out for cheerleading. Back then, Daisy wasn’t really confident, and Cora was just a nice girl. It was the first day of school when I spotted the hot pink flyer, pinned to a bulletin board by the front office.

  “I want to try out,” I told Daisy, who took one glance at the flyer and laughed.

  “Why? You like musical theater and ballet, not cheerleading.” She had said the word “cheerleading” as if it was the lowest form of dance.

  “Daisy, think about it. We can wear cute outfits, cheer for hot boys, and do something together. Your mother told you that you had to join a club. You hate reading, don’t care much for student government, but you love dancing. What would it hurt?” Daisy glanced up at me, contemplation in her dark eyes.

  “I’ll think about it,” she decided.

  We spent that whole day texting each other about the try-outs. The deal maker was when her mother had texted Daisy to say that Daisy would be expected to come home straight after school to spend some time with Chad. Chad was her mother’s boyfriend. He was a fake. He was all smiles until Daisy’s mother Ronny left the room. Then, he told my friend how much he hated her. So she told her mother that it was rather unfortunate, but she had something to do after school.

  I remembered walking into the gym, sandwiched in between Cora and Daisy. Cora and I weren’t close friends. But Daisy had invited her. The head cheerleader, a tall, thin girl with chocolate brown skin and micro braids, taught us a routine along with a cheer. I picked up both easily. Cora and Daisy weren’t as quick, but they executed the moves well enough. Some of the other girls danced like penguins, with a few falling and one injuring her ankle. We had to do the routine on our own. When it was my turn, I stood under the basketball hoop, our stage, and danced my heart out. All of it was perfect, until I collapsed onto the gym floor and lost all control of my body.

  I woke up in the hospital, confused and afraid. Rowan sat with me. My aunt and Uncle had gone for coffees. Doctor Twist entered, and I immediately burst into tears. I had been a bit dramatic back then.

  “Jessalena?”

  “No. Please call me Lena,” I cried.

  “Lena, are you in pain?” His kind voice stopped my tears for a moment.

  “I’m not going to be a cheerleader,” I proclaimed. He side and gave me a sad smile.

  “Now that just leaves room for you to be something else,” he told me and now the man and his kind words were gone forever.

  “Elias. I…”

  “Lena, I have to go. Feel better,” he said before storming out of the room.

  I was too affected by the fact that Doctor Twist was dead to bother with Elias. He was probably traumatized. Guys don’t like being afraid. I was positive that my new friend wasn’t an exception. But I couldn’t help but be angry with him. He was supposed to
be strong. I actually knew the man that died. Before he treated me, I had seen him over a dozen times.

  “What are you thinking about?” Rowan asked as she entered the room.

  “I thought that mom sent you home.” Rowan did look terrible. Her face was worn, and there were bags under her eyes.

  “I had to talk to you. I was worried,” she confessed as she plopped down in the chair beside my bed.

  “Elias is traumatized about the whole thing,” I casually said, just to see how Rowan responded.

  “He’s the one that pulled Doctor Twist out before the car exploded. The doctor was already dead,” Rowan reported.

  “Oh. So I shouldn’t take it personally that he snapped at me?”

  “No. People deal with grief in their own way.”

  “How’s Ryan?” I asked, because he had been a friend to me.

  “He’s in bad shape, Lena. He’s in surgery.” How stupid! I should have asked Elias how his friend was. Instead, I went straight for the gossip.

  “No wonder he was in a bad mood. I feel terrible.”

  “I do too. Calim was inconsolable. He has a broken arm and a few bruises.”

  “What about Elias?” I asked, confused.

  “Nothing. The boy had no injuries. Anyways, your parents are here, Lena. Did Kevin tell you about the doctor in Germany?” Rowan casually asked.

  “I’m not going,” I declared, my voice strong. Rowan laughed.

  “Darling, you’re only seventeen. You can’t make that kind of decision. Besides, this doctor could know what he’s doing. You could…”

  “Rowan, I’m done. You promised that I won’t have to go through any more of the tests. I can’t suffer through poking and prodding and all of those blood tests. Forget it.” Rowan rubbed her eyes.

  “Lena, none of us want to see you die. We all just want to help. You…”

  “I don’t want to die either. But there has to be another way. We didn’t visit the doctor in New York. He could know something. Why not start there?” I asked, trying to placate my sister. In the end, I knew that it all was hopeless. My condition was unexplainable, and no amount of cat scans would change my prognosis.

  “But the one in Germany has…” Rowan’s words were cut off by my father walking in the room. He was tall, clean shaven, and looked thirty-five. He wore a business suit and he carried a briefcase. This man wasn’t the truck driver that was barely home during my childhood. He couldn’t be.

  “Jess,” he called, his voice soft and soothing.

  “It’s Lena,” I snapped as the words sent a bolt of agony through my heart. Jess was what both of my parents called me, when I lived with them. But they abandoned me.

  “Lena, I was worried about you. Your Uncle tells me that you are very sick.”

  “You would know for yourself if you were around.” My hate filled words didn’t even make the man flinch.

  “Sometimes, children don’t appreciate what their parents do. One day, when you’re older, you’ll understand.”

  “Make me understand now.” My anger was rising, and so was the wind in my right ear. In fact, I couldn’t even hear a thing out of the ear. My head began to scream in protest, and the monitors began beeping. I felt hot all over, and I wanted to throw my blankets off. But my hands were like stone statues. They stayed put. I felt a jab in my arm, and everything went black.

  I opened my eyes to find my father by my bedside. He was awake, leafing through a magazine. I didn’t want to speak to him. So I focused on my surroundings. A bouquet of yellow roses sat on a table, along with a balloon and a few gift bags. People must have stopped by while I was asleep.

  “Jess, I know that you’re awake,” the man said. I groaned.

  “Go away.”

  “Not a chance. You’re ill. I’m disappointed that my brother didn’t bother to tell me that. There’s room in the mansion in California. I’ll take you there and…”

  “No.” My utter refusal stunned my father. I didn’t bother looking at him. Instead, I stared at the flowers, focusing on the beautiful rose petals.

  “Jess, I don’t want to upset you. But…”

  “Lena. Call me Lena.”

  “Okay, Lena, I don’t want to upset you, but you have to come with us. I can afford to give you the best doctors. Your Uncle Calvin isn’t rich. You’ll bleed him dry. Then, what would be left for Kevin?” Despite how much of a jerk my father was, he was right. I couldn’t expect for my Aunt and Uncle to pay my bills. They must be broke.

  “What does Jordan think of this?” But I also couldn’t mooch off of my sister, the way that my parents were. She had enough mouths to feed.

  “Jordan loves you. She’ll be more than happy for you to live with us,” he insisted.

  “She doesn’t know me. How can she love me?” My question went unanswered. That meant that in all likelihood, my older sister didn’t give a care if I lived with her or not. These new accommodations didn’t sound promising. But what else could I do? At this moment, I would have given anything to be back in the girl’s bathroom with Elias. He gave excellent advice, when he wasn’t giving people attitudes. What was I supposed to do?

  “Dad,” I hesitantly asked. That felt awkward. I hadn’t said the word “Dad” for so long that the sentiment felt funny on my tongue.

  “Yes, Jess.” He hadn’t gotten the hint. Seriously? I went by Lena, and if he couldn’t get that straight… Oh, focus Lena.

  “If I were to agree to go live with you and Mom, when would I leave?” Silence. Perhaps, Dad never thought of the logistics.

  “Next week, your mother and I are going on a honeymoon. My guess is that you can fly out to California in…”

  “I can’t fly on planes. Something about the pressure causes me to have bad headaches.”

  “So, someone will have to drive you to California?” Dad was incredulous, as if the concept of a road trip was lost on him.

  “So, that changes things. I guess we’d have to work something out with your Aunt and Uncle. Maybe, they could drive you up in a few weeks.”

  “Maybe. But I don’t want to inconvenience them anymore,” I said, feeling overwhelmed. No matter what path I chose, I was still a problem for someone.

  “Jess, just get some rest. We’ll figure everything out later.” I closed my eyes as sleep crept up on me. Right before I drifted off to sleep, I had one thought. “I don’t have a bond with my father anymore. How could I live with him?”

 

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