Huntress

by S. J. Sanders

  Her eyebrows slammed down. “I am not walking around tits to the wind, Tah.”

  “Who will see but us? Besides, I have already spent so much time studying the beautiful orbs that I practically have them memorized,” he teased.

  “Tah is right,” Gund agreed, and Heidi’s head snapped over to glare at him in disbelief.

  “He’s right?”

  Gund nodded. “By your own admission, you are suffering from the heat. We do not wish for you to get sick. It makes sense that you allow one of us to carry your armor so you can walk comfortably. Your human modesty is not necessary out here.”

  “You do realize that this part of the continent is known for giant grass snakes, right?” she said with a suspicious glance around.

  “We will kill anything that dares to come near you, rya,” Gund said so confidently that it gave her pause.

  She shifted a wary look between the three of them. They looked at her expectantly. They were fucking serious.

  Tah sighed and stepped toward her. “You are taking too long to decide. I can see beads of sweat standing out on your face.”

  “Try to remove my armor from me without my permission and you will be wearing your balls for a necklace,” she snapped, giving each male a hard look. Loves of her life or not, she wasn’t going to let them make such a personal decision for her.

  This new relationship was going to involve establishing some boundaries. Making decisions about her body was a huge one for her, especially after so many years under the complete authority of a male.

  The Master had never asked her to strip or perform sexual services for him as he’d requested of other huntresses. She was as sexless as a weapon to him, and she preferred it that way. Still, being the blade of the master was, in too many ways, to sacrifice every bit of her bodily autonomy to carry out his will. All the death that had painted her body—all the blood, year after year of it.

  She didn’t fail to notice that all three males bristled at her tone, their expressions turning to ones of caution. Tah growled. She could feel the tension acutely in the air but stood her ground until she heard Orth speak from behind her.

  “We will not do anything that you truly do not wish us to do,” he whispered sadly.

  By increments, she began to relax only to find that she’d drawn her blade from her back, the shortsword stark in her hand. The action had been so instinctual that she hadn’t realized what she did until it was too late. Her hand shook and the blade fell from her numb fingers before falling to the ground. It must have struck a rock because the sound was loud in the silence that had descended between them.

  She wouldn’t actually have hurt him. She knew she wouldn’t… A tussle, sure, but to actually hurt Tah or any of her males? Her stomach roiled. She felt sick.

  Swallowing, she dropped her hand and looked beseechingly at them. “I wouldn’t have done it,” she whispered. Each beloved face was unreadable as they scrutinized her. Nothing more told her just how fucked up she was inside than the fact that she had instinctively been prepared to do some terrible deed. Although she made the threat, she never would have truly done anything to grievously hurt them.

  Gund growled softly and stepped away, hurt in his eyes.

  “Please, Gund… It was just a reaction. What I said was merely to emphasize a point, but I swear I would never knowingly harm any of you.” When Gund refused to meet her eyes, she turned abruptly to Tah. “Tah?”

  He huffed uncertainly. “It seemed that you were not yourself. It seemed so very real to us, however. That you react without knowing what you are doing…” He shook his head uncertainly. “I wouldn’t have hurt you. I would only have seen to your comfort as a loving mate. That you would even instinctively seek to harm one who would be your mate… I cannot consider this right now.”

  “Tah, please,” she whispered.

  He glanced at Gund and the large male sighed heavily, sadly. “The way seems clear and I do not scent anything nearby. I believe we should part ways for a time, huntress. Just to give us all time to consider, in a place of safety. We do not want you to feel threatened by us… and we need some space to think of our own safety in what has transpired. We will meet with you further up the plains when we have come to a decision. Come, Orth.”

  The male behind her stiffened but nodded as he shifted away from her. They were actually leaving her. She stared after them as they loped away, disappearing into the grasses in the distance. Tucking her arms around herself, she shivered despite the heat bearing down on her.

  What had she done?

  24

  Kneeling at the side of the creature they had brought down, Orth tore off a chunk of meat, eating it raw. Without Heidi there, they did not need to build a fire. Their lives had reverted to the way it had been for more revolutions than he could accurately calculate. The hot blood of the creature was sweet in his mouth, and yet it turned in his belly uncomfortably. Her absence was already starting to weigh upon him. It had been two days since they left her, and his heart was already beginning to grieve.

  “Gund, I don’t feel right about this,” he stated, lifting his gaze to meet his lead’s eyes. It hadn’t been the first time he said some variation of the statement since they left Heidi—or, he had attempted to, but Gund always stopped him. Now the male was no longer glowering at him for speaking his mind but wore a grim expression. Gund shook his dark head slowly.

  “I have thought on the huntress as we’ve been traveling. She will be fine. She has always made it clear that she did not need our company in order to track the Master. We do not need to feel obligated to stay at her side.”

  Orth hissed out an angry breath. “You know that is not what I mean. She is our mate!”

  The large male stiffened, his lips peeling back from his teeth. “She is not! We did not carry through at her insistence, and it is a good thing that she delayed us. She is dangerous! That she would even think of attacking one of her males, of harming and possibly killing him for such a minor offense. It is unspeakable.”

  “You saw her eyes,” Tah added from where he sat. His expression was tight and unforgiving. Of the three of them, he was the most hurt by Heidi because she had threatened him. It hadn’t been her words; he would have laughed those off after a bit of growling. But when she touched her blade and faced him with such cold ruthlessness, Orth knew that it ate at him. “We do not need her,” he finished, the words noticeably forced out. “We will find another female after we are done. One who is soft and kind.”

  “One who will fear us,” Orth shot back. “Or perhaps you and Gund are content to rut each other without her in the shadows every night! Do not think I do not hear you growling and panting over each other, trying to find some release and comfort now that she is not with us, and your frustrated growls when you cannot find release. Or perhaps you enjoy taking Gund’s knot even when it brings neither of you satisfaction. Perhaps you no longer care, but I do,” he snapped.

  Tah’s mouth parted, his blue eyes flashing with pain, and Orth immediately regretted his harsh words. What comfort his brothers attempted to find without their rya was not shameful or a weapon to be used against him. He didn’t have more than a moment before Gund barreled into him, his teeth flashing furiously inches from Orth’s face.

  “You do not know of what you speak,” Gund growled. “Her loss has devastated us. So, you know—no, Tah cannot take my knot. My knot will not produce. We can only accept some measure of comfort from each other. Perhaps if you had joined us instead of listening contemptuously, you could have shared the comfort instead of bleeding your grief everywhere!”

  Orth lay limp beneath his lead, accepting his punishment, his head turned away from the fury in the yellow eyes glaring down at him. “It is not within me to accept comfort without my rya. You may be happy to throw her away, but I will never accept another female.”

  Gund looked down at him in disbelief. “You would punish us? She is damaged, Orth!”

  “So are we,” Orth muttered, a hand
running over his shredded ear as he met Tah’s pained gaze. The male’s blue eyes dropped, and he turned away.

  He felt the weight of Orth’s gaze upon it and the male blew out a hard, exasperated breath as he pulled away. Orth pushed back up, his expression grave. “If you take another female, you will have to accept my departure from the triad.” He swallowed thickly. “I will live in grief and loneliness at the side of my brothers, but I will not accept another female. Not ever.”

  Gund growled low, sifting a hand through his mane, his expression implacable. “We will consider such things after we have completed our task, and not before. We can only be thankful that we saved ourselves from a potentially disastrous mating that could have ended up with one of us dead.”

  “Foolish of us to trust our hearts to a huntress,” Tah mumbled where he crouched by the beast, picking at it restlessly.

  “It would be better if she returned to her home Citadel by whatever means, perhaps by way of a village, and leave the Master to us. If she insists on following to Dunvar, we will work by her side, but only as it pertains to our original agreement. Nothing more.” Gund closed his eyes. “Find her, Orth. Seek her out in the morning and give her our decision. It is time. We have spent enough time lurking on these plains.”

  “Perhaps she should not have trusted her safety to us if that is how easily our triad throws it away,” Orth whispered. His triad brothers stiffened but did not respond.

  Silence fell among their triad, and Orth missed how it was just days ago. As the shadows lengthened, Gund stood and approached Tah, a hand outstretched. Orth was certain that the male would take it and find a place to lie together as before. He glared bitterly at them and how easily they seemed to have set their rya aside. To his surprise, however, Tah turned away and lay in the grass, his back to Gund. The lead froze, his ears flattening with uncertainty before he stepped away and lay alone in the grass.

  Each of them slept alone, their hearts hurting—just like their rya.

  25

  Heidi grunted as she swung her armor back over her shoulder, her bare breasts bouncing in the air. After that first night, when the drop in temperature had cooled the gathered sweat on her body, she’d opted to remove the armor the next day. She always put it back on when the sun was at its height and most merciless, but in the cooler hours and on cloudy days, she walked comfortably wearing nothing but her pants as she carried the leather over her shoulder. Squinting at the sun, she tried to determine just how many more hours of daylight she had left before she needed to think of making camp. Absently, she wondered how her males were faring.

  But they weren’t really her males. Not anymore—if they ever truly had been.

  It was possible that every good thing that had happened during their time with the Atlavans had been nothing but a dream that none of them had wanted to acknowledge as impossible. She was damaged; she knew it, and now they knew it.

  Her conscience mocked her at night when she tried to allow her mind to rest, reminding her that she deserved such pain… and what did it matter anyway when the Order would see to it that she was dead. She’d tried to ignore it, but it was impossible.

  It had been days since she’d seen the triad.

  After the first night passed and then the second, it had become apparent to her that they were not returning. She had finally been forced to face the ugly truth that it was over. She could feel angry over it, or betrayed. They had protected themselves the best way they could, and she respected that.

  Now she merely had to move on. Go through the motions until her task was complete. Then, she could finally rest.

  A movement in the grass made her stiffen until she saw a familiar pair of yellow eyes watching her. Her heart leaped but she crushed the bruised organ. He wasn’t here for her, and even if he was, it was just better if he left.

  “Orth?” she greeted, her voice wooden.

  He slipped out from the grass. “I see that you followed our suggestion,” he observed quietly.

  She nodded her head. “As it turned out, it was a good idea.” She narrowed her eyes on him. “Why are you here?”

  The male whined, his expression uncertain. “Gund sent me.”

  “Oh?” Gund had sent him. He hadn’t come with him. They were not returning. She wasn’t surprised. It was as she expected.

  He nodded, his throat working. “He thinks you should go back to Old Wayfairer Citadel and leave the Master to us, but if you choose to continue, he will honor our agreement in Dunvar. He sent me to tell you that the triad releases you of all bonds and commitments to us.”

  “I see. Is that all?” she asked, shifting her armor as she met his eyes coolly. She did as she had learned to do over the years—hide and bury the pain and pretend it wasn’t there.

  “Rya, I…”

  “Don’t!” she snapped, taking no joy in the way he flinched at her harsh tone. “I am not your rya. I am broken. I know that. It was nice to pretend for a while that things could be normal for me and I could have a family. But it was a dream and nothing more. You left. The decision has been clear to me from that moment. So do not call me something that I am not. Save that for whatever woman Gund replaces me with, with my blessing.”

  His ears flatted miserably. “I did not want that.”

  “It is what it is, regardless of what we want,” she replied. She lifted her gaze and searched his eyes. “Regardless of what has happened between us, I want you to be happy. I told you before that I refused to mate yet, for several reasons, but one of them being that I knew it was too good to be true. Now you are free. You can tell Gund that I have received his message. I received it without so many words days ago—there was no need for him to waste time sending you here.”

  He jerked his head in a shaky nod and backed away. She took a deep, shuddering breath as she watched him turn and race away. She stood there until he completely disappeared from sight.

  One tear trickled from the corner of her eye and she brought her fist up to stubbornly stop it. But it did not work as one tear turned into many and Heidi fell to her knees in the grass, allowing herself to release the wave of grief settling over her. Her tears were silent, though she gasped for air as her body shook from the force of her grief. When the last tear finally fell, she pushed herself resolutely back to her feet.

  There was still a long way to go until she reached the edge of the plains.

  Steeling herself, she took one step, then another, pushing away the pain and all thoughts of the triad. She wasn’t going back to Old Wayfairer. She would see this through. Gritting her teeth, she picked up her pace, relying on her training to push through as she ran across the plains.

  Running distances was nothing. Being with the Ragoru had made her soft—pampered. She was the Night Huntress, the assassin. She could run for hours every day, wearing her full leather, without a problem. She would make her way to Dunvar without delay.

  Gund thought that he had won. Perhaps that was it the entire time? She didn’t want to think of it—the very idea of that level of betrayal shattered her heart. Yet it was not beyond possibility that this was nothing more than the playing out of a very long game for him so that he could break her and cast her aside.

  She couldn’t believe it of Orth, or even Tah. The pain in their eyes had been too real. But cold, calculating Gund, who didn’t even look at her as he left and sent Orth to give her his decision? It was possible. Every sweet word and loving caress felt like a lie that she wanted to cleanse from her mind and scrub from her skin. As anger ate at her, it gave her renewed energy to spend on the chase.

  Heidi ran far, stopping to rest only once it became too dark to run and beginning again early in the morning after eating a portion of hard trail rations that she’d been carrying around for weeks now. She ran until she could see the hills in the distance, and she smiled grimly at the sight. Soon, she would be out of the plains.

  26

  Heidi slowed as she arrived at a river bisecting the plains. She heard the roar of wa
ter long before she saw it, but now that she had a glimpse of it, it was an impressive sight. The tracks ran over a bridge, the water furious as it swept beneath it. She eyed the bridge with misgivings. While it looked stable enough for a train, it didn’t look safe to walk upon.

  She would have to be careful.

  As she drew closer to it, the water became even louder. So loud that it nearly drowned out any other sound. She stared down at the churning water with interest. Although the track looked hazardous, the murky, foaming water was something that she didn’t want to attempt to cross on her own power. She watched it in fascination as she continued along the embankment, following the track toward the bridge.

  Just ahead, she caught a movement out of the corner of her eye. She stilled, her breath rushing out of her as she slowly turned her head. No fewer than five creatures filled her vision as she faced them. She held down the panic beating in her chest with iron control as they trotted toward her, their muscled bodies moving with unprecedented speed. Every warning from her training and those from the Atlavans crashed through her as they raced toward her.

  There was a reason that she was told to remain out of sight. She had no chance of outrunning Mintars.

  Knowing that it was futile to run, that even if she attempted to rush into the river that they would have her before she even touched water, kept her still. She took the opportunity in the face of such futility to look upon the creatures.

  They were both magnificent and horrifying to look upon. They had long backs, bodies like horses except that they were covered in scales that trailed down four muscular legs to the claw-like feet that moved over the ground with astonishing speed. The tail that whipped behind them had a long tuft of hair at the end, the same color as the manes that spilled down their backs. Scales sprung up from where the neck would have sprouted from the humanlike torsos of the beasts. Their ears were large and lay flat against skulls that lacked hair except for the mohawk of their mane that ran in a strip down the center of their heads. Each male had long, curving black horns that sprouted from their heads, resembling bulls. Their coloration was similar, from their dusky red scales and black horns to their lavender eyes. One male had a giant grass snake draped over his arm, its massive coils almost dwarfing his muscular form.