Trusting Her Heart

by Tara Randel

  “How long has it been since you’ve volunteered during Oktoberfest?”

  “Before I left to join the military.”

  “So you don’t actually know how the crowd will behave.”

  “True.” He sent her a sly grin, making her heart flip in her chest. She was walking a tightrope with Logan, an off-kilter sensation that didn’t bode well for her purposeful plans. If she allowed herself to get too deep in her growing affection for him, she might fall off the tightrope and shatter her carefully constructed world.

  “But I can guarantee,” he continued, “that the Tremaines won’t let the crowds get rowdy. All for the good of Golden.”

  The crowds might be manageable, but what about her feelings for Logan?

  “Right. Look, Logan—”

  His phone rang. He pulled it from his pocket and glanced at the screen. “I have to take this.”

  Slowly easing out a long breath, Serena welcomed the interruption since she had no idea what she’d planned to say, but had a sneaking suspicion it would have been to ask him to spend some time with her. “I need to get home, anyway. See you tonight.”

  His crooked grin warmed her from the inside out. “Definitely.”

  Shaking off her heated reaction to Logan, Serena jogged around the building then up the stairs to her apartment. As she entered, breathing in a whiff of freshly brewed coffee, she spied Carrie at the table, hunched over her computer.

  “And you wonder why your back hurts,” Serena teased as she opened the refrigerator for a cold water bottle.

  “Huh?” Carrie looked up and blinked. “Oh, right, I know, but when I get involved in a project, I lose track of time and correct posture.”

  “What are you working on?” Serena asked as she joined her friend.

  “An old client of mine needed a rebranding campaign, so I signed on to work freelance with her company.”

  “Are you ever going to tell me what happened at your old job?”

  Carrie peered at her closely. “What makes you think I don’t have a job?”

  “The fact that you’re camped out here in Golden, which is a far cry from the big city you claim to love. Also, you’ve been spending a lot of hours in the store, which leads me to believe you don’t have any work on your schedule.”

  With a sigh, Carrie leaned back in the chair. “I had hoped to fix things before coming clean with you, but it didn’t work out.”

  Serena pulled out a chair and sat down. “Fix what things?”

  Carrie closed the laptop. “Remember six months ago when I told you about the big client the agency had landed?”

  “Sure. You were excited because you were named account executive on the project.”

  “Which went great for about five minutes.”

  “What happened?”

  “The client was difficult from the get-go. Critical of every idea I presented. Made noises that they could do a better job in-house than I was doing. I was a nervous wreck for weeks, hardly slept trying to prove to the client, and my bosses, that I could get the job done.”

  “You did look pretty worn out when you showed up here.”

  Carrie picked up the mug at her elbow and took a sip before continuing. “Long story short, the clients accused me of trying to sabotage their brand with my terrible ideas. Even though the higher-ups at the agency knew I was eating and sleeping this account, they were not happy when the client eventually walked away. They had to blame someone.”

  “And it was you?”

  “Yep. I was on pins and needles for about two weeks after the client pulled out, waiting for the bottom to drop. They finally fired me. The clients had made sure to let any other company in the area who would listen to them know that I had messed up. Even with a detailed résumé, I couldn’t land a new job.”

  Serena placed a hand over Carrie’s. “I’m so sorry.”

  “I was embarrassed. Decided getting away might help me get over the debacle, so I came here.”

  “And you can stay as long as you like.”

  Carrie’s expression remained unconvinced.

  “Look, I know I apologized for lashing out at you, but there is no one on the face of this earth I’d rather have doing my marketing than you. You’re good at what you do, no matter that those clients couldn’t see it.”

  Resting her elbows on the table, Carrie dropped her chin into her palms. “I check job listings every day. Send out my résumé. Hear nothing.” She glanced at Serena with such dejection that Serena nearly cried for her friend. “Am I washed up at twenty-eight?”

  “Hardly. This is a temporary bump in the road.”

  “If you say so.”

  “Hey, you’ve gotten work from an old client who thinks you can help them. It can’t be all bad.”

  “True. I’m not taking this job for granted, but, Serena, I’m worried.”

  Join the club, Serena wanted to say, but couldn’t. Again, the guilt of not being truthful to her good friend assailed her. Carrie had confided her worst worries, yet Serena had never told Carrie the entire scope of her past. The feeling, that the truth was going to come back to bite her any day now, simmered just below the surface. If she was smart she’d try to do damage control now, but old habits of keeping secrets buried deep inside kept her from spilling it all to her friend. What was wrong with her?

  Instead of divulging her past to Carrie, Serena said, “You know, the chamber of commerce could use your expertise. The Tremaines are trying to make Golden a premier tourist destination, but sometimes I think they have too many ideas that end up overwhelming vacationers. I could talk to Lissy Ann. See if they could use your marketing skills.”

  “I don’t imagine it would come with much of a salary.”

  “Probably no salary.”

  Carrie groaned and buried her face in her hands.

  “But you’re welcome to stay here for however long you need to and you can have hours at the store.”

  “Thanks,” she replied, the word muffled by her hands.

  “Maybe you could let the local businesses in on your services. I could put in a good word and you might drum up accounts that way.”

  Carrie lifted her head. “I had hoped to get a job before it came to this, but you’re right. I can leave my information all over town and see what happens.”

  Rising, Serena pushed the chair in and squeezed her friend’s shoulder. “Think positive.”

  “You do know who you’re talking to, don’t you?”

  “My dear friend who is great at marketing even if she is hard on herself. And now I have to get ready for work.”

  Carrie lifted the laptop lid and gazed at the screen. “That makes two of us.”

  As Serena changed and then jumped in the shower, her pep talk rang through her head. Shouldn’t she take her own advice? She had to trust someone and it made sense to start with Carrie since she’d known her for so long. Or even Heidi, at this point. Hopefully they wouldn’t be ticked that she hadn’t revealed her past before now, but honestly, could she blame them if they were?

  And Logan. He’d looked so handsome when they’d run into each other on the sidewalk. There was no denying he stirred up feelings in her that she’d never allowed before. He was a good man. A man who valued the truth. If she started a relationship with him and he learned the extent of her past and how she’d hidden it, would she ruin their chance at a relationship before it even started?

  Was it possible she felt more trapped than ever before?

  The warm water rained down and she lingered in the shower, her head pounding. She shut off the stream and wrapped herself in a fluffy towel, turning her attention to what to wear today. As distractions went, it wasn’t great in terms of keeping her thoughts off the disaster that would transpire if she did something stupid, like fall in love with Logan.

  * * *

  IF
THE BIG crowd was any indication, opening night of Oktoberfest was a success. From his location under the stone archway at the park entrance, Logan kept a steady eye on the revelers. On the other side of the park, Jamey played sentinel at his post. Streams of people queued up for food and beverages or broke into dance as the band played a lively polka number. The savory scent of bratwurst had his stomach growling but he ignored it, keeping his attention on the job at hand.

  Nearby, his grandmother manned a table selling meal tickets, chatting up tourists and encouraging them to visit local shops while in town. From his vantage point he could see into the food tent, and he caught glimpses of Serena as she served heaping plates of food to the happy tourists. He could make out her flushed face under the lights and decided she’d never looked lovelier.

  He’d placed the Stanhope job on the back burner this past week while he dealt with bigger issues at his office. Spending some time outside of Golden had let him put his feelings for Serena into perspective. He still needed more background information on both Stanhopes, but found himself oddly reluctant to uncover Serena’s life. If she had a hidden past like he and Deke suspected, did he want to know what it was? He prided himself on always getting to the truth of the matter, but somewhere along the way his heart had engaged and he wanted to look the other way. Impossible, but he couldn’t deny that he’d considered it. In the end, the truth, no matter where it took them, was the ultimate goal. If he didn’t find out what she was all about, questions would remain between them and he realized he wanted a relationship free and clear from any entanglements that would cause them pain down the line.

  He shook his head. Relationship? When had he begun to think of them in those terms?

  “Logan. Can you please come over here?”

  His grandmother’s voice snapped him into the present. “What is it?”

  She indicated a bank bag by her elbow. “Could you make a quick run to hand this off to Carter Tremaine? I’m not comfortable sitting here with all this cash.”

  “On it.” Bag in hand, he made his way through the crowd to find his old schoolmate barking out instructions to the local high-school band, who would take the stage after the next break. Logan pulled him aside.

  “My grandmother would like you to empty this.”

  Carter felt the heft of the bag and a smile split his face. “This is only from two hours in?”

  Logan nodded.

  “Wait right here.”

  Carter took off, to place the money somewhere safe, Logan hoped, and returned a few minutes later. “Tell your grandmother thanks for working tonight.”

  “And miss all the action? She wouldn’t be anywhere else.”

  “How about you. Need anything?”

  Logan almost looked around to see if Carter was speaking to someone else. He wasn’t used to his old classmate being concerned about anyone but Carter.

  “I’m good. Thanks for asking.”

  He handed Logan the empty bag. “Don’t forget, volunteers can eat once the crowds head home.”

  “Your wife informed me.”

  Carter looked away at the mention of his wife.

  Okay...

  “I’m heading back to my post,” Logan said, but Carter had already moved on to the next volunteer needing his attention. Logan walked across the park, taking an unplanned detour to poke his head into the food tent. Serena walked by, loaded down with a tray full of dishes, her cheeks red from the heat pouring out from under the canvas. It had to be a good ten degrees hotter in the tent.

  “Having fun?” he yelled over the din.

  Her gaze caught his and a smile blossomed as she deposited the plates. She lowered the now empty tray and sidled up to him.

  “I wish someone had warned me it would be this busy.”

  “The first night always draws the biggest crowd.”

  She scanned the packed dining area. “It’s like no one has ever eaten before.”

  Logan chuckled.

  “How is security going?”

  “So far so good. No citizen’s arrests.”

  A shout came from the kitchen area.

  “I need to run. More hungry mouths to feed.”

  She took off before he could ask her to meet him when they finished up for the night. Disappointed, he made his way back to the entrance. Since only a few stragglers came into the park now, he stood beside the table after handing the bag back to his grandmother.

  “Quite a night,” she said.

  “If you mean a good start to the festival, then yes.”

  “You don’t seem very excited.”

  He sent her a raised eyebrow. “I never liked all the hoopla, even when I was a kid and we sneaked in for sample cups of beer.”

  Grandmother looked surprised. “Why didn’t I know about this?”

  “Because we never got caught. And because we never got caught there was no excitement, so we didn’t bother again.”

  “Goodness. I should have known. You always were adventurous.” Her eagle gaze swept over the crowd. “The high-school band is playing tonight. Please make sure none of the underage performers swipe any samples.”

  He pulled out the empty chair beside her and sat down. “I will do my sworn duty.”

  “Sworn duty?”

  “Lissy Ann swore me in as part of the official Oktoberfest security staff and made me promise to keep things under control.”

  “I bet the police chief won’t be happy to hear he has additional staff he didn’t hire.”

  “I’m sure he’ll appreciate the help.”

  They sat together for a long moment, watching the people enjoying the crisp October night. A little over a week into the month and fall had finally shown up. Logan could taste the change in the air, was happy to wear a jacket early in the morning. It was almost like he could breathe after living with the muggy temperatures of summer for so long.

  The town had decorated accordingly, with haystacks, pumpkins and even spooky bats and skeletons in advance of Halloween. It reminded him of all the good years before he’d discovered the truth behind his father’s actions.

  “I always loved Golden this time of year,” he said.

  Grandmother turned in her chair to look at him. “You could love it again, you know.”

  “I don’t see that happening.”

  “Really? And what about Serena? Could she make you love living here again?”

  He sent a sideways glance to his crafty grandmother. “Not very subtle.”

  “I’m beyond subtle. I adore Serena. I see you two falling in love.”

  If only she knew he was halfway there.

  “Don’t push it.”

  She leaned in. “So there’s a chance?”

  “I’m not really sure where we stand.”

  “I am.” Grandmother looked across the park. “I saw you watching her in the food tent tonight.”

  “You make it sound creepy.”

  She chuckled. “No, more like a lovesick puppy.”

  “Not much of a compliment. And if you say anything to Reid, I’ll deny it.”

  “Would it be so bad? Falling in love?”

  Would it? He’d never been there, so he couldn’t say for sure. “You know I have trust issues, Grandmother.”

  She waved her hand through the air. “Please. Just because your father made an error in judgment doesn’t mean every marriage is doomed. I was afraid when you went into your line of work you’d become jaded.”

  “C’mon. You know I’ve never wanted to walk in Dad’s footsteps.”

  “There are other men of character in our family line to emulate. Why, your grandfather was the finest man I knew. I loved him from the first moment I laid eyes on him and I still do to this day.”

  “I know Grandfather was a good man. So is Reid. But I can’t help wondering...”


  “Because you and your father are so alike?”

  He ran a hand down his face. “I can’t believe I’m agreeing with you, but yes.”

  “Then you look at his mistakes and make sure you never repeat them.”

  Was it that easy? And why did he doubt himself? He’d swore never to be like Arthur Masterson. Wasn’t that enough?

  “Logan, look at me,” his grandmother demanded. He turned, not missing the sheen in her eyes under the bright lantern lights. “Love is worth experiencing. Until you discovered your birth certificate, you never doubted your parents’ love. Or mine.”

  “I never question your love, Grandmother.”

  Her lips curved down. “Bonnie and your father do love you.”

  “Your point?”

  “You can’t deny your heart forever, Logan. There is a woman out there who is waiting for your love. And you for hers.”

  “And you’re along to, what, accelerate the process?”

  “I may tease about wanting you to marry before I die...” She paused. Frowned. “Okay, I mean it, but have I ever really pushed one particular woman on you? No. I’ve moved you in the general direction. Until now. Until Serena.”

  “Why are you convinced she’s the one?”

  “Why are you convinced she isn’t?”

  If his grandmother had posed this question a few weeks ago, he’d have had solid answers. Now he wasn’t so sure. The line had grown fuzzy and he wanted to be with Serena, secrets and all, but he still had cold feet.

  “How about I promise not to close the door on the possibility of love.”

  “You know, for all your bravado, you sure hesitate putting your heart on the line.” She took his hand in hers, the touch of her soft, wrinkled skin comforting his uneasy mind. “Give love a chance, Logan. I promise it’s worth the effort.”

  Uncomfortable by how much he wanted to believe her, he untangled his hand from hers. “Enough talk about relationships. I’m falling down on the job.” An amusing thought occurred to him. “Maybe Lissy Ann will fire me.”

  “Our Lissy Ann? Oh, heavens, no. She’s too softhearted for that.”

  He recalled the dynamo handing out detailed orders at the volunteers’ meeting. “Are you sure?”