AM13 Outbreak Shorts: The Complete Collection [Books 1-4]

by Sands, Samie

  It’s over.

  Alex

  “Rachel?” Oh my god, what is she doing? What the hell has happened to her? “Rachel?”

  I try to lift her head up from the mud puddle that she is half lying in, but she’s such a state that she has become dead weight. When I didn’t see her for a few days, I assumed that was because she freaked out over our kiss and she didn’t want to know me anymore.

  I never expected to find her like this. All messed up and left alone

  “Are you on drugs again, Rachel? That was only supposed to be a one-time thing, don’t you remember? One moment of fun before we crashed back to reality and dealt with everything that is going on here...not that I think we can deal with it; it may well be a bit out of our league. But you weren’t supposed to go back and not alone either.”

  “I left him,” she murmurs shutting my thoughts off. “I left him to die.”

  “Who? Who did you leave to die?”

  “My father. He was bit and I did nothing to help him.”

  I don’t like what she’s saying. She can’t blame herself for something that she had absolutely no control over and couldn’t have fixed anyway, but I’m really glad she’s talking because it means she’s alive.

  “I left my mother in the house with him as well. She will be dead now because of me. I didn’t want to, but I did.”

  “You did nothing wrong, Rachel, now shall we try and get you up?”

  “I had friends here once, but I pushed them away just like I did you.” She is surprisingly lucid for someone so messed up which is kinda worrying in its own way. “I had a good thing with you, and I messed it up. I chose drugs instead.”

  My heart has been breaking without her anyway, but now it’s in a million pieces.

  “We can get things back,” I assure her. “We can be what we once were. You can get off the drugs and we can start again.”

  “I don’t think so because I know that this isn’t home anymore, and it never will be. Not with those people I charge. It can’t be, and this is the safest place that I have been in since this virus started, so if this can’t be home then nowhere is.”

  “We can find somewhere. Me and you. I will go anywhere to keep you safe, Rachel, to keep you happy.”

  “Don’t you get it, Alex? There is nowhere safe. There is nothing worth living for anymore.”

  I won’t listen to this, I can’t have her giving up on me, so I simply refuse to hear it. I use every scrap of energy that I have left and pull her to her feet. I am going to get her to sleep this off and get more sense out of her in the morning

  Me and Rachel share something, I just know it, and I am not going to give up on us. No way.

  Rhys

  I have happiness now, for the first time in a very long time. Being a soldier suits me, hanging out with my new friends feels awesome, having a purpose is exactly what I have been craving...yet, it feels very tainted.

  I can’t seem to stop myself from feeling guilty for enjoying myself. Mostly because I sense so much pain emanating within the camp. From Alex, sure, not that I see him much anymore, but from everyone else as well. It’s as if there is an underlying darkness in this place that either no one else can see, or everyone else is ignoring.

  Perhaps now that I was out of the cloud of depression, I could sense it that much more painfully. Only I don’t know what to do about it.

  “Morale is low, don’t you think?” I whisper to Hugh as we stand on duty together. “It feels like something is going to happen inside the camp, don’t you think?”

  He shrugs, seemingly not as bothered by this as I am. “Our duty is outside those walls, not inside.”

  “You’re right,” I admit. “But if things inside aren’t great, then what are we fighting for?”

  Hugh doesn’t answer me, and I’m pretty sure that’s because he doesn’t know what to say. When I started on this route of my life, it felt like a really positive step for me, but now I’m not so sure. Everything feels so fragile like anything could happen at any given moment to tear this all down. I have been in enough positions in the past to know that it happens when least expected, but this time it’s like I can feel it coming.

  But what can I do?

  I need to do something, that’s for sure, but what? I’m just one person. On my own, I don’t think I can.

  “Hugh, I think we need to act,” I tell him seriously, sure that with someone else on my side, this would be easier. “We should try and bring up morale or something. There must be something we can do. I know we’re soldiers, but we can have other obligations...”

  “Rhys, I just told you, we need to focus on the danger coming from the outside.” Hugh rolls his eyes at me, starting to look a little irritated, to be honest. “We’re in the middle of the apocalypse. What do you think is going to happen? That we will have a functioning society in here where people behave like they did before all of this happened? No way don’t be naïve. No one in here has any reason to get along, they only have things that they want to block out. Of course, negativity, alcoholism, drug use, anger, hatred, low morale is going to happen. There isn’t anything you can do about it.”

  But I don’t know if I want to just agree with that. I don’t think I want to give in so easily. There must be more to this life that this...mustn’t there?

  I can’t accept there isn’t.

  Emma

  Something isn’t right.

  In fact, something is very wrong.

  As I drift in and out of consciousness, I realize that I have been living a lie. I have been lying to myself. But I can’t lie anymore. Not when the truth is right there in front of me for everyone to see...not that there’s anyone to see me right now. No one but those who are in the same state.

  Dead.

  Undead.

  Infected.

  It doesn’t matter what I call it, it all leads to the same thing. I can’t remember how it happened, or even when, but I’m definitely a victim of the AM13 virus, which is why I have been able to smell it on me for a long time. It’s been creeping up on me for as long as I can remember.

  If only this was the sort of zombie virus typically seen in movies where people die and come back to life. At least then I would be able to create a timeline for this. But it doesn’t kill the person it catches onto. This virus simply changes people into something else.

  Something horrifying.

  And now that’s my life. That’s what I am slowly becoming. Things that didn’t make sense before now do. There have been times where I don’t know where I am, where I feel like I have lost a huge chunk of time. I’ve tried to put that down to hunger and exhaustion, but now I know it’s been me falling more and more into the abyss of nothingness waiting for me.

  I almost wish I would just tumble into it forever now. That has to be better than this.

  I also know that I’ve been eating things I shouldn’t. And I don’t just mean dead animals off the side of the road, although that sickens me enough. No, things I don’t even want to remember. I’ve been eating flesh along with the other infected, who haven’t paid me any attention for a good while now...in hindsight, that should have been my first sign.

  So, what do I do now? I can’t deny the truth to myself any longer which means I have to accept it. Accept that it didn’t matter how good I was in life, how I always followed the rules and did what I was told, karma made no difference in the end. In this world, it doesn’t matter who is good and bad. AM13 treats everyone exactly the same. Whoever you were once is irrelevant. It doesn’t even matter who you become. If this virus is coming for you, then it will take you regardless.

  While I learn to accept this dreadful truth, I will just have to wait. I don’t want to be in one place because that makes me uncomfortable these days. I will have to keep moving, but all the time I will be waiting.

  But waiting for what?

  Waiting until this virus takes me completely, I suppose, or someone has the mercy to kill me. Whichever one comes first...
>
  Rachael

  This mattress...I don’t recognize it. I don’t know where I am. There isn’t a damn thing in this room that I know. It definitely doesn’t belong to me.

  So, why doesn’t that scare me?

  I don’t remember the last time I felt fear. Or happiness. Anything, really. Somewhere along the line, I have become a numb bubble of nothingness, and I don’t think I can escape it. I don’t know if I can ever get back to who I used to be. That person is gone.

  Vanished, dissolved, never to return.

  Once upon a time, my biggest problem was getting Zac to notice me. Having moved to a new town, I just wanted the cute boy to kiss me, and that was the biggest thing I had to fear. The idea that he might not like me back drove me a little nuts, to be honest. Silly now, considering what’s happened since. What a pathetic issue.

  Now, it’s the end of the world, and I can’t get off this mattress.

  I don’t think my body would move even if I wanted it to, but I don’t. There isn’t anything worth getting off it for. Food, water, bathroom breaks...nothing will make me move. I even heard Alex’s voice a while back, begging for my attention, and that did nothing to me. He’s the best thing about the apocalypse, and even he isn’t enough.

  Nothing is.

  It’s the drugs that have done this to me, I know that. The drugs have claimed me and turned me into a shell of the person I used to be. I could handle all of this before them. I thought it might be fun to get high, to block everything out for a moment, to hang out in my safe space with Alex, but they destroyed the part of my brain that made me feel anything and now I’m just this. This mess. The empty, hollow, useless mess that isn’t any good to anyone.

  I never wanted to become a burden in this camp, that’s always been at the forefront of my mind. I decided early on to never be a person who everyone else has to carry because they don’t have anything to offer themselves. But that’s what I am now, isn’t it? I can’t deny it to myself any longer. There isn’t anything for me to stick around for anymore.

  It’s time to go, my brain screams at me in a desperate attempt to make me do anything. This mattress can’t protect you forever.

  I know that moving is the first step to taking any kind of action, but that’s my impossible task right now. That’s the one thing I can’t even begin to make happen no matter how hard I try.

  You have to. I stare at the door, knowing that’s my goal. This is essential.

  Maybe if I tackle what I have to do next one small step at a time, it won’t seem quite so overwhelming. Little movements in the right direction.

  Starting with moving my head just one inch off this mattress. Surely, I can do that?

  Here goes nothing...

  Ryan

  I didn’t mean to...

  You made me do it...

  It was supposed to go another way...

  I wasn’t going to resort to anything drastic. Fate doesn’t usually need something dramatic to occur to be realized, but I suppose this isn’t a normal situation. With the world at an end, sometimes fate needs a little helping hand. And that’s exactly what I have given it.

  “This might not be what I planned,” I whisper to myself as I squeeze my fists together, the knuckles on my left hand aching. “But it will be fine, this will all work out in the end.”

  There are going to be consequences at first. Things don’t take a wild turn without there being some sort of emotional outbreak, but I need to remember the bigger picture. There is always a bigger picture out there, just waiting to be realized.

  “At least she’s safe,” I remind myself. “That’s the main thing now.”

  I keep my head down and wander through the camp, trying my best not to make eye contact with anyone. I’m sure that the moment I open my mouth, everyone will be able to tell I’m different, something has changed, then it’ll send people on a witch hunt.

  I’m already an outcast here. I don’t want to make that worse. I’ve been hated for as long as I can remember. Probably since the day I was rescued which is ridiculous. People can’t just assume that this is the only life we have. We can’t ignore the life that happened beforehand. Just because it’s a long distant memory now, doesn’t mean it didn’t happen.

  Katie wanted me, long before Oliver, and she still does. He just won’t let her go, that’s all. Well, he’s going to have to now, isn’t he? I’ve left him with no choice. He isn’t getting Katie back again and she will finally realize that she’s mine.

  “She is mine,” I growl. “And she always has been.”

  I’m sure she’s resentful because I didn’t recognize it before, I always had someone else on my arm, but has she never seen a rom-com? The guy never realizes right away. He always has to date the wrong woman, or women in my case, before seeing that who he wanted all along was under his nose the entire time...

  Well, here I am, noticing at last, and I refuse to be ignored. Things might have to fall apart for better things to come together. I’m sure that’s always the way.

  “Me and you, Katie...me and you are meant to be. You’ll see.”

  Thankfully, I make it back to my place without being disturbed so I can use the time to revel in my plan coming to fruition. Once I slam the door behind myself, the laugh bursts free from me. I might sound a little maniacal to an outsider, but that’s because no one else knows what I’ve done and how long I’ve waited to be here.

  No one else gets it, but they don’t need to. After all, this is about me.

  Me and her.

  Benji

  “I’m tripping, I have to be tripping.” My fingers knot up in my hair and I tug hard, trying to drag my senses back to life. “This can’t be happening. It just can’t.”

  I pace around the shadow hanging around at my feet trying to work out what even happened. It’s all such a blur. I definitely took too many pills this time around, that high was...well, it was something else and not in a good was. I was completely off my face, I didn’t know what I was doing, and now...

  “God.”

  I grab onto my knees and let the pathetic stream of vomit dribble passed my lips. I’m too weak for this, I can’t handle it, I want to run. I need to run.

  This is my fault.

  “No”. I stagger backward, arguing with my brain. “No, this isn’t...”

  This is my fault.

  My head falls into my hands, despair overcomes me, a sensation which is probably well deserved. Why wouldn’t it be? Since this is all my fault...

  A loud shriek shakes me from my shock. I haven’t run, I’m frozen to the spot, at the scene of the crime and now I’m about to be discovered.

  Discovered with a dead girl.

  “What the hell happened?” A woman yanks me back, taking me away from the body but not from my guilt. That isn’t going anywhere. “This poor girl, what happened? Who is she?”

  I could answer if I could speak. I don’t know much about this person, but her identity is something I could confirm...but my jaw is locked tight.

  “She’s foaming at the mouth. What happened?” The woman looks to me for answers but all I can give her was a one-shouldered shrug. “This looks like some sort of overdose or something. Had she taken something? Do you know? Were you with her?”

  “I...I...” I rasp, so desperate to say something, anything. Even knowing that I might end up blamed for killing her doesn’t get my words out. And why should it? After all, this is all my fault.

  My drugs weren’t supposed to cause this, it was all for a good time, all for a way out of our personal hell. This new world, this so-called sanctuary, drove us all to find a way out.

  And now it’s driving this poor girl to her death.

  No, not this place. Me. I gave her drugs. I drove her to death.

  “Was she bit? Hey, idiot!” Oh God, she’s screaming now. “We need to know if she’s a threat.”

  We haven’t had that inside these walls for so long that people have forgotten what a virus victim looks like. If s
he had any memory at all, she’d know this isn’t the AM13 virus. This is something else entirely.

  “Pardon?” She slides closer to me, making me realize my lips are moving. I’m saying something without even noticing. “What did you say? What do you know?”

  “R...Rachael,” I finally manage to erupt. “Her name is Rachael.”

  Rachael...that’s the name of the person I killed.

  That’s a name which will always stay with me.

  Alex

  “No, she wouldn’t do this.” I shake my head, refusing to accept this. Even if it’s all written out in front of me, I can’t believe it. “This isn’t right. Someone else did this...”

  Tears roll down my cheeks because, to be honest, it doesn’t make any difference, does it? I shouldn’t be arguing over what happened to Rachael because it won’t bring her back, however much I want it to. I still failed her; she’s still gone.

  But a suicide note means she did this on purpose, she wanted to leave me, it wasn’t Benji’s fault. Not directly anyway. He will go free and be allowed to destroy other lives like he did Rachel’s. Like he did mine as well because clearly, I wasn’t enough for her.

  I read her words again, needing to destroy myself just that little bit more.

  Dear Alex,

  I’m sorry. I know that this is selfish, I know I shouldn’t do this to you, but I can’t help it. Don’t blame yourself because you were the only shining star in my otherwise miserable existence. If anything were different then me and you could have been something special, but I am already wrecked. I’m too damaged, there isn’t coming back from this.

  It all started when my parents died. I’ve been thinking about that a lot recently, about how I just left them instead of dying with them like I should have done.