Chasing Serenity

by Ashley, Kristen

  She was hot and tight, and they both knew he’d eventually take her there, even if he hadn’t yet.

  But this was something else.

  It was more than sex. More than intimacy. More than connection.

  It was all that, for certain.

  It was also claiming.

  She was his everywhere.

  She wanted him to know it.

  And he wanted her to know that he loved having it.

  As if to make that point, not moving her body an inch, she shifted only her head to kiss the underside of his jaw before she settled into his shoulder and melted further into his frame.

  “You good?” he asked unnecessarily.

  “I’m fabulous, mon beau,” she murmured contentedly.

  He stroked her gently in her ass and her pussy contracted around his softening cock.

  He did this before saying, “I ever do anything that you don’t dig, you tell me, baby.”

  “I need it.”

  Not knowing where that came from or what it referred to, Judge blinked at the gleaming hair on top of her head.

  “You need…?” He let that trail.

  She lifted her head again and looked down at him.

  Her eyes caught his but fled to the pillow beside him before she stammered, “I need you to…I need…to be yours.”

  He still didn’t get what was happening, now not understanding why she couldn’t look at him when she said that because it wasn’t news.

  “I need you to be mine too, honey,” he said softly. “And I need to be yours as well.”

  Her gaze came to his.

  “No, Judge, I need you to…” A long hesitation before she declared, “Take over. I need who you are. How you are. In bed.”

  “Right,” he murmured, watching her closely, because she said this like it was an admission, but they’d been fucking a lot for a while now, so what she needed was far from lost on him.

  “I don’t, that doesn’t mean…” she said that fast, but didn’t finish.

  “Chloe, baby, I hope you get I get off in a big way for you. We’re hot as fuck. I need you to be like you are too. I don’t care you assert yourself, that’s hot too. But I’m a control guy, and the fact you get off on that works for me. Huge.”

  She seemed to relax.

  But Judge didn’t like it that she’d been tense in the first place.

  “It isn’t a weakness to enjoy giving up control,” he told her.

  “I know, I just…”

  Again, she didn’t finish.

  “You just what?” he pushed, sliding his finger out and wrapping both hands around her waist to communicate she had his full attention, what she was sharing mattered to him and he wanted her to share it so he could fully understand it.

  “I just don’t want it to become a burden.”

  There it was.

  When she gave him that, he wrapped both arms around her.

  Then he rolled them so she was pinned, kept her in the curve of one arm, but came up on his other elbow.

  Only then did he say, “Baby, stop dooming us. We’re not good, we’re great. In all,” he pressed his hips into hers to make a point, “the ways we can be.”

  “Okay,” she said, but that word was almost timid.

  He didn’t like that, it was not Chloe at all, so to get her out of it, he grinned at her. “If I have a physical day, and you want a ride, I got no problem lying back with you throwing a leg over and doing the work. But I think we both know, the norm is gonna be what it’s been, and I am way down with it.”

  “You…the…” She looked to his forehead, took a second to get her shit together, then she gazed right into his eyes and declared, “The sex is fantastic, Judge. I love who I am when I’m in bed with you. But it’s so much more. It’s so much more. And that—”

  “Trips you.”

  She pressed her lips together and nodded.

  “You’re scared,” he noted.

  “Judge—”

  He dipped his face so his nose brushed hers.

  “Chloe,” he growled, “again, stop dooming us. You’re right. We are. We are so much more. Live it. Be happy in it. Because so many people do not have this, but we do, right now, at dinner earlier with Gen and Duncan, this morning when we were brushing our teeth side by side in your bathroom, tomorrow morning when we do the same. Stop looking back and stop fretting about the future. Doing that builds nothing in the now. Which is where we are. It’s always where we are. It’s impossible to be anywhere else. And I, for one, fucking love being here.”

  She gazed up at him, her heart in her eyes, which meant Judge’s slid up into his throat.

  She then touched his check, ran her thumb along his lower lip.

  And then she said, “Okay, Judge.”

  Time to move them past that and into a new now.

  “You leaking?” he asked gently.

  She nodded.

  “You or me?” he inquired after who was going to take care of that.

  “Me,” she answered. “I’ll be right back.”

  That was when he nodded, dipped, kissed her deep and thorough, then broke it and rolled off.

  She went to the bathroom to clean up.

  He went to his pajama bottoms to put them on.

  Zeke, who’d been hanging on the dog bed on the floor that Chloe bought him (which was a pink faux fur that looked like a sheepskin, but that hid it was orthopedic memory foam—a bed that Judge had decreed upon sight Zeke would reject, but he’d immediately been disproved because Zeke loved it), joined him in the human bed.

  Chloe came back, grabbed panties and a nightie, put them on and climbed in with her two boys.

  They each turned out their lights, met in the middle and snuggled with a dog on their toes.

  “Mom likes you,” she said quietly into his throat.

  “I’m likeable.”

  “I like you too.”

  Judge grinned into the dark. “Good, because I like you.”

  “We’re so corny,” she sighed.

  “Not sure corny likes her man’s finger up her ass right after he shot a load up her pussy. That’s more aptly described as hot…and tight.”

  She pulled slightly away (slightly) and slapped his arm. “Judge! Don’t be vulgar.”

  Judge kept grinning and declared, “I’m buying lube.”

  “Oh my God,” she said, totally fake harassed because she said it settling back into him. “You’re insufferable.”

  “And you’re gonna get your ass fucked.”

  She shifted against him.

  “Had that before?” he grunted, not wanting to know if that was a yes, but needing to if it was a no.

  “No,” she whispered.

  Fuck.

  That would always only be his.

  Instead of howling his elation, he stated, “You don’t like it, we’ll stop.”

  “I like everything you do.”

  Yeah, she did.

  He pulled her closer and was grinning again.

  “We’ve done it,” she declared.

  “What?” he asked.

  “We’ve managed to make assplay corny.”

  For a second, Judge did nothing.

  Then, his arms convulsing around his woman, he burst out laughing.

  * * *

  One week later…

  It was the next Saturday night and Judge was driving them away from dinner at her dad’s house.

  It had become a thing.

  They’d fallen into a variety of rituals.

  Wednesday, up in Prescott, Chloe showed after she drove up from work, and since she usually arrived between seven and eight, he either had dinner waiting for her, or they went out.

  Sometimes, Rix met them out. Sometimes, a few of his friends met them out. Sometimes, it was just them.

  Thursday night, Judge came home to her cooking.

  Friday morning, she made the massive sacrifice of getting up early and getting ready with him. He made the massive sacrifice of not tellin
g her every time how adorable she was in her grumpy morning moods.

  She went down the mountain.

  He and Zeke went down it nine hours later.

  Friday night was date night, no exceptions. Dinner. Maybe dinner and a movie. And then home, fuck and sleep.

  When she worked during the day Saturday, he and Zeke took runs or hikes around the Phoenix area. Chloe would sometimes leave a grocery list that said, If you have the time and inclination, chéri… (he always did). He met with friends who lived in the Valley. And he always ran the vacuum, top to bottom in her house before she got home, so Zeke didn’t leave her with a layer of fur everywhere that she had to clean up.

  She came home, and they often went out with her friends. They also had their Cooking Club at Mi and Jacob’s, which Rix drove down to attend (and he’d stayed with Chloe and Judge). The next Club at Chloe’s, Rix came to as well. The next was that following week, and they’d decided on a change of plans, with Chloe spending the weekend at his, and Rix, Mi and Jacob cooking in his kitchen, with Mi and Jake spending the night.

  In Phoenix, on Saturdays, they might also meet Genny and Duncan for dinner like they had the weekend before (if they were in town).

  Or, more often, went out to dinner with Tom or to his house to eat.

  Like tonight.

  Sundays for them were sacrosanct. Time in. Sleeping in. Cooking together. Eating. Fucking. Zoning out in front of the TV. Sometimes reading together.

  No chores. No errands. Just togetherness.

  Judge woke early Monday so he and Zeke could get up to Prescott.

  The only blip in this was when he had to take a trip to a new school they were introducing the program to in Denver, so he could go to an assembly, talk to the kids, pitch the program and get recruits.

  They’d been together four months.

  Chloe gave more than any girlfriend had before.

  It still wasn’t enough.

  This was an issue, because if it wasn’t enough already, it was only going to feel more that way.

  And he had no desire to move to Phoenix.

  She’d confessed LA was out, but she did not say she’d lied about not wanting to move to Prescott.

  Shit was eventually going to get real, and that was going to be sooner rather than later.

  Because he hated to leave on Monday morning, she didn’t even try to hide she hated it too, they were going to be apart only three days and not even full days.

  And they both thought it sucked.

  Because it sucked.

  So, yeah.

  It was going to get real.

  Soon.

  But right now, she was unusually quiet.

  He gave her that until they were on Scottsdale Road and he was done giving it to her.

  “Where’s your head at?”

  “He’s lonely.”

  Tom Pierce adored his daughter, and Judge could not deny that it felt super fucking good that Tom liked Judge for his girl.

  He not only showed it on a variety of occasions, at one point, a few weeks ago, when Chloe had excused herself to go to the bathroom, he’d shared it straight out.

  “You are not what I expected,” he’d said. “And that’s a good thing. I won’t betray her confidence by telling you something it’s hers to tell, but I’m pleased she’s finally with a man who cares more about her than whatever he’s convinced himself is more important than the woman in his life. Nothing is more important than that. I’ve heard the road’s been rocky. I won’t speak for Sasha, she has her work to do after she behaved the way she did. But you should know, it brings me relief Chloe isn’t carrying it all on her shoulders anymore. She has someone who will help her bear the weight. Or help her to understand, she can choose to lose it when she’s ready.”

  Yeah.

  That was what he said.

  So yeah, that felt fucking great.

  Nevertheless, Chloe was correct.

  Tom was lonely.

  …whatever he’s convinced himself is more important than the woman in his life. Nothing is more important than that.

  Yup.

  He might have come to terms with the fact that Genny was with Duncan and that was a good thing, he was still totally lonely.

  And still kicking himself in the ass.

  “I have…something to tell you,” she said.

  “What?” he asked warily, since he wasn’t a fan of the way she was speaking.

  It was hesitant, unsure, and two things his Chloe was not was either of those.

  “Uncle Corey left me something.”

  “Sorry?”

  “He left me something. After he died.”

  Okay, now he got it.

  She was always iffy when she talked about a man she knew as loving and supportive, but he’d betrayed them all in a hideous way it was impossible to wrap your head around.

  “Right,” he replied. “What was it?”

  “A person.”

  He wasn’t expecting that.

  “A person?”

  “A…I don’t know what he is.”

  He glanced at her and prompted low, “Chloe.”

  “I think he’s…I don’t know, he’s too…sinister to be just a detective. I think he’s a fixer.”

  She had his full attention before.

  She had that wired now.

  “What are you talking about?” he demanded.

  “When we get home, I’ll show you. I didn’t know he was amassing it, nor did I ask for it, but he gave me a file. On…well, Dad.”

  “Jesus Christ,” Judge bit. “Are you serious?”

  “Yes.”

  “What’s in this file?”

  “It isn’t exactly about Dad. You see, I hired someone myself to…look into…Dad’s lover. The woman he cheated on Mom with.”

  “Christ, Chloe,” he muttered.

  “But they were…they covered their tracks. My investigator could get no leads. But, we can just say, Corey’s man found everything about her and gave it to me.”

  Judge said nothing because he couldn’t believe what was coming out of her mouth and he was trying to wrap his head around it.

  “The thing is, that’s not Dad…to cheat. She has to be something special. And I thought—”

  “You thought you’d find her and fix them up like you interfered with Genny and Duncan.”

  What she did with Genny and Duncan was cute because it worked out great.

  It could have gone a totally different way though.

  Like this could.

  “I didn’t interfere,” she shot back. “I’d categorize it more like a…nudge.”

  Like she wanted to “prod” his father into “socializing.”

  Fucking hell.

  “Regardless of the outcome, I’m not sure Genny would feel the same way. Duncan dotes on you, and he’s beside himself Genny is back in his life. But if you weren’t you, Duncan might not feel that way either.”

  He knew she’d turned to him when she said his name.

  “Judge.”

  “Burn that file.”

  “Judge!” she snapped.

  “And tell this guy to take a hike.”

  “I didn’t ask him to help. I actually don’t know how he knew I was looking for her. Unless he’s…keeping tabs on me.”

  “Fucking shit,” Judge bit. “Are you serious right now?”

  “Judge, don’t overreact. This is very Uncle Corey.”

  “Don’t overreact when you tell me some sinister fixer is keeping tabs on you and giving you files on people in your dad’s life he took pains to keep private?”

  “It doesn’t sound good when it’s put that way,” she griped.

  “That’s because it’s not good, Chloe.”

  “I think I should call him,” she stated snootily.

  “Do not do that.”

  “Dad can’t have dinner every Saturday with one of his daughters.”

  “Like your sister, and your brother, your father is a grown-ass man who can sort o
ut his own life. And newsflash, doll, if he was sitting right here, he’d tell you the same thing.”

  “Sasha and Matt’s issues are not the same as Dad’s. Sometimes people need a little…push.”

  “This is a very bad idea,” he told her, then something occurred to him. “Has this guy given you info on me?”

  “No. Which I assume means Uncle Corey would approve of you, and obviously, I must concur.”

  “So your research on me was your own.”

  “Totally.”

  At least there was that.

  “Is this all he’s done?”

  “He sent the file and dropped by the shop to…I guess mostly to introduce himself. This was months ago. Before we even got together. I haven’t heard from him since.”

  “Maybe he’ll fuck off himself,” Judge muttered.

  “I’m not sure I want him to,” she replied. “Dad’s lover lives in Phoenix, and I’ve wracked my brain, but I can’t for the life of me figure out how to arrange for them to run into each other, or something. It would be best if there was a damsel in distress situation, Dad would be all over that. But she’s irksomely…together. I sense this Rhys guy has skills where he can help.”

  Judge took a deep breath.

  Then another one.

  Then he said, “Chloe, baby, honey, listen very closely to me. Are you listening?”

  “Yes, Judge,” she sighed, already knowing what was coming.

  He gave it to her anyway.

  “Do…not…contact…this…man…or…meddle…in…your father’s…love life. Are you hearing me?”

  “I am hearing and listening, Judge. I just don’t know if I agree with you.”

  Judge grew silent.

  Chloe didn’t.

  She blew his argument to smithereens.

  “You aren’t close to your father, like I am. You still love him, like I do my own. And it’s base to throw something in your face at any time, but especially during a charged discussion. However, I will remind you that you gave me free rein to meddle in your father’s life. You did this because you’re concerned he’s not coping with the death of his wife. Now tell me, why is it okay for me to interfere with Jameson Oakley, and not Tom Pierce?”

  “I was kind of kidding,” he prevaricated.

  “You were not,” she called him on it.

  “Dad needs a shakeup. And I’ll point out, you haven’t even met him so the danger of you nudging him is very low.”