by Tiana Laveen
“You make me feel good, Jessica. So good…”
She kissed him then, claiming his lips in an intense, heartfelt kiss. He felt a light tremble from her body as she kissed him again. Then again. He lay on his back and cradled her close as she straddled him. Tongues gliding against one another, they made love emotionally, connecting on a level no one but they could ever fully understand. His breathing accelerated when he felt her hands on his dick, slowly stroking it up and down. Ending the kiss, she slid down between his legs and licked the full length of his cock.
“You’ve got a nice dick. I’m sure you know that though,” she said, then plunged it halfway in her mouth, making him lose his damn mind again.
“Whoa! Whooo!” He gripped the sheets and stared at the ceiling.
His body was electric from her oral embrace. She stole his soul, sucked it right out of the shell.
The woman worked her mouth like a damn vacuum over his rock-hard rod. Soon, he broke down and fell apart as she sucked him to Heaven and back. She switched between his balls and dick, expertly licking and lavishing them with precision and perfect attention. She was a true lover, giving her all to each touch she delivered. He glanced at her and all he could see was her head bobbing up and down. Reaching a shaking hand to the top of her head, he jerked and thrust harder, faster, pumping his hips as he neared his release. Phil Collins crooned, ‘In the Air Tonight’.
“I’m going to cum if you keep on like that.” He groaned, then used whatever strength he had left to pull her away from his dick. But he wanted more, so much more. The cool air hit his engorged flesh, awakening his senses further.
Placing her on her back, he gave her right breast a kiss then reached for the condom on the nightstand. Their eyes hooked as he sheathed himself, his heart beating so loud, he was certain if his neighbors listened hard enough they’d hear it too. His thighs between hers, he grinded against her nub, delivering dry thrusts, working her up. She smiled at him and wrapped her arms around his neck, crisscrossing her wrists.
“You have such soulful eyes,” he complemented before delivering a kiss.
“And I love how you look into them.” Her lids fluttered as he reached between them and grabbed his dick. Positioning it at her slit, he rubbed against her moist entrance then plunged within her sweet walls. “Ohhh, shit! Shit!”
She squeezed her eyes shut, her body vibrating. He started with slow thrusts, then slid deeper and deeper within her until he was balls deep. She was tight… hot… wet…soft… beautiful.
“This puuuussy! Fuck! Baby, you just don’t know!” It felt so damn good, he had to think of a name for it, but for now, he planned to dominate it. Destroy it. Let her know how much he cared. The headboard beat against the wall as he crashed inside her. Her screams were lovely… just like her.
“You like that pussy, baby?!” she cooed, gyrating her hips to meet his thrusts and nasty plunges. She danced with him, rocked with him, rolled with him.
“I love your pussy, baby… It’s the 8th wonder of the damn world.” She laughed lightly at his words, and he smiled, so happy she was enjoying herself in more ways than one. “So glad you came by tonight… I got more than donuts. Well, I got a donut all right and it’s a damn nice one! Why didn’t I ask you to come over and talk sooner?!”
She slapped him playfully on the shoulder, but he drew serious as his climax mounted, threatening to break free. Lowering himself down on her, he gripped her hips hard, pressing into her body as he delivered furious thrusts. She clawed at his back, cursed, begged…
The bed squeaked and rocked as he took her, their mutual moans and sighs threatening to climb octaves louder than Mr. Big crooning, ‘To Be With You’. They made love – that’s what this was.
Her thighs around his waist, he unleashed and groaned. Hungry thrusts brought him to his end, his dick plummeting impossibly deeper inside her, making her yell out his name as he filled the condom in rough spurts. Breathing hard, he lay on top of her, unable to move even if he wished. They clasped on to one another, in desperate need of each other’s air to breathe. Fingers intertwined along the pillow behind her head, he linked their ankles, too, and prayed that when he caught his breath, he could tell her what was in his heart.
He was falling in love…
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Pain and Suffering in the Lake of Fire
The buzz of a lawn mower could be heard as the early sun glided soft pale fingers past two awkwardly turned blinds in Kane’s bedroom window. Jessica blinked several times from the bed, feeling dazed, in a fog, her body satisfied and limbs loose. His heavy head had cut off the circulation in her arm as he slept against her shoulder. Pinkish lips slightly parted, eyes closed and resting like an angel, she didn’t dare wiggle too much or try to rouse him. She wanted to savor a little longer the sight of the man all stretched out against her like he was a part of her, an appendage that was meant to be. His close shaven dark beard almost glistened in the sunlight and his skin possessed a healthy glow. Downright radiant.
His unruly dark hair made him all the more mesmerizing in her eyes. The strands stopped right below his shoulders when he stood tall, but it was so thick with slight waves that it looked like a sable ocean, saturating and extinguishing the fires of her trepidations.
Why can’t I just have another couple of hours? I have to get up and head to work. But I don’t want to wake him just yet.
She smiled as she traveled her gaze down his naked body. Muscular long arms, and beautiful abs which she was certain he maintained from the exercise equipment he had in a spare room. His chest was broad and covered with downy, dark hair. A trail of fuzz began from his navel, down to his groin to join a thatch of dark brown pubic hair, a bit coarser than the strands that grew out of his head. Her smile turned into a wicked grin. Even in his resting state, his dick was a thing of beauty.
Not quite as long and thick as when he was sexually aroused, it was still quite impressive, the flesh a richer hue than the rest of his form. Her visual tour ceased when she noticed the angry, long scar. It reminded her of a slender red snake, the scales made of misery and cold-blooded hurt. She adjusted her position ever so carefully to get a better look. She hadn’t noticed it last night, but now, in better natural light, it was in full view.
I wonder how he got that? Her fingertips tingled, for she wished to reach out and touch it. In some odd way, it suited him. He began to move against her. The air carried a faint scent of salt that reminded her of the beach. That’s it. He smells like salted caramel and sun-drenched sand, naturally. He blinked and rubbed his eyes, then yawned before focusing on her. The skin across his cheekbones drew tight as he smiled, his sapphire eyes still half closed.
“Well, good mornin’, Beautiful.” He pressed his lips against hers then leaned against the silver quilted headboard. He was feeling lazy, no doubt. That made two of them.
“Good morning. How’d you sleep, Kane?” She leaned on her side, facing him with her arm propped under her head along the fluffy pillow.
“Real good. How about you?”
“Like a dream come true.” He caressed her cheek with his thumb.
“I’m glad to hear it.” He yawned and stretched, then closed the blinds with a remote control. The bit of sunlight streaming in disappeared like a hippo closing its gaping mouth.
“Now isn’t that high tech.”
They got more comfortable under the sheets, cuddling in the calming heat. “Why’d you block out the sun? What did she ever do to you? Are you a vampire?” she teased.
“There’s still a little light comin’ in from the small window of the bathroom. I can see you clear as day.” She looked over at his master suite bathroom, the door ajar. He was right. Some light did filter through, as stingy as it was. Before she could ask a follow-up question, he drew closer to her and landed a tender kiss on her lips. “Besides, I like it like this. It blocks out distractions. Sometimes to just be in the dark like this is therapeutic. Makes you focus, pay attention. Makes all of
your other senses stronger.” She couldn’t argue with that. “I force myself to do it… to feel the darkness, to be okay with myself in it, surrounded by it. I have to do it so I can try to find myself again but now that you’re here, I wanted to see if that feeling would change.”
“Did it?”
“It did. For the better.” She leaned in and caressed his broad shoulder, feeling the fine hairs brush against her palm. She could also feel a number of scars, probably from childhood, maybe from chicken pox and rough and tumble play. He was a beautiful canvas of foolishness, pride, bravado, adventure and joy.
“I see light in blackness.” His blue eyes narrowed on her. “All points of light come from the dark. If we didn’t know what darkness was, we could never define light. In the darkness, things grow, too. Sometimes people forget that.”
Mama’s face popped into her mind at that moment. Who in the hell would want to think about their mother after rolling in the sack? But Jessica just couldn’t help it. His words must have had a double meaning too, just like Mama’s often did.
“Do you feel dark inside?” She wasn’t certain why that question popped out; perhaps it was a way to get the focus off herself.
“Of course I do. We come from the Earth. Man is nature. I feel dark inside on my good and bad days. I’m not sure if you’re talking about what’s going on in my head, heart, or soul though.”
“That’s fair. I’m not sure which I mean, either. The question just came to me and I wanted to hear your answer. I must need the answer, or I wouldn’t have asked it. I’m kind of floating right now, like a cloud. I guess good sex will do that.” He grinned at her words. “So you don’t prescribe to that God over science debate? You mentioned nature and the Earth.”
The man shrugged.
“You know the thing about me, baby, is that I don’t see everything as all or nothin’ when it comes to this. Why can’t we believe both? God made science, right? At least in my book.”
“I believe God made all good things. I believe God can’t believe I’m even bringing his name up right now while I lie here naked with this man.” They both laughed at that.
“God created sex. He created love.” His voice was somber. “I ain’t ashamed of it. He knows my heart and how I feel about you.” Her body stirred from his words. “Jessica, honestly, I question everything now. That doesn’t mean I throw all of my Biblical beliefs away that I was raised with and grew up learning. But I believe in logic, too, and if something doesn’t make sense, then I’m not buying it. I do care about who says it’s true.” She nodded in agreement. “People all over the world have been selling snake oil since the beginning of time… and we’ve been drinking it and wondering why it never works, but we keep buying it anyway because the truth tastes ten times worse and doesn’t go down as easy.”
“Lies are sweet sometimes, ain’t they? Like the donuts I gave you.”
“The lie appeals to our frailties. The shit that’s bad for you always tastes better. The truth feeds our soul. That’s why the world is starvin’. Our diet is based on deceits. Everyone has a million filters on their social media photos. See ’em in person and you can’t even recognize them. We feed off lies day in and day out, so much so, we no longer even know the truth.
“Fake news is the real news, and the real news is questionable. Everything is blurring. Reality is distorted. Our baseline for common sense is gone. We’re on spiritual life support. I’ve been accused of being empty, too. My parents said because I strayed from what they wanted me to do, I brought all of this on myself. They claimed it was God’s will. They said because I wasn’t following God’s word, I was in the car accident.” His eyes hooded and the room filled with a ghostly chill. Goosebumps rose on her arm, but not on his. “They said I was spared and given a second chance, but that God took away my love for the outdoors so that for now, I could be inside and study His word.
“They ignored what the therapists told ’em at the time, about PTSD, post-traumatic stress disorder. My parents didn’t give a shit about my anxiety; the seriousness of the matter that was getting worse and worse each month. My girlfriend at the time had somehow become convinced that I was cursed, perhaps evil. I was in a dark state, and all I thought about was death. She wanted to talk about big weddings, new cars, houses and babies… That was the farthest thing from my mind. I was no longer any good to her. She told me it was over, but I’d already told ’er it was done. To save her ego, she tried to twist it like it was her idea to part ways. I set down the gun. She picked it up and pulled the trigger. Doesn’t really matter who, what, and when. What matters is that it’s over and you find out who really loves you during the hard times, not just the good ones.”
“I know something about that, too.” She hung her head then looked back at him. “It sounds like you had no support whatsoever. You have to have someone in your corner during a trauma like that, but it sounds like you were alone. It’s a shame your girlfriend and family couldn’t work together to help you, or at least give you comfort.”
“Work together? Oh please! My parents blamed me for that, too. You know, the breakup. She was the daughter of a pastor from a megachurch they’d joined, all gung-ho about the future. My ex’s father was a real card. I thought he was a great guy; he had me fooled, too. He contacted me and said I needed to make things right with his daughter. I didn’t dare tell him the truth though because it was none of his business.”
“What truth?”
“She’d gone through this virgin ceremony in high school. She wasn’t no damn virgin.” He rolled his eyes. “And that happened way before I’d entered the picture. The woman could also drink ten raging sailors and five drunken whores under the table. Anyway, he wanted to find out a good time to meet up with me over coffee so I could get my act together. He said I needed to go through some special program he had set up at his church, and if I didn’t do as he asked, there would be consequences.”
“What kind of consequences?”
He paused for a long while. “Like he’d make things hard for me… He had that type of influence. I couldn’t believe it. Everyone loved this guy, Jessica. But he was a wolf in sheep’s clothing. My father has a successful car detailing business, a chain of ’em. There were benefits to our families merging. I grew up Southern Baptist, but the stuff he was saying was extreme, like me needing to confess my sins to him. That has never been in our beliefs! He just wanted to pick my brain while I was vulnerable, to find out stuff that was none of his concern. I told him to go to Hell. Just thinking about it makes me sick!”
He pressed his eyes closed as if he had a sudden headache. When he opened them again, they were darker… much darker.
“Go on…” She encouraged him to keep purging, keep speaking his truth. Jessica had a strange feeling the man had never told the story from beginning to end to anyone, and she guessed she was only receiving a fraction of the pie even now.
“When I told him to go to Hell, he told me I was already rightfully there, then made some snide comment about my prior football career in college, the party, the crash and Lamont. Dead Lamont… dead best friend… all on account of me. See, I confided in this man regarding my guilt and struggles before the breakup with his daughter. He’d already gotten a taste of what was in my mind. Was he doin’ the Lord’s work by hittin’ me where it hurt?”
“I think you already know the answer to that.” Her chest tightened as she noted the pain in his eyes.
“It’s been a nightmare, Jessica.”
“I’m not religious, but I grew up in the church, too. I definitely believe in the good Lord and nothing you’re describing sounds like the Lord’s work. Forget for a second what others may believe. What do you think? You think God was punishing you for something you did?”
“I did when it first happened, but after a while, no. I don’t believe God works that way, either. I’m not sure how God works, but that doesn’t seem right. Hell, what do I know?” He exhaled loudly, then picked up a cigarette from his nightstand
and lit it. She waited patiently while he got himself together, wrapped his brain around his confessions. “I honestly don’t blame God for any of this. How can God be loving and then hurtful at the same time? So, is God hurtin’ the starvin’ kids in the world, too? Are only rich folks blessed by God? I swear, everything is sure backwards nowadays, Jessica.”
Taking the cigarette from him, she gave it a puff. She handed it back and relished the flavor because she hadn’t smoked in years. She didn’t crave the cigarette because of what it was, how it looked or smelled; she craved it because he did, and she wanted a piece of that magic.
“Who do you blame?”
“I blame the people who pretended to be God fearin’ and lovin’ and set me up for failure, making the situation worse, including my own damn family. What God tears apart a family? None that I serve. I ain’t never felt in my spirit, my very soul, that God has told people to kill their kids or be a menace to their family, stuff like that.”
“You’re referring to the story of Abraham…”
She didn’t miss how his lips curled and a sheen came over his eyes, as if he were moved by what she said.
“Yeah, the story of Abraham… He was told to sacrifice his son, Isaac. Now why would a God we worship and praise ask us to do that?”
A rhetorical question. Jessica didn’t particularly care for religious discussions, but this was different. Kane was entrenched in it and struggled with it. His very upbringing had torn everything he loved apart. “A man wrote that story, Jessica, and men are flawed. It don’t sit right in my soul. I think mankind went and twisted God’s word. I think it’s evil. I think some of these theological scholars know the truth and are hiding it because without religion, people would be runnin’ amuck. If you put the fear of God in us, we think twice, or at least, most of us do. Why do I have to be afraid of my own heavenly Father? I’m rambling, but why can’t I just do the right thing because I know God expects greatness from me? How can God be loving and forgiving but jealous and destructive at the same time?”
