Modern Flirtations: A Novel

by Catherine Sinclair

  CHAPTER XXXIX.

  Captain De Crespigny had heard, with frantic alarm, of the fearfuldanger from which Marion was so wonderfully delivered; and then, forthe first time, he discovered the whole depth and reality of his love.The gracefulness of every thought which she expressed, and the brightbeauty of that look with which it was accompanied, had made anindelible impression on his heart, so that now, when he saw her sounexpectedly snatched from the jaws of death, no words could do justiceto his emotion. He hurried that very evening to ascertain the realityof her escape, and to say what he could on the occasion; while thetremulousness of his voice, and the quivering of his lip, gave a degreeof depth and reality to his few incoherent sentences, which all hiswell-turned speeches in former times had failed to convey. Marionthanked him warmly for his friendly sympathy, and spoke to him with allthe intimacy of relationship and old acquaintance; but when she turnedto Mr. Granville, Captain De Crespigny then observed the flutter of hervoice, the deep tone of tenderness, and the look full of confidence andfull of interest, with which she spoke to him, and to him only; whilethere was a degree of tact and delicacy in her manner of testifying thewide disparity of her feelings, which left him nothing of which tocomplain. Careless of the dry and sarcastic air with which Agneswatched his mortification, Captain De Crespigny did not even take thetrouble to conceal it; but soon after strode out of the room, andwalked with hurried and agitated steps up and down in the garden,whistling, but not from want of thought. When thus alone andunobserved, a thousand angry and indignant feelings made him writhewith mental suffering, to think that he, who had been so deeply, sofatally loved by others, who had never sued in vain, and never trulyhad loved before, should endure now the agonies of unrequitedaffection, should be slighted, avoided, and forgotten, for a man hehated, as he had always hated Richard Granville.

  "He cannot love her as I do!" thought Captain De Crespigny, vehementlyclenching his hands, and throwing himself on a seat. "What does he knowof that magical feeling! a passionless being from boyhood, master ofall his own feelings and impulses, incapable of the wild, ungovernableardor, which carries me forward, in the face of all obstacles, to winher! He has indeed acted manfully on this occasion, but shall theaccident of his success destroy my hopes of happiness! No! it mustnot,--shall not be! Dunbar will never consent to their marriage, and hemust prevent his sister from thus throwing herself away. She shall yetbe mine! The only girl who was ever insensible to my preference! Icannot live without her, and if there be means in the wide world tothwart Richard Granville, I must find them!"

  Sir Patrick received next day, with gratified surprise, the explicitdeclaration of his friend's unbounded, and, at length, undisguised,attachment for Marion, which he had already, in some degree, suspected,though so much accustomed to Captain De Crespigny's being in jest, thathe could scarcely believe now that he was in earnest, while listeningto the vehement expressions of his attachment, and promising,nevertheless, to enlist himself in the cause, with all the zeal and allthe interest he could command.

  "As her guardian, I have a perfect right to postpone this most absurdengagement, and Sir Arthur deserves to be _spiflicated_, for everhaving encouraged such a mere penny-wedding affair for that girl, whodoes not know her own value. Agnes tells me my uncle has allowed themto correspond; but this he had no right to do without my consent, andtherefore I shall take most effectual means to intercept every letter,either to or from her, till she is of age, after which my reign ends,though, I hope, long before that, yours shall have begun."

  Sir Patrick took an early opportunity of expressing to Marion, in nomeasured terms, his utter abhorrence of poor marriages in general, ofpoor curates especially, and of Richard Granville in particular; whileshe, with downcast eyes, blushed, and re-blushed, deeper, and deeperstill; though, unwilling to irritate him more than could be helped, shelistened in silence, till at length, encouraged by meeting with noreply, he added, in a tone of high exhilaration--

  "But we need not talk of that now! The thing does not bear speaking of!You shall hear news to-day that must positively drive all this nonsenseout of your head. The best 'catch' in Britain has actually lost hisheart to a tolerably pretty, and not very disagreeable young lady, byname Marion Dunbar! A better fellow does not exist on earth than DeCrespigny; and he will render you the happiest of women. I never sawany man so anxious to make himself liked by any girl as he is!"

  Marion felt now that she must no longer be silent, and blushing herbrightest red she replied, in a low, deep, earnest voice, "Hear me,dear Patrick, and I shall not annoy you by saying one word in favor ofmy indissoluble engagement, that being a subject on which, I fear, weshall never agree; but without reference to a previous attachment, hadit not even existed, my feelings towards Captain De Crespigny wouldhave been the same. I never could confide my affection and happiness toone who has found his amusement hitherto in betraying all who trustedhim, and who feeds his vanity by causing misery to those who are asdeserving as myself. It would have been more merciful to destroy life,than to destroy the happiness of life, as he has done, for many, andfor our own sister, I fear, among the number."

  "Pshaw, Marion! Do not stand in your own light like a thief in thecandle!" exclaimed Sir Patrick, impatiently. "De Crespigny is worth ahundred thousand Richard Granvilles!"

  "One is all I care for!" replied Marion, timidly. "But, Patrick, as youhave begun the comparison, let me say, that to have once known Mr.Granville is a talisman against every other attachment. There is nopleasure in life worth a thought, without mutual confidence, such as, Itrust, we have established between us for ever, and such as I nevercould have felt with Captain De Crespigny. My taste has been tuned to ahigher pitch than to be satisfied with such a transient and capriciousattachment as he could ever offer to any one--mere tinsel and filigree,compared to the strong and lasting sentiment on which I may now rely."

  "Marion! there is not a man living who deserves a more grateful returnfor his preference than De Crespigny; and I still hope the time maycome when you shall see his value, and more than return his attachment,or it will inflict a very great disappointment, which I should beannoyed beyond measure to occasion him!"

  "Patrick! how could your friend, with his heart splintered into atoms,ever presume to expect a whole one in return? He often reminds me ofthat German lady, whose picture is drawn encouraging three lovers atonce. She is giving her hand to the first, stealing a glance at thesecond, and treading on the toe of the third, while each believeshimself the favorite. Captain De Crespigny will take thedisappointment, if it be one, to the next ball, and dance it off in asingle quadrille. His love is like wax, ready for all impressions, andhe has weathered so many flirtations already, that you need never beuneasy about him now. I venture to say what I think, Patrick, toconvince you how vain all future importunity on the subject would be;and I cannot but observe, that if there be any blame on this occasion,it is yours, for obliging me so often, most unwillingly, to meetCaptain De Crespigny. Let us hope, however, that you have been misledinto over-estimating his intentions and feelings. Caroline Smythesometimes takes off your friend to the very life; and I wish you couldsee how cleverly she carries on a furious flirtation with two ladies atonce. There really seemed danger, one day, that uncle Arthur would die,like the famous Mr. Hope, of suppressed laughter! I wish all ladiescould view the case in as ridiculous a light as Caroline does; butPatrick, it is very different in respect to Agnes. Her whole thoughtsare embittered by Captain De Crespigny's unpardonable coquetry--herwhole feelings lacerated; and I fear she may, in a paroxysm of angrydisappointment, consign herself to long years of misery--I may evensay, of degradation. You know all I mean, Patrick, and you ought, ifpossible, to soothe her, to advise and persuade her into a better lineof conduct. As for myself, Patrick,--lastly, and to conclude," addedMarion, a wandering blush resting its warm tint again on her cheek, "Ican say, like Cardinal Wolsey, but with more satisfaction, 'Farewell toall my greatness!' Richard is not affluent--probably he never may beso; but I am no spendth
rift. I would rather have love than money; andwhatever befall us, it is happiness enough for the rest of my life toknow that he thinks me deserving of his attachment. We love, and weunderstand each other perfectly."

  Marion rushed through what she had to say with agitated rapidity, andon reaching the conclusion she bent down her head, and leaned it on herfolded arms, while Sir Patrick hastily left the room, uttering a fewemphatic exclamations, which were lost in the thundering report withwhich he closed the drawing-room door, till it quivered upon thehinges.

  "Very absurd and unaccountable!" exclaimed Sir Patrick, interruptinghimself next day, during a paroxysm of angry whistling, which he hadcarried on for some time, standing with his back to the fire, in thatattitude peculiar to Englishmen, and in which he was said to be theonly man who ever looked graceful. "Most extraordinary."

  "What?" asked Agnes, with a start of eager curiosity. "What is therewhich astonishes you so much?"

  "That I am the only one of our family who cannot endure to eat roastmutton!" replied he, evidently resolved to balk her inquisitiveness."This is a teazing and tormenting world, Agnes, where we cannot ordereverything as we like."

  "But what has ruffled the surface of your humor to-day, Pat?" askedAgnes, indifferently. "You seldom treat me to a stage soliloquy!"

  "Then, if you must have it, all I can say is this! Here are my two bestfriends on earth, Wigton and De Crespigny, with a thousand mental,personal, titled, and landed recommendations, each making his proposal,and I cannot give either of them the slightest hopes!"

  "Patrick, you must be mad! If they wait long enough, I may perhapsmarry both, but at all events I have no intention to refuse either!"replied Agnes, in her most conceited tone. "Are you in jest or inearnest?"

  "Why, both! That strange girl, Marion, has given them each a good,round, decided negative. I did not think she had it in her nature to beso positive."

  "Impossible!" exclaimed Agnes, with angry vehemence, while her eyesseemed literally striking fire. "This is some ill-natured jest ofyours; but Marion understands Captain De Crespigny too well to fallinto any such absurd mistake. She knows he is secretly attached to me,though, indeed, that has been no secret for ages past, and Marion neverhinted to me that he had an idea of proposing to her."

  "No! Marion is exactly the sort of person never to mention what mighthurt the feelings of another, especially as you would probably not havebelieved her; but I had yesterday a point-blank, _bona fide_, serious,and even solemn proposal to make her from De Crespigny, which I had todecline with all the usual regret, surprise, gratitude, offers offriendship, and so forth. It is a great inconvenience, Agnes, that bothyour strings should break in this way at once; but Marion is a perfectloadstone for attracting the attentions, the hearts, and the goodopinions of all mankind. I have seen both these affairs coming on forsome time, and it is really awkward and irritating to be placed in sucha predicament with all my friends," continued Sir Patrick, in the toneof an ill-used man, thinking only of his own grievances, while Agnes,feeling herself extinguished at a blow, gazed in his face with a lookof pallid amazement. "If Granville could only be sunk to the bottom ofthe sea," added Sir Patrick, impatiently, "I would not beckon with myfinger to bring him up again!"

  When a separation is inevitable, those who depart have generally theadvantage, in seeing a variety of interesting novelties, to force theirattention, and occupy it; but while the thoughts of Mr. Granvillereverted continually to Harrowgate, Marion's became now more than everengrossed with Sir Arthur, whose nerves had been greatly shattered byhis recent adventure, and who ardently longed, as soon as his healthwas in any degree re-established, to be again in the quiet sanctuary ofhis own home.

  Amidst scenes where she was hourly reminded of the happy past, Mariondelivered herself up to the pleasing consciousness of Richard'sunalterable attachment. Though circumstances had now separated, andmight keep them apart for months, she felt a steady assurance thattheir mutual attachment could never be shaken by either time ordistance. In the solitude of her own heart, Marion hoarded up manycherished remembrances of what he had said, and how he had said it,while the most transient of Mr. Granville's remarks seemed indeliblyimprinted on her recollection. She read the books he liked, practisedthe music he admired, traced out all his favorite walks, and lived withhim as the continual companion of her thoughts.

  Marion's was an unclouded sunshine of hope, as she confided so entirelyin her absent lover, that she would quite as soon have distrusted herown heart as his; yet day after day, and week after week passed on,without a line ever reaching her from either Clara or Richard, andlittle did she dream, while suffering from the melancholy monotony oftheir long-continued silence, that letter after letter, written fromheart to heart, with ardent affection and entire confidence, had beenconsigned to a premature end by the order and contrivance of SirPatrick; but nevertheless, with all the ardor of a young and sanguinemind, she daily expected a satisfactory explanation, and still lookedback upon the past with unembittered feelings.

  Marion's was not a weak, wavering, suspicious, or fanciful nature, buthigh and generous in all things, she had not lightly confided herhappiness to one on whom she could not implicitly rely. She knew hisattachment to be one of principle as well as of inclination, and thoughuneasy lest Mr. Granville might be ill, she entertained no jealousapprehension that he had become changed, but perseveringly trusted,believed, and hoped the best. Many a time had Marion's heart throbbed,and her color risen with a tumult of hope, as she watched the return ofMartin from the post-office, and the flutter of expectation faded sadlyaway in mournful disappointment, when she found that another day andnight, at the very least, must be added to her long and wearydisappointment; for no "hope deferr'd" makes the heart more sick, thanvainly watching for a letter, in which the happiness of a life-time isinvolved.

  "Out of sight out of mind!" said Agnes, sarcastically, one day, whenshe observed the look of surprise and anxiety with which Marion wasleaving the room, alter seeing hoards of letters brought into the roomfrom every quarter but the right one. "Marion! as Shakspeare says, 'Noword from Goodman Dull yet?' That is just like men in general!"

  "It may be like men in general, Agnes, but it is not like Richard,"replied Marion, coloring and smiling. "On him I have the mostconsummate reliance. We can both depend on our perfect knowledge ofeach other, and I shall not break the long chain of our mutual faith bya single doubt. I have given him my confidence, and that was all I hadto bestow."

  "Well! as some sensible poet remarks, and I quite agree with him," saidAgnes, with a peevish, discontented sigh--

  "The maid that loves, Goes out to sea upon a shattered plank, And puts her trust in miracles for safety."

  "No, Agnes! Those who have loved lightly may change as lightly, but Ishould little deserve the inestimable happiness of having known Mr.Granville so entirely, did I not always believe him above the suspicionof caprice. We have read each other's mind and heart, we have beenwilling to trust each other in life and till death; therefore now,unless Richard were to tell me with his own lips that he had changed, Iwould not believe it,--and scarcely even then! This alone is affectionthat deserves the name, not to torment him with distrust, nor to takeup the first cause of offence, but with unenquiring confidence to judgehim as I would myself be judged. It would add a pang to the sorrow ofseparation if we believed ourselves at the mercy of every idlesuspicion; but I know his heart to be as incapable of deceit ordishonor as my own."

  In the mean time, Mr. Granville had continued to write from abroad withunceasing assiduity, believing that some unexpected obstacle must haveoccurred to prevent Marion from answering his letters, but neversuspecting that she did not receive one of the many he had written. Inhis candid and elevated mind, there was no room for jealousy orsuspicion, and conscious that the transparent nature of Marion's natureadmitted of no concealments, he rejected every angry or impatientthought. The more he saw of other society, the more dear she became tohis memory now, while his
attachment was of that deep and lasting kindover which the accidents of life have no influence.

  "Miss Dunbar," said Captain De Crespigny, one evening, placing himselfon a sofa beside Marion, while Sir Patrick, to whom he had beenspeaking very earnestly some minutes before, anxiously watched hercountenance from a distance: "I wish you were now seated in one ofMerlin's chairs, from which no one can rise till a story be finished. Ihave something to say, so important to myself, and let me hope also toyou, that I expect to be heard to the end."

  "Of course, if you wish it," replied Marion, in a faltering, agitatedvoice. "But, Captain De Crespigny, allow me to remark how unlikely itis that any subject can very deeply interest us both. I trust and hopewe fully understand each other."

  "It is time, indeed, that we should," replied he with emotion.

  "And if I dare say all I wish, it would still be less than I feel.Dunbar assures me you are still at liberty to consult only your owninclinations, and let me hope I am not entirely the dupe of my ownvanity, in believing that I might yet conquer your indifference. Sincethe hour when we first met, I had eyes for no one but yourself. Evenwhen we could not converse I have watched you with ceaseless interest,and am forever thinking of you in absence, counting the hours of myexistence only by those passed in your society. Why, then, do you soobviously avoid me? Why am I for ever made the companion of Miss Smytheor Miss Anybody-else? You know and see that my whole object in life is,to remain beside yourself. Every look, word, and action tells you asplainly as language can speak, that I love you to distraction, that myattachment has not been hastily formed, to be as hastily laid aside,and now my only apprehension is, that by too openly disclosing myfeelings the confession may separate us for ever, yet it can no longerbe delayed, for I must know at once now, whether I am to be happy ormiserable for life?"

  "Patrick has done very wrong," faltered Marion, while tears sprang intoher eyes, "I told him long ago to let you know all. It is mostunfortunate that your preference should be given to one of the very fewwho never can return it. You ask for a heart which is not mine to give.My engagement to Mr. Granville cannot be soon fulfilled, but while weboth live, we shall live only for each other."

  "That, Dunbar assures me, can never take place," replied Captain DeCrespigny, while a dark red flush passed over his countenance; "andtill it does, I cannot cease to hope. Nothing is more annoying, I know,than the perseverance of an unrequited attachment, but I must cling tothe faint and haggard hope which remains. A mere taper is extinguishedby being blown upon, but a fire burns only the brighter. The greatestfelicity of life would not be good enough for you, nor so much as Iwish you, provided only we share it together; but with another, Icannot wish you happiness. No! the words would choke me. May you neverfind any till you find it with me. If you can ever feel one relentingthought in my favor,--if, dissatisfied with another, you think witheven momentary regret of me, then, were I at the extremity of theearth, let me but know it, and you shall find that I have been true asthe dial to the sun, even though not brightened by its light."

  Captain De Crespigny continued with vehemence of tone and manner whichnothing could interrupt, while Marion's countenance became more andmore expressive of grief and confusion.

  "If I have been to others the reckless, inconstant, and unprincipledbeing you think, all who ever suffered a pang on my account are nowrevenged. I never really loved any one but you! All else wasfancy--vanity--any thing but love. Were others like you, there could beno changeableness or caprice, but never have I seen before, and nevershall I see again, so much to attract affection and to secureconstancy. Hereafter a solitary recollection of the hours spent withyou will be my only remaining happiness. Happiness!! there is no suchword for me, now! You, who delight in making all others happy, wouldcondemn me to misery! The thought of my defeated hopes will foreverring upon my heart. The remembrance, that when I asked that of you,which I never asked before, you coldly and indifferently rejected me."

  "Not indifferently, but with heartfelt gratitude for your disinterestedpreference," answered Marion, in a low, agitated voice. "If alreadymarried to another, I could not be more decided in saying, that youmust never renew the subject again, for I owe it to you, as much as tomyself and Richard, to say that my answer is final,--that we never canbe more to each other than friends, but that I sincerely hope the timemay come, when we shall meet as we did formerly, without emotion, butwith kind and cousinly regard."

  "Never! oh never! The very thought shows you have never loved as I do!I could not be in the same room with you,--no! not in the same kingdom.You may pity, if you cannot love me," replied Captain De Crespigny,with a deep gasp of acute disappointment; and seizing his hat, herushed out of the house, nearly suffocated by contending emotions; butas he ran, rather than walked, towards his lodgings, the first andforemost of his thoughts was, under all circumstances, and at allhazards, to persevere with unalterable pertinacity, and only with hisdying breath, to resign the hope of success.