by Marie James
Guilt swims in my gut as they continue to talk about Rocco. We were as close as we could be without being boyfriend and girlfriend, and I abandoned him when I went to college. He went to prison, and I went on to live my dream of becoming a doctor. The letters got fewer and farther between until I stopped writing him altogether. I’m the worst friend ever.
“Do you want us to feed her before we go?” Gigi asks as everyone begins to throw their cloth napkins on the table.
“We can feed her when we get back to the hotel,” I tell her, thankful for the distraction.
The walk back to the hotel is quick. Gigi brings a sleeping Amelia into our room while Jameson and Samson head to her room next door to gather her things.
I’m pulling the baby from her infant carrier when the guys return with the collapsible baby bed. Gigi makes the baby a bottle while the guys set the contraption up in the corner of the room, making sure she isn’t in the direct line of the air conditioner vents. When they say their goodnights, Gigi looks like she may cry, but eventually, they leave.
“I don’t think she’s ever been away from her since she was born,” Samson says, laying a cloth over my shoulder as I try to tease Amelia’s mouth open with the bottle nipple.
“Thank you.” I give him a small smile.
“I hope you didn’t get upset with me for telling you I didn’t want to talk about Rocco at dinner. I thought he was your boyfriend.”
“I’m not upset, promise.” I smile down at the baby when she finally opens her mouth and begins to drink. “I was a horrible friend to him. I haven’t written to him in years.”
“Life gets in the way sometimes.” I move my arm so he can slide little pink socks on Amelia’s feet. “That doesn’t make you horrible. It makes you human.”
He presses his lips to my forehead as he reaches down and lets the baby wrap her entire hand around his pinky.
“Do you want kids?”
His head pulls away from mine, and once he can coax Amelia to let go of his finger, he takes two big steps back.
“Children, Samson. Do you want them?”
His eyes dart back and forth between mine. “Is this a deal-breaker question?”
I think on that for a second before answering, but I’m certain of my answer. “Yes, it is.”
“Jesus, Cam.” He begins to pace, running both hands over the top of his head. “We’re just getting started. Isn’t this something we can discuss in a few months, or a few years even?”
“My position won’t change.”
I look back down at Amelia as he works through telling me the truth or telling me what he thinks I want to hear. Her tiny eyes flutter before her eyelashes finally begin to rest on her chubby cheeks.
“No,” he spits so loud Amelia jolts.
Her tiny mouth quivers, but I coo at her fast enough that she doesn’t cry.
“No?”
“I don’t want kids, Cam. I never have, and I’m pretty certain I never will.” He stands stock-still in the middle of the room and watches my face. “I want Lawson and D to have a million little babies, and I’ll be the best damn uncle they’ll ever know, but I don’t want any kids for myself. Did you see how long it took me to figure out that damn bed.”
My eyes don’t leave him, even as he points across the room. I try to control the twitch in my upper lip.
“Are you just saying this because you think I don’t want kids?”
“No, because I’m pretty sure you’ll want them. You’re loving and affectionate. You bring babies into the world. You’d be a great mother. Look at how attentive you are to Amelia, and she isn’t even related to you.”
“Samson.”
He starts pacing again. “I don’t want to lose you, Cam, but fuck I don’t want kids. They’re needy and don’t wipe their own asses until they’re like ten or something. You have to make plans, call in sick to work because they’re sick. Kids are expensive. Do you remember when I went that long time not brushing my teeth and had to get those cavities filled? My dad complained about rotten teeth for days.”
“Samson.”
“Not to mention having sex. Parents are tired all the time. They have to schedule sex with their partners. I don’t want to mark on a calendar when I get to fuck you. I want to be inside of you morning, noon, and night, not on some bi-weekly schedule where the stars have to align, and Mars can’t be in retrograde.”
“Samson.” He ignores me again, so I pull the empty bottle from Amelia’s mouth and lift her to my shoulder to burp her.
“Seriously, Cam. I don’t want to have to deal with any of that. I’d be a shit dad. I’m too selfish. My kids would grow up hating me. I’d be nothing like my own dads. They’re amazing. I didn’t appreciate them when I was younger, but looking back? I don’t have the patience. If I had a kid that acted the way I did growing up, I’d be in trouble.”
After Amelia burps, I place her in the portable bed and walk over to him. He jerks when I lay my hand on his shoulder.
“Samson.”
“Are you breaking up with me because I don’t want kids?”
“I don’t want kids either.”
“You don’t?” I shake my head. “Every woman wants kids.”
“No, they don’t.”
“Are you sure? You’re not just saying it because you’re not ready to give up my dick yet?”
“I don’t want kids. I’m not changing my mind.”
“You scared the fuck out of me.”
His mouth presses to mine, and when his arms wrap around my waist, I let him lift me, all the while wondering how I got so lucky.
Chapter 29
Samson
I attack her mouth with my own. I’ve gone from terrified to elated in like ten seconds, and it’s going to wreak havoc on my body later, but right now, I want all she has to offer.
“Since,” I press my lips to hers again, unable to resist, “you don’t want kids, is it unreasonable to ask you to get on birth control so I can fuck you bare? Being inside of you for those few seconds the other night was the most amazing thing I’ve ever felt in my entire life.”
She laughs against my lips.
“I mean it was amazing with a condom, too. I’m not trying to say that it wasn’t, but bare is like perfection. Is that a no? I can get snipped,” I offer.
And I will. I can’t imagine being with anyone else, but no matter who I spend the rest of my life with. I won’t change my mind about kids. They’re a hard limit for me. I never imagined she’d be in the same boat. It’s just one more thing that makes us perfect for each other.
“Can we talk about it some other time? I’d like to fuck you right now if that’s alright.”
“What?” I take a step back, my hands on her upper arms. “We can’t do that with a baby in the room.”
Her eyes roll far back into her head before she looks at me again. “That child is like two months old, and she’s asleep. You’ll just have to be quiet.”
“Says the woman who can moan paint off the wall when she’s coming.”
“So we’ll both have to be quiet.”
“I don’t know about this. It makes me feel like a pervert.”
I begin to change my mind when she grips the front of my jeans. My cock strains to meet her hand.
“Get naked and lay on the bed. I’ll do all of the work.”
Now, that is enough to make me risk it.
Even though she’s too young to remember anything, I kick off my boots and climb under the covers, making a mess of everything as I strip under the fabric. I picture her straddling me with the blanket over her shoulders. We’ll be in our own little cocoon. It’s perfect, and the baby won’t be traumatized from seeing two naked adults grunting against each other. Win, win.
“What are you doing?” she hisses, watching me after rummaging in her suitcase.
“Getting naked. Hold up. What’s that?” My jeans are tangled around my feet when I see her walking my direction with strips of Velcro that look like—“Ar
e those cuffs?”
She holds them up and waves them around. “Got ‘em from psych.”
“Those aren’t going to work tonight. There’s no way I can stop the dirty talk if I’m fucking you while you’re strapped to the bed, and we’re gonna be limited on noise.”
Still dressed, she climbs on top of the covers, trapping my jeans low on my legs under her.
“Me tied up?” Her head shakes. “That’s not how I saw tonight going at all.”
My cock jerks against the sheet.
“You wanna tie me up?”
She doesn’t answer verbally but holds her hand out. I place my wrist in it without question.
“This is going to be even worse. If I’m not able to do the things I want to you; I’m going to have to give you instructions. It’s gonna get loud.”
By the time I finish talking, she has both of my hands strapped to the headboard. I don’t know if I’m a lucky or an unlucky bastard that these hotel rooms have actual slatted headboards. When she climbs off my lap, I’m calculating the expense of paying for the damn thing if I get out of control and end up breaking it. She strips off her shirt, then her bra disappears. I’m worried about drowning in my own drool when she kicks off her jean shorts and those sinful panties I watched her put on this morning.
“You ready to play doctor?”
My cock is leaking like a fountain on my stomach, but I’m chilled to the bone when she reaches back into her suitcase and stands with a bottle of KY lubrication and a pair of rubber gloves.
A scared laugh escapes my throat as my eyes become the size of saucers.
“Wh-what are you planning?”
“Still worried about screaming?”
“I can’t answer that until you tell me what you’re planning.”
“I won’t hurt you. I promise. Maybe this would be better.” She drops low, scoops her discarded panties from the floor and makes her way to the bed. “Do you want me to stop?”
“Fuck no,” I hiss, even though I don’t have a clue what she has in mind.
She could have hot wax dripping on my body or clamps on my nipples, and all it will make me do is come harder.
“Have you ever had a prostate massage while getting your cock sucked.”
“I love it when you say cock.”
“Have you?”
“No, never.”
“Are you curious?” She bites her lower lip, waiting patiently for me to make up my mind. If she pulls the blanket down, she’d have her answer. I’m certain the head of my dick is purple at this point.
“Have you ever played doctor before?”
“I’m a doctor every day.”
“Have you ever done this to a man before?”
“I’ve done prostate exams before.” She narrows her eyes. “Are you stalling? I won’t do it if you truly don’t want me to.”
“I’m just trying to give my dick a second to relax. I don’t want to blow the second you get your mouth on me.”
“I’m more concerned about you screaming.”
“I’ll try not to.”
“This should help.”
This fucking vixen pulls back the blankets, letting them pool at my still trapped feet before straddling me, then she runs her soft panties up my stomach, my chest, and chin before urging me to open my mouth and stuffing them inside. My mouth isn’t full. Her panties are tiny, but the sentiment is there.
“So sexy.” She kisses a reverse path that her panties just took until she’s panting on my cock. “You want this?”
Lifting my head as far as I can manage, I look down at her and nod almost violently before laying my head back and thinking of baseball stats while listening to her stretch those damn gloves over her hands. When the bottle of lube is opened with a snick, I’m mindless, and my cock is throbbing.
“I wonder if I can get you off just like this.”
A low moan rushes past her panties in my mouth when she rubs a greased finger over my pucker. Fuck why does that feel so good? I don’t have a single problem reaching down there and putting pressure on my taint when I’m jacking off, but now I’m regretting not dipping an inch or so lower. It’s the most erotic thing I’ve ever felt before in my life. Or at least I think it is until she dips her finger inside.
“Jesus.” The word is muffled by the fabric in my mouth, and as much as I love them there, it’s getting on my nerves not being able to talk. It’s all too much at the same time, so I push the panties out of my mouth, spitting them to the side.
Her hand stops. “Do you want me to quit?”
“Please, don’t.”
She chuckles, and her finger delves deeper. “Let me know when I get to the sweet spot.”
I nearly kick her off the bed when her finger brushes against something magical inside of me. Now I know I’ll never second guess a man’s response to this the next time I see it in a porno.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck,” I chant, trying to stay quiet, yet needing to roar like a lion. “Please suck me.”
I have no doubt that a few more minutes worth of attention exactly where she’s at will make me blow so hard that I spray the headboard, but that may be something we should try while we’re alone, not while babysitting an infant.
“Cam,” I hiss the second her lips wrap around my cock.
I hear her gag, nearly choking on the flood a second later. I don’t have time to warn her before my orgasm unleashes like a geyser. I’m even more amazed when she doesn’t pull off but doubles her efforts.
My vision tunnels, the ceiling disappears as stars dance around, and my toes curl up so hard I get cramps in my legs. My muscles convulse, jerking like I’m having a seizure, and all the while she’s pressing into me with that one finger and sucking and licking, and driving me mad.
She finally lets me pop free from her mouth when I begin to whimper.
“Jesus, Cam. That was amazing,” I praise when I’m able to breathe without gasping.
She strips off her glove, turning it inside out the way you see the doctors doing on medical procedurals and tosses it to the floor. She wipes at her lips with the back of her hand, smiling the entire time.
“I think you like that.”
“I loved it. I lo—”
The baby begins to wail across the room.
Chapter 30
Camryn
I never thought I’d be thankful for a crying baby. Ever.
Amelia whined and whimpered all night, and I was grateful for the distraction. I know what Samson was about to say right before she let out her first wail. It scared me.
No, it terrified me because I know that if he got those words out, I’d say them back.
Not only would I say them back, but I’d mean it when I did.
And that’s impossible, right?
There’s no way I could love this man after such a short period of time. Love doesn’t work like that. Not any type of love I’ve known in the past.
“You just gonna stand there at the bottom?” Samson wraps his arms around me, bringing me back to the reality that we’re standing at the bottom of the hiking trail and everyone else is already making their way up. “What are you thinking about?”
“Just wondering if I have the energy to make it to the top,” I lie.
Well, it’s a partial lie. I am tired from being awake more than I was asleep last night, but my thoughts have been elsewhere since Gigi knocked on the door at seven to get Amelia.
Thankfully, breakfast included all of us, not just Samson alone in bed. I managed to slip out of the shower he invaded before he could look at me the way that makes my heart skip a beat and my knees go weak.
“We can always go back to the hotel,” he suggests, his lascivious tone bordering on filthy.
“We’re hiking,” I decide out loud when his hand begins to creep from around my waist past my denim shorts. “Come on.”
I pull away from him but take his hand before walking toward the trailhead.
Soon holding hands and even ta
lking is impossible, all the while Jameson coos softly to his daughter. She’s strapped to his chest in a baby carrier, and he hasn’t once pulled his hand from cradling her tiny head. Even Gigi looks content as she follows closely behind them. I would’ve figured she’d complain the whole time or beg off like Charli did when we suggested outdoor activities.
We’re a hundred yards from the summit, and I’m seconds away from giving up, telling them to go on without me and to scoop up my body on their way back down. My lungs are burning, and my glutes are on fire. Walking around a hospital all day isn’t the same as climbing the side of a mountain.
“You want a piggyback ride?” Samson is much like Jameson. He isn’t out of breath and only the barest sheen of sweat glimmers on his forehead.
“I’m dying,” I complain.
“For a woman that can ride me all night without complaining about her legs hurting, you sure are tired quickly.”
I grunt an unladylike sound before stopping to turn and face him. I’m taking the reprieve any way I can.
“That’s because there’s some pleasure for myself involved in that activity. This is just torture.”
His arms go around my waist, and he pulls me closer, uncaring that I’m soaked in sweat and grumpy.
“I asked you at least ten times if you wanted to hike. You could’ve said no.”
His nose runs along the damp column of my neck, and as much as I enjoy his touches, I’m disgusting right now.
“That’s gross. Stop.”
Shoving him in the chest with both hands doesn’t dislodge him.
“I want to feel you against me no matter the state you’re in. This is perfect.”
The scruff of his day-old beard tickles my neck as he rubs me harder. I laugh, squirming to get away from him, but he’s relentless.
“You ready to finish?” His finger brushes down the side of my face, but when I smile up at him, ready to tell him we can just wait here for the others, he has that same look in his eyes he had last night.
I’m torn between letting him say the words because a part of me is dying to say them back, but the cynical part of my brain is telling me to run, fast.
