Tomorrow I need to send Carter somewhere to buy Kenzie pajamas; if he can’t find something, she can sleep in my T-shirts every night. Maybe I should insist she change tonight—
“Good night, Nicholas.”
“Night, Kenzie.”
I’m screwed… I’m fucking screwed.
Chapter 13
Nicholas
Curled up next to me is Kenzie: her head is next to mine, her chin resting on my shoulder and her leg is just over mine. When I finally managed to fall asleep very late last night, I was as far over on the one side of the bed as I could possibly be without falling out. I wanted to avoid touching her at all costs—it was hard enough to know what she was wearing under the blankets, I don’t know how I would have handled actually touching her. Yet as I take in the bed this morning, I realize that we are both now lying in the middle of the bed, and her beautiful body is now wrapped around mine. I should get up; I should go start coffee or something and let her sleep. I should get out of bed before I do something stupid. I should—
“Hmmmmm,” Kenzie moans in her sleep and cuddles even closer to me. Her arm is across my stomach, her hand resting on my hip as if she is trying to hold me to her. It doesn’t sound like she is having a nightmare, but I still worry nonetheless. I wrap my arm around her back, wanting to comfort her if it starts, but thankfully she doesn’t moan again or cry out.
Every time we have slept in the same bed, I’ve woken to find her in my arms; this is the first time that I’ve woken to find myself in her arms. When I hear Kenzie’s breathing change a few moments later, I realize that she is awake and probably taking in our sleeping positions just as I did. I gently rub her back with my hand, letting her know that I’m awake but not saying anything either. I glance at the clock, surprised to find that it’s already after nine and that’s when it hits me.
I didn’t have a nightmare last night.
“No, you didn’t,” she confirms which is when I realize I had spoken aloud.
I can’t remember ever going two consecutive nights without having a nightmare—it’s never happened. For years the nightmares were every night, sometimes multiple times a night, especially when I was younger. Nothing helped: sleeping pills, different types of therapy, medication–nothing. Was last night a fluke? Was I just over tired from all the traveling? Could the time change have affected the nightmares somehow? Could it have been—
“Did you sleep okay?” Kenzie asks.
“I did, you?”
I don’t admit that I slept fucking fantastic for the second night in a row. I can’t admit that, not until I know the reason. I need to figure out what was so different about last night and the night before that caused me to sleep so fucking good. I need to figure it out so once we get back to New York I can continue doing it. I haven’t slept this good… ever.
“I slept really good; it was nice hearing the ocean in the middle of the night,” she says.
“It was.”
“Nicholas,” she leans up so she can look at me. “Thank you again for bringing me here, this is… so much more than I ever could have imagined for a honeymoon. I know I keep saying thank you and it doesn’t seem like enough—”
“Shhhh, you don’t need to thank me.”
“I just want you to know how much this trip means to me. I really appreciate—”
I cut her off by kissing her. I’ve told her to stop trying to thank me, but she won’t stop, so I end it by kissing her. I don’t know why I kissed her instead of just telling her to stop. I wasn’t thinking; I just did it. She giggles against my lips when she realizes what I’ve done, but she doesn’t make any attempt to stop me from kissing her. In fact, instead of stopping me she deepens the kiss. Her tongue is quickly at my lips, seeking entry which I immediately grant her.
My arm naturally tightens around her waist, bringing her even closer to me. I can’t help but run my other hand up and down the side of Kenzie’s body, feeling every inch of her that I can reach from this position. When I reach her bare leg, I slowly slide my hand up her thigh until I reach the hem of the nightie she is wearing. I pause, not knowing if this is what she wants… Hell I don’t know if this is what I want.
“Mmmmmm,” I moan, I fucking moan, when Kenzie cautiously takes my hand and urges me to continue exploring her body on the path that I was on.
Her breathing hitches when my hand slips under her nightie, and I grasp her ass gently, loving the way it feels in my hand. Needing to feel her closer to me, I know I need to adjust how we are lying. I roll onto my side, gently moving Kenzie so she does the same. I don’t know where the boldness comes from, but she wraps her arm around my lower back and gently pulls me closer to her as she rests her leg on mine. Our bodies are so close, there is no way that she can’t know how turned on I am right now. My dick is fucking begging to come out, but I don’t dare do that. I don’t know where this is exactly going right now, but I know fucking her isn’t an option. It would complicate things far too much… besides what if I did something that freaked her out again?
My hands return to exploring her body—only this time I venture up her nightie rather than down. I cautiously take her breast in my hand, giving her every opportunity to stop whatever this is that is happening between us. Instead, she moans and pushes her chest against my hand. Motivated by her obvious enjoyment, I roll her hardened nipple between my thumb and finger.
I’ve wondered how her breasts would feel like since the first time I saw her swimming in the pool at Accord Towers. The reality is so much better than what I imagined. I don’t know how things have gotten this far with Kenzie; I don’t know how we’ve gotten to the point that we’re lying in bed next to each other with my hands all over her body. We should stop—I should insist that after today I sleep on the couch. I don’t want to complicate our already complicated arrangement but… it’s already done. Things are already complicated between us, this… this just adds to it.
“Nicholas,” she gasps when I pinch her nipple just the smallest amount and any thought of stopping is gone.
A groan escapes me when she starts moving slowly; her breathing increases as she rocks herself against my dick. I know I’m rubbing against her clit with each movement. I’m so fucking tempted to destroy the barriers between us and slide right into her. I can only imagine how good she would feel, just the thought of being inside of Kenzie has me nearly coming in my shorts. I’ve never been this turned on; I’ve never been ready to come so quickly. If she continues rubbing against me the way she is right now, I’m going to completely embarrass myself.
Realizing I need to do something, I reluctantly move my hand away from her nipples, and I make my way back down her soft ass. I can tell she is wearing a thong and can only imagine that it must match her nightie perfectly. Ever so slowly, I slip my hand between us and tease her clit with my fingers. I watch her reaction to ensure that nothing I’m doing is something she might not want, but when her breathing hitches at my intimate touch I know that she won’t be pulling away anytime soon.
It would be so easy to lower my shorts, pull her thong aside and slide right into her. If things weren’t so complicated between us, I would do just that. How do I know that fucking her wouldn’t complicate our arrangement even more than it already is? What if I’m rough with her and she freaks out like the other night? What if—
“Nicholas,” when she pants my name I nearly lose it right then and there.
“I got you, baby,” I whisper before pulling her even tighter against me and slipping my hand into her damp thong.
She moans and pushes herself against my hand the moment my fingers find her clit. I am so busy focusing on how fucking wonderful she feels as she moves against my fingers, that I don’t realize at some point she managed to get her arm between us until I feel her fingers tentatively wrap around my dick.
“Kenzie!” I hiss.
I need to focus on her and not on how her hand feels better on me than I ever could have imagined. No longer concerned that she migh
t not want things to move in this direction between us, I slip my fingers through her wet folds before circling her opening with them.
“OH!” she cries out when I slip one finger into her throbbing sex.
Her walls are convulsing around me as she grips me tighter, stroking me faster as if she’s trying to tell me what she needs from me. With my thumb on her clit, I slip another finger into her core and begin moving against her. We’re both panting, the only sounds that can be heard are our moans and groans as we both chase the release we desperately want. I can’t remember the last time I just fooled around with a woman without actually fucking them, but right now… hell it just feels fucking amazing.
I can tell Kenzie is getting closer to her release as her breathing picks up and her body tenses. Her walls start tightening around me further, trying to suck my fingers deeper into her. Yet, through it all, she doesn’t stop trying to please me. She’s stroking my throbbing dick with her fingers teasing my balls every so often when I least expect it. I’m thrusting against her hand without even realizing it. It takes everything in me not to spill myself into her hand, but I refuse to come until she does.
Adding a little more pressure to her throbbing clit has her coming apart, screaming my name seconds later. I’ve had women call out my name when they came, but nothing has ever sounded as amazing as hearing my name on Kenzie’s lips when she is in the throes of an orgasm. I watch her, loving how sexy she looks when she comes. Her mouth forms this perfect O shape as her body continues to clench my fingers tightly, her orgasm not yet ready to end. All I can think is how amazing I bet she would feel if it was my dick inside of her instead.
“Kenzie,” I hiss and thrust one final time against her hand before finding my own release only seconds after hers.
With my arms wrapped around her, I pull her closer against me, kissing her neck as we both try to regain control of our breathing. I can’t fucking believe that just happened. I never thought… okay I hoped… but never actually thought that would happen. Nothing has ever felt so fucking amazing. I’ve never cuddled with a woman; it’s one of the advantages of the club, women there don’t expect this sort of thing. I’d fuck her, make sure she was okay afterwards and then head back out to where Carter would be waiting for me. Even with her cuddling afterward was never expected; we would fuck and then go our separate ways. She never expected anything more.
Yet with Kenzie, I’m the one who instigated the cuddling. It doesn’t feel right to just walk away right now; this… what just happened felt so… different. I don’t even know what to think about it. Maybe it’s because it was with Kenzie or maybe…
“I think I’m going to go take a shower,” Kenzie whispers.
“Me too.”
A few minutes pass before either of us pull apart, but eventually we separate and head to different bathrooms. I feel like I should say something about what just happened, but I don’t know what to say. I don’t regret what just happened—I don’t want Kenzie to think otherwise. I’m just not sure if it should happen again. Even if I didn’t think it would complicate things between us, how can we do that again, knowing it can’t lead any further? At some point things would intensify between us, and we would need to take things to the next level. How can I be certain that I won’t hurt her again? It would kill me to cause a reaction like the one she had the other night again. Especially now that I know her triggers. How would she ever be able to trust me again?
How would it not complicate our arrangement?
FUCK!
When the water runs cold, I realize I’ve been in the shower too long and quickly wash up before turning off the water. I get dressed in the bathroom and head back out to the main area. I don’t immediately find Kenzie, which surprises me, but a few minutes later I find her outside just sort of staring out at the ocean. I wonder what she’s thinking about. Is she regretting what just happened? Or asking me to share the bed last night? Should I insist on sleeping on the couch tonight?
“Oh, there you are,” Kenzie turns around and sees me standing behind her. “Did you know they give boat tours of the island? There’s one that leaves in thirty minutes that I was thinking of going on, did you want to go?”
“Um, sure that sounds nice,” I’m surprised and a little taken back by how she’s acting. It’s as if nothing happened between us; I should be glad that she doesn’t want to dwell on it, but I’m not…
“If you have work to do or wanting to do something else—”
“No, a boat tour of the island sounds nice. I’ll change into swim trunks, and then we can go.”
“Great! I’m going to throw on a bathing suit too, the tour takes off from one of the main beaches, so maybe we can go swimming afterwards.”
“I think they serve lunch on the tour, but if not we can grab something afterwards.”
We both change into swim attire before taking the golf cart that was left for us to the docking area. There are only a handful of people on the tour boat with us, which is nice considering the boat isn’t very large. As we walk around the small boat, I take Kenzie’s hand in mine. I don’t know what it is, but I feel the sudden need to touch her. When I do, she immediately squeezes my hand, almost as if she is thanking me, although for what I don’t know. Maybe she wanted to reach out to me but didn’t feel comfortable after what happened this morning? I don’t want to lose how comfortable we have become with that aspect of our arrangement.
“This is really beautiful,” Kenzie gestures toward the rock beach that we are passing.
We are sitting sort of sideways on a bench seat watching the island as the tour guide explains everything that we are seeing. I’m too busy watching Kenzie to really listen to what he is saying or to take in very much of what we are seeing. This morning was a wakeup call. I don’t know what the fuck I was thinking when I thought this arrangement could remain strictly platonic between us. This stopped becoming a business transaction a long time ago, but I hadn’t expected this part of the arrangement. Up until the night we went to The Summit, I thought the physical attraction was all on my part. I didn’t think Kenzie would be interested in anything beyond the terms of our arrangement. That night everything changed between us, but when I triggered her flashback, I thought she wouldn’t want me to touch her again. But the opposite happened, things between us intensified, and then this morning happened.
“You okay?” Kenzie asks.
“I’m fine,” I lie.
“Don’t over think things,” she leans in and whispers, even though I don’t think anyone is paying much attention to us.
“I’m not,” I lie again.
“Don’t regret what happened, please don’t,” her voice is shaky as she quietly begs me.
“I don’t, Kenzie, I promise you I don’t,” I pull her against me and wrap my arms around her. Her back is against my chest; I watch her close her eyes for a few seconds before opening them again to look out at the water.
I don’t know what changed but when we get off the boat things are sort of back to normal between us. We stay on the main beach area, grabbing lunch from one of the restaurants and bringing it back to our chairs, opting to eat on the beach rather than inside. We chat about everything and anything, but neither of us brings up what happened this morning. We don’t necessarily avoid the topic, it just doesn’t come up. I stop trying to analyze what happened and just enjoy spending the day together.
We spend the day out of the villa, swimming and exploring the island. Kenzie spends most of the day in another tiny bikini that Susan seems to have packed for her. This bikini drives me more crazy today than it did yesterday, although I’m not sure why. Maybe it’s because I know what she feels like beneath the bikini…
“Shit, Kenzie, you’re sunburned!” I gasp as we walk back to the golf cart, and I notice the strap from her top has moved, showing a white line against her red shoulder.
“Really?” she looks at her shoulder.
“Let’s stop and get something to put on that,” I suggest.
“Actually there was stuff in the bathroom already.”
“Okay, let’s get back to the villa and get something on that. I thought you put suntan lotion on earlier?” I swear I saw her spraying stuff on her back when we first got to the beach.
“I did… I guess it wasn’t strong enough.”
We stop at the store and pick up the most powerful suntan lotion they have, several bottles of it, along with a few bottles of lotion that promises to ease the burn of Kenzie’s skin. She laughs at me when I put all the bottles next to the register—I know I bought too much, but I want to make sure we have enough covered for the rest of our trip so this doesn’t happen again.
Chapter 14
Kenzie
The golf cart ride back to our villa is short but every bump causes the fabric of my cover up to rub against my sunburn, making me wince each time. I hadn’t realized the sun was so strong, that the suntan lotion I put on this morning had worn off or wasn’t strong enough for the sun of the island. When we get back to the villa, I go in the bathroom and remove the offending cover up and realize that my entire back is as sunburned as my shoulders are. Putting as much of the lotion on as I can, I quickly realize that I’m going to need help seeing that I can’t reach my most of my back. I step out into the bedroom and glance at the bed, immediately reminded of the morning that we spent in it.
I was quite taken back by the pajama selection that was packed for me; at first wondering if it was Nicholas’s doing, hoping that something would happen between us. But then I remembered he had a personal shopper arrange for everything to be purchased for our trip. I picked the most tasteful nightie that was packed to wear for our first night. When I put it on, I was so unsure if I should wear it. In fact, I almost took it off and changed it for a T-shirt or something else. However, when I looked in the mirror, I changed my mind. Who knew that something as simple as a nightie could make you feel sexy? I felt sexy and confident; something I haven’t felt in a really long time. Suddenly, his voice was gone from my head. I no longer heard him telling me how fat I was, how ugly I was and unattractive I was.
The Arrangement Duet Box Set Page 46
