Follow the Hummingbird (The Dream Tamer Chronicles Book 1)

by Elena Carter

  The place looked cozy and inviting. Tina loved that type of coffee shops—the ones with only a few tables, dim lights, soft leather sofas, candles on the tables, and bookshelves on the walls. She used to love spending time in places like this, sipping her coffee while scribbling ideas in a notebook or watching people around her.

  She had always wanted to be a writer, but there was always something stopping her. Some reason, some obstacle, some excuse. She used to write down random story ideas, or characters, or even whole dialogues, in little notebooks that she carried in her purse. However, whenever she had a chance to sit down, think, observe, and listen, it was like someone had run a tap inside her head and ideas flowed like water, transforming into words and phrases, sometimes completely unrelated, as if they were parts of different stories. She had no idea what to do with it all when she looked at that stream of consciousness on paper later, but the feelings that possessed her while she wrote were euphoric.

  It’s like being high, but without the negative effects, she’d tried to explain to Greg once. He’d smile and nod, and once in a while bring her a new notebook.

  Look, I saw this in the shop and thought of you. Have fun. Don’t overdose! He was always telling her she should write a book, but Tina never found time.

  When Greg died, she stopped writing. She took all of her notebooks—some full, some empty—and threw them in a trash bag. At first, she wanted to set them on fire, but something stopped her. She didn’t want to watch them burn. But she didn’t want to see them anymore, either. She had an idea of burying them, just like that, in the black trash bag.

  My dreams died with Greg, so they need to be buried, too, she kept telling herself. But she was too depressed to do anything. So a bag full of stories, worlds, ideas, and dreams was hidden in the darkest corner of her closet and forgotten. Until that moment, when she was about to walk into the coffee shop.

  Overwhelmed by the sudden tsunami of memories and emotions, Tina took a sharp breath. She looked through the window at the table in the corner with two leather armchairs next to it and a few bookshelves on the wall behind it. A pretty woman with long blonde hair draping down to her shoulders from underneath a red beret occupied one of the chairs. Her legs were crossed, hands on her knee, head slightly tilted to one side, as she looked into the distance as if she was in a world of her own.

  Tina recognized her face from the pictures on Facebook.

  That’s exactly the place I would choose to sit, if I got here first, she thought. Suddenly, seeing Kate through the window, lost in her thoughts, warmed Tina’s heart and rid her of all the fears and tension.

  She pushed the door open.

  “Hi Kate! So great to finally meet you. Have you been waiting long?” Tina hung her purse on the corner of the chair and sat down.

  “Hi. My pleasure. Better late than never, huh?” Kate had a charming, genuine smile—one of those smiles that are like a glimpse of sunshine through the clouds, making everything a little bit better. “Not really, I came here early. I love this place.”

  “I totally see why.” Tina gazed around in admiration. “It’s my kind of place too. It’s like time flows differently here.”

  “Exactly. I come here when I need to put the world on pause.”

  “Which, in my case, would be pretty much always.” Tina laughed. “I should probably consider moving here.”

  “Why not? There’s a great chance you might like it.”

  The waitress came to take their orders. Tina decided to follow Kate’s advice and try the “heavenly” cinnamon rolls and a cappuccino. Kate ordered the same.

  As soon as the waitress left, Tina looked at Kate and took a deep breath. “Kate, I want to be straight and open with you. You must be wondering why I sent you that message and came all the way here after not showing up for several months—which I really do feel sorry for.”

  “You shouldn’t.” Kate shook her head with a soft smile. “I know I didn’t address it in my message, and I might have sounded abrupt, sorry. I had a rough day, and I’m generally not good at expressing myself in writing. I figured it would be better to talk about it when we met.”

  “You’re right. There’s much more room for misinterpretation in written texts. And one can easily misread the emotions too.” Tina felt relieved and slightly embarrassed as she remembered how she had misread Kate’s text.

  Kate shook her head. “I should have reached out to you. You were alone. I, at least, had family around. My parents practically moved in with me and watched me 24/7, not letting me go crazy. They got me through it. But you were all alone, weren’t you? I’m the one who needs to feel sorry.”

  “I had friends. They also wanted to move in.” Tina chuckled. “Just kidding. But they did ask me to live with them. I refused, so they watched me like hawks too. They still do, in fact.”

  “I guess we did what we could. There is no perfect way. Or an easy way.”

  “Nope.” Tina shook her head. “I don’t even think there is a single right way. Anything works. And nothing works at the same time. Time doesn’t really heal. But it does scab the open wound, which is good enough, I guess.”

  “Well, a scab is a part of the healing process. Maybe it just takes longer when it’s on your heart,” Kate said. “We’ll see. We’ve got this far, at least.”

  The waitress returned with their coffees and desserts.

  Tina took a sip of her cappuccino while thinking of how to get to the next part of the speech. She was feeling more relaxed, and she was enjoying talking to Kate, but the things she was about to tell her were by no means common and ordinary. She had no idea how Kate would react.

  “Try the roll. You’ll definitely start looking for a place to live around here.” Kate tore a piece of the bun and put it in her mouth. She closed her eyes and moaned with pleasure. “Oh my God, I’m in heaven.”

  The luscious smell of cinnamon was indeed mouth-watering, so Tina decided to take a break and enjoy some dessert before revealing the real purpose of her visit.

  “I’ve never had anything like that.” Tina licked her fingers after leaving the plate empty, without a single crumb. “Do you happen to know any real estate agents?”

  “Told you.” Kate laughed.

  “I think I also need a good gym nearby, if I come to this place every day.”

  “Rent a place on the other side of town and walk here. Problem solved.”

  Tina was liking Kate more and more. Her laughter sounded like chimes. It reminded Tina of Alice, and her chest tightened.

  “Kate, I need to tell you something that will most probably make you think I’m crazy. Maybe, you won’t believe me. Maybe, it will upset you and you won’t want to see me again. Or, maybe, on the contrary, it will make you feel better and we can become good friends—I hope so because I really, really want to.” Tina brought her palms to her chest. “I don’t know what will happen. But I need to tell you this, it’s very important. For you. And for me. Besides, I made a promise.” She sighed.

  “This sounds very intriguing. And confusing.” Kate rubbed her temple. “I’m one of those people who prefer to rip off the band-aid. So go ahead.”

  “I’m one of those people too. But this is a tough one. I’ll still do it, though, because I have to.” Tina took a deep breath. “Some time ago, I started having strange dreams …”

  As Tina told Kate about the dreams she’d been having, Kate’s face didn’t reveal any emotions, apart from a slightly raised eyebrow, until she got to the point where she first received a message from Greg on her phone.

  Kate straightened and tensed. Her eyes widened, and it looked like she’d stopped breathing for a few moments.

  Tina was unsure whether to pause or continue, but decided to go ahead. She was becoming more and more tense watching Kate’s reactions. Her breathing became constricted, and she was sure she’d soon have to wipe sweat off her forehead. Her throat was so dry she couldn’t continue talking unless she had a drink, but her coffee cup was empty.


  “Sorry, do you mind … I just need to …” She tried to clear her throat and searched for the waitress.

  “Me too. Desperate for a drink.” Kate signaled vigorously for the waitress. “Excuse me?”

  Tina looked at her, not sure what to say. She couldn’t tell what Kate was thinking as she turned back to her—couldn’t figure out what to expect—and she hadn’t even got to the main part yet.

  As Kate opened her mouth to say something, the waitress appeared at their table.

  “Can I have a bottle of water, please?” Tina asked and then glanced at Kate.

  “Yes, same for me, please, and another cappuccino also.”

  The girl left, and Tina refocused on Kate. She wanted to continue, but Kate spoke first.

  “Look, I can see you’re getting nervous, and I understand why. You’re probably wondering what I think about all this, right?”

  “Right.” Tina puffed out a breath.

  Kate bit her lip and paused, trying to get her thoughts together. “It’s not easy to say exactly what I feel. I’m surprised—even shocked I would say. A part of me is skeptical, while the other part wants to believe it. And I’m a bit jealous, too.”

  “Jealous?”

  “Of course. I was hoping and waiting for Bob to come to me in my dreams. I still am. But it doesn’t happen.” She shook her head. “I mean, maybe it does, but I don’t remember. I don’t remember my dreams anymore. Sometimes I wake up with a feeling that something really important happened, and I can’t shrug the feeling throughout the whole day. But it’s all I have—feelings. No memories, no details. I wish I could tell you about a dream of mine in so many details.” She rubbed her forehead.

  “I understand.” Tina nodded. “I’ve had that before.”

  “And you have a chance to see your husband and talk to him,” Kate continued. “I would give anything for such an opportunity.”

  The waitress came back with the drinks. As Kate reached for her water, tears glistened in her eyes.

  “Kate, I know about the argument you had,” Tina said softly. Her hand trembled as she poured the water into the glass. She emptied the glass in one big gulp and put it down. “Greg told me.”

  A tear finally escaped and trickled down Kate’s cheek.

  “This is the main reason I’m telling you all this. Greg asked me to talk to you, and I promised him I would. Although, I was terrified at first. I was afraid you would think I’m crazy. I understand it’s personal, but there’s something you need to know …”

  Kate cried silently.

  “Oh, Kate, I’m sorry I am making you go through this.” She wanted to give Kate a hug, but she hesitated, unsure of how she would react. “Do you want me to stop? Do you need a minute, maybe?”

  Kate shook her head, wiping her tears with a sleeve. “No, I’m okay. Thank you. And it’s not your fault. There hasn’t been a single day since he died … they died … when I didn’t think about it. It’s hell, Tina. I’m living in hell.”

  She raised her gaze and looked straight at Tina. There was so much pain in that look that Tina could physically feel it. She wanted to take a deep breath, but struggled because her chest was tight.

  “I’m so sorry, Kate. But I still have to tell you the truth.” She kept looking Kate in the eyes.

  “The truth?” Kate reached for a napkin to blow her nose.

  “I know what the argument was about and what you were suspecting. It’s not true.” Tina interlaced her fingers under the table, digging her nails into her skin. “Bob never cheated on you. And he wants you to know it.”

  Tears streamed down Kate’s cheeks. She closed her eyes and bit her bottom lip.

  Tina clenched her hands even harder. “All those times when he was working late, not picking up his phone, or being secretive, he was actually working extra hours in the gym. He was training clients individually to earn more money. Some of his clients, as Greg told me, actually requested the sessions must be kept a secret. He was teaching them martial arts and self-defense. Greg said Bob wasn’t sure you’d approve of some of his clients or the fact he went back to martial arts. But even that wasn’t the main reason. He wanted it to be a surprise.”

  Kate listened closely. She was still crying, and the pile of used napkins next to her was growing.

  “He was putting the money he earned aside. In cash. He was saving so you could open the art center for kids you’ve always dreamed about.”

  A sobbed burst from Kate’s throat, so loud Tina couldn’t help looking around to check if they were attracting too much attention. Luckily, the place was almost empty; there was only one table occupied in the opposite corner of the room, and the young man sitting there was wearing headphones and staring into his laptop. There was no sign of the waitress either.

  “Are you okay? Would you like some more water?” she asked Kate.

  Kate shook her head, her face buried in her hands. “No, thanks. Just … Just give me a minute, okay?”

  “Sure.”

  Tina felt drained and exhausted. She was sorry for Kate, she could feel her pain, and she hated the fact she was causing it. At the same time, she felt relieved because she’d finally made it to the end of the talk she’d been dreading. She said it all.

  Well, except for one important detail, she thought.

  “Tell me when you’re ready,” Tina said softly.

  “I’m okay. I just … I think I ran out of tissues.” Kate wiped her eyes with a napkin that was already soaked by her tears. “I’m sorry, I’m such a mess.”

  “Here.” Tina handed her a pack of tissues from her purse. “You’re not a mess. You are a strong woman who is going through something most people wouldn’t be able to handle. And you’re doing great.”

  “Thank you.” Kate forced a smile. “I’m ready to listen. There’s more, right?”

  “Well, yes. Bob wanted to let you know where he hid the money. So you could use it.”

  “Bob’s always been very practical.” Kate tried to laugh through tears.

  Tina’s lips curved up. “The money. It’s in a shoe box in the closet. Greg said there’s a whole shelf with his things you still haven’t gone through …”

  Kate nodded.

  “And among those things is a red shoe box. He wrote ‘Junk’ with a marker on the top.” Tina shrugged, not sure what else to say.

  “I wasn’t able to make myself go through those boxes,” Kate said. “I gave his clothes to charity. Gave a couple of his watches to his friends. But I left all the rest. There are several boxes on the shelf. I couldn’t even look. They’ve been there for months.” She shook her head. “He’s still taking care of me, even when he’s gone.”

  A lump formed in Tina’s throat. “I know this is a lot to process. I’m sorry for dumping it all on you.”

  “You have nothing to be sorry for. I can understand it wasn’t easy for you.” Kate nodded. “You know, I do feel a little embarrassed. I felt so much guilt about that argument and my accusations. I felt terrible that those were the last things I said to him. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to forgive myself. And now I have a witness to my shame.” She scoffed. “But I am grateful to you for revealing the truth. At least I know now.”

  “Kate, you can’t live with that guilt. It’s like venom. It will poison you. You need to let go of it.”

  “Easier said than done.” Kate bit her lip. “I wish I knew he forgave me.”

  “Of course he did.” Tina leaned forward. “He couldn’t watch you suffer anymore. That’s why he asked Greg for help. He wanted you to know the truth. He wanted you to know he had always loved you and had always been faithful to you. And now he wants you to fulfill your dream and be happy.”

  “Why doesn’t he come to me in my dreams? Why couldn’t he tell me himself?” Kate’s eyes filled with despair.

  “I don’t know, Kate. I don’t know how any of this works.” Tina shrugged. “I wish I did. Maybe I will learn. Lately, I haven’t been able to see and talk to Greg. I d
on’t even know if I will get another chance.”

  “I hope you do. I truly hope so.”

  Tina could feel that Kate meant it. Despite not having the opportunity to see her husband, no matter how bad she wanted it, Kate was still wishing her the best, sincerely and genuinely.

  “I wish I could help you.” Tina clasped her hands. An idea crossed her mind. “Kate, I’m not sure this will work, but it’s worth giving a try.”

  She reached behind her neck and unfastened the clasp on the necklace with the beach glass. She took it off and handed it to Kate.

  “I want you to have this. Maybe it can work as your guide. Maybe it will somehow lead you to Bob.”

  “Thanks again, for everything. I couldn’t have done it without you,” Tina said as she was about to get out of the car. Mike had parked right by her apartment building. At first, they were thinking of going somewhere for dinner, but by the time they got back, both were too exhausted.

  “I had fun.” Mike smiled. “A real day off with a road trip included. Had a great time in the park, too.”

  “I’m glad. Still, I wish you would have tried those cinnamon rolls. I’m ready to go back there just for them. Well, if you drive, of course.” Tina put her hand on the door. “Okay, I better go, and you need to get home and get some rest. Thanks again. Good night.” Tina opened the door and stepped out of the car.

  “Night. You get some rest too. It was a long day. And once again, I’m proud of you.”

  “Thank you.”

  Tina watched Mike drive off, and when the car disappeared from sight, she turned around, entered the building and made her went up to her apartment.

  She was somewhat conflicted. On one hand, she was glad to be home because she was exhausted, mentally more than physically. On the other hand, she didn’t want to be alone. She was proud of herself for the way she handled the talk with Kate, but it had drained her emotionally to leave her vulnerable. Mike had entertained her with funny stories on the way back, and it helped her relax. But now, when she was alone, she worried the memories and emotions would catch up.